This is a FAN FIC tale of epic proportions! It tells of the story of the fateful day when Mr. Monk, Shawn, and Gus joined forces. This is a thread that has been talked about, dreamt about, and fretted about......now you can write about it and make your dream/nighmare a reality. The rules for FAN FIC are ez....we have no rules.....your characters can go anywhere including parallel universes, alternative realities, or stay in a the cozy confines of the S.F./S.B. bermuda triangle of lost souls.

A Monk/Psyche epi has been frequently discussed so I hope this will be stop gap pacifier until the REAL thing comes along. If you need some pointers on how this could possibly go I suggest some lite reading http://forums.usanetwork.com/index.php?sho...99283&st=60 .....we look forward to some very creative posts as Mr. Monk joins forces (reluctantly) with Shawn/Gus to fight the forces of crime and/or evil!

[i] This is a spoof, this is only a spoof.

Add a bit when the muse moves you.
[/i]
We'd like to poke a little fun a fan fiction while we're here. Bad characterization, spelling, and fractured plot lines are welcome. A serious or melodramatic bit here and there would work too.

But basically it's a chain story. Pick up where the last person left off, and take it where you will.

Mr Monk started his day like any other.....he brushed his teeth using the 100 stroke method, combed his hair using his patented 100 brush technique, and made himself breakfast. 10 Square pancakes with the corners neatly and uniformly trimmed piled high symetrically working in concert to form a visually pleasing delicious meal. Mr. Monk knew that this was the secret to perfect digestion. He sat at the table preparing to use his medically sterlized utensils and sanitary wipe napkin .......staring at his master piece......unwilling to take the first bite and destroy it's beautiful soothing symetetry. His Zen like meditative trance was disturbed by a knock at the door.

He opened the door to find two young gentlemen standing there with a look of AWE and admiration.

"Mr Monk my name is Shawn Spencer and this is my partner Gus Whack-ADoodle" he said not bothering to offer his hand. Having read Monks autobiography he knew without Natalie there standing by with a wipe he would be wasting his time.

Monk eyed the two suspiciously then shuffling nervously he blurted out "I'm sorry but I was just sitting down for breakfast....what can I do for you??"

"Mr Monk were here to ask you to consult on a case with us" Gus stated matter of factly......"The case of the....

TO BE CONTINUED

The other series referenced here is Death Note for anyone who isn't familiar with it and wants to read up to get the jokes.

*Note: I got the idea of a Death Note/Monk/Psych cross over from a premise of a a story on Fan Fiction.net, but only the premise, and I haven't read the story yet. The story is called 'Mr. Monk Returns to Japan' by Loyal Subject. (Giving credit where it's due)

GUS:...Kira, a serial killer in Japan.

MONK: What has a serial killer in Japan got to do with me?

SHAWN(winding up as only SHAWN can): Nothing, other than they are looking for only the very best crime solving minds in the whole world! Which means you and me, with our respective sidekicks, slash, best buds, slash, crime solving inspirations, slash, platonic life partners.

MONK: Oh... Well, let me get dressed and call Natalie.

SHAWN: Sweet! Yeah, we'll wait right here for you... OH! Pancakes!

Two minutes later, SHAWN, GUS, LASSITER, O'HARA, MONK, NATALIE, STOTTELMEYER and DISHER are all in Japan, talking to L, who is still chained to LIGHT.

SHAWN: I'm getting something... the killer, Kira... Is Zac Effron!"

LASSITER:Okay, where are my handcuffs? Guess what, Pretty Boy- Where you're going, they aren't really big fans of High School Music--Ack! :Drops dead:

O'HARA (rushes to her fallen partner's side): Carlton!

GUS:Shawn! Stop calling him Zac Effron! Did you not just see Lassiter drop dead of a heart attack?

SHAWN: Please, tell me you don't really believe this stuff! Seriously, someone writes your name in a notebook while thinking of your face and you die?

(Meanwhile Light is scribbling furiously and muttering to himself)
LIGHT: Lavender...Gooms. (Looks up and waits)... Damn!

SHAWN: It's like the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!

GUS eyes Light nervously.

GUS: Shawn...

LIGHT: ... Silly...pants... Jackson... Damn!

STOTTELMEYER: Calm down, it is really stupid.

MONK: Absolutely, ! No one can kill just by writing in a notebook!! It's preposterous!

LIGHT scowls at Stottelmeyer, but is still writing and muttering: Skoony... Pardon me, is that 'Y-O-U-T-U-R-N' or
'U-T-U-R-N'?

SHAWN: 'U-T-U-R-N'. But it's totally not gonna work.

LIGHT: Single...ton.... Damn again!

GUS: Why are you trying to kill me?! I'm not even the one who called you stupid?

LIGHT doesn't answer, but is writing again.

LIGHT: Magic...Head.

