Well, now you know the reason for the mask.

*sigh* I need something stronger than a Shirley Temple.

Gonzo + Elmo = Ted Danson.

Another interesting site on the internet just for fun.

Sadly we all know Monk will not be on the air forever. For those who favor quirky detectives, maybe the idea for the next great show will come from here:

http://www.theyfightcrime.org/

This site randomly generates a quirky detective team -- some of them are really funny. I hope you like it too.

Last time I was there I got:

He's an unconventional sweet-toothed messiah on a search for his missing sister. She's a chain-smoking mute queen of the dead from a family of eight older brothers. They fight crime!

He's a genetically engineered one-eyed boxer with no name. She's a violent goth stripper in the wrong place at the wrong time. They fight crime!


Hmmm, I am actually kind of liking this one...

He's a lounge-singing sweet-toothed paranormal investigator trapped in a world he never made. She's a manipulative communist fairy princess living homeless in New York's sewers. They fight crime!

O-Oh, sounds like a Mandeville story to me, lol.

ROFLOL

Sorry about your day, Mandeville.

I am Beaker! How wierd is that?

As a card holding member of the AARP Remote Viewing Group I have looked into your future. The Reptilians will be taking you to a deserted house where you will be held captive only to find things in the attic of high value. After escaping by means of The Force you will place them on e-bay becoming a millionaire, The Reptilians shall invite you into their secret society after discovering you know the secret of using The Force. There you shall meet the woman of your dreams, marry and have Children of the Corn who will look just like you. Your wife will invest in a new adventure, making Retilian Vanishing Body Lotion earning you both the Nobel Prize and you'll live happily ever after.

Sorry to hear about your day, M! Hang in there things will get better!

What a terrible day this has been, 'tender give me cola with a twist of lime please. Aww, Quinnie I could use a bar-buddy.

I left for work leaving Ted happily eating a big breakfast of French Toast with sausages while he drank a cup of coffee. I was so happy and relaxed and while at work I was listening to my favorite Baseball game, my team won. I came home wanting to share a relaxig moment with Ted while I told him about my excitement at our team winning, but alas, there was a note left for me that read:

Kees baby,

Had a great week with you. I've taken a supply of blue pills with me and have left to spend my week with Meme. I'll see you next Sunday.

Love you best,
Ted

Such a disappointment after such a funfilled week. I'm going to drown my sorrows and then go home to sleep single in my double bed. <sigh>

Some of the posts in this thread gave me an idea last night and I figure what better place to knock it around than here. (My own thoughts, as it were.)

Cat-Nippy is an African American girl with mad tech and computer skills and deductive reasoning that cant be beat.

Cat-Nappy is a firey Latina who likes to fight. Not as smart as Nippy but always ready to ride in to dangers mouth. Has secrets from her past many of which return to haunt her.

They spend most of thier days in risque cat outfits back at the hide out where both of them lay seductively entwined around Tom.

Tom is a no nonsence, turtle necked, trench coated mercenary who fights for the right cause but fights dirty as sin.

And together - They fight Crime!

-M

All you need is Cat-Nibbly, a blue-eyed Asian girl with karate skills and we'd have the makings of Tom's three cat-angels. A bit racy but could be fun - if, Tom was as sexy as Leland.

Yes, I'm still playing with this stupid thing. Some of these would actually be fun to write -- would that be considered fan fiction?

And is it wrong that I'm actually shipping these two already?

I´ve got these:

He´s globe-trotting voodoo cop in drag. She´s a brilliant green-skinned doctor in the witness protection scheme. They fight crime!

Ship freely!

I also invented something to ELMO.

E Ever
L loving
M Monk,
O obviously.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Very nice Elmo acronym.

I must really be ill -- I've just given serious thought to how hard it would be to hide a green-skinned woman in the witness protection program.

Maybe to the jungle?


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Youc could hide her at a Star Trek TOS convention. They had green women. She could tour on the convention circuit. He could be the cop who protects her. Plus I think she should have several doctorates including one in proctology. And maybe as a voodoo cop he's a zombie, so her doctor skills are always in use.

M, my dear, you have had Star Trek on the mind lately. Not that there is anything wrong with that...

Or, she could be Data's soulmate. Although, he was more of a gold than a true green. What about the Borg? They have a greenish tint. She could be the Borg Queen. But she has to put the emphasis on the second half of "futile". Tile, tile. Not "till". No, no. Picard had it down.

As always I'm thrilled that you've noticed. <wink> Plus, it takes one to know one, doesnt it... One?

