Welcome to The Soap Box Bar, Grill and lounge.

We all have crazieness in our lives. And who better to tell it to than the robotic bartenders and casual easedroppers here in this quaint little tavern.

I built the place, brick by brick, because I bought a shirt today. A good shirt. It's brown and long sleeved and I call it my Monk shirt - and it makes me look good too.

So you think it would be a good day, right? But no. My life is like a Felinni Film. I'm starting to consult my dream dictionary to get the 'meaning' behind the odd things that just keep happening to me while I'm awake.

One of my neighbors, not as close as Bob was, but still a nice lady from down the road passed away a while back. My grandmother alternates between missing her and trying to corner her heirs to buy her washer and dryer.

While in the pursuit of the washer/dryer my Gran sent me down to the house today where they had a large, long dumpster full of household discardables. My gran thought they might be throwingout 'something good' but it was all the sad things from a persons life, you know? Christmas decorations, pictures in broken frames, stacks of 'important' papers than no one will ever look at again.

A whole, long, dumpster full.

And I saw something shiny under a stack of throw rugs. After I fished it out it turns out to be a cool music box/jewlery box. Made in italy, flowers inlaid on the top.

I kept it, naturally. A nice little reminder of the woman we used to exchange cookies with on Christmas.

But no one was home, so I'll have to try and wrangle the washer and dryer tomorrow.

My really cool flat screen monitor went bad this week, and I stck on a bulky, clunky white monitor from the grarge - but my whole computer system is black - so it looked really out of place. But today I went to a thrift store that had something like 10 monitors and so I bought a black one to match - for Two dollars.

I thought for sure it was probably broken or something but appearantly, the price for working monitors that look good with my computer is in all actuality $1.99.

My aunt called last night. She's a horrible person and I dont like her, but her office is closing and she's losing her job. So I feel bad for her, good that the karma is real, bad about smiling about her misfortune...

Let me explain: Last year, on June 19th my grandfather died. Twelve hours later on June 20th my aunt stood there and told me she was a self made woman and my grandfather never helped her at all.

He put her through 6 years of college.
He sold her her house up north at a $100,000.00 discount.
He got her her current job almost 20 years ago - in the same field he spent his life in - working for a friend of his.

And that's only what I know about off the top of my head.

Now, this year... All the things he gave her are drying up around her.

She owed $80,000 on the house when she bought it, but she took trips, bought jewelry and now she owes more than the house is worth. Without a job, she can not make the payments.

The job dried up, and although he could have gotten her a new one with a phone call, he's gone.

And now it's time to put her money where her mouth is and be that self made woman for real.

That's why you dont talk bad about Papa. Not ever. For real. He did his best for everyone far more often than most folks could expect. And I do suspect she ticked off the powers that be by throwing that 'poor little mis-treated me' routine of hers where she insulted everyone in the room and stormed out to catch her plane home.

I know I dont want the universe overhearing me saying anything so crass.

I had to pack an expensive camera lens today. It came from a little thrift shop down south for ten dollars and it's going to Spain at a ver nice mark-up.

But I dig that. Spanish pictures will happen because I figured out how to shop for a profit as a hobby. I dont know, there's something in there to like, isnt there?

Oh, lol. <sigh> And my mothers boyfriend is out of jail. We dont want him here, havent seen him, and they've been arguing and fighting since he got out. So, really, no susprises there. All according to plan.

Belive me - if the people who sent you to jail are also the ones who come to pick you up - you might be a redneck.

You know, a bar this nice makes me wish I drank.

-M

I took the bus home, yesterday, when a groups of girls sat in the back screaming their heads off. At one point acting as if one of them was injured. Every once in a while one of the three would look towards the front of the bus and say, Sorry. What? If they were so 'sorry' about being loud and annoying, why did they continue. And it's only the beginning of summer. If this thread keeps up you'll hear a lot of my 'bus stories', I have a million of them.

We got a letter today saying we'd be getting our rebate check by the end of the week.

Could have skipped the warning and just sent the check, don't you think?

Try and enjoy the peace and quiet while you can Bubba. It'll be back on soon enough.

-M

LMAO!! I;ll have to remember that, I know some people to whom this could apply.

Well just be thankful you're getting the rebate checks. I didn't earn enough last year to meet the wage requirements and my SSI doesn't count. I did get a nice homestead check so it's not all bad.

