♫ Somebody to lo-ove find me

Michele enters the Bar, her head aching baaaaadly and Freddy Mercury yelling 'somebody tooooooooo lo-o-o-o-ve' in it, sits at the only free stool and says:
I do love Queen, I told ya, but....PLEASE, SOMEONE, MAKE IT GO AWAY! And bring me something hugely immensely and astronimically stroooooong!
10 cubes of ice on it.


Mi

<Mandeville makes Mi a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and slides it down the bar>

You know they say most people need rehab after just one of these...

Mi gives Mandeville her car keys.
-Hope you can drive! Cheers!

Mi

Sure. I'm a good driver. <unrolls map> The blue part is all paved, right?

Pan galac-hic-tic gargle blast-hic-ther...good....
Yep. It's all pa-aaa-ved!
but do not - hic - worry, Mandel -hic - Howie? hic- Ville....
hic- my car has wingssssssssssssssssssssssss.......

Sweet. The last time I flew anywhere I hurt my arms. <Mixes up another PGB and slides it off to Mi> That better Mi?

It is very weird that I just heard that Queen song on the radio TODAY...must be cosmic...Hey M can I try one of those drinks...My husband says they are very good!

<Slides several PGB's down the bar.> Drink up people. By tomorrow we'll have forgotten our names!

<Downs his PGB in one gulp and begins trying to light a french fry like a cigarette>

MI, drolling a bit, shouts over the counter:
Yep, they are FAN-TASSS- TI - hic -TIC!
and I do believe.... we're being told to spread Love!!
it's a subliminar message.....
LOVE! some-doby-toooo--Loooove!
find me �ô
♫ �ô ♫ �ô

(((Sorry, I don't drink, but I believe I would be a very boooring drunk woman....))))

Yea...I am a happy drunk! I love everyone...even a snake...and I hate snakes!!!

Gosh....I know there's a joke inside there, but the PGB doesn't allow me to see it clearly....


Mi

I know
I know
two-in-a-row....
-hic-
but, -M, keep my car safe, ok?
-hic-
and please call me a cab.
-hic-
Two hours difference just kills me....

be safe, folks!
see ya t'morrow!

hugs
Mi

Goodnight Mi.

I think I'll be slinking out too.

Night to the world then!

-M

People. They say that they are going to do their part in a project, and then don't show up to any of the meetings. On the day that they are supposed to present thier part of the project, they don't show up at all. Then, while a certain person is freaking out, trying to throw together the entire project a 'friend' asks you what's wrong. I have to do this project all by my selft because (deleted) isn't here. "She's sick." you're told. And you belive this 'friend.', so nose to the grindstone, you work what's left of your butt off, and get a fairly decent presentation in. But you're still angry. Then, after the meeting, your 'friend' tells you, "You should have asked for help." Well, thank you, "Friend." I'll do that. But that's not the kicker. The kicker is that your partner, the one who should have been presenting this idea with you, shows up halfway through the meeting. Grrrr. <----fake meeting smile.

Hold on Mi. I am sending the Bus for you! And the penguins are going to put you to bed! I think you have a fever! Sharona is there and she will take good care of you!

Did the professor/teacher see that you did the work? This kind of thing drives me nuts. Then (deleted) will want the grade and its just not fair. I always try to move on and not let it get to me. Somehow I believe that "what goes around, comes around" and that person will get what they deserve. Try not to worry about it. But I understand the need to go GRRRRRRRRR
Hold on, I have the right clipart for you if I can post it. BRB.

Barkeeper - give my friend a Long Island Iced Tea. That will help.

I couldn't insert the picture sorry - but it was called "running with scissors" and I don't know how to add it to the page.

And how about this one. I clicked on a You Tube video that said Pelican eats bird. It was a news clip and the reporter says, that this video isn't suitable for children, and not one second after she says this they show the pelican eating the bird. I was mad. And a little traumatized.

