Oh, no! A handicapped robobartender? Does he/she/it have a placard?

@: lovethatmonk ~~ I'll take you on in a game of 500! How about double-in/double-out?

Tami comes back and gets up into a bar stool, accidentally knocking over someone's cola/no ice. "Oh, sorry," she says, turning and realizing who the person is: "Kees! Hey! How'd you get Leland's jeans out of Vegas?! I'll paper-scissors-rock you for them!" As Kees holds out her fist in the starting position for PSR, Tami pulls out a pair of heavy duty shears and a large rock ... and hands Kees a sheet of paper ...

Hiding hands behind back, Kees gives Tami a sickly sweet smile and slipping one hand into her purse for a bottle of super glue...."Uh, umm, well, it's like this, I took most of a bottle of xanax and all my savings to get to Vegas on the Mastercard Ad Thread but then I couldn't make myself go in to any of the places so I was just hanging out, outside, listening to a drunken guy singing 'Ain't No Sunshine' when this pair of pants came flying out the window...

OMG--that's hilarious! So the Soap Box Bar, Grill, and Lounge is located in that hotel??!? Cool! That means there's a casino!

Yeah you are right. Okay then, get me a chocolate martini bartender!!!

ummm...make that two...

Okay I'll take 2. Oh wait, is one for you? How about 2 each so that makes an even 4?

Does that mean I have to have 6 to make it an even 10?

Yes, I am afraid that's what that means. We'll make sure you get home safely don't worry.

I think 2 might be my limit ...

Here's a stream of consciousness lane change--no blinkers and I'm sticking my arm out the window:

I'm watching The Granny episode and rewinding back to Michael's part. I wonder if he needs his own stalker? I'd like to volunteer for the position. What a looker!

Okay I take it back. I am not holding your hair if you can't hold your liquor.

<Mandeville climbs to the top of his chair, ringing his glass with a spoon>

Attention! Attention! <clears throat>

I Need a vacation.

<Downs his drink and drops back in to his chair>

-M

M - Where do you want to go....Las Vegas...Kees just got back from there with Lelands' pants...Hey Kees did you get his wallet too? I just watch a special on the travel channel on the 12 hotest jobs in Vegas...maybe we can get you one of those jobs and then you may never want to go back to Florida!

I will buy everyone a round at the bar..."God Bless Adrian Monk" and booze! and chocolate!

A vacation does sound wonderful!! I'll drink to that!!

I wanna go someplace spiritual... Like that 'pichu place, or stonehenge... uh... dollywood... I dont know. It's late.

-M

Dollywood I heard is great if you really want to go...Myself I would love to go to Fiji or St John or St Croix...wanted to go there for our honeymoon but "it's too expensive" I went to Alaska...maybe you can go on a cruise...it was beautiful...and it's the perfect time of the year...the whales are migrating! Some say it can be a spiritual experience...think about it!

NOT MY SOAPBOX STORY - IT HAPPENED TO A FRIEND.
and btw, it involves the bus.

Okay, so my friend is riding the bus home and there is someone towards the back of the bus who is hurling half-chewed sunflower seeds and curses as the bus passengers (including a couple of girls 8/10 year olds). So my friend goes up to the driver and tells him that there is a problem in the back of the bus and that the driver needed to do something about it (she was hoping the driver would have the guy get off). Okay, so the driver doesn't do ANYthing about it. My friend decides to sit in the front of the bus, where it's reasonably safe. When the guy comes forward to the fare box, and pours the rest of his sunflower seeds into the farebox. So the driver is angry and upset about the guy doing this and and acting...uh, not good, as well. So she remarks that she had said something earlier. (Not necessarily smart, but absolutely correct.) So the driver tells her to get off the bus and when she wouldn't (she didn't do anything wrong, really) he called the police on her. My friend was totally cleared, but really. How come no-one on the busses care anymore?

In the words of Bob Dylan Crystal "Everything is broken."

And by this I mean that the laws of this place and time extinguish culture instead of promoting it's growth. They promote the status quo and have maintianed it long past most of it's stress points. And for that we have lost much of our manners, grace and dignity as a nation.

We work more hours a week than most places. The only places the work harder are sweatshops in third world countiries. It's why we're always hearing about them and not other places.

I know what we need, what could fix it and what needs to happen, but trust me, nobody listens. And it's so much more easily said than done.