Speaking of bills, I pay my mortgage company which includes my condo insurance and property taxes, my condo fee and cable bill, sans cable extras; my daughter is paying for my phone and DSL so I can call 911 if I fall or can't breathe, that leaves me $19.00 a month to live on. Thankfully I get food stamps and medical assistance. My van is a '93, '94, '95 mixture of parts, both body and engine; the drivers door is bolted shut because the inside lock broke, not the one you turn with a key but the other one that holds the door shut and the rearview mirror is missing, it's an adventure to take it out on the streets. I chew lots of bubble gum to hold the body together. I dodge phone calls to avoid the credit card collectors, they just don't have any understanding of how a person can be working 40 hours a week with perfect credit then get sick and can't work anymore and now have no credit. We've had some really interesting conversations of late on how to turn $19.00 into a million bucks so I can pay them the interest due - I've told them all I'm willing to live on the street if they'll buy me the tent and camp stove.

Hey, nice bartender, pour me another cola and I'll tell ya another chapter of my miserable life only this time would ya add a little cherry juice?

This is the coolest idea I've seen come through here in a very long time. I don't drink but I don't mind sitting at the bar, running my mouth, and trying to pick up dudes.



This is classic. rofl! Are you sure you aren't from PA?

Hi, M! and all others too!

I was a bit down today morning (I am no a morning person) and decided not to open my computer - too much of virtuality?
I am not sure. But my throat is aching, so its hard to speak.
Anyhow after all I opened my machine later and here I am. And then I found this and remembered why I am used to be here.

What a nice bar you have built mr M! I liked it very much. And robotic bartenders don´t get tired, you can keep it open allways.

Anyhow I live usually quite a dull life, always cleaning, food shopping, children etc. The most exciting thing in the day is to decide what to cook for a dinner, well, at least sometimes.

So I am not a big drinker nowadays. I am not also a totally sober person, although a beer or two now and then is enough for me. But last weekend I went to the party. A old friend of mine graduated (he finished his university) and he had party because of that. So I went there, drank, had a good time. Until it happened, as sometimes happens, when people drank. Another friend of mine became jeolous and got mad. She yelled to her man and called one woman names. This women got mad and threatens to call police or something. I began to defend my friend and when the other woman has left I used also some nasty words about her. Something very crass. I am not proud of myself and I think it just happened because of alcohol. Next day I called to the friend, whose home we all were, and heard that everything was all right, nobody hadn´t call anywhere, and drinking went on.

That is nice to hear. All is well again and show goes on. And I began to think, that all this drinking, drinking a lot -issue, is not worthy of that. I had a headache and a bad conscience about it.

I am happy, when I have got rid of it. I haven´t drunk much for years, but it is not unfamiliar thing to me. Earlier I used to spend my time in bars, social drinking as I called it. My ex-boyfriend was an alcoholic. So I saw and heard all kind of things that drinking caused. Some people died for drinking. My ex-boyfriend died later (I wasn´t with him anymore) because of alcohol, poisoned alcohol.
Like from Bukowski.

So I noticed that I haven´t really missed anything at all, when this "social drinking" of mine has ceased.
If there doesn´t happen nowadays so much to me, in those days happened more. Good that the whole home of us didn´t burn down because of smoking in drunk. So so so silly way of living.


But I don´t deny, a nice bar like this make me feel like have a drink or two...
But maybe, after all these drinking talks, I take only one nice nonalcohol colourfully drink.





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As soon as I read that, I LMAO! I immediately thought of my favorite Johnny Cash song:



My favorite car was my '89 Nissan Sentra. I ended up putting 4 starters and 3 flywheels in it. The starter ground out the flywheel, which ground out the starter, which ground out the flywheel.... Twice I changed both at the same time, thinking that would fix it--nope.

It was a four door. Get this: The right rear door wouldn't open from the inside or the outside. The left rear would open from the outside but not from the inside. The front passenger side would open from the inside but not the outside. And the driver's side door--thank God--would open from the inside and the outside. If it had to be only one door out of four, thank God it was the driver's door. rofl.

Then I developed an electrical problem that stumped every single garage and backyard mechanic I took it to--the windshield wipers would go on without being switched on. You'd be driving down the road with not a raindrop in sight and they would just start wiping. Get this--(and I have absolutely NO idea how I ever figured this out, but...) the only way to turn the wipers off WAS TO TURN ON THE HEAT. Bad news in July and August. Believe it or not, I really did love that car. It never stranded me anywhere and really didn't owe me anything when it finally died.