-Mandeville

I am always amazed at the creativity and problem solving ablity of everyone here. This current conversation is just another example.

So why don't "they" ask us to run the world? We are just the people to have the imagination to make it work - with some nice shipping all around for everyone!

It's thier game. We just live in it.

We don't have to be a flock of sheep following where 'they' lead us. Stand up and let your voices be heard by the masses.

Yeah, Like Kennedy did. And Martin Luthor King Junior and all the other people 'they' deal with when nessesary. And those oh, so wonderful masses? They will forget you and your message in favor of the spectacle 'they' will make of you.

We could go Vegas in the US, open everything 24 hours, go on to a three shift day cycle of 8 hours each. Employment would rise with all the new jobs, 'rush hour' would come three times a day but always at the 2/3 level of what it is now. All the extra jobs and workers would pump vital life in to the economy and we could all be on a much more even keel by next year.

But it will never happen. Controls are in place. Insurance on an all night business is huge. If most businesses raise thier staff by 1/3 they change thier tax brackets and end up owing substantial amounts more than they should.

And when asked why this isnt an option I'm sure the logic will date back to something equivalent to "You should go home when it's dark little peasnts. There are scary things in the dark."

So instead we have to fight it out amonst ourselves for the few jobs that are available. People will continue to feel the squeeze financiall until they start getting crazy and develop criminal intentions to remedy the situation. And American buisness, for the most part, has it's hands tied by zoning laws and tax incentives and the number of hours they can stay open determined by town charters and state laws, with federal regulation hanging over everyones head.

We dont have to be sheep to live here. But it helps. Because trying to be more, and trying to fix things? Well, they can always get someone who is only half the boat rocker you or I are for less money. And guaranteed that for what he/she's being paid - nothing's getting done other than the bare minimum of the job. No one will be fixing anything.

I talk and joke about the Illuminati, but really, there has to be someone out there pulling all these strings. Like in the medical field - we produce thousands and thousands of pills and supposatories for every occasion life has to offer you. But when was the last time that Western Medacine CURED anything? I mean just wiped a disease right off the face of the map? Hmm?

Well maybe it's because cures lose customers for drug companies but treatments keep you coming back for more. I would hazard a guess that AIDS, Cancer - all these things have way less people and way less DEDICATED people in the 'Cure' depatrment than they have in the 'Treatment' labs.

It used to be that brutes would say "Might makes right." But now it's more like "Making Money is more right than anything else - ever." And they're running with that. They have been for years.

-Mandeville

Well damn you got me there.

Bingo!

Which is why a substantial amount of money goes to the study and treatment of acid reflux, but very little to rare and killer diseases like ALS. Why?

Say someone develops a great new drug to treat acid reflux... How many people have the disease? Millions. All those millions are potential customers for that drug. Which brings in money for more reasearch, and the next drug.

But say someone develops a drug that promises to slow ALS a little. There's a very small market for this drug. So they make it and sell it -- for over a thousand dollars for a month's supply. (Don't worry -- I don't have to pay for it. We're all paying for it -- Mom's on medicare)

Actually, I wish there was a secret society making the decision as to where the money goes. The fact that health research is directed by the free market system is very unassuring to me. Right now the system is functioning with Darwinian efficiency -- those who are strong and fit and able to pay for the treatments they need or want, are getting more and more drugs.

Those who aren't the fittest to survive in that environment are dying -- and they might as well do it quickly and decrease the surplus population.

What is the solution? There isn't any.

I had once thought that it might be a good idea to require pharmaceutical companies to funnel a portion of their profits to research for rare diseases. But in reality, that would only raise drug prices for all of us. And they're high enough already.

You could place the companies under the control of the government, but government-controlled medicine doesn't really have a good track record of efficiency or compassion either.

The only thing that really has effect is when private monies are funneled into the research program. Consider this when you make your donations. The more common a disease is, or in some strange way -- the more popular, the more likely it is to already receive lots of research dollars through the private companies looking for a profit.

The good news is, we're making great strides in heart disease, diabetes, and breast cancer.

-M,

When you think about it the Illuminati are not all that hard to believe in. Think of all the secret societies associated with the best universities like the 'Skull & Bones.' Even the Free Masons, which Benjamin Franklin was a member, were our founding fathers and what is more secret than the rites of the Masonic Temple?

Don't they pick and choose who our candidates for office will be? Yeah, they pick the ones who will follow wherever they lead. Our leaders are not chosen by the people they are chosen by those higher powers who control world affairs which keep this world off balance to secure the wants and needs of the richest, not us lowly peons. What if everyone stood up and said 'no' to the presidential candidates and no one voted for either one of them? Then maybe we could pick our own candidates.