GUS: Would someone take that notebook away from him?!

SHAWN: Don't worry about it, he's just drawing little stick figures... Really unfortunate,kind of mutant stick figures...

GUS: Those are Kanji, Shawn! That's the way Japanese people write!

SHAWN: Really? That's just weird.

LIGHT: Damn! Why aren't you dead?!

GUS:... I am so glad you never tell people my real name!

RANDY, who has been looking at his own notebook curiously, waffling over whether to try it for himself, suddenly looks up at LIGHT

RANDY: For the record, my name isn't really Randy Disher. It's actually Lt. Leland Stottelmeyer. Three 't's if you count the one in 'Lieutenant'...

STOTTELEMEYER Glares at RANDY

RANDY: What? I said Lieutenant, not Captain.

MARCI pops out of nowhere and shouts: Hi! My name is Natalie Teeger, and I think you have stupid, emo boy hair!! Ha-ha! That's spelled 'N-A-T-A-L-I-E T-E-E-G-E-R'. And you eat boogers. And your handwriting is terrible!

L: He has to be thinking of the person's face as he writes their name. If he writes her name but thinks of your face, it won't work.

NATALIE: That's right, Marci Maven! Marci spelled with an 'I' instead of a 'Y'.

STOTTELMEYER to MONK: What are you doing?

MONK: Calling the hotel Sharona and I stayed at eight years ago. I want to ask them the name of that comedian. If I describe what the person looks like...

LASSITER (suddenly sits up): Damn airline food! It always gives me acid reflux...

O'HARA: Are you sure that's all it was? I did tell you not to eat the sushi...

LASSITER (grouchy as only LASSI can be): I'm fine, just help me up!

STOTTELMEYER: Okay, enough! Give me the stupid notebook, so everyone can stop freaking out!

LIGHT: Fine, it's not working anyway.

Feel free to pick it up there, or start your own cross over, write in a different format, change perspective, whatever. Just be creatively bad, and always funny! For inspiration, and for the uninitiated, check out 'Mr. Monk and the Dragon's Lair' by Marci Maven

Who is Light, and what is L?

Sorry, I put a link up there to a Wikipedia article that explained the whole premise of the Death Note series and story line, but I guess you didn't see it. I'll try to be brief, but comprehensive.

Death Note is about a notebook that is used by Japanese death gods, they write a person's name in it while thinking of their face, and the person dies, either by heart attack if nothing is written about the time and way they die, or if a certain time and cause of death is written, they die that way and at that time.

Light is a very intelligent teenage son of a police chief (who looks like the Japanese doppelganger of Stottlemeyer, actually) who found one of these Death Notes, and has started using it to kill criminals all over the world, he's being a vigilante, saying he's trying to create a new world. It would already be hard to try to figure out who is doing it because of the way the Death Note works, but because Light is a genius, it makes him even harder to catch, or to actually prove he is the one. The police don't know who is causing all these criminals to drop dead of heart attacks, usually way too many at one time for it to be a coincidence, the news started calling the killer Kira.

L is a genius who solves a lot of very complex crimes, so he is called in on the case. No one knows his name, everyone just calls him L. And he's a sugar junky, I don't think he sleeps, a lot of people would call him crazy, but others, who are more charitable, would just call him eccentric. L is Light's nemesis, and he suspects Light, and even tells Light's father he thinks it's him (Light's father is in charge of the police working on the case), and Light's dad doesn't like it, but he does consent to having his own family investigated. But because Light is so smart, L can't seem to prove anything. And because no one know's L's real name, Light can't just kill him off with the notebook.

My daughter is really into the series, but I think it's kind of funny and a bit ridiculous myself. But we joke about it a lot, especially recently when people seemed to be dying all over the place. I know that we'll probably go to hell, but I just have a dark sense of humor. I didn't make this, graphic, and I don't know who did, but I laughed my butt off for days about it-

Can we take L and Light out of the fic? This was intended to be a Monk/Psych crossover only, and I'm pretty sure the majority of people here haven't read it, and that would therefore limit the amount of people who are able to participate, since they don't know the characters.

TW. I leave this up to you, makes no difference to me and you started the story.

I think that you can either view him as the ULTIMATE BAD GUY who can kill using a strange technique or simply segue .....in any case we have to have a killer, or nemisis ....someone that Shawn, Gus, Monk et al have to try to catch......so feel free to take it a NEW DIRECTION....the most important aspect of the DRAGON'S LAIR Fan Fic link I posted as an example is that we basically kept the characters personality traits in tact while placing them in ridiculous/absurd scenarios......plus we wrote OURSELVES into scenes.....so we got to interact with the characters.

we can have multiple Bad Guys so that the Good guys have to split up.....say in one part of the story Monk, Jules and Lassie are chasing one guy....while in another part Shawn, Leyland and Natalie are following someone else ...Sharona, Gus and Randy are being the pursued in a third sub plot...your only limitation here is your imagination.....no one will be upset if you take the story and run in another direction with it just as long as you kind of keep the characters continuity in perspective.