As I'm reading about your car, I'm thinking "Oh that poor woman" at the same time, I'm laughing so hard, tears are running down my face. I currently have a '94 Ford Windfart. Brakes are shot. Me and my neighbor are putting in new brakes today, but right now I hit the brakes and the whole van shakes. Only once in my life was I able to get a new car--the rest have been deathmobiles. Oh, I sooooooooo feel your pain.


Added: Forgot about this Oldsmobile we owned in the late '70s. The gear shift had it's own special charm. Let's see, P really didn't have a function. R was Park. D was Reverse. D1 was regular drive. Ahhh, the classics.

Added: ROFL!! We had an old Dodge in the early '70s back in Suffield Ohio--I don't remember the model because I think we had it a week. My mother, broke, bought this thing for $50. Then she drove onto a set of railroad tracks and something fell out of the car---THE A-FRAME! I sh** you not! It fell out right onto the tracks!

Added: ROFL! Oh my God--you're making me have flashbacks to every deathmobile we ever owned. My stepfather had a '76 Ford Maverick. Three melon-sized holes in the floor in the back. So there's us three kids in the back seat with our feet up--a hole for each of us, and my mother looking back, calm as hell, and saying "don't stick your feet in the holes." So we're all just absolutely terrified, feet in the air, watching the road FLYING through these rusted out holes in the floor, knowing if we accidentally touched a toe through one of them, the road would rip our legs right off. Ah, childhood....and really dangerous automobiles.....oh, and parents with no money and really really really poor judgement. ROFL!

I don't want to say it comforts me to know that I am not the only one struggling financially (and in about every other area of life) because it isn't comfort. But I guess it's comforting knowing that I am in good company who understands each other's difficulties. I am just sorry there is so much difficulty in life!

M - your family sounds so much like mine. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure we must be related somehow because I swear you were describing my grandmother. There are too many people who want to live their lives covered in drama. I am not one of those people. Just leave me be in my own little world please.

Ooh, if I start talking about my family, I'd be the only one in the bar. I mean, Norm wouldn't even want to come in here. rofl. At least I'm trying to space out my flashbacks.

I had a friend named Mike who was driving home from my house in his Alliance convertable. He hit an enormous florida puddle that spashed his car so bad it got the computer - which shorted out the oil pump and made it catch fire - a fire which eventually engulphed eough of the car that we never aw it again.

But yeah, he hit a normal old puddle, caught fire and spent the rest of the day wishing he had marshmellows at the side of the road.

-M

It's funny you mention this because yesterday I got a letter in the mail from GM warning me that if my car became flooded the air bag may inflate, causing injury. I could not help but think if my car flooded, the air bag was probably the last of my concerns, i.e. my car could catch fire like what you described above.

OMG. Oh, and do you remember the old distributors with points? You'd hit a puddle and just stop? Now that's a really handy little feature on high speed roads. At that point, you're a speed bump to anything bigger than you are. rofl. I can't even count how many times I had to push a heap of a car off the road in the rain and pop the hood, then stand huddled in the downpour with the distributor cap off, rag in hand, trying to get the points dried off. Managed to do it a few times. Most of the time, it's an exercise in futility.

There I stood on a cold, dark, wet back road somewhere, just chanting my mantra: My life sucks, my life sucks, my life sucks....

Most of my roadside conversations went a little something like this:
*^%# *& )&&!!^%$ (&!!?!^% Ford (*& *!!?^%$$# (&^$ ((*&^%$ Dodge ((&^@! ^#^&( &^%$ )*&^%

Aaahh...I love this place. You can just vent and stuff. It's a place where everyone knows your name (No, wait, that's Cheers... )

So, anyway, I'm an only child and definantly, you may be suprised by this, but a bit on the recluse side. I sound strange but I would much rather go see a movie with my parents than I would with my friends. I don't know why. My friend who lives in my neighborhood has been coming over all the time asking if I wanted to hang out with her and I kept telling her no simply because "I don't feel like it today." My mum keeps suggesting I go hang out with my friends and I tell her no. She says she doesn't want to be the mother to an anti-social daughter. But, it's my life, right? If I want to be a hermit that's my own choice, she shouldn't be bothered by it. In fact, she should be happy that I'd rather be at home with my parents.

