Full Version: Welcome Aboard the MONK MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR BUS!
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I have lots of carrots to share....is that a fancy carriage like the one in OOOOKLAHOMA with the fringe on top?
I was talking with some folks from Ooooooooooooklahoma, and they shattered my pre-conceived notions by telling me that:
1.) The wind really doesn't come whippin' through the plains, it actually sort of saunters, and sometimes sashays; and
2.) While they like the name of the state, they prefer that people don't sing it.
Can you picture that? It's like
Aurora Borealis
Shinin' down in Dallas;
Can you picture that? Oh, sorry Kermit...
1.) The wind really doesn't come whippin' through the plains, it actually sort of saunters, and sometimes sashays; and
2.) While they like the name of the state, they prefer that people don't sing it.
Can you picture that? It's like
Aurora Borealis
Shinin' down in Dallas;
Can you picture that? Oh, sorry Kermit...
*Neat Freak dashes across the dance hall and past the hot tub, eyes peeled for signs of - *
Tami!
*Sends a volley of mudballs at Tami*
Oops! Sorry, Og...
Tami!
*Sends a volley of mudballs at Tami*
Oops! Sorry, Og...
I have lots of carrots to share....is that a fancy carriage like the one in OOOOKLAHOMA with the fringe on top?
*****************************
Fancy as they come fringe & all.
B.
*****************************
Fancy as they come fringe & all.
B.
Oh boy! I've always wanted to take a carriage ride - does he do hayrides too? Winter is coming ya know, at least the weather man keeps saying it is but I'm not so sure. Yesterday was 55 degrees and right now it's in the 20's
Og--
Please do not tell me the reason for the non-use of the bathroom near the swimming pool! That would be under the heading of TMI.
Get your cowboy boots out, I'll dust off my old Dale Evans outfit from the '50's and we can saunter and sashay to Friday night. (Without going near the pool!)
mdr--
Maybe you're the brightest bulb in the pack.
Meme
Please do not tell me the reason for the non-use of the bathroom near the swimming pool! That would be under the heading of TMI.
Get your cowboy boots out, I'll dust off my old Dale Evans outfit from the '50's and we can saunter and sashay to Friday night. (Without going near the pool!)
mdr--
Maybe you're the brightest bulb in the pack.
Meme
Quote:Adrian knows how to sashay! Remember how he tried to show Sharona how to "sashay" in "Manhattan"?
Get your cowboy boots out, I'll dust off my old Dale Evans outfit from the '50's and we can saunter and sashay to Friday night.
Quote:Moooooooooooooooonklahoma! Where the mud comes whipping through the bus!
*Neat Freak dashes across the dance hall and past the hot tub, eyes peeled for signs of - *
Tami!
*Sends a volley of mudballs at Tami*
Oops! Sorry, Og...
Look, Neat Freak, a free gift, just for you!
Launches a mudball lob up to the rafters on a trajectory more or less where Neat Freak was last seen
Thumbs through booklet from the supermarket check-out: "How to do the Jedi Mind trick to get NF to stand still so the mudball will land on his head" "Move hand slowly from left to right..." It doesn't say my right or his right... Oops, too late...
Free gifts?
*Neat Freak staggers back in shock as Og's glob of mud meets its intended target with a loud 'BLUP'*
Agh! Now I can't even tell what color my shirt is! (I can't remember, either which is almost as bad.)
*Neat Freak pulls out the SOD 5000 and proceeds to load the hopper*
Your Jedi mind trix are no match for my superior firepower!! Mwa ho ho ho ho! (That's the Christmas evil laugh.)
*Neat Freak staggers back in shock as Og's glob of mud meets its intended target with a loud 'BLUP'*
Agh! Now I can't even tell what color my shirt is! (I can't remember, either which is almost as bad.)
*Neat Freak pulls out the SOD 5000 and proceeds to load the hopper*
Your Jedi mind trix are no match for my superior firepower!! Mwa ho ho ho ho! (That's the Christmas evil laugh.)