Two minutes later, SHAWN, GUS, LASSITER, O'HARA, MONK, NATALIE, STOTTELMEYER and DISHER are all in Japan, talking to L, who is still chained to LIGHT. Here Liv used a classic technique to move the chacters...she just said it and it was done.....within two minutes of the initiall meeting everyone was magically transported to Japan...she could have also said they used the ASTRAL PROJECTOR or TIME PORTAL to put them there.....it's FAN/FIC and is filled with plot holes that hopefully will make you laugh.

I'm sure you know the Psyche fans best so take it a direction you feel they'll be comfortable with.

All righty. I don't have time to stick around right now, so I'll let you guys go ahead and continue. I might join in soon, depends if I think I can keep up with it. I'm used to straight fiction, where the genre can't change from a historical fiction to a horror story on a whim.

Fan Fic is simply a vehicle to use that we employed on the Monk in DRAGON'S LAIR......you can write the story using any genre you like. But if you go for the "straight foraward" approach I find that you run into the same old roadblocks that are inherent to the original casting. For example ....on Psyche, Shawn and Jules will be forever in a limbo state of foreplay.....much like Monk and Natalie......Shippers vs Non-Shippers......those themes have been worked to death.......but in Fan Fic you can change the dynamics.

So it doesn't matter how we begin the story. And frankly it doesn't ever really matter if we begin the story at all. But if anyone wants to TRY a crossover as has been suggested for years now by both boards I'm willing to entertain any ideas. But if the thread dies it dies.....no worries.

MONK AND PSYCH CROSSOVER

By Austin Charles Thompson

Scene one: (In Monk's apartment)

News spokesperson: Ann Schulter here with CNS news, our top story tonight, Shawn Spencer, a Psychic for the Santa Barbara police department has been quite the buzz the past few years, with his success and breakthrough in the mysterious yin yang killer case to uncovering a dinosaur, there seems to be nothing stopping him. This leads us to ask the question, who is the man behind the case?

Shawn: Well there really isn’t much here to say, I mean, look at me; do I look like a crystal ball using, palm reading, juju bean eating kind of guy? I mean sure, they are quite scrumptious, but at the same time, brilliance sometimes comes in the most handsome of packages. I guess you could say I’m just lucky.

Interviewer: What do you have to say about Adrian Monk, the detective?

Shawn: Well first off…what is it with the hands? I mean really? Really? Does he really need to embarrass himself by looking like a 4 year old looking for his glasses? I guess he’s okay, but there can only be one Shawn Spencer

(Scene Opens up in Monks apartment, with Monk watching the television while Natalie is making Mr. Monk dinner in the kitchen.)

Monk: Natalie, are you watching this? I mean just look at this guy, a Psychic, everyone knows Psychics are fakes, what hogwash.

Natalie: I don’t know Mr. Monk, my aunt Kara went to a psychic once, told her that she’d meet a handsome sailor who would take her breath away, and steal her heart. That was until after she discovered he was a con man who later emptied her bank account and left her stranded alone on her honeymoon, only to drink vodkas on the beach with the dolphins….

Monk: My point is who is this guy? I mean how do we know he’s really a psychic? For all we know he’s just using this psychic thing as a cover up because he’s too lazy to be a real detective.

Natalie: I don’t know Mr. Monk. Why don’t you ask him? He’s coming to San Francisco next week for some special case, it’s been all over the papers,.

(Phone Rings)

Natalie nods a couple times…hangs up the phone.

Natalie: That was the captain, said to meet him tomorrow at his office, says it’s urgent.

Scene 2 (Santa Barbara Police Station)

Scene opens up over Santa Barbara
Shawn and Gus are walking through the police station.

Shawn: Wow, this chicken is awesome, Gus you have to taste this chicken, It puts the pow in kung pow!

Gus: I’m not going to taste it Shawn, we all know what happened last time you had me taste something.

Shawn: How was I supposed to know the jelly donut I found at the crime scene wasn’t really filled with jelly? My bad, but seriously taste the chicken.

Gus: No I won’t taste the chicken

Shawn: Taste the chicken!

Gus: NO Shawn!

Shawn: YES!

Gus: NO!

Juliet: Guys, guys, calm down. The chief just called you in, says it’s important.

Shawn: How important?

Juliet: I don’t know, why don’t you ask her yourself? She’s waiting for you in her office.

Shawn: This better not be like the time she called us in to go nanny hunting for her kid, we still haven’t gotten paid for that, Gus why haven’t we gotten paid for that?

Gus: I don’t know Shawn, you still haven’t paid me back for those 500 dollars you spent on sock puppets last week.

