<BfloGal wanders into the bar, and plops a wad of cash down on the counter>

"Gimme a Shirley Temple and keep 'em coming."

It's like this...

My mother called tonight. Okay you robo-bartenders may not know this, but my mother is dying. She has Lou Gehrig's disease, and she's been dying for almost ten years now.

Here's the thing. Tonight she told me that she was in the hospital last weekend and that she had a mild heart attack. The only thing was my step-dad called me and told me she was in the hospital, and it turned out to be a severe bladder infection. She contends that the nursing home she is in is not taking good care of her, and that my step-father isn't doing anything about getting her out. My step-dad says he is doing his best, and everything is full. He gave me a list of places he's called and visited in the last week, even though his health is not the best. They gave him 6 months to live back in 1988.

And I feel....I feel awfully tired of raising my parents.

I want to be the dutiful daughter taking care of her loving parents -- but that's just not my reality. These people were two of the worst excuses for parents I've ever seen in my life.

Have you ever crawled over a room full of hung over people to get yourself ready for school and pack your own lunch and get yourself off to the bus stop?

Have you ever been coached as to what to say when you get to the emergency room -- after they delayed taking you for hours?

Have you ever been pulled over on the way to the emergency room because the parent driving you is drunk?

Have you ever gotten all your clothes at the Goodwill because your parents drank and smoked and gambled their money away?

Have you ever raised a younger sibling?

Have you ever told your parents that they shouldn't have any more kids until they take care of the ones they have?

Have you ever listened to a tape recording (obtained by a private investigator hired by your step-father) where your mother tells her lover how much she hates you and all her children?

But now that she's dying she suddenly loves me (that's news -- I've never heard that before) ... and won't I file the fungus off her fingernails... run all over town and take care of her errands... find her a new nursing home.

When she was sick and living at home I would come over and clean, and change and wash her sheets, and brink quick meals to stock her freezer.

Now that she's in the home, I try to go visit her. I bring her the things she asks for. I make her special treats I know she likes. I've taken her shopping and out to eat. I've fed her a hot fudge sundae.

Neither of my brothers goes to see her at all.

But I'm so tired of all her games. I'm trying the best I can, because she's my mother.

But I'm not happy about it.

Yeah. I get that.

It's so familiar it hurts to read about it really.

And you know, it's hard enough to be a good 'kid' without having to put up with thier ...'stuff' at the same time.

You'll thank yourself later - in the form of an eased conscience.

Otherwise it just sucks.

Stay strong and be true to yourself. If you damage yourself by over-extending yourself you'll just have one more thing to resent.

But there isnt much more I can say on the subject and still be honest with myself and by default - you.

<understanding hug>

-M

Holy Moly. Sounds like a carbon copy of what one of my friends just went through, right down to the shirley temples. Well, you're in the right place for having the blues. I'm sending you 3 O'Clock Blues, by BB King.

Sorry just seeing this today, but the few I know you, I can tell you are the strongest, caring, cheerful, funny and the most amazing elder sis I have! Keep you head up, letting the sun kiss your face. You deserve to be sorrounded by happiness, so I am sending a bit to you right now,
with a hug.

Mi

Sorry just seeing this today, but the few I know you, I can tell you are the strongest, caring, cheerful, funny and the most amazing elder sis I have! Keep you head up, letting the sun kiss your face. You deserve to be sorrounded by happiness, so I am sending a bit to you right now,
with a hug.

Mi

Sorry just seeing this today, but the few I know you, I can tell you are the strongest, caring, cheerful, funny and the most amazing elder sis I have! Keep you head up, letting the sun kiss your face. You deserve to be sorrounded by happiness, so I am sending a bit to you right now,
with a hug.

Mi

Thanks Mi...love it!....Bflogal...I'm sending you a big hug too!

I LOVE NACHOS!!!

Hugs and Shirley Temples really do work!

Outlook is much better today. I was able to get the applications to the different homes my mother was interested in online, (on my couch in my jammies) and checked the state health department reports on those homes to make sure she wasn't going to be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

So Shirley Temples are on the house (Can't you hear those little tap shoes through the ceiling?) and I'll throw in an order of nachos for everybody. You guys are great!

Shirley Temples? Can't I have something a little stronger, especially after the drama of this day?? Chocolate martini perhaps? Wait, chocolate martini and nachos together? Gross. Eh, forget the nachos and just give me the martini.

I can handle a wine cooler or a Mike's hard lemonade. The nachos are a "go." Is there a live band in the lounge today? Anyone?

Hugs and Shirley Temples really do work!