Just, my probelem is, I've been around my parents too long that as much as I hate to admit it, I'm way too mature for my years. I've already developed the personality of an old lady who sits on her porch all day and calls the cops on kids who cut across her front lawn. I'm far more dry, sarcastic and paranoid than any teenager should be.

Oh and speaking of me being paranoid, you wouldn't believe a dream I had last night. I dreamed that someone on this Monk Message Board was a pedophile and then they tracked me down and started hunting after me. Seriously. I woke up and discovered it was just a dream, but I tell ya, I was still scared to log on here this morning.

So, there I added my two cents for the day. Don't worry, I should be back later if I find more things to complain about, which trust me, I will.

!chik!

Well, I am glad to have a place to vent one's frustrations in one's life. I myself am not going through as much of the money woes as others have posted. I am surviving. We have lived in our house for 7 years now and now there are things that need to be repaired. We've had a crack in our basement wall since we started living here and hasn't been fixed. I've been after the husband to call and get it repaired. He finally made the call last week. Now we have to wait 2 weeks for someone to come and give an estimate. I will be glad to have it fixed. When we have some serious downpours it leaks in. It tends to leave a musty smell in the basement and I don't like to go down there. Other things are that the tile we have that covers most floors is scratched and ugly. I wanted wood flooring. But because of vet bills and stuff all extra cash is gone for this year. We had to put our cat down last December and our dog has had some problems. Right now we can only deal with the leak. Our savings is depleated and any extra that we have left over is going on debt reduction. If I was much younger I would take on another job but my health has not been all that great lately and now I don't know if I can handle one job. Sometimes I wonder if I peed off the big man for some reason and that my health is something I took advantage of and he wanted me to feel that it can be taken away. Well, I did learn that lesson and now he can move on to someone else. I guess I am glad to have someone to be with to share my life with but it does bother me that this could continue to go on and on or something else bad could happen. I just hope that good fortune smiles on us and my friends here on the Monk board. We all deserve happiness ...don't we?

OMG I was like you at your age! (did that make any sense??) I was always way ahead of my years. When I was 15 I felt like I should already be 35. I still feel like I have lived a lot longer than 33 years. And I hated it because I was say something about feeling older than my years and my friends would all say "oh shut up you are only 16". They never understood what I felt. My brother, who is almost 16, is the same exact way as you. When he talks to someone he usually goes over their head. He has been ranked as a genius so he "suffers" from the usual stuff genuises suffer from. I can relate to him because I tested at that level as a teenager as well, but most people do not "get" him. Maybe the two of you should talk, you would probably get him.

Don't worry - it was just a bad dream. It's all good here in Monkland!

Yes we all deserve happiness!! Things are constantly going wrong in our lives so I guess the best we can do is handle each situation as it occurs and come here to vent about them.

I like this place. We understand each other.

Well i don't like to moan but considering this is a sort of "letting off steam" establishment it's okay to have a little mumble, right?

Anyway today has been fine, except it rained far too much and i woke up in a really big panicky rush.

I hate being rushed thats one of the most annoying things to me!! I don't go really slow i just like to go at my own pace, i mean is that too much to ask for?! When i have time to do things in my own way at my own pace then i'm more relaxed and balanced but if i'm rushed i go all over the place and freak out, i stress and worry and it's just not good.

I also like to stay in sometimes, especially these past few weeks because no one else is out because they have exam revision and coursework, whereas i've finished mine, so there isn't really anything for me to do, and since i saw the episode of MONK "Mr Monk and 12th Man" i really don't even want to think about going to the cinema on my own for fear of being strangled by someone behind me....sounds stupid but really, I just find the prospect of going in there in the dark all alone totally terrifiying!!!!

Also I really hate being scared of everything, it drives me insane!!

Anyway i think i'm done.

....Pinkie....

Try the back row. Off to one of the sides is best. And pepper-spray is sold in keychain form - for when you're old enough to buy it. But I am right - about the back row. (Off to the sides. You can see anyone coming.)

-M

Tami gets up on a barstool, hooks her cane on the back of the chair, and puts her elbows on the bar ... "'Scuse me, RoboBarkeep?"

"Whirr, click, click, beep?"

"Corona, no lime, tall glass, lo foam, thanks."

