We seem to have a battle going on between posters, feelings are getting hurt, shippers are being slammed, negative comments are being taken too literally and rather than seeing this as a series being performed by actors the actors are being seen as real people.

Having been here for a few years now I've been in the middle of some heated debates, most recently with a poster who was using this forum as a platform to get Natalie kicked off the series and replaced. Well, we all know it probably won't happen and I'm not going to get embroiled in that ancient debate again.

What happens, and this is just my instinctive side taking over; if you post a positive thught, it gets read and then it gets forgotten within a matter of minutes. If you post a negative it is never forgotten, anyone who doesn't agree will remember it for EVER! It will keep coming back to haunt you by anyone who doesn't agree. If you put these posters on 'ignore' someone is going to quote them and their words are going to be repeated over and over again and not allowed to die a natural death and that 'quote' feature won't let a negative thought disappear.

When the actors in the series began to be seen as 'real people' we put our own personal thoughts into their acting and their character. For example, how many times have you read "Adrian/Natalie/Leland/Randy wouldn't do/think/act" like that? These actors become our friends, our family and we talk about and think about them as real people. That is what the writers want us to do, it endears the series to us and keeps us coming back week after week to watch.

So what I'm trying to say is this: Make your posts, be they positive, negative or questioning, they are your thoughts and if someone disagrees with what you say and tries to make a 'war' out of it don't feel you have to keep going back and justifying what you feel - it just fans the flames for the 'flamers.' State how you feel and if someone wants to debate how you feel in a conversational way go ahead and debate but if someone decides to put you down because of how you feel don't feed them with a response, you don't need to justify your opinions nor do you need to keep repeating them in thread after thread. If a flamer follows you around, post around them, you've already stated your feeling or opinion.

No one on this forum is better than any of the other posters, no one persons opinion is better than any other persons, and that includes mine.

I hope this is seen by all and taken in the positive way I intended it to be read.

kees/Sue

Very good post. Although, I really don't need to tell you. Voice your opinion and if, someone disagrees with it. so be it. I don't need to respond, I've already said my piece and I'm ready to move on.........on to the next wonderful episode of MONK.
:::::::::clinking glass with Sue:::::::::

I very much agree with your post too, Kees. The only thing I'd say is that the actors in this show are very very real....it's the characters that aren't real people. I think that's where the confusion you're talking about is taking place. I know what you meant.

I agree also Kees...We are a community of individuals...not everyone is going to see things eye to eye but we have the capablity to say what we feel...and it's a great thing.

I am glad to be a part of this community and respect others opinions as they are...

Yes, you are right, respect for others even in disagreement should be the bottom line.

What a perfect thread to say something that I love about the Monk character!! I just love how Monk is always respectful to the bad guys in the show... he never puts them down etc. even when they like call him names like soft-serve or crazy or are so mean to him like the astronaut character was...he is always respectful and caring to all!! O.K. I know he jumped across the table at the horrible DJ and maybe some other instances of extreme circumstances, but you know what I mean...he is always very nice to all!! So the character of Monk is a good example for us all to follow!!!!

Yes...never thought about how Monk takes the ribbing but stays civil...he's the Man!

I agree. I hadn't thought of that, but we could all follow Monk's example.

How true! I never thought about that before. And that episode about the DJ was a major exception. I wanted to smash through the TV and kill the guy myself for saying those things about Trudy, so Adrian was right to lose control like that.

Andrea

I have had a couple of PM's which concern me. It seems we have a couple posters who have stated their opinions on the writing, the series, the quality of the acting and anything else negative they can think of and not often have they said anything positive about the series, the acting or the writing. Not only have they stated it once but they are continuing to repeat themselves in various threads. This is breeding more negativity and is going to lead into another battle.

There is no need to keep making the same negative points over and over again. We got the message the first time around. If you really can't find anything positive to say then why stay here? This is a fan forum, if you can't be a fan who enjoys the series you don't belong here.