Outlook is much better today. I was able to get the applications to the different homes my mother was interested in online, (on my couch in my jammies) and checked the state health department reports on those homes to make sure she wasn't going to be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

So Shirley Temples are on the house (Can't you hear those little tap shoes through the ceiling?) and I'll throw in an order of nachos for everybody. You guys are great!

Hi, there!

I´ll come here later, to give you some "caipirinhas" (for the ones who appreciate alcoholic drinks) and some cold-coffe drinks ( for the non-alcoholic ones). Ok, Caipirinha is a typical drink over here, made by "cachassa" (alcool from the sugar cane), lemon, sugar and ice cubes...you should taste it! Even I´m not drinking alchool, I can make pretty good drinks!!!!
And I will also bring some guys with me, they can play whatever you like. And, yes, they are all hansome, different ages for different tastes, girls!!
And yes, Mandeville, there will be three gorgeous backing vocals, pretty gorgeous!

Hope to see you all around here later!!!!


PS: you might invite Monk, it´s my trade tonight!!!

hugs
Mi

Holy Moly. Sounds like a carbon copy of what one of my friends just went through, right down to the shirley temples. Well, you're in the right place for having the blues. I'm sending you 3 O'Clock Blues, by BB King.

ai....

My nose is cold.

Why don´t we have a bonnet, or gloves, just for the nose???

*(sniff)*
Michele holds her nose with one hand, and types with the other one

Oh, God, My nose is soooo cold....

Sounds familiar to me too. My mother also had Lou Gehrigs ( spelling ?) after I got out of school I would have to take care of her until my father got home from work at 11:30pm ,unless he decided to go out drinking with friends after work. It was pretty hard to try to get through high school with all this going on. I was very responsible for that age and felt like I had to hold the home life together, no other siblings at home just me. Its tough thats for sure. Try to keep smiling

Those who have resumed the revelry, don't let me stop you. I'll just go into a quiet corner booth to reply to 4thecaptain. Of course if anyone else wants to hang out in the corner booth, you're welcome. We're all friends here.

That's hard. I think my mother's illness hit my youngest brother the hardest. He's twenty-two years younger than I (long story) and was still in his teens when she got sick. There was no way that I, living over a half-hours drive away could keep the family together. Everybody just exploded in all directions. For a while we tried to keep holiday dinners together. For a couple of years I cooked and brought everything over to my mother's house. And then my husband and I did all the clean-up. When that became impossible, I invited everyone over to my house. My brothers refused to come.

I don't think my youngest brother has seen my mother in over four years. Neither of my brothers talk to me. It must seem to them that ignoring the fact they have a family is the simplest solution. I can't really blame them too much. I'm tempted to do the same thing sometimes. But since I practically raised my middle brother, that is hard on me.

It's not the work that's hard. My mother was the one who actually decided to go into a nursing home after a fall that led to a broken arm. It's just hard to carry on what needs to be a labor of love when the love has just never been there. So, in a very real way, I have chosen to love her. To treat her, as much as is humanly possible, as if she were the mother that she could have been -- the kind of mother that all kids really have a right to, but so few of us really get.

And maybe, just maybe we can start a new family tradition of better parenting.

I am sorry you are in a situation like this! Why can't families just work together?? There's always so much conflict. I can relate to you and your brother. There is almost 18 years between my brother and I so I feel like he's more my son than brother.

Your family wouldn't happen to be hillbillies would they? LOL I just ask because mine is. My grandmother is one of 12. My grandpa is one of 10. My mother once said if she had the money she would have had a dozen. Crazy woman.

I am sorry you are in a situation like this! Why can't families just work together?? There's always so much conflict. I can relate to you and your brother. There is almost 18 years between my brother and I so I feel like he's more my son than brother.

Actually my youngest brother was born almost nine months to the date after my own wedding. My grandmother always blamed that one on the fact that we didn't serve any alcohol -- anyone want another Shirley Temple?

Three kids, two bedrooms, no sharing. We were never particularly close since we never lived in the same house.

Oh, and Yvette -- my Grandma was one of 13 -- German/Hungarian - so it's not limited to Italians and hicks.

Actually my youngest brother was born almost nine months to the date after my own wedding. My grandmother always blamed that one on the fact that we didn't serve any alcohol -- anyone want another Shirley Temple?

Three kids, two bedrooms, no sharing. We were never particularly close since we never lived in the same house.

Oh, and Yvette -- my Grandma was one of 13 -- German/Hungarian - so it's not limited to Italians and hicks.

Those who have resumed the revelry, don't let me stop you. I'll just go into a quiet corner booth to reply to 4thecaptain. Of course if anyone else wants to hang out in the corner booth, you're welcome. We're all friends here.