Shawn: C’mon dude? Sock puppets! (Shawn does puppet voice “C’mon Gus play with me, play with me Gus”)

Gus: Ok, ok, I get you; just promise me you’ll never use that voice again, ever.

Vick: Spencer, Guster, in my office, noww.

Vick: I just got off the phone with the white house, they said there is an emergency and they want Mr. Spencer in on a case.

Shawn: What case?

Vick: I don’t know, they aren’t telling me much more, you fly out to D.C. first thing tomorrow; they’ll be a car ready to take you.

Shawn: D.C? Wow, looks like we’ve hit the big leagues, huh Gus?

Vick: Oh and another thing, you’ve been assigned a partner, a Mr. Adrian Monk, he’ll be working with you closely on the investigation.

Shawn: Partner? Chief you know I don’t do well with partners, isn’t that right Gus?

Gus: I wouldn’t know, I’m your co investigator remember?

Shawn: What do you mean, you’re my wingman, my el bro’ho, of course your my partner.

Gus: I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer Shawn.

Vick: Okay it’s settled, good luck and Godspeed gentlemen.

Shawn: Gentlemen? Really? Is that all you got, is gentlemen?

Scene 3 (Captain Stottlemeyers Office)

Captain: Monk, Natalie, please sit down.

Natalie: What is it? Sounds urgent.

Captain: Yesterday I got a call from a friend in D.C..

Monk: Washington D.C?

Captain: Yes Monk, that Washington D.C. The president has requested that Monk fly out and help with a case they’ve been working on.

Monk: Fly? Fl-fl-fl…I can’t do that. I still haven’t gotten the tiles fixed in my bathroom, one of them isn’t as square as the others, and they’re all uneven, kind of rectangular actually. And besides Natalie’s busy with that important thing…remember?

Natalie: What thing?

Monk: You know the thing? With the stuff? You’ve been talking about it allll weeekkkkk?

Natalie: Oh thattt thing, sorry captain, guess the president will have to find someone else to work on the case.

Captain: Don’t worry, I’ve got that covered, Monk will have the best security they have to offer, and you wont even have to take a plane, I’ll schedule a car.

Monk: I still don’t know…I mean car safety these days… just not what it used to be…

Natalie: C’mon Mr. Monk! This is the president, how many people can say the president asked for them specifically?

Monk: I don’t know….. how many?

Captain: Just take the case, they’ll be a car ready to pick you up first thing tomorrow.

Monk: Captain, What is the case exactly?

Captain: I’m not sure…they aren't giving me any details. They said they’ll explain it all when you get there.

Captain: Oh, and one more thing….they’ve assigned you a partner.

Monk: A partner?

Captain: Yeah, a Psychic from Santa Barbara, a Mr. Shawn Spencer.

Monk: Oh, not that guy, noo no no.

Natalie: Mr. Monk saw him on the news last night, he’s supposed to be one of the best detectives in the country.

Monk: Exactly my point, I work alone, I can’t do it.

Natalie: Mr. Monk your going, no questions. I’m sure he’s a nice guy, just give him a chance.

Monk: Alright, but I’m riding shotgun.

Captain: I wouldn’t have it any other way

Scene 4 (Off To Washington)

The Next Morning Shawn & Gus are in there apartment packing for the trip to D.C. when the phone rings.

Shawn: Yeah, Chief.

Vick: Spencer, you and Guster’s flight plans have been changed, you’re going to San Francisco, the FED’s have tracked a lead there, which means you and Mr. Monk will start working on this investigation today. You’ll be informed on what to do next after you land. I’m warning you Spencer, don’t mess this up. Or it will not only be your heads on the line.

Shawn: Alright Chief….got it.

Gus: Who was that?

Shawn: It was the chief, she sounded angry

Gus: Angrier than the time you bought her that book “anger management for single moms” as a Christmas present last year?

Shawn: How was I supposed to know that her and her husband were no longer “separated”? Either way, change of plans, Chief called us in and said we’re heading to San Francisco.

Gus: What? No D.C.?

Shawn: Sorry Gus, I know how much you were looking forward to getting your picture taken in front of the statue of liberty.

Gus: The statue of Liberty is in New York,

Shawn: Eiffel tower? The place that makes those cool little spin top thingys you get in happy meals?

Gus: Shawn, even you know the Eiffel towers in Paris, and no, those are made in south Korea.

Shawn: Oh man, they make em’ so nice and circle-e.

Shawn: Anyways pack your bags, chief wants us flying out to San Franciscy pronto.

Gus: Okay, but this time I’m taking the seat by the window, you know what happened last time I sat in the middle.

Shawn: C’mon Gus, it was one time, and I’m sure the guy who puked on you didn’t know your shoes were made of custom Italian leather.