Why do we out-source our jobs to China when Rwanda could use the business more. Why do our young blacks turn down jobs and sell drugs, join gangs and kill each other off. Blood in, blood out. Because someone wants it that way, to stop the drug trafficking would mean less money, less power. The Illuminati don't just live in this country they live all over the world controlling every aspect of political/military powers.

We could, as people, stop this oil shortage. Don't buy gas guzzlers, don't buy products made from petroleum, put off those unnessary trips to window shop, do it all in one day and stop driving to where you can walk. Did you know it takes 8 quarts of raw oil to make 1 tire? Add that on to the cost of filling up your tank and you are lining the pockets of someone heavily invested in oil and it isn't the oil companies, it's the ones who run the worlds oil supply, the guys who tell the oil companies how much can be pumped per day.

I could go on-and-on all day about this. I remember the days when we had forests where I live now, we didn't need super highways, we lived our lives at a slower pace and made do with what we had.

What if they tore down all the condemned houses and filled in the land and turned them into gardens for the poor to grow their own food and the poor went back to canning vegetables. What if we all bought recycled paper products and put the companies who used new raw material out of business? Wouldn't it send a message that we will no longer act like sheep being led to slaughter.

Who is this creep that decided we have to have converter boxes or cable to continue to watch TV after 2/17/09? And why? It's going to profit someone higher than the cable companies or TV stations. Soon it will be radio. Then what.

All we have to do is use the brains God gave us and look to the past for answers. People didn't buy houses they couldn't afford back then, they bought houses that fit within the minimal budget and they didn't have a TV in every room, they didn't have credit cards to buy those things they thought they needed but really didn't, they saved money and paid cash because they weren't house poor and deep in debt. For every technological advance there is someone pulling the strings making us think we can't live without them.

And, yeah, BfloGal, they put a lot of money into fixing the common illnesses but dang little into the ones that can kill us over time but they charge the big bucks to diagnose those with these types of illnesses, common or not. My granddaughter with continual morning sickness was put on medication for a month to stop the vomiting to save the baby and her life from dehydration, the medication used on chemo patients. The cost of that drug for a month, $1319.00!

It's up to us to remember the words of MLK, Jr and JFK, not to just read them from some book then cast the book aside to gather dust in a bookcase.

So what do you think of doing away with the Federal Income Tax and adopting the Fair Tax? Sounds like a fix to some of our problems, at least to me it does.

First off B-Gal, I love the optimism in this line and am in no way making fun of you with the following statement - which was my second thought after reading htis line.

"Yes, Philanthropy can save us all. Go Batman!!!"

Guess I'm a little more cynical than I used to be. I never used to be but then I had health insurance for a while, went to some doctors, saw how the system works and lost all hope completely.

It's sad really. Curing a big name disease is probably just as likely to get you killed as make you rich or famous.

-M

LOL -- I've always been more partial to batgirl myself -- not only did she have a killer motorcycle, but she had her own corny theme song. I've always wanted my own corny theme song.

I am NOT a Pollyanna in this regard. There are terrible problems with the system. But, I can't really think of a better one. But speaking from the example of ALS, most of the credible research has been funded through MDA -- from private donatations, especially through the telethon. So it does work.

The sad thing is how little insurance and government monies are available for those who need them. Can you believe that a woman with ALS could not qualify under medicare/medicaid for an electric wheelchair? Hello??

But the MDA was there -- not only funding the research that led to the drugs that were there to extend her life by a little, but they paid for some of her equipment that she could not afford.

One of the cool programs they have is an equipment sharing system. They even loaned her a transfer chair for an indefinite time -- one that I used for years to take her out to go to Walmart or the mall. Since Lou Gehrigs (ALS) is fatal, a lot of the privately owned equipment is donated back and then lent to someone else. They will probably get her power chair -- later. (I would encourage everyone to consider looking into a similar program in your area if you ever find yourself inheriting medical equipment.)

But the lack of good research and treatment programs and studies allows for a lot of charlatans to step in to offer people hope. A couple of years ago my mother was convinced that the answer to her problem was stem cells. She wanted me to take her to North Korea, and got mad at me when I wouldn't consider it. Well, it turned out that whole program was a fraud.

It's really easy to get pessimistic. But there is progress being made when you consider that our life expectancy is going up, even though we, as a culture, keep making lifestyle choices that are not the healthiest for us. So something is going right. Although it is hard at times to pinpoint exactly what that is...