That's hard. I think my mother's illness hit my youngest brother the hardest. He's twenty-two years younger than I (long story) and was still in his teens when she got sick. There was no way that I, living over a half-hours drive away could keep the family together. Everybody just exploded in all directions. For a while we tried to keep holiday dinners together. For a couple of years I cooked and brought everything over to my mother's house. And then my husband and I did all the clean-up. When that became impossible, I invited everyone over to my house. My brothers refused to come.

I don't think my youngest brother has seen my mother in over four years. Neither of my brothers talk to me. It must seem to them that ignoring the fact they have a family is the simplest solution. I can't really blame them too much. I'm tempted to do the same thing sometimes. But since I practically raised my middle brother, that is hard on me.

It's not the work that's hard. My mother was the one who actually decided to go into a nursing home after a fall that led to a broken arm. It's just hard to carry on what needs to be a labor of love when the love has just never been there. So, in a very real way, I have chosen to love her. To treat her, as much as is humanly possible, as if she were the mother that she could have been -- the kind of mother that all kids really have a right to, but so few of us really get.

And maybe, just maybe we can start a new family tradition of better parenting.

Your family wouldn't happen to be hillbillies would they? LOL I just ask because mine is. My grandmother is one of 12. My grandpa is one of 10. My mother once said if she had the money she would have had a dozen. Crazy woman.

You need a scarf. A thick, wooly winter thing from my youth that you could cover your lower face with and let hang about your shoulders.

They were sooooo warm on the cold days...

<sending you a mental scarf>

-M

Michele, timidly raising her hand:
I...I would love to have 5 kids.....I was grown surrounded by 5 cousins and 1 bro and 1 sis, elder then me. We had such a great time! My family - tks GOD! - is very close, and I really almost scare my husband when I told him I wanted 5 kids....but something got wrong... we have one only. But I am not sad, I really love this little one we have and I thank God everyday for allowing me to raise one little angel with, hopefully, wisdom, love and joy!
...but I am 34 only...still have chance to have at least one more.....

Mi

Michele, timidly raising her hand:
I...I would love to have 5 kids.....I was grown surrounded by 5 cousins and 1 bro and 1 sis, elder then me. We had such a great time! My family - tks GOD! - is very close, and I really almost scare my husband when I told him I wanted 5 kids....but something got wrong... we have one only. But I am not sad, I really love this little one we have and I thank God everyday for allowing me to raise one little angel with, hopefully, wisdom, love and joy!
...but I am 34 only...still have chance to have at least one more.....

Mi

-Damien

I thought about the scarf, but then it will make my voice muffled, and I would stop talking.....wait! Do I smell some sarcarm in your post????


Hugs
Mi

Mi - I have no doubts that when it is important or it matters you will make your voice heard loudly and clearly, no matter how funny I dress you.

-M

LOL!!
...somehow you sound like my hubbie, when I am screaming out of tune some music around the house.....

Hugs
Mi

Somehow that came off like a compliment, so - thank you!

-M

Got in to the board, then dumped out, then couldn't get back in for 10 minutes, and it's loading painfully slow. Mmkay, I'll try not to take that personal....

Does anyone know if you can get viruses on message boards? If you can, you might want to make sure you're all protected. When I was on this morning, I had all kinds of trouble. I kept getting these wierd pop-ups, and then my anti-virus software identified two trojan horses. Then some third-party software tried to hijack my internet explorer. It only happened when I was on the USA board.

I had to rescan and reboot before everything seems to straigten out. It may not be the board. It might just be coincidence since I do spend a lot of time here.

No, it's the board. The only trouble I had, internet ise tonight, is on this site. E-Bay, Yahoo and Mandevilleisgroovy.org are all just fine. <smirk>

-M

I asked my daughter (who by virtue of being a teenager) is more web savvy than her mother. She doesn't think you can get viruses on message boards. I surmised this when she rolled her eyes at the question.

I asked my daughter (who by virtue of being a teenager) is more web savvy than her mother. She doesn't think you can get viruses on message boards. I surmised this when she rolled her eyes at the question.

Ask her if there could be a virus on the message board server.

-M

Any server can get a virus, so says my savvy unmarried daughter. ... It's really hard to read and type between the lines.

My eccentric unmarried self agrees.

-M

out loud!

Hey buddy, is your friend, Harvey the same Harvey as the Harvey Jimmy Stewart had for a friend?

Ask her if there could be a virus on the message board server.

-M

My windows shut down last night. Something was trying to run, but the whole thing was frozen. I took it to a PC shop this morning and the guy got it unstuck again. WHEW! and for free. which was great. That's a lot of us to be having trouble all at once. Should it be reported?