Gus: They were a 200 hundred dollar pair of shoes Shawn, limited edition, you can’t find them anywhere in the U.S. or Canada.

Shawn: Actually Gus, I’ve been meaning to tell you. Those shoes were fakes.

Gus: What?! You knew all this time and didn’t bother telling me?

Shawn: I didn’t want to ruin your mojo, besides wasn’t it obvious? I mean the guy who sold them to you looked and smelled like a hobo. He even had the little gloves with the finger pockets cut out and the breath that just screams,” tic tack”.

Gus: Well thanks for ruining that for me Shawn, just start packing.

(Scene 5 Mr. Monk and the Psychic finally meet)

(San Francisco approx 10:35 am, Monk and Natalie receive a call about a dead body found 5 minutes from the airport)

Natalie: What about D.C.?

Captain: That will have to wait, the FED’s just traced a connection between this case and the one Monk’s been assigned to. As of right now, this is in our jurisdiction.

Monk: So were not going to D.C.?

Natalie: No Mr. Monk. We’re not going.

Monk: Hurray! I can’t stand looking at those tiles in my bathroom; they’ve been taunting me day and night. I just hate rectangles, so long and panorama like, drives me crazy.

Natalie: What about the case?

(Mr. Monk and Natalie then turn to see a dead body in the alleyway)

Captain: Oh right, name is Alexander Vasquez, from the British armed forces division, flew out here two days ago on special assignment, something to do with the terrorist bombings in London a few months ago. He was chasing down a lead when he was struck in the back of the head and shot 4 times, twice in the back and another two in the torso.

Monk: Anything else?

Captain: Nope, have a look around, maybe you’ll spot something. Oh and Shawn Spencer’s on his way here, so do your best and try to not touch anything until he arrives.

Natalie: Alright Captain, got it.

(Monk looks around for a moment and spots something)

Natalie: What is it?

Monk: It’s a paper; (grabs a pen and uses it to pull a paper out of the dead guy’s pocket)

There’s some writing scribbled in on the back, Natalie here, read this.

Natalie: “Tonight you’ll die, for whose sins you pay? The big man sees you, and it’s his game you’ll play”. Airport: 12 am. Come alone, or else.

Natalie: What could this mean?

Monk: I don’t know, big man… game you’ll play. What game? What could he possibly get from killing a detective, what is he after?

Natalie: I don’t know Mr. Monk, but look whose here.

(Slow motion sequence, Shawn opens the door and walks toward Monk, hands running through his hair and a look of sheer confidence hanging on his face).

Shawn: Hi, Shawn Spencer, psychic for the S.B.P.D., I like long walks on the beach, getting my tan on, and I solve police cases in my spare time. And who might this lovely lady be?

(Kisses Natalie’s hand)

Natalie: Oh, hi, I’m Natalie Teager, and this is my boss, Adrian Monk, we work with the San Francisco police department, and from what we’ve heard you’re quite the detective.

Shawn: Oh really? Have they told you about my reputation for being awesome? Oh and this is my partner, ding dong jama lama ping pong the 3rd, but you can just call him pumpernickel sczlibinsteen for short.

Gus: Hi, I’m Burton Guster, Shawn’s co investigator, I’m also a part time pharmaceuticals salesman. Nice to finally meet you Mr. Monk; I’ve read all about you, I’m a huge fan of your work.

Shawn: Of course you are, now let’s get down to the nougat-e center past the layers of chocolaty goodness here shall we? What can you tell me about this guy? Other than his horrible taste in neckties, that his wristwatch is on backwards or the creepy Def Leopard tattoo that’s on his right ankle?

Natalie: Wow, how did you know about that?

Monk: Its simple, the letters d and e are visible through a tear in his right pant leg; anyone could have figured it out.

Shawn: Don’t be silly, I’m a psychic, that’s what psychics do. We see stuff, its all up here, in our third eye.

Natalie: Mr. Monk, be nice! You have to admit that’s pretty impressive!

Monk: Righttt, how can we know for sure he’s really a psychic?

Shawn: Let me prove it you, (Shawn scans environment for a second)

Your favorite number is 10, you have a strange fear of anything round or pointy, you wear your pants on too tight and obviously lack having any kind of fashion sense, you haven’t had a real date in a little over ten years, the man staring at you is an undercover FED, Oh and you forgot to ask for a wipe after Gus shook your hand.

Monk: Natalie, wipe! Wipe! Gahhh.

Shawn: So back to the dead guy…

Monk: He was found here this morning, shot 4 times, we found this note on him not too long ago.

(Natalie hands Shawn the note)

Natalie: We think it might tell us something about the person who killed him.

Shawn: What? Other than the fact that this guy has terrible grammar skills and obviously has never heard of the “I before e except after c” rule? Come on! “The big man sees you? Really? Is that the best he could think of?