I know I've mentioned my friend Harvey before. He's kind of a crack-pot but really my oldest friend in the world at this point. Possibly my only one... But I digress.

But Harvey solved the Drug Problem.

Have governemnt run crack-cocaine and methanphetamine houses - make them mansions - with only two rules. You cant leave once you come in and there's nothing to eat. But you can have all the crack or meth you want. And offer the houses up as an alternative to stealing, mugging or hurting anyone to aquire drugs, because no matter how much it sounds like it wouldnt work, a lot of those people would just line up and walk right in.

I know, it's a total Nazi-esque idea and it shows no sympathy for the people who suffer under the drugs, but the hard, cold reality is that most of those constant user types would have killed themselves by overdose a long time ago if they could have afforded it. And I'm not talking about sub-urban party kids or consenting adults in thier own homes on the weeked. This is about the guy on the sidewalk with the needle in his arm crying because it's empty (i.e. Under Tampa's Brigde system)

I argued back that the house should be a last resort and that it should be a ourt refferred thing - if you've got drug motivated violent crimes, multiple incidents making up a life long history, and you fail or flunk out of the mandatory court ordered drug intervention - they should give you a choice: Jail or The House.

If nothing else I thought it might make a good movie.

Sad part is - Most of those people would be thrilled to be in there.

And what can I say in HArvey's defense? He's a realist. Mankind has always done drugs, so he figures they always will. But he knows that the zero-tolerance policy traps experimenting teenagers in with hard core heroin addicts - and that's not right either (By the way, I was the pot addled teen in the heroin addicts support group. They had big teardrop shapped scars from shooting up and missing the vein, thier teeth were rotted out and they were so agitated and angry I thought one of them was going to kill me before I got out of there. Flash forward twelve years to now.)

And we're back!

-M

This idea of Harvey's sounds very much like a Stephen King story I read years ago. Same premise---legalize drugs, all the hard-core druggies who commit terrible crimes to get them will overdose themselves and be gone. Don't remember the name of the story now; I think it was one he wrote under the name Richard Bachman. Not sure how I feel about the idea---but it would sure work a lot better than the supposed War On Drugs that we've been losing for years.
And, does this mean there may be a chocoholics house?? I'd be waiting first in line on the doormat for that house to open. Just hoping.

Psssst, M, don't look now but I think you have a lot more friends than just Harvey. We all ya.

Meme

I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but it sounds cool! I haven't visited this thread in forever. Can someone pick me back up to speed, please?

-chik

OI

as I have no idea also, let me pay you chick a virgin ST together with a geat slice of
chocolate cake, fully covered with white chocolate plus some cherrys atop of each slice, while the others fill us in...



Mi

Ooh, cake! Sounds good to me!

-chik

lol. Yeah, I guess so Meme.

But, you know, wouldnt it be great, I mean really great to hear "We solved a problem.", wouldnt it? Just every now and then. I mean... It almost doesnt figure. We invented one half or two thirds of all inventions and innovations in the last 100 or so years. And we could manufacture new diseases and viruses all day long - and in some places we do. But really, and still... Why dont we ever cure a disease, solve a problem that troubles more than ten percent of the population, develop something so revolutionary that the life of every person on the planet is enhanced just by it's being there, you kow, like people are threatened by the viruses but in a good way.

I dont know. A renisance movement? Is that even possible in this day and age? Or will our attention span fade in a day or so and we're left looking at our bills again.

I dont know, it's like everything's just hanging here, waiting. Nothing good wants to unfold, or maybe it just doesnt get the chance. But in my head it really feels like the math should hold out. There should be univeral goods as well as universal ills, right? Why dont they turn up more often?

I'm not even sure I can name one...

Um... The Zipper. It revolutionized clothing and design and has never really been improved upon. So, one. We've got the zipper. And while I know it isnt much, if this were 1810 or so you'd be totally enthused.

How about you guys? Universal Goods! Inventions that improved the world for everyone, come on - let me hear what you've got.

-Mandeville

How about Velcro or elastic. Think about it, handicapped people don't have to try to push buttons through small holes, don't have to tie their shoes or use a belt...well.....neither do we lazy ones come to think of it. Permanent press took the press out of ironing and pre-tied ties took the tie out to eat in fancy restaurants.

Come on people, I'm sure we can all find something inventive that made our lives easier.