We need a renisance in this country so incredible and ell encompasing that it reaches even the oldest and deepest money that runs washington dc.

But have you tried throwing a renisance lately? Especially by yourself?

It's exhausting.

...

I need another drink.

-M

So true M...I think you may need a decent Margarita...Crystal get the party rolling with the a song!
Maybe when can make it come true with a decent song that will get everyone motivated!

Make mine a double...

These kinds of people are why I just don't want to ever have to leave my house again. I hope your friend reported that driver to the bus company! First, he ignores a passenger's complaint. Then he calls the police on the passenger that had just reported that other jerk. You have to get off the bus if you report a hostile passenger that's harrassing everyone on the bus??? He deserved all those spitted up shells in his fare box. What a tool.

Well, she told my that she had reported the abuse, I and a couple of others have encouraged her to follow through and see what actions were taken, etc.

Mandeville, you are a true renaissance man - you have inspired all of us. Lets stand on the tables and sing that stirring song from Les Miserables -


Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Will you join in our crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Beyond the barricade
Is there a world you long to see?
Courfeyrac:
Then join in the fight
That will give you the right to be free!

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Will you give all you can give
So that our banner may advance
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
The blood of the martyrs
Will water the meadows of France!


Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of angry men?
It is the music of a people
Who will not be slaves again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
There is a life about to start
When tomorrow comes!

Here's a toast then to Cosette and Fontiene! Huzzah!

great job Monkofile...M needed that! I will keep the maragritas coming...I think Meme and Tami might continue their throwdown in the back of the bar...can we have a ring made by the penguins from the MMMTB...we can make it a reality show!

LOL. Who's reality? I just had to get rid of the moving day countdown thing. It was making me jumpy.

No matter when they move you - all your stuff here will be right where you left it.

-M

Yeah!

Hi, guys

I am sorry to pour some cold water in your joy, but now I know why I was feeling depressed yesterday.
Bartender, please, pour me somethingstrong, will ya? ....maybe a diet coke with two ice cubes...make it double....
I couldn´t sleep, I went to bed early - I was really sleepy - but my mind didn´t rest. My hubbie asked me what was wrong, I mumbled something and apologized for not letting he sleep also, he caressed my hair and told me not to worry. As his hand lost it´s movement - poor guy, he was really tired, double shift at the job - I just realised: it´s going to be a loong night. And came to the computer.
I was so down I couldn´t log in here, but was around hearing what you guys were cleverly discussing/posting/make fun of. Something inside of me wasn´t right, my chest was feeling a bad and huge compression...bad feelings...

I though about my mother.

I was at her house at night, I made a review on my sister´s post-graduation Dissertation ( I am graduated in Portuguese) and I was at the Tv room explainig her about the corrections. My mo was there also, at her favorite spot on the couch, trying to listen to her Sopa Opera. We weren´t allowing her to listen to it, so she was giving us a very annoyed look....mother´s things, you know. So, I finished the explanation, then I said goodbye to my sister and to my mom, who was still holding that look. I just waved her, and winked at her, and said: Sorry, mom! She kind of smiled at me, and I went out.

This was the last time I saw my mom alive. She died of heart attack two days later.

I didn´t hug her.

I didn´t say I loved her.

.......

So, I believed this was the reason why I was down yesterday. She passed away 6 years ago, she wasn´t here to give me smart and nice advises during my pregnancy, smart and nice advises to my current life, she didn´t met her grandsons, she isn´t here today, I cannot hug her....

My eyes are terrible red.

But, this morning, I was fixing my baby his PS2 racing car game when I got a call. It was my baby´s teacher, she said a collegue of him just passed away....she was 6 years old, she has Down Syndrome, and was at the hospital struggling against a hard pneumonia problem....Well, my kid was her close friend. Every day he waited her to arrive at school, to grab her hand and enter the classroom with her. He was tutoring her, in a way, and he chosse to do this by heart. He´s only 5 years old, and his heart decided to take care of Vivian by itself. He explained her the activities, helped her during the classes and everyday, when he comes back from the school, he used to tell me something funny about Vivi...

And now, sitting here and listening to him playing, I have no courage to tell him about her. I cannot tell him...

Dear God, I am feeling so down...I am praying some angel went there at the hospital and guided Vivi to the Heaven...I´m praying my mom was the guiding angel...

.......

Sorry, guys.