I'm personally tired of wading through repeated negative posts on the same subject and it seems so are quite a few others. Now we have more fans who are thinking of dropping out of this forum. If we are fans let's be a community of fans. If the show is so negative to these posters who find it blech in the acting, writing and quality of the stories and mysteries it would be my opinion they have no reason to be here other then to bring attention to themselves so they can make themselves the center of attention.

Please, let's be fans of the series and stop thinking we can do a better job producing, writing and developing the characters.

Amen.

A BIG AMEN FOR ME TOO!!!!!

I agree with this -- there is a place for constructive criticism and discussion of things that might be troublesome-- but when you look at a poster's comments and there is nothing BUT complaints and criticism -- and they cannot even factually support their own assertions, they really get on your nerves.

I would like to suggest that the people who are thinking about leaving do one of two things instead -- either take a short break (I can't imagine that a lot of these people will stay for long. They don't seem to like Monk -- why would they?) Or maybe those of us who are part of this community should just start putting the negative posters on ignore. They seem to keep talking hoping to convince all of us that Monk is just terrible -- and they're not happy if they don't have the last word. If we don't argue with them, maybe they'll go away.

I'm really not normally this way -- I like welcoming newbies and seeing more people come in. But if all they really want to do is tear apart Monk --they're in the wrong place. I'd rather see them go than any of the regular members of our friendly little online community.

Maybe we should all cut and paste the following as a stock answer, and post it after the argumentative, negative comments:

"Oh, wow -- considering you seem to hate Monk so much, maybe you'll be leaving the message board soon? "

But then I guess I would be considered as trying to 'police the board'. But you know, this is not really censorship -- since no one would really be taking their freedom of speech away. It is only allowing us to exercise our own first ammendment rights by saying that we disagree.

Anyway -- just a thought.

Very good BfloGal!! The people that tear Monk apart, I don`t know why they even watch the show. With fans like this, Tony needs no enemies.

I have to say, I must respectfully disagree. You seem to be saying that you cannot be a fan of the show and write anything negative about it, because a true fan wouldn't do that. Therefore, anyone who does must not be what you consider a fan. First of all, what you deem "negative" may not be to someone else. Second, this is a PUBLIC forum. As long as posters conduct themselves in a respectful manner, ALL OPINIONS should be welcome, even those you disagree with. I enjoy the show yet I can see the flaws and STILL enjoy it. You may not like what I or other posters have to say about MONK, and that's your right.

But where do you get off (and any other poster, quite frankly,) in telling ANYONE who's comments you don't agree with that they don't belong here? If I want to write that the first two eppys stunk to high heaven, and post it in numerous threads, I or anyone else, can do so. And if you or anyone else wants to write that the first two eppys were the best thing since the invention of the wheel, and post it numerous times, you can do so too. It's called freedom of speech and expression.

Hey, I've got to say, the USA ignore feature is pretty spiffy!

I just checked it out -- and all you have to do is click on the user name of the person you want to ignore, and go to their profile. Then under profile options, you can choose to ignore them. I was a little hesitant to do this earlier. I was worried how it might affect some of the games, but it's really nice.

When you get to the post of someone you've ignored, it replaces the post with a reminder that you've ignored them, and gives you the option of viewing the post or un-ignoring them.

The board is already beginning to look like the friendlier place I know and love.

Thanks, USA!

Be careful, Kees, someone might start calling you a USA Network employee ...

LOL But didn't you know Tami, I'm the major stock owner with all kinds of rights...I also own a bridge and some ocean front desert property I could sell you...interested?

Yes, and an excellent employee she would be.

Why thank you quinfran...if only I were

Yes, Kees, you'd make an excellent employee--fair-minded, objective, polite, non-confrontational, and level-headed. Go ahead--use me as a reference, any time!