"Beep, whirr, click, click."

"Six-fifty? Man, I should buy a gallon and a half of gas, instead!"

Click, click."

"Okay, okay. Hey, do you know who owns that black Ford Excursion out front? The one parked in the handicap space. They don't have a handicap placard or plates."

"Click, whirr, beep, beep."

"Well, I know it's not your fault, I was just asking who owns the SUV." Robobartender nods toward a couple in a booth. It's not readily apparent if either the man or woman has a handicap that justifies parking in the handicap space. Tami slides off the barstool and walks over to the couple in the booth. "'Scuse me."

"What?" the man asks.

"Is that your Excursion parked in the handicapped spot?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"You forgot to put up your handicap placard."

"I don't have a handicap placard."

"Then are you handicapped?" Tami asks the woman in the booth.

"No, you must be joking." Tami glares at the woman. "Oh, here," the woman says as she reaches into her purse and pulls out an expired handicap placard. "Be a dear and put this in the car," she says to her companion, handing him the placard. She giggles softly as she says: "It was my Grandpa's. I kept it after he died."

"Oh, no. Allow me, please," Tami says and snatches the placard from the woman. "I guess you are handicapped ..." mentally ...

Tami pays her tab at the bar and walks out. Outside, from the vicinity of the handicap parking space a loud crash of broken glass is heard.

The man and woman rush out of the bar to the Ford Excursion parked in the handicap parking space. Grandpa's expired handicap placard is hanging from the rearview mirror ...

Okay, I didn't actually smash the windshield ...

lol. Well atleast I know I'm not the only one.

!chik!

Right, so for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It's physics I think, right?

Well, Nancy, who passed away, had a washer and dryer that my grandmother was trying to aquire. And she did so. I can go get them tomorrow around 11 in the morning.

And there was much rejoycing, as Nancy's daughters had heard enough of my Grandmother to know she and Nancy were friends and they eveen gave her the washer and dryer for free - even though we offered to pay for them.

So we were having a nice, relaxed day when My Mother - yes, I've mentioned her before now havent I - well she 'needs' our car tomorrow - to take her jailbird boyfriend over to daytona to see his probation officer. She argued and cajoled until my grandmother agreed and then announced she would be there at 11 - in the morning - to get the car.

Now, the only reason my Gran wanted the washer and dryer was to pick between her set and the other to give one to my Mom - you know, in an effort to stop her from bringing her laundry here week after week and making my 82 year old grandmother do her, her boyfriend and her roomates clothes.

So my grandmother told her about the machines and asked when she could take them.

The answer was: Soon, but not now, so they'll just have to sit in the garage. But see if you can get me a dresser some throw rugs, some...

And the list went on.

How am I descended from this person? I mean, did she realize we're not grave robbers out for some quick profit here?

Anyone else recall the sceen where Scrooge sees his future with people selling his stuff when he was dead? Creepy, right? The vulture-like nature of it all?

And in the middle of the list my mother says "And who was it who died again?"

To which my Gran replied "Nancy! Nancy S!"

And the reply? "Oh, wow, Nancy died?"

It was only the second time she had been told.

"But I do really need a dresser and a..."

<shakes head>

What do you do with that? Where do you even start?

You know?

-M

Double Post, forum foul, I know. It would serve me right if someone came in and left all my things 'askew' so I had to straiten them later.

But I want to talk abou the auction!

Jerry Seinfeld once said on his show somethng close to "This is what I like - people being helped by people who arent me!"

And I could agree, not because I dodge helping as he wished to in that episode. But because I am constantly trying to help out someone, somehow, and there isnt a lot of that in my family anymore, especially sisnce my grandfather passed away.

And a lot of people really couldnt care less about helping people - and I think that's because they never got the help they needed, or never needed any at all.

But I've been there, frequently when younger, and helping is totally not about the people doing the helping, it's about the folks getting the help.

And this Imus Ranch sounds like a place with little bald headed sick children are toughig it out as best they can. And while our donation might just be a drop in the bucket for thier annual budget... Think about which drop it could become.

It could become a gameboy for a kid who hopelessly needs a distraction. It could be a week or a months worth of food. It could be more medicine than they thought they could afford this month. Or just enough that maybe they can swing that one thing they always thought they could use in the lab, you know?