Stay Strong Mi, your feeling do you credit.

And you have a very special boy there, one who I am sure will come to understand what has happened here with just a little explanation.

Then all you have to do is be there and listen to him and help when you can.

He must be very special to have helped all on his own like that and maybe he is ready for one of lifes harshest lessons. But once it's over with, he's bound to be stronger for the experience.

I think you're probably a very good mother and generally a happy person. But those things aside, I think you're just the person to explain this particularly unfair part of life to your little boy.

Although I'm sorry that you have to. <big warm hugs>

-Damien

Good morning, Mi. I am so sorry for your losses. I am sure your mom would be so proud of you if she were here.

The whole group of children in his class will be upset at the loss of Vivian, but especially your little guy. The teacher and school needs to help the children understand what happened to her.

It would be helpful to them and to him to think of a project in her honor over the next couple of weeks. If she loved to draw - maybe some art supplies donated to the children's wing of the hospital, or if she loved to swing - a special piece of playground equipment, or a tree.

Encourage your little guy to write her a letter and draw pictures of her. Even though he is so young, his heart has already shown who he is. I believe that these crises can produce a defining moment in a very young life. It may influence what he does when he grows up (doctor or teacher etc.)

Courage, Mi. You can handle this. I will pray for you both.


HUGS,
Kathy

I'm so sorry to hear about all that. *hugs* But, I think Monkophile1 has the right idea, I'm pretty much going to have to go with what she said. No death is easy, especially for a kid, just explain to him that it's a part of life and Vivian is probably much happier where she is now and how blessed she had been to have a friend like him. Sure, he'll be sad, I mean who wouldn't be? Losing a close friend is something everyone would be sad about.

Just always be there for him and tell him everything will be alright. It'll pass.

Come on everyone, I think right now what we need is a big group hug!!

*group hugs*

!chik!

I agree with everything you said. After losing a close friend, everyone should and will be sad. I lost a close friend of mine last May. Some days it still hurts when I think about him. I try not to think about the bad things that happened, and focus most of my attention on all of the good times we had together. I think about him everyday, but I know he wouldn't want me to be sad, he would want me to be happy. He is okay, and not in any pain and is very happy where he is. I know this is the same for Vivian. Everything will be okay. Things will get better!! I second the group hug!!

<sad nod> Yeah, group hug.

I just read this thread and am joining in the group hug, Michele.

I know what it is like to have to give bad news to little ones. It is so hard. Mothers want to protect their kids, and keep them from things like this.

I'll be praying for you and your son.

What a blessing it must be though, to have a son who befriended that little girl. It shows something really special in him. Give him extra hugs from all of us.

Barb

I am sorry to hear of your troubles Michelle...I know that death is the hardest to explain to children. What Monkphile has said will help the children learn to heal...I would be very proud that my child befriended someone who was different from the others and concerned about her needs. He sounds like a great kid. Sometimes I wonder if we should let the children of the world run it...they may do a better job of tollerance then we do as adults. I would hope he will remember his special friend.

My neice had someone who she was like a twin to her. Spent lots of time playing together. But she was brutely killed by someone. I was always concerned about her mental health when she heard about her friend. She told me that her friend would visit her when she was sleeping. They would run and play and giggle as if she was still alive. Then she would have nightmares about how she died. It took some time for her to recover. She didnt make friends for a long time but leaned on me and other family members to talk to..mostly me. She does think of her friend once in a while but knows that knowing her was important and doesnt want her to ever go away. People are important to know for a reason...and I think your son may have already known that fact.

God bless you
T.

Thank you, guys!
You are awesome!!

I talked to this fantastic boy I have here,and we decided to spend the afternoon playing outside, he decided to have fun in Vivi´s honor! Then, at 4pm - burial time, we came inside to pray together for her soul. He said such nice things to " Daddy above" ... I´m so happy he´s such a great kid! Thank you, Lord, for blessing me such many times in my life!!!!

Tks for the support, friends! Tks for the group hug! Thanx!

...and now I declare the bar re-opened!

You can lay yourserves down at the puffy-yellow-pink-reddish-couches, sit at the stools and sip your drinks, and dance with the robot-bartenders at the poles....ooops, This is not this kind of bar.....

Anyway, enjoy your evening!

hugs
Mi

You guys heard Mi...the bar is open....wonder if we can get Tom Cruise over to dance behind the bar instead of the robots...unless we can change out the robots for some hot looking guys or girls?

