“I’m a regular prodigal.” – Shawn
“Define prodigal.” – Gus
“You know, prodigal.” – Shawn *doing different motions with his hands* “Prod as in Prada. Igal as in Steven Seagal.”
“It means ‘one who has returned after an absence’, Shawn.” - Gus
“Oh, thank you, almighty Vocabulary Wizard.” – Shawn
“Spell vocabulary wizard, Shawn.” – Gus
“Spell my ass.” – Shawn
“M.Y F.O.O.T up in there.” – Gus
“What?” – Shawn
“Do you want a demonstration?” – Gus, angrily
“Knowledge is power!” – Shawn *runs away* **
[about which character Shawn would be from the TNT show "Trust Me".]
“That’s hard because I can be serious at times but I can be Tom Cavanaugh.” – Shawn
“You’re serious at times but you can be Tom Cavanaugh? And what am I? Eric McCormick in the analogy?” – Gus
“Of course not. You’re not even on the show.” – Shawn
[partially quoted from a USA Network commercial for "Miami Vice"]
“When you’re fighting the war on drugs…” – Lassie
“You take Jamie Foxx with you?” – Shawn
“I’m like a cat, I land on all fours. Not on the pavement. That hurts.” –Shawn
“You know what else hurts?” – Gus, sarcastic
“Glass.” – Shawn **
“Remember me as I could’ve been.” – Shawn
“Should’ve been.” – Gus
“Exactly.” – Shawn
“Nice job referencing the song.” – Shawn
“Thank you.” – Gus
“You’re welcome.” – Shawn
“Ryan Seacrest’s job is done. He ruined your children.” – Shawn
“Pointy objects are closer than they appear.” – Gus
“Exactly.” – Shawn
“You could’ve drawn better than that even suffering from delusions.” – Shawn
“Oh, that reminds me, I changed something.” - Gus
“What did you change without my consult…? Consult? I meant to say consent.” – Shawn
“That’s like being stabbed in the heart.” – Shawn
“Hard.” – Gus
“It’ll hurt either way.” – Shawn
“They stay well preserved. Like Michael Keaton.” – Shawn
“Tom Hanks looks old.” – Gus
“That’s because he is.” – Shawn
“Thank you.” – Gus
“I’m glad I cleared that up.” – Shawn
[about what Mark McGrath's been doing; hosting]
“He’s doing the Pussycat Dolls.” – Gus
“All of them?” – Shawn
“At once.” – Gus
“What? Like a five some.” - Shawn
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” – Shawn
“Me neither.”- Gus
“Well, that makes two of us.” – Shawn
“That’s Lassie’s weakness. Kittens.” – Shawn
“I know. He told me once.” – Buzz
“He showed me once.” – Shawn
“But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?” – Shawn
“George Bush?" - Gus
“I was going to say Vin Diesel.” – Shawn
“Keanu Reeves.” – Gus
“I want you to steal a Porsche for me, Gus.” – Shawn
“Yeah, cause I’m going to get on that.” – Gus, sarcastic
“That’s so tragic.” – Gus
“Aww, that’s almost sad.” – Shawn
“Aww, they love him.” - Juliet
“Aww, I don’t know him.” – Shawn
“I enjoy being needed.” – Buzz
“You enjoy being needed? Like clay?” – Shawn
“Sure?" - Buzz
[after Gus makes his voice deeper]
“That’s how you do a man’s voice.” – Gus
“It’s has to be Batman or it’s not a man.” – Shawn
“You’re like an itch I can’t scratch. Because I’m in public.” – Shawn
[after Juliet has a dream about Shawn and then one about Josh Duhamel]
“I’m glad me and Josh Duhamel could keep you up at night.” – Shawn to Juliet
“We failed, we didn’t watch enough Jackie Chan movies as children.” – Shawn
“She gonna get with him.” – Shawn
“He’s a teacher.” – Gus
“That’s never stopped anybody before.” – Shawn
“I’m sure she’s not doing anything. She’s in Canada, what can she do?” – Shawn
“That was a Gus moment. I’m sorry.” – Shawn
“Where’s the wind coming from?” – Gus