I mean, I helped out my neighbor with his Lukemia when it was at its worst. But that help only went a few feet and stopped, you know? It lasted a few days, a few moments, but now it's just blended in to Bob and the things he does on a daily basis while enjoying his remission.

But this is different. We're giving money to PROFESSIONAL HELPERS who specialize in life and death struggles taking place in CHILDREN.

It's like we're sending out money, our 'help' in to an amplifier - and when it finally cycles through it's going to come out with a range we never could have dreampt of.

It's exciting, isnt it?

Now, I saw as of this morning that there were some items left without bids. And I'm 'all in' as I said before - and I raised my bids and bid on a new item too.

So, really, I think I'm diong my part. But what I want to know is this: Arent there any people out there who want in on this experience too? People who could afford a Bookmark, One of Liv's Portraits, Some Jewelry, or maybe you've only got two bucks to rub together - Police Tape. Keep folks off the lawn, or tape up your neighbors door before he gets home from work and watch the fun, right? Only $2.

So, come on... I know you want 'something' maybe some of you would be happy with 'anything', right? Well we've got a littl bit of both left and I for one would love to hear that this auction was a blow-out, would you? That every ounce of energy we tried to give up went out through that amplifier and in to those kids where it could be recieved and then percieved in how thier lives might have gotten just a little bit better?

And on top of that wonderful natural high right there - They mail you what you've won! It's like doing Gods work - for valulable gifts and prizes! If the chuch had this and a big spinny prize wheel I'm sure all those sunday morning preacher shows would skyrocket in popularity!

But you get it, right? You heard me?

This is your last chance to get in on something Really, Really special, and you get to do it - with your Monk Family. Now really, how sweet is that?

-M

I can't tell you how many times I asked that question about my sister. I still refuse to believe she is actually blood related to me. I have tried disowning her so many times. You just can't choose your family unfortunately.

I see this in my family and my husband's family. His is his sister. Always in need of money for something. As I tell him, is she asking for a loan or just a donation to Poor so so fund. This last request was last week. She is asking us and other brother to GIVE her 500 bucks for gas because she took a job that is on the other side of town (she lives in a large town) and it's killing her on gas. The only reason is that she is demanding it is so she can pay her back mortgage payments so she will be caught up. I asked my husband if she ever intends to pay any of the money we have given her back or has she made any allowances to adjust this extra expense that she was well aware of when she took this job. I have given up telling him to let her learn the lesson of self sufficient. I would die first before I would ask my parents for a loan...never! I asked too much when I was growing up and as a college student but I was determined to live as an independant person. Some will never learn so why bother...I just tell him that she has the pin number for the "XYZ" Bank...she doen't have to ask she just takes! Enough said.

That reminds me of this one girl I used to be really close friends with. At school she would ask me to buy her things and she promised she would pay me back. Now, I've been to her house and she is definantly not the richest person around so I generously bought her some things at lunch. And even though she promised to pay me back, she never did. I asked her about it and she said "Oh! Sorry! I forgot." Which may very well be the case, but still, just because my house is bigger than hers, and I have more of a variety of clothes to wear, that doesn't mean I'm rich. I'm not rich at all. In fact, we're almost poor! But, stil every day she made me spend way too much lunch money buying her things and then kept "forgetting" to pay me back. Now, I don't know, but when I PROMISE to pay someone back I do it. So, yeah, you can't really trust anyone with your money I guess.

!chik!

This is a great thread. Chik - a friend told me once that her father told her (mine never gave me any good advice) that when you loan something you have to be willing to never see it again. I sometimes think about that.

But I came to the bar tonight because I figure that all of you good buddies would take cared of me if I get, well you know, under the influence so to speak. Its not that I have been drinking.

I have been eating out of a whipped cream can - I didn't want to waste it and we're moving next week.

I wanted to see how much is in a can - and its a lot. And I thought if a little is good, more would be better. And now I have a belly ache. There are two more cans in the fridge. Its not that great of an idea to shop at Sam's club.

So if I get really sick, will someone hold my head?

Next: An enormous bag of frozen meatballs!

Ah, your friends father is wise one.

Whipped cream straight out of a can? Good deal. You should try to drink chocolate syrup straight out of the bottle. Not only is it a five minute energy drink it tastes great!

!chik!

Step... AWAY ... from the frozen meatballs. You've got nothnig to prove here now, really... let's just end this whole thing before anyone gets hurt any worse, okay?