Stepping off the bus and smiling to herself after watching 'foxtrot and Og' vying for Natalie's attention Kees looks around..."Whoa, what have I missed"...bends over to pick up a burnt french fry and someone's car keys...looks at all the patrons sleeping it off, "must have been one heck of a party I missed." Seeing Sharona holding up Mi's shoulder..."Shhh Kees, she whispers, "did you bring along a bottle of aspirins? Looks like we'll need a good supply come morning, ~M was a little too free with the PGB's last night. Say, you don't drink, would you volunteer to be the designated driver next time?"

"Yeah, Kees replies, looks like this bunch could use a DD, what happened here last night?" "Oh, a little bit of misery loving company I guess" Sharona replied. Shaking her head Kees sees a pair of penguins coming to help Sharona get Mi to the bus infirmary. "Thank God and Guardian Angels for penquins."

My initials are DD.

<falls down in corner and snores>

-M

Mi,with Sharona in one arm and a penguin in other, enters the bar:
-Is the bus coming back this night? Kees, please, I need my Audi keys back!
looks at Mandeville, still snoring, in the corner and a traumatized Crystal next to him.
-Sharona, dear, quit this weird walk, pretending you are in some 2008 Breakthrough Award and give those guys over there a help!
Looking at the big silver robot in front of her,
-Bartender, a bottle of Summit Creek, please?



Mi

Rummaging around in the denim bag Kees calls a purse and not finding Mi's car keys...

"Boy Mi, you sure tied one on last night, thank God Sharona happened by when she did. The bus is parked just around the corner, CWN couldn't find a parking spot big enough out front so he parked in the empty lot.

Still digging around in her bag, Kees starts taking stuff out and making a pile on the floor. Wallet, checkbook, tissues, wipes, hand sanitizer, aspirin, extra meds (emergency supply), nail clippers and file, deodorant, address book,

"I know those keys are here someplace, Mi...just give me a sec, OK?"

...pliers, scout knife, silverware wrapped in plastic, smokes and lighter...."OK, I found them" handing keys over to Mi.

"Look, guys, I have a hot date tonight with 'Odd Thomas' so -M tonight you're the DD. I don't know what time I'll be back. Sharona, for the love of Monk, will you please put on something a little more appropriate, this is, afterall, this is just a bar and grill, not some red carpet event. Yes, you do look very nice. Robotender, er, penguin bring Sharona something alittle more casual and not so low cut to put on. What, where....oh, you'll find the clothes rack on the 3rd floor storage closet."

Penguins! If you don't keep reminding them they let everything slip right off their flipper in favor of a fishy treat.

Okay that was funny Kees but do I hafta read the entire thread to get the gist of this one quote!

Sue~

Well, no, just one page back to last nights big party -M was buying...

Okay Kees I went back and read a few pages.

They have a saying about those PBG 'One is not enough and Two is too many'.

In the future if you need a DD I am always available. How dry I am!

What is PBG? It won't be the first stupid question I've asked in here today so, anyone?

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster it's a drink I guess, made up or real I don't know.

I'm so dry I'm dust. The last drink I had was Xmas 3 years ago, my son put a shot of brandy into a full 2 litre of Coka Cola I was drinking but it was so diluted I don't count it. But, hey, I don't need to drink to get all silly, I can do that stone cold sober.

Oddly enough, Kees_lady, if I'm not mistaken, and if my memory hasn't failed me yet, a good portion of those hanging around the 'bar' don't really drink. And I can top your three years -- my last drink was in 1981.

Being silly is more fun when you're sober.

And fewer hangovers.

I cannot tell you how many times I've had someone ask me "are you drunk" when I was completely sober. I don't need booze either to make people think I am off my rocker, I just come by it naturally.

It does me as well...LOL

LOL
Hey, put me on the list too!!!!

Mi

Another silly question: what is DD? You can kick me but I don´t know.

Virtual chocolate - no cholesterole!
Virtual drinking - no hangovers!
So I would love to take one PBG, if there are still any.