“I don’t know. Your wind-blown hair?” – Shawn
“Metamorphosis, really?” – Gus
“I know, what are they, Hilary Duff?” – Shawn
“I know, right?” –Gus
“Pluto. It’s not a planet anymore.” – Gus
“Nobody’s using it.” – Shawn
“I don’t know the answer to the question you’re asking.” – Shawn
“It takes an 80’s fan.” – Shawn
[about getting an officer to help them with a case]
“We should just go to the SBPD and stand in the middle of the hall and whoever doesn’t shoot us, we’ll go with.” – Shawn
“A fictional character can help you more than we can.” – Shawn
“It was creepy. All up in your peripheral vision.” – Shawn
“Eww, I just got a mental image.” – Shawn
“Good, that’s what I wanted you to get.” – Gus
“It would’ve been wrong.” – Shawn
“It would’ve been illegal.” – Gus
“On so many continents.” – Shawn
“What doesn’t kill us, keeps us alive.” – Shawn
[about Gus' little blue car]
“I have to call it the Echo now.” – Gus
“Thank you, Byrd Tatums.” – Shawn
“What are you doing?” – Shawn
“Nothing.” – Jules
“I do that on the weekends.” – Shawn
[someone is talking to Gus while he's supposed to be causing a scene so Shawn can sneak into a building]
“Dude, you’re distracting my distracter.” – Shawn
“I have to pee.” – Gus
“Mental image noted.” – Shawn
[Juliet is talking to Gus on the phone and Gus is randomly singing]
“Is he there?” – Jules about Shawn
“Yes. He’s listening to me sing. Right, Shawn?” - Gus
“Yes. I do that after midnight.” – Shawn
“Somebody’s at the door.” – Gus
“It’s Dominoes. "Get the door, it’s Dominoes."” – Shawn
“But I didn’t even order Dominoes.” – Gus
“Oh. Still.” – Shawn
“I know that’s a word, I just can’t say it.” – Shawn
“I wish I worked for TMZ so I could get money and have a job that doesn’t matter.” – Shawn
“I die and come back like an angel in the outfield. Like Dennis Quaid.” – Shawn
“Christopher Lloyd.” – Gus
“I mean, Kevin Costner.” – Shawn
“Field of Dreams.” – Gus
“Dennis Quaid? "If you build it they will come.”" – Shawn
[Shawn and Gus are writing a story]
“Something terrible has to happen.” – Gus
“Well, it’s Santa Barbara; take your pick.” – Shawn
[a premiere party is going on in Los Angeles]
“Why aren’t we in L.A., Shawn?” – Gus
“Because we’re not allowed. Remember the burrito incident of ’95?” – Shawn
“Good times.” – Gus
“I understand completely.” – Lassie
“Completely?” – Shawn
“Sadly.” – Lassie
[Shawn is in a room, trying to explain what he does to someone]
“I just keep making stuff up as I go.” – Shawn
*Shawn runs over to the other side of the room and sits at a desk*
“That’s what you’re supposed to do.” – Shawn
“I don’t like him anymore.” – Shawn
“Why?” – Gus
“Because he smells like he’s been trapped in a dumpster for three weeks with James Franco and a banana peel. And a half eaten pineapple.” – Shawn
“Poor Michael Phelps. He gets subjected to our imagination. He enjoys it.” – Shawn
“No, he doesn’t.” – Gus
“It was either let her get killed on her own or help her get killed.” – Shawn
“I actually thought he was black. He’s the blackest white guy I know. Like Gus. Wait a minute.” – Shawn
“We either have to become superheroes or have famous friends. It’s more likely we’ll become superheroes.” - Shawn
“Run like somebody’s after you on a fishing boat!” – Shawn
“On a fishing boat?” – Gus
“Yes, because they go on land now.” – Shawn
There's tons more that I'll add later.
Does anyone else have any quotes they've said that have sounded like Shawn or Gus or even quotes from their own Psych stories they'd like to share?