The stage is dark.
A single spotlight shows a person standing meekly with head bowed. She's wearing a brown blazer, brown slacks, a brown and white shirt and, for a little color, a brown tie. She quietly walks to center-stage;takes the microphone; clears her throat and
BELTS OUT IN HER BEST ETHEL MERMAN IMITATION:
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Keep the MMMTBus rollin'
Friday's only two days awaaaaaaaaaay.
We'll see a Christmas eppy
Then we'll be feeelin' peppy
The trip will be so grand
Ride the Bus to MONKLAAAAAAAAAND.
She bows and blows kisses to her vast, admiring audience, accepts the dozens of flower bouquets heaped upon her, and what's this???
At last----the lovely parting gifts.
(Mudballs of various shapes, sizes, and textures; and as an added bonus a book of puns authored by those wonderful talents Og and Hallie.)
She is speechless and soooooo grateful.All she can say is
"You like me; you really like me".
Slowly makes her exit---stage left.
A single spotlight shows a person standing meekly with head bowed. She's wearing a brown blazer, brown slacks, a brown and white shirt and, for a little color, a brown tie. She quietly walks to center-stage;takes the microphone; clears her throat and
BELTS OUT IN HER BEST ETHEL MERMAN IMITATION:
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Keep the MMMTBus rollin'
Friday's only two days awaaaaaaaaaay.
We'll see a Christmas eppy
Then we'll be feeelin' peppy
The trip will be so grand
Ride the Bus to MONKLAAAAAAAAAND.
She bows and blows kisses to her vast, admiring audience, accepts the dozens of flower bouquets heaped upon her, and what's this???
At last----the lovely parting gifts.
(Mudballs of various shapes, sizes, and textures; and as an added bonus a book of puns authored by those wonderful talents Og and Hallie.)
She is speechless and soooooo grateful.All she can say is
"You like me; you really like me".
Slowly makes her exit---stage left.
Brava! Brava! Encore! *piercing whistle* Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
(I get thrown out of more theaters that way.)
Hmmm, broadway tunes?
I was almost a Broadway star but I kept breaking my leg...
Start spreading the news,
It's coming Friday,
I want to be a part of it,
New Monk! New Monk!
'Secret' will diffuse,
Our collective dismay,
We'll make a brand new start of it,
New Monk! New Monk!
I want to wake up to a marathon that never quits,
And find 'Earthquake' on the tube,
(Only one that I've missed).
These no-new-Monk blues,
Are melting away,
We'll make a brand new start of it,
With brand new Monk!
We'll be so very merry,
We can make it to January,
It's up to you, new Monk, new Monk.
(I get thrown out of more theaters that way.)
Hmmm, broadway tunes?
I was almost a Broadway star but I kept breaking my leg...
Start spreading the news,
It's coming Friday,
I want to be a part of it,
New Monk! New Monk!
'Secret' will diffuse,
Our collective dismay,
We'll make a brand new start of it,
New Monk! New Monk!
I want to wake up to a marathon that never quits,
And find 'Earthquake' on the tube,
(Only one that I've missed).
These no-new-Monk blues,
Are melting away,
We'll make a brand new start of it,
With brand new Monk!
We'll be so very merry,
We can make it to January,
It's up to you, new Monk, new Monk.
Quote:
Oh boy! I've always wanted to take a carriage ride - does he do hayrides too? Winter is coming ya know, at least the weather man keeps saying it is but I'm not so sure. Yesterday was 55 degrees and right now it's in the 20's
CWN sure does do hay rides too. He loves hay rides because after..... he gets to eat it all!
I know what you mean about winter.... it was warm here yesterday in my neck of the woods. Strange weather. It's supposed to be cold by the weekend though.
B.
Bravo! Bravo!
*Whistles at Meme and Hallie* Bravo! Applause!
*sneaks up next to Neat Freak while NF is distracted by the singing*
*quietly and inconspicously pounds a cork down the barrel of NF's Mudball 5000*
*slips away chuckling to himself, to go look for a shower*
*Whistles at Meme and Hallie* Bravo! Applause!