Hey all,
First of all I am sure you all know that I love this Monk board, it is by far the best I have ever encountered and I think the people are great even when we are squabbling about something.
Everyone of course is entitled to their opinion and I actually enjoy reading everyones different views on the show, characters ,etc. I must say though if there is something really negative you feel you must say about Monk , do so and let it go at that. Of course you are going to get all kinds of responses and that is where the trouble begins. Dont let it take over and become a debate. There are too many good things about Monk to enjoy !! Cant we all just get along ? Yeah, I know, that is a loaded question. I stiill think you all are the best !!

Love to you all,
~Sal

MONK: If you thought I was good before, wait until you see this.

The only reason I haven't left this board is because there are too many people here I like too much (you of course Sal, Kees/BfloGal/yvette/history08, quinfran, etc, etc). I am still trying to decide if I am wasting my time staying on the board because I am here to share in my love for Monk, not tear the show apart and enter into a war of words with other posters who can't be nice. I am not the only "regular" who has left the board or taken a break from the board so I know I am not alone in feeling this way.

And yes BfloGal I agree with you - the ignore button is a beautiful thing.

I've been missing you on this board, and if I bear any responsibility for you taking a break, please tell me. Also, please note: I am not in this one. lol. I'm only seeing a half or a third of a confrontation here but I know I can get all upset and so I'm taking all the great advice I received last time. I think I almost got into it by accident. That was too close. Phew! Are you going to be at the chat this week? We were all looking for you and missing you in there last Friday. Pretty please?

Hey Hello,
I've said that before, but I'll say it again: Monk board is one of the most interesting things I have in my life. I come here almost every day. I miss this board when I don't have the chance to check it.
The only reason why I decided to be part of it was (and is) the great love I have for the show and the actors (especially Tony Shalhoub).
So, love brought me here. I thought this was the right way to express my admiration, respect and support for the show. I wanted to be another one who could be joined to the millions of fans Monk has. I was worried the show could be cancelled, so I thought, maybe by doing this, I could help a little bit, being one more, like a soldier defending a precious land.
So, when I come here, I expect to meet people joined by the same love. And with love, other beautiful things certainly comes together: sweetness, gentleness, smiles, friendship, joy, inteligence, generosity, compreension, patience...I'm sure Adrian Monk is a character who evokes all this.
Yes, we can desagree, but I guess we should never forget what brought us here.
Let's stay together and enjoy the show!

Sal,
You really said it for me. I love this board and I have really enjoyed getting to know everyone. I like how we support and help one another at times. I also enjoy the individualism and discussions, and I think its okay to express negative or unpopular thoughts. We don't have to react to them.
As you said, we can all get along.
Kathy

No way are your responsible yvette, trust me. I won't be there at chat Friday, you guys have fun.

When will you be able to be at the Friday chats again?

Thank you very much, I was kind of putting my heart on the line there. I work with so many people of different personalities, temperments and lifestyles, and they are very different from me and the way I live, but I love working with all of them and try to put aside my differences for awhile. I apply that same attitude here on the Monk board . Luv it here. Monk brought us all together and I am gratefull for that.

Please dont go MJ !! No No No

I hope you don`t leave the board! We love you here! I always enjoy your very thoughtful and kind post.

This is a beautiful post! I think everyone knows, I also have a great love for the show, and like you, for Tony Shalhoub. Your statememt, "like a soldier defending a precious land", well, that is how I feel too!

I feel the same way. I am 95% sure that I could not have put the words together like this. Thanks for the post!

Thank you, quinfran. So, we have one more soldier for Monk! That's great!
Hugs.

[quote name='Monkster100' date='Jul 31 2008, 07:28 PM' post='924819']
I feel the same way. I am 95% sure that I could not have put the words together like this. Thanks for the post!


My pleasure, Monkster100. By the wy, I love your username, really creative
Hugs

I am proud to be a soldier in the Monk Army! Hugs back to you!



Anna

Oh yeah!

And, if y'all want a all out fun time & FOREVER P A RTTTYYyyyy! hop on "The Bus"

B.
Off to the MMMTB thread.