(Monk starts using his hands to figure out something)

Shawn: That’s quite a strange thing you got going on there, sure it isn’t contagious?

Natalie: Mr. Monks not contagious, at least I hope he’s not. That’s just his way of figuring stuff out, like you, only without the third eye thing.

Shawn: I see, if I moved my hands around like that I’m sure id spot something eventually too.

Natalie: Hey! Don’t say that! Mr. Monk here is a great detective, the best there is.

Shawn: Oh right, and I’m Justin Timberlake, just take a look at this sexy back.

Gus: That reference totally did not make sense Shawn.

Shawn: Well I took a swing at it. Anyways…

(Shawn spots something, some white residue that appears like concrete, grass stains on both his shoes and his badge missing from his belt)

Monk and Shawn: He didn’t die here.

Natalie: Wow, your right, he is good!

Monk: Look at his shoes, they have grass stains on them, and his badge is missing, had he been seen by anyone at a park earlier that day? Possibly a zoo, or a farmhouse?

Shawn: I’m sensing he was killed somewhere close by, like that whole in the wall Mexican place me and Gus stopped by on the way here, or that weird salon that offers free haircuts to poodles, no wait, a construction site!

Monk: Maybe he went to a park to search for something, and was followed and killed somewhere around here. There are…

Shawn: Security cameras! Check the security cameras! Our killer might be spotted on those tapes.

Monk: That still doesn’t answer why though, why kill him? What did he find? What was he after? And what else are they not telling us?

Shawn: I don’t know, I’ll figure it out later, Gus and I going to have a look around town.

Natalie: Don’t you mean “we will” figure it out? Mr. Monk is on this case too.

Shawn: Yeah sure, look, not to cramp your style or anything, but Gus and I have always been the one’s to solve these kinds of cases, so it looks like you and Mr. Bean over there should head home and get some sleep, and let the real detective here do his job.

Monk: Look, I’m not happy about this either, but from the way this case is looking, I’m not sure either one of us could solve it on our own without the other’s help.

Shawn: Will see, good day gentleman and lady Off to explore this foreign land known as San Francisco.

Natalie: Well he was nice?

Monk: Wait, he missed something, his coat pocket, there’s a card in there.

(Card reads “Don’t try and call the psychic, he’s in this much farther than he knows, much more”.)

(Note for later on) Have a scene where Monk and Shawn are trapped in danger together. And the S.B.P.D and S.F.P.D. have to work together to find there two detectives.

Scene 6: The Secret Clue

(Shawn and Gus are driving around San Francisco, tracing a piece of evidence Shawn kept from Monk and Natalie).

Gus: I can’t believe you didn’t tell them Shawn, do you know how much trouble we’re in if the chief finds out we withheld evidence from the S.F.P.D?

Shawn: She’s not going to find out, and besides, I was going to tell them, until that Monk guy had to ruin the moment by stealing our thunder.

Gus: I told you he was good.

Shawn: Yeah, but not as good as me, no ones as good the el’ borda sone, which is Spanish for chicken fighter. Look, up ahead, it’s the same address as the one written in Vasquez’s jacket.

(We see an old abandoned factory that appears rusted on the outside)

Gus: I don’t know Shawn; don’t you think we should’ve called for back up? You know just in case something happens to one of us?

Shawn: Oh shush, nothings going to happen. Were just going to sneak in, look for some clues, and sneak out without any suspicion.

Gus: I’m still not sure this is safe.

Shawn: Fine, you wanna be a wuss? Then stay in the car, I’m going in.

Gus: You know that’s not fair Shawn, you’re the one who signed the forms for our rental car and the plane tickets, if something happens to you how am I supposed to get home?

Shawn: Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find a way, now are you going to help give me a boost or not?

Gus: Fine, but wipe your shoes before stepping on my hands, I don’t want to catch any diseases while were over here. Especially after that time I caught pneumonia when you told me that mushroom was a lucky charm marshmallow.

(Shawn wipes his feet)

Shawn: O C’mon Gus, we were 7, you know that was just a joke. And besides, they’re magically delicious.

(Shawn puts his hand on Gus’s head to boost him over the fence)

Gus: Well (irritated by Shawn’s hand on his face) It wasn’t funny. I could’ve died if it weren’t for your dad figuring out you poisoned me.

Shawn: Well, next time your life’s in danger ill be sure to remember that. In the mean time, stay here while I have a look around.

Gus: Alright, but if something happens to you know in there, remember I told you so.

Shawn: Will do buddy.

Scene 7: Monk gets hugged.

(Monk and Natalie are walking down the street talking)

Monk: There’s something about this case, it doesn’t add up.

Natalie: What do you mean Mr. Monk?

Monk: I don’t know, it just feels so…arranged. Like it was planned out in advance, it doesn’t make any sense. The evidence just doesn’t point to it being some random act of murder; maybe this big man guy is trying to tell us something…

Natalie: Like what?