- - - - - - - - - - -

Those are my initials. What do you need?

I know one D, from Damien. The other one stands for...?
and what happened to Sharona?

Downes. Good Irish name. And I never touched her. Hic.

So, today is my turn to take care of other people's car keys. just drop them over the counter, I will keep them in a secure place.

who'll be singing tonight?

Robotender, a soda, pls! And give another drink to my friend Damien Downes here!

...

Hic.

I think I know that guy.

...

His name is on my prescriptions.

-M

Hi! In addition to Damien Downes, it means Designated Driver! Since we are virtual drinkers only we have quite a group of volunteers. Myself - I think some of us would have trouble walkint a straight line without any drinking at all!

Now I am thirsty. I would like a Lemonade, please!

Him I dont know. Have you tried Baltimore? All things flow through Baltimore.

Isnt anyone serving drinks in here tonight?

...

And how come I taste floor?

Don't look a gifthorse in the mouth. When you pass out in a drinking establishment, you can wake up tasting a lot worse things than floor. You may have just dodged a bullet....

Is that what you ladies call it then? Hic. Colorful lexicon here on the Monk board; home of the plain brown parrots!

My ambulance paked in front of the bar, I gotta go now, fellows! Please, take care of the Irish buddy at the corner, give the penguins back to the MMMTB owner(s) and free the brown parrots!

G'nite!

Mi

I didnt get too toasted...didnt follow anyone home so I think I did great for my first major drinking binge...

I am wondering if I can get a great glass of wine...needing to relax...it is storming bad outside and I may need some help getting to sleep.

Him? He's one of our oldest members, don't truffle with Og, he's famous for almost killing off a friend.

A person can get a lot of mileage out of truffles but let Og explain his near fatal truffle disaster.

Nothing coming to my state flows through Baltimore, must be the east coast illegal trade route. Those PGBs are a lot like chips, no one can stop with just one.

So new name -M? Are we now suppose to call you 'that Irish dude.'

I found this joke -- and after all the talk about designated drivers, thought I'd share:

One evening, the local deputy scoped out a seedy joint for possible drunk drivers.

As he waited, eventually a guy stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk driver, so now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out of the lot.

A few hours passed by and most of the other patrons had left. Suddenly the guy lifts his head, cranks his car up and tears out of the parking lot.

The deputy followed him and stopped him promptly. He administered the breath-o-lizer test and it read 0.00.

Confused, the deputy asks the driver what is going on.

The driver explained "Well, tonight I'm the designated decoy."

<rimshot>

Well, okay -- I thought it was kinda' cute.

LOL!!! I liked that one. I needed a laugh this morning.

Since we have a bunch of non-drinkers hanging around this place, I thought I'd share some NA drink recipes I just found on a government site from Newfoundland-Labrador (no, I'm not making that up)

http://www.health.gov.nl.ca/health/commhlt...list/RECIPE.HTM

There's one called a "White Fuzzy Navel" I'll take one of those.

What do you mean I already have one?

Okay, who's the wise guy that's been reprogramming the robotic bartenders again?

I knew, that it was a silly question. Hey, who it was who kicked me?
Now I have a very silly feeling. I need this Pancalactic whatever drink, please. Does it help for sillyness?

To be in the virtual bar with nondrinkers, there is a interesting athmosphere. I cant drive a car, but maybe after a couple of PBGs I could try... just virtually! If anyone borrows car keys...


- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm a non-drinker too. I have two wine coolers or Mike's Hard Lemonades a year and the rest of the time, it's diet soda. The way my year is going, I may have one of my wine coolers in here.

I'm a non-drinker three. I have the occasional Budweiser with buddies and the rest of the time, it's milk or water with an occasional soda. I'm hoping to prevent pre-diabetes from becomming full-blown diabetes. The way my year is going, I may have one of my mental breakdowns in here.

Let's try it. Hrrrrr UHHH!! Nope - I'm still sane. I'll try again later lol.