*sneaks up next to Neat Freak while NF is distracted by the singing*
*quietly and inconspicously pounds a cork down the barrel of NF's Mudball 5000*
*slips away chuckling to himself, to go look for a shower*
Thanks, Og---I haven't been whistled at in about 30 years!!! And I don't even look like you-know-who. Wow---I feel so special!!!
Thanks, Hallie, for joining in. Are you wearing your brown Monk-attire? Maybe you can be Carol Channing while I'm Ethel Merman!!
Meme
Thanks, Hallie, for joining in. Are you wearing your brown Monk-attire? Maybe you can be Carol Channing while I'm Ethel Merman!!
Meme
Quote:
Are you wearing your brown Monk-attire? Maybe you can be Carol Channing while I'm Ethel Merman!!
You bet! I'll be the 'Dolly' Lama with the feather boa and sequined tunic!
Sorry, Hallie, but I get to wear the feather boas, too. I already have three. I'm in a Red Hat Society group, and we all have several boas in red or purple to wear for our get-togethers.
Didn't Ethel Merman used to wear alot of sequined stuff? I looooooove sequined shirts, dresses, etc. Not that I really own or wear any, I just think they look neat.
Do you think we could get another bus rider to be Esther Williams? We could have this whole water-ballet sequence in either the pool or hot-tub while you and I are doing our singing. In the ballroom with the revolving disco-ball, of course.
Look out,Broadway-----the MMMTBus is on it's way---Saturday afternoon, of course.
Meme
Didn't Ethel Merman used to wear alot of sequined stuff? I looooooove sequined shirts, dresses, etc. Not that I really own or wear any, I just think they look neat.
Do you think we could get another bus rider to be Esther Williams? We could have this whole water-ballet sequence in either the pool or hot-tub while you and I are doing our singing. In the ballroom with the revolving disco-ball, of course.
Look out,Broadway-----the MMMTBus is on it's way---Saturday afternoon, of course.
Meme
Sorry, Ladies. Only one Boa is allowed per MMMTB. I'm the new Boa Restricter. (Oh come on, you knew that was coming! 
)
So, as you were saying, there's going to be a sequins of Mermaids named Ester and Ethyl? Are there any named Unleaded? I know, Silly joke, and I'm dating myself ... but you pay less for popcorn that way...
)So, as you were saying, there's going to be a sequins of Mermaids named Ester and Ethyl? Are there any named Unleaded? I know, Silly joke, and I'm dating myself ... but you pay less for popcorn that way...
Og--
You truly crack me up. Came close to caffeinating the keyboard.
Just for that----YOU get to be Esther Williams. Expect to see you at the pool with your tasteful, not too revealing swim-suit on ready to execute precision swim routines. (No fins or snorkles allowed.)If you don't participate, we may have to constrict you to your room, the one with the padding on the walls.
At today's gas prices, we can't afford unleaded. We don't need Ethyl, either; my friend calls me Lucy,because of my reddish curly hair and craziness and she is Ethel, the blonde whom I frequently talk into doing wild-and-crazy things. I'm fairly sure I could get her to ride the Bus for awhile; at least long enough to sing with us.We'll probably just use Ethanol; there's plenty of corn(y) here.
Meme
You truly crack me up. Came close to caffeinating the keyboard.
Just for that----YOU get to be Esther Williams. Expect to see you at the pool with your tasteful, not too revealing swim-suit on ready to execute precision swim routines. (No fins or snorkles allowed.)If you don't participate, we may have to constrict you to your room, the one with the padding on the walls.
At today's gas prices, we can't afford unleaded. We don't need Ethyl, either; my friend calls me Lucy,because of my reddish curly hair and craziness and she is Ethel, the blonde whom I frequently talk into doing wild-and-crazy things. I'm fairly sure I could get her to ride the Bus for awhile; at least long enough to sing with us.We'll probably just use Ethanol; there's plenty of corn(y) here.