So we can all just put down our guns... wait... Meatballs?

Then what am I talking about?

MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!

-M

P.S. - (not really. save yourself before it's too late!)

Hey! You're supposed to yell at me to stop! Thank goodness I don't have any chocolate syrup. But I do have two more cans of whipped cream.

Hmmmm.
Slides off the chair and takes a step toward the fridge.
Hmmmm.
Whistles a little.
Leans on the door. How bad could it get?

Somebody Stop ME!

I believe I once heard of a way to stop yourself from eating two cans of whipped cream... Oh, I think you leave the can in the upright position, discharge the nitrious inside without releasing the cream...

Wait. I think those were the instructions for something else entirely. You're military, right? Just shoot the cans!

<smirk>

-M

ROFLOL out loud

I would but they might be watching.

ROFL!
Geeee... for sure I chose the right board!!!

tks for another needed laugh, and please go on on your rescue to Monkophile1...I would help you, but my freezed legs do not allow me to stand up... no, monkophile1, you do not need to come over to de-frost it. Yes, I am sure....


Mi

<M passes a cup of hot chocolate with ten little marshmellows to Mi> Try and stay warm!

Mi stretches her hand to the chocolate cup, and hands to -M a paper with numbers 92 to 96.
"100 things..." She is able to say before plunges on the hot chocolate cup with ten little marshmallows on it.


Mi

You guys are sitting at the bar eating frozen meatballs and canned whipped cream? What did I miss? I take it there's no live band tonight. Okay, look, just put down the whipped cream. It's not worth it. You can get past this. You're strong. Think of your family. How would they ever make it without you? Look, just put down the whipped cream and kick it over to me....

Suddenly Adrianna wake up to her surrounding. She has played go-game with one of rob bartenders, which wasn´t very good in it, by the way.
- Whipped cream without nitrious and big cups of chocolate! Mmmmmmmmmmm..... Monkophile1, don´t be so sure about chocolate syrup, I am sure that I saw a big bottle of it. Ask for the robots!
I prefer rum syrup. Have anybody seen any hazelnut ice cream anywhere?

- This paper looks familiar to me, 100 things, which we....





- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You guys can keep all your hot chocolate. Right now, I really need something COLD. I'm burning up here.

!chik!

Too bad you don't have the chocolate syrup AND whipped cream. Those two would be perfect together!! I once ate an entire box of mini Oreos in one sitting. I was sick all night, but it was worth it. Yes I'm a chocoholic. And darn proud of it.

yay! I'm a chocoholic too! I could eat nothing but chocolate all day and all night. Hee-hee. They should have a rehabilitation clinic for chocoholics! I'm not even kidding either!
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Okay, so I was at the bookstore yesterday and saw a book in the "Humor" section about "How To Be A Dysfunctional Parent" it was so funny. And most of the stuff sounded like things I'd probably do as a parent so my dad says once I get married and get pregnant he'll get that for me. lol. It was pretty funny. It had what teachers say on the kids' report cards and what they really mean.

These are the two things my teachers have called me: Energetic and Charming.

And according to the book, this is what they really meant:

Energetic=In need of medication.

Charming=The next Charles Manson

Thought I'd share it with you. It was pretty funny.

!chik!

But in order to go to a rehab center that would mean we'd have to admit we have a problem. I don't see chocolate as a problem. Do you?

Nope.

!chik!

Chocolate and problem??? Does that even belong in the same sentence?

Only inverted:

I have problems, therefore I eat chocolate.

Simple, huh?

amen.

!chik!

Oh!! That must explain why I eat chocolate by the pound then.

I thought this is a bar where alcohol is served??? Pass me the peanuts...and give me a beer! I think I need to play some darts. Who is willing to play 500?

The robobartenders play a mean game of darts. In fact, they're really, really good. In case they're too good there's a magnet on the bar and you can handicap them a bit by putting it on thier forehead.

That's how I got this scar <Shows pinpoint scar on back of neck> Just stay out of thier way when they're handicapped.

-M

Opening the door and peeking in to see who's around Kees sidles up to the bar, careful to avoid the smell of beer and yells: HEY, YOU GUYS, I'M BACK!!!! Seeing that no one had even noticed she had been missing she orders a cola without ice and takes it and her anacrostic book to a back booth relaxing now that her last week of work was finished.