Monk: I don’t know…. I think we should go have a talk with the Captain; he might be able to provide us with more details.

(An old lady holding her grocery bags walks by, bumps into Monk, and drops her bags)

Old lady: Oh, I’m so sorry, I apologize.

Natalie: No, it’s not your fault, here; let me help you with that.

Old lady: Oh that would be wonderful, thank you (hugs Monk for an awkward 10 seconds)

Monk: Okayyy, that’s enough with the hugging now, mam, hello?

Old lady: Oh I’m sorry, let me take those (grabs groceries) thanks again!

Natalie: Well that was awkward.

Monk: Tell me about it, I’m feeling a little off balance.

Natalie: Well she did hug you pretty tight; maybe she threw something out of place.

Monk: Probably. Let’s head back to the police station, I need to see what’s on those tapes.

Scene 8: Police station S.F.P.D.

Captain (on the phone): No I don’t know what to get him for his birthday.
He’s 17 now, of course I know that!
Look just give him some money on a gift card and give me some time to decide what to buy him for his present.

Okay, bye. (Hangs phone up)

Randy: Captain, you asked to see me?

Captain: Yeah Randy, come in.

Randy: Is something wrong?

Captain: No, nothing’s wrong, did you find anything on those tapes I sent you?

Randy: Yeah, they’re analyzing the last of it down at the lab now. But so far we’ve got 2 possible leads.

Captain: Which are??

Randy: Take a look at this tape (pops in tape)

See that bald guy walking down the corner?

Captain: Yeah.

Randy: His name is Jack “washer” Higgins, wanted for two counts of murder and theft, sentenced to 20 years in federal prison but was let off on par roll last year for good behavior.

Captain: And your thinking this could be our guy?

Randy: Pretty sure of it, DNA ran his prints down at the lab; they’re a match with the ones found on Vasquez’s jacket.

Captain: What about the other lead?

Randy: What other lead?

Captain: The one you said you had?

Randy: Oh, right. There’s also this man (pauses tape) Shane wung chau, so far all we’ve found on him is a rap sheet involving one year in juvy for assaulting an officer, and 5 years probation for aiding the police in an investigation a couple years back.

Captain: Okay, let’s bring them in for questioning.

Police officer #1: Captain, its Adrian Monk, he’s on his way up.

Captain: Perfect, let him in.

(Monk walks in with Natalie)

Monk: Captain.

Captain: Monk,

Monk: So what do you have on the case so far?

Captain: First, take a seat.
Natalie: Captain, what is it? Is something wrong?

Captain: I received a call from Shawn Spencer an hour ago. Apparently him and Monk here had a little run in today back in the alley.

Monk: Yeah, that’s right.

Captain: He said you called him “a few planets short of a solar system (temporary joke) ”.

Monk: What? I didn’t say that. I mean sure his breath reeked of tacos and one of the buttons on his shirt was missing, and his pants had ketchup stains on both knees. But I never said anything bad about him.

Natalie: Yeah, if anything we should be the ones saying something about him. He called Mr. Monk here contagious.

Monk: I’m not contagious.

Natalie: No Mr. Monk, of course your not. Just really…special.

Monk: What’s that supposed to mean?

Natalie: Captain? The case?

Captain: Oh, right now we have two suspects. Randy, show them the tape.

Randy: Right, so far we’ve narrowed it down to this guy; his prints were found on Vasquez’s jacket. And this man, were running more tests down at the lab now.

(Monk then sees something on the tape)

Monk: Wait, stop the tape!

(stops tape)

There, see that?

Captain: See what?

Monk: There!

Captain: I don’t see anything.

Monk: There! In the corner, by the trash can!

Captain: What is it?

Natalie: It looks like a man.

Monk: From the looks of it I’d say he’s 5”7 approx, 120-130 pounds. Could be a kid.

Natalie: What would a kid be doing in an alley that late at night?

Randy: Could be using drugs, didn’t want to get caught.

Captain: Have we found a second body?

Randy: No, ill have our guys check the scene one more time just in case.

Captain: Until then lets keep an eye out for this kid, he could be our only link to finding a suspect.

Scene: 9

Shawn: Sean Cassidy to Julia Styles, Sean Cassidy to Julia styles over.

Gus: What is it with you and Julia Styles?

Shawn: C’mon dude, just go with it. Tell me what’s going on outside.

Gus: So far, nothing. And next time I get the guy code name. I’m sick of being the woman.

Shawn: C’mon dude she’s hot! Besides I’ve been a little down on my references lately, so it was either that or billy ray cyrus.

Gus: Man, you really need to catch up on your 80’s; I don’t know how much more I can take of this.

Find anything yet?