Meme
I expect CWN has some good ideas about transportation and the use of corny fuel.
Put the heat on it's cold.
I hope the bus doesn't spin out on Julie's Christmas Snow. It might make the goldfish seasick.
Meme, thanks, I love remote-control caffeinating keyboards. It's my mission in life.
And as long as she's wearing that green sweater with the super long sleeeeeves, Natalie's sitting by meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. WooHoo.
Meme, thanks, I love remote-control caffeinating keyboards. It's my mission in life.
And as long as she's wearing that green sweater with the super long sleeeeeves, Natalie's sitting by meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. WooHoo.
Quote:
And as long as she's wearing that green sweater with the super long sleeeeeves, Natalie's sitting by meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. WooHoo.Quote:
Og---
Can't believe you wouldn't flip out over the elf outfit she wore!!!
Meme
Hi everybody!
Thank you for pick me up!
Nice Tourbus... *looking for the swimming pool* lol
May I bring this cute little animal?
Thank you for pick me up!
Nice Tourbus... *looking for the swimming pool* lol
May I bring this cute little animal?
Aww it is cute
I expect CWN has some good ideas about transportation and the use of corny fuel.
**************************
Actually, CWN doesn't do "corny" fuel because he read on the web all about aflatoxin & it freaked him out. He doesn't even like me eating corn flakes. Horses....always over reacting....flight first... jeez
B.
CWN & I are off to play in the snow..he's gonna show me how to make snow horse angels.
**************************
Actually, CWN doesn't do "corny" fuel because he read on the web all about aflatoxin & it freaked him out. He doesn't even like me eating corn flakes. Horses....always over reacting....flight first... jeez
B.
CWN & I are off to play in the snow..he's gonna show me how to make snow horse angels.
Well, the longer hair looked good on her, but I prefer her as a blonde, and those ears!
But the skirt was about right. The tights have got to go.
Of course, no matter what she wears, I won't vote her off the island. She can carol at my door any time I'm a suspect in a stakeout that's no fun because it's too easy playing 20-Questions with Mr. Monk.
But the skirt was about right. The tights have got to go.
Of course, no matter what she wears, I won't vote her off the island. She can carol at my door any time I'm a suspect in a stakeout that's no fun because it's too easy playing 20-Questions with Mr. Monk.
Okay, who wants to trade for a tunafish sandwich? I promise it doesn't contain ANY blowfish! Honest!
It's been long enough since Hallie and Lon's Deadly Treats ("For those you dote on, and those you anti-dote on"), chances are no one remembers... Ooops, did I say that out loud?
It's been long enough since Hallie and Lon's Deadly Treats ("For those you dote on, and those you anti-dote on"), chances are no one remembers... Ooops, did I say that out loud?
Hi Bubba here, just wanted you to know I'm aboard. Thanks.
Welcome back to the bus, Bubba. Lots of changes since you've been on board. It's 10 stories now, and possibly more will be added soon.
Hope you enjoy the hot tub, ballroom, library, mini-bar, among other additions. But, the silliness goes on---one thing that hasn't changed.
Meme
Hope you enjoy the hot tub, ballroom, library, mini-bar, among other additions. But, the silliness goes on---one thing that hasn't changed.
Meme
The bus isn't allowed to be on page two. Bump.
Well, somehow, it went back to page two, so:
Bumpety bump bump look at our Bus go
Bumpety bump bump straight to Monk, you know.
Meme
Bumpety bump bump look at our Bus go
Bumpety bump bump straight to Monk, you know.
Meme
It happened again! So:
Set.
Set.
Hi Bubba here, I hope there's a paved road ahead.
Oh I hope not. Because on paved roads there is no dirt, and when there's no dirt there's no mud.
Hi Bubba here, eewwww mud. I hope I remeber to put on the right shoes. Thanks.
Oh I hope not. Because on paved roads there is no dirt, and when there's no dirt there's no mud.