What do you think about that M...is it possible?

Maybe I better get down from the barstool and drink my beer in peace...

The robots are more in our budget. If we upgrade to real people we'll have to start letting Psych fans in to cover the overhead. And you know what they're like. <smirk>

-M

My friend just got back from visiting Machu Picchu in Peru. It's definitely a spiritual place. Just please do not go to Dollywood. The visions you would see there would not be pleasant.

Awwwww honey I am sorry to hear this! And don't apologize to us! That's what we are here for. Vent away. You have every right to be upset and depressed. Stop by here, we'll keep you going!

Chaco canyon maybe... It's closer.

-M

No one's come into the bar today? How unusual. I know it's Sunday, but I know it's not closed today--I didn't have to crawl in through the basement window this time.

Sorry, we were all passed out in the back, recovering from last night.

How come no one invited me to pass out in the back? Am I not part of the "inner circle" here? Hmm? I see. Okay. Well then, next time you guys pass out without inviting me, prepare to wake up missing a major article of clothing and with unattractive sharpie drawings on your faces. Ha!

sorry yvette....I wasnt in the back passed out...I went to the park and was feeding the pigeons!

M - Ok I hear that we cant get some hot guys or girls...oh well...maybe next year

I was here early this afternoon, there wasn't a soul in sight, not even a robobartender - we you guys passed out in the cooler? I treated myself to a lime coke with a twist and left when no one showed up.

I left, went home and worked on my Dale-the-Whale afghan while watching the Brewers beat the Orioles.

Who says we can't have some hunky guys and hot chicks in this place - who'll I dance with, sit in the back booth with....?

<BfloGal wanders into the bar, and plops a wad of cash down on the counter>

"Gimme a Shirley Temple and keep 'em coming."

It's like this...

My mother called tonight. Okay you robo-bartenders may not know this, but my mother is dying. She has Lou Gehrig's disease, and she's been dying for almost ten years now.

Here's the thing. Tonight she told me that she was in the hospital last weekend and that she had a mild heart attack. The only thing was my step-dad called me and told me she was in the hospital, and it turned out to be a severe bladder infection. She contends that the nursing home she is in is not taking good care of her, and that my step-father isn't doing anything about getting her out. My step-dad says he is doing his best, and everything is full. He gave me a list of places he's called and visited in the last week, even though his health is not the best. They gave him 6 months to live back in 1988.

And I feel....I feel awfully tired of raising my parents.

I want to be the dutiful daughter taking care of her loving parents -- but that's just not my reality. These people were two of the worst excuses for parents I've ever seen in my life.

Have you ever crawled over a room full of hung over people to get yourself ready for school and pack your own lunch and get yourself off to the bus stop?

Have you ever been coached as to what to say when you get to the emergency room -- after they delayed taking you for hours?

Have you ever been pulled over on the way to the emergency room because the parent driving you is drunk?

Have you ever gotten all your clothes at the Goodwill because your parents drank and smoked and gambled their money away?

Have you ever raised a younger sibling?

Have you ever told your parents that they shouldn't have any more kids until they take care of the ones they have?

Have you ever listened to a tape recording (obtained by a private investigator hired by your step-father) where your mother tells her lover how much she hates you and all her children?

But now that she's dying she suddenly loves me (that's news -- I've never heard that before) ... and won't I file the fungus off her fingernails... run all over town and take care of her errands... find her a new nursing home.

When she was sick and living at home I would come over and clean, and change and wash her sheets, and brink quick meals to stock her freezer.

Now that she's in the home, I try to go visit her. I bring her the things she asks for. I make her special treats I know she likes. I've taken her shopping and out to eat. I've fed her a hot fudge sundae.

Neither of my brothers goes to see her at all.

But I'm so tired of all her games. I'm trying the best I can, because she's my mother.

But I'm not happy about it.

Yeah. I get that.

It's so familiar it hurts to read about it really.

And you know, it's hard enough to be a good 'kid' without having to put up with thier ...'stuff' at the same time.

You'll thank yourself later - in the form of an eased conscience.

Otherwise it just sucks.

Stay strong and be true to yourself. If you damage yourself by over-extending yourself you'll just have one more thing to resent.

But there isnt much more I can say on the subject and still be honest with myself and by default - you.

<understanding hug>

-M