Shawn: No, and this place is really freaking me out. I mean the meat hooks are still on the walls, and I keep hearing this buzzing sound coming from under the floor somewhere…its really annoying. It’s starting to remind me of that trip to Porto rico we took that summer in 95’.

Wait I see hear something its….

Unknown man 1: Did you find it?

Unknown man 2: No, and I’m not sure its here either.

Unknown man 1: What are you talking about?

Unknown man 2: What if were just being sent on some wild goose chase, we could just be the bait, how do we know the cops wont find us?

Unknown man 1: Listen, big man said we find it we score big. Now shut up and keep looking.

Unknown man 2: For what? We don’t even know what it looks like.

Unknown man 1: Trust me, you’ll know.

Shawn: Gus!! There are two guys in here; one of them looks an awful lot like Neil Patrick Harris, except this guys got an awesome British accent. The other one is short.

Gus: How short we talkin’?

Shawn: Gary Coleman short.

Gus: WHAT? You cant be serious.

Shawn: No not that Gary Coleman, the guy who gave us our tacos at del cala casa this morning.

Gus: Oh, well that’s still short.

Shawn: Hold on I’m gonna try and get a closer look….(Shawn drops his phone)

Unknown man 2: Hey, what was that?

Unknown man 1: I don’t know, take a look around.

Unknown man 2: Why not you, you’re the one with the gun.

Unknown man 1: Because meathead, big man said I’m the boss, which means you’re the one doing all the grunt work, understand?

Unknown man 2: Yeah, so what is this about, this Adrian Monk, what’s he got to do with this?

Unknown man 1: Something about framing him for murdering someone. don’t really know for certain.

END..or is it? lol

Kudos Charles on an excellent begining!

Scene 10

Police headquarters in S.F. the phone rings in the Capt Stottlemyers office where Randy, Monk and Natalie have just finished reviewing the tape.

Chief Vick: Hello Capt Stottlemyer this is chief Vick from the SBPD.....I have in my office with me Detectives Lassiter and O'hara along with Mr. Henry Spencer, Shawns father.

Stott: Hello Chief Vick let's put everyone on speaker phone....I have Lt. Randy Disher, Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger in my office we're just reviewing our preliminary notes on the case.

Lassie: Great bring us up to speed if you don't mind.

Randy: Well, a British agent with a Latin name, Alexander Vasquez, was found murdered in an alley....we're calling it the case of the "SPANGLISH 007"!

O'hara: The what????

Lassie: Who's the idiot who thought of that???

Randy: Miffed....You can't catch them if you don't name them!!

Stott: Exasperated......Randy we're not calling it that....just give them the facts.

Henry: Wait a minute ....did you say Alexander Vasquez?? I worked with a Vasquez from SAS back in the day when I was in military counter intelligence.

Monk: Oh was that before you spawned a Psychic Detective??

Nat: Punches him in the arm.....Be nice Mr. Monk! (to Henry) Your son is a good detective sir and a fine young man you should be proud.

Vick: We understand....Shawn can be a handfull at times but he's never let us down.

Lassie mimicks the Chief under his breath "never let us down"
Lassie: Can we just get back to the case??

Randy: Right!! We have some survelliance tapes that have caught a couple of suspicious characters on tape. We'll be questioning them very soon. Also a note we found in the victims pocket.....plus we have his clothes at the forensics lab so we'll get that report to you ASAP.

Henry: Capt Stottlemyer do you mind if I fly up to S.F. as a consultant ......Vasquez and I had some history together....I might be able to shed some light on the case.

O'Hara: Mr Spencer do you really think that's a good idea considering how Shawn likes to work independently?

Stott: Anything you can add to this case is welcome as long as you remember not to get directly involved.

Monk: aside to Natalie.....Sure why don't you bring up the whole tribe of Gypsies....we can have a seance, tell fortunes, read palms....

Vick: Fine then...we'll look forward to your next report.

Scene 11

Shawn grabs his phone, hoping that nobody would come looking for him.

Unknown guy #2: I think he's gone.

Unknown guy #1: Yeah, but we won't know for sure until you check it out.

Unknown guy #2: Fine, whatever.

He walks toward the back of the building, and Shawn ducks behind some crates. The man growls in frustration and walks back to his partner.

Unknown guy #2: Yeah, he's gone.

Shawn sighs in relief, and races out of the building silently.


Scene 12

Gus sits in his car, worried about what kind of trouble Shawn could be getting into.

Shawn comes running from the factory, and he leaps into the car.

Shawn: Go, go, go!

Gus: Did you find out anything?

Shawn: Does it matter?

Gus: Yes, Shawn, it matters.

Shawn: Look, they could be coming after me!

Gus: Fine, but we get to stop for burritos on the way.

Shawn frowns.

Shawn: Burritos? We just had them yesterday. Dude... Jerk chicken.

Gus: You know that's right.

Shawn and Gus drive away.