Um...how about the internet -- while not available world-wide, it certainly has made my life a little better -- after all, has it not brought us all together and given us a forum to express ourselves and encourage each other? I think we take all our technology for granted.

After several multi-day power outages over the last few years, I have to say, I certainly prefer spending my evenings sitting on the sofa in a climate-controlled room, hanging out with people all over the world on the Monk board, than I would sitting in a log cabin, stitching homespun clothing by hand using the light from a kerosene lamp.

But this technology is not only a help to those who can and don't want to. There are a lot of people with illnesses and injuries that are helped as well. I bought my mother a dishwasher and a food processor early in her illness, and they allowed her to keep up her own home for longer than she could have without them. I bought my grandmother a food processor, and now she can make her own favorite soup by herself -- since her arthritis makes too much chopping painful.

Power wheelchairs, large print and audio books, wheelchair ramps and handicap accessible buildings. Antibiotics and vaccines?

Things are better in many respects --- but no, certainly not perfect. Utopia will never be possible because of the foul elements inherent in human nature.

I went into - well, I don't want to tell you the store, but it rhymes with Shmoffis Repot, to buy a laptop to replace the one that died on me. The sales I had one in mind, a $400 dollar model which I would have used for writing and internet searches. That's all I wanted it for anyway, but he told me it was bottom of the barrel and would frustrate me. So, I'm like, what would you suggest? And he shows me the most powerful and most expensive model on the floor. Apparently as a writer I need to have a screen that swivels back and a monitor I can write on with a stylus at several times the cost. I went back after researching the brands I saw in the store, and made the purchase without the help of any sales people. (I bought something in the middle, becasue I liked some of the features of the brand I bought, which I wasn't necessarily looking for)

(((Crystal jumps off the soapbox and goes back to searching the interweb.)))

Okay, be honest--

Who else thinks that Birds Nest stadium in the Olympics looks like a giant toilet seat?

I can't be the only one...

I think it looks like a toilet seat also. Everytime I look at the thing I just laugh!

I think that all those sales people think that we, as consumers, are dumb. I get that a lot when I go into a store...but I usually come perpared...I look up stuff on the web or print out the item I want so there is no way they could stray me to another item!

I hope that you new machine works well...

I never ask a salesperson for their opinion and that's the reason. Of course all they are interested in is selling you the most expensive model available. Do your research online and/or ask people around you what they use and make your own decision. That way you can walk in knowing what you want and not fall for a sales speech. Did you find something yet?

I think she said she bought one --

How was Toronto MJ?

I thought of you when I was watching the Bills preseason game. They were playing there at the same time you were there on your trip.

I needed this today... just a place to vent...

Having immigration problems... silly me got married to an American... my green card was valid for the first two years... then I had the priviledge of reapplying and sending more money to have it extended for 10 years... well, I complied to all their demands and forms, had recommendations from the President of a Large Food Service Corporation, plus others to prove my marriage was for real, and sent them all my money... two years later, I am still waiting...

So my husband got a Senator involved to see what was going on... of course it filtered down to his assistant... she actually was really cool... immigration told her that they had mailed my new green card a while ago, so I must have moved... NOT... now I find out today that this assistant retired at the end of July and my file has gone on to another office to be investigated...

I am frustrated as he**, now I'm lost in two government beauracracies <sp>... and they wonder why so many people are illegal in this country... I'm getting tired of fighting a system that doesn't even reward you when you do it right the first time... btw I'm Canadian... god, what was I thinking?

Welcome to America, Phoenix. The land of the free, home of the brave and more red tape than a ball of twine.

LOL thanx

The part i find funny is that i'm still legal to work and pay taxes here... i'm just not legal to live here

I was there at Rogers Centre for the game! Friday night I took my brother to see his favorite band, Radiohead. Then we spent the rest of the time exploring the city. This was my second time there. It is a nice city to hang out in for a few days.

Toronto is a nice place to visit -- kind of reminds me of NYC in a way -- only cleaner and it smells better -- LOL.

I've only been there twice myself -- kind of surprising considering the proximity to Buffalo.

I'm glad you had a good time.

LOL, great minds think alike because that is precisely how I describe Toronto myself - a nicer, cleaner NYC. Although I am rather fond of NYC too.

We almost went down through Buffalo on the way home (stopping off first in Niagara of course) but we didn't have enough time. Next time!

PM me -- we'll do lunch.

Mi enters the bar, hoping like a silly teenager

Heym guys! I just got my autographed pic from Tony!
you wanna see it? you wanna see it??

Mi goes around the bar, still hoping and sipping a soda



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