****************************************
Yes there is.... CWN's special blend is always available. He doesn't donate it all to gardeners.
B
****************************************
Yes there is.... CWN's special blend is always available. He doesn't donate it all to gardeners.
B
So, Neat, hows the Mudball 5000 workin' out for you? Had any backfires lately?
No way. Not with this baby. See, look, hold still and I'll show yo-
*BLOP*
Agh!!
*Staggers back and gazes with outrage at the Mudball 5000, attempting to shake mud out of hair at the same time.*
This can mean only one thing: sabotage! Cry havok! And let slip the dogs of war!
*BLOP*
Agh!!
*Staggers back and gazes with outrage at the Mudball 5000, attempting to shake mud out of hair at the same time.*
This can mean only one thing: sabotage! Cry havok! And let slip the dogs of war!
Mudball 5000! Yikes .....CWN run for the hills......& take me w/ you!
B.
Man...... I hope we're out of range.
B.
Man...... I hope we're out of range.
Quote:Get your mud-resistant umbrellas! Get 'em while they're hot! Guaranteed to repel Dogs of War, mudballs of war, and people who Cry Havok.
Mudball 5000! Yikes .....CWN run for the hills......& take me w/ you!
B.
Man...... I hope we're out of range.
Warning: Batteries are not included. Warranty void if exposed to rain. Not for use by people under 6, especially if they are also under 7. You must be this tall to ride this ride. No left turn on red light. Hi, Mom.
Yikes!! page 2. Don't tell me we're running out of gas!
Quote:Quick, feed CWN some beans!
Yikes!! page 2. Don't tell me we're running out of gas!
Quote:Aaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk!Quote:Quick, feed CWN some beans!
Yikes!! page 2. Don't tell me we're running out of gas!
Quote:Quote:Aaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkk!Quote:Quick, feed CWN some beans!
Yikes!! page 2. Don't tell me we're running out of gas!
Sniff, sniff.....CWN....do you have to do that while I'm cleaning your back feet? Put that tail down! OMG....CWN what have you been eating? OOohhhhhh.
Now I gotta post no smoking signs.
CWN...kindly point that tail in Og's direction.
Beans....whoever heard of feeding a horse beans?
B.
Ladies and gentlemen, the stables and surrounding compartments are now a "No Smoking" area.
And if you take my advice, a no breathing area! I was joking about giving beans to the horse!
And if you take my advice, a no breathing area! I was joking about giving beans to the horse!
I thought the bus was always a "No Smoking Area"? Are you telling me now that all this time that I've been sneaking smokes onto the bus I didn't have to?
I think I was wearing the horses blinders!
I think I was wearing the horses blinders!
Quote:
Beans....whoever heard of feeding a horse beans?
I tried to feed my horse mashed potatoes. He tossed his head up and down and curled his lip.
He didn't like them.
This is why you should have a lab like mine. This dog is the size of a small horse, and will eat anything thaqt doesn't crawl away from him fast enough.
Meme
Meme
Quote:
Quote:
Beans....whoever heard of feeding a horse beans?
I tried to feed my horse mashed potatoes. He tossed his head up and down and curled his lip.
He didn't like them.
LOL....I get that same reaction everytime I give my horse a french fry.(because he's begging for it ) He loves it for the 2 seconds it takes him to get the salt off it ...then he shakes his head, makes funny faces & spits it out.
B.
Quote:According to my "Horse-English Dictionary," that means, "Those humans are weird. Potatos! How can they eat that stuff! Got any oatmeal?" Unless he also whinnied, in which case it means, "I should've voted for Goldwater."Quote:
Quote:
Beans....whoever heard of feeding a horse beans?
I tried to feed my horse mashed potatoes. He tossed his head up and down and curled his lip.
He didn't like them.
LOL....I get that same reaction everytime I give my horse a french fry.(because he's begging for it ) He loves it for the 2 seconds it takes him to get the salt off it ...then he shakes his head, makes funny faces & spits it out.
B.
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