Ok, I gotta answer this one. I had a good response to it, but I had to go to work and didn't have time to post it:

Q: Ok, you asked Natalie not to ask you about it, but.... what did you have to trade in for that hobos´s coat?

A - (closes eyes and shrieks).....don't make me tell you....oh please, don't make me tell you. Oohhh, the humanity!!



You know what looks exhausting - food touching each other. C'mon people!! Use seperate plates...it's better in the long run. You'll thank me later.

Question: How is it like shooting someone? Would you like to carry a gun all the time?

A- Shooting someone....it´s a matter of life......and death...

Q- Do you still wish to be reinstated or this just loose it´s meaning now, that yu are a great consultant?

A- It would be nice... To have my badge again. When I'm ready. Or at least... To have the option to go back. Of course... Natalie will have to go through the academy... you know, so she can, you know, still work for me. Close-bye. While I'm... Back on the force. But I wont have to pay her then, because she'll get a paycheck ... like everybody else.

Q- How would life be different if you had kept Varla as your nurse/assistant?

A- I was so afraid of her, I would probably be huddled in a corner somewhere saying, lobby, lobby, lobby.

Q.How often do you bring out the Trudy pillow?

A. I bring it out every time i feel lonely, which is everyday.

Q.Are you afraid of trains and toilet seats?

A. Yes. I think everyone should be. I mean, because trains can easily fall apart or break down in the middle of nowhere. And toilet seats are packed full of germs, I can't understand why anyone would even want to sit their bottom down on that. But, toilet seats on trains? That's double fear right there. I'm not even going to think about that one.

Q. If you had the chance to be Randy Disher for a day, would you?

!chik!

Randy? Randy Disher? Well no, of course not. But I do admire him. He has a badge, He is a cop. I was a cop once.

Well... That's when I point and say "You're the guy." Or... "He's the guy." ... Sometimes... I say "There goes the guy." ... Wait... i dont think I've ever really said that last one.

Q- Dont you think you and Harold should do the three legged race together at the community picknic next week?

Q- Dont you think you and Harold should do the three legged race together at the community picknic next week?
[/quote]

A: Harold and I?? Have you ever talked to Harold? He hates me! And besides, I could out run him any day.



Q: Where would you like to go on vacation?

Q: Where would you like to go on vacation?


Next vacation...well, I could make it to Grand Canyon, I think, than get good samples of rocks and spend the rest of my vacation polishing them.... That would be great!



Q- Mr Monk, why you didn´t freak out when Natalie kissed you all over the face when she found you at that Nevada car wash??

Because I knew she had wipes. Anything is okay as long as wipes are availible.

Q: If paid a million dollars, would you go a whole week without cleaning?

!chik!

A. Could you arrange for me to be in a coma? Then yes, definitely yes.

Q. Do you like the way Natalie dresses?


Sorry about forgetting the question yesterday. UMMM Duhhhhh. Good recovery M. LOL.

A: Yes, she dresses fairly modest. What I don't like, however, is when she gets that occasional tiny ball of lint on her clothes. I mean, I know nobody's perfect, but still...gosh, the lieast she could do is get a lint roller for that.

Q: If Trudy were still alive, would you have liked to have kids?

!chik!

Q: If Trudy were still alive, would you have liked to have kids?

!chik!
[/quote]


A: We talked about it. Trudy always told me I would make a good Father, and that our children would have a happy life, not like mine. I wish I had told her yes.


Q: What is your favorite candy?

A. Candy! Are you kidding, didn`t you see what that dentist tried to do to me? No candy!
Q.Would you like your Dad to visit again?

Q.Would you like your Dad to visit again?
[/quote]


A: My Dad?? Well, yeah. I mean after a while we started to get along okay. When he realized he could be proud of me. He also taught me how to ride a bike, all by myself.


Q: If you had't become a police officer, what would you have wanted to do for a living?

A- A police officer...that´s what I am ...I was....I am... that´s what I do... best....besides cleaning....well....maybe a butler.....housekeeper.....car washer........

________

Q- Keeping the track, what would you never do for a living?

A- Own a strip club. I could never look at those naked women, I`m married you know. I ony saw myself naked once.
Q-Would you like to go back to Vegas and win more money at Blackjack?

A. That's a good question. Natalie thinks I can't handle it. I don't want to tempt fate. I'm going to pass.

Q. Are you a good chess player?

A: I was on the chess team, wasn't I?? I consider myself to be a good chess player, but it is kind of boring....you might not like it.


Q: What kind of toothpaste do you use?

A- Wanna bet?

__________________

(this is a very deep one!)
Q - If you were to be in a desert island, who do you wanna take with you?

(this is a very deep one!)
Q - If you were to be in a desert island, who do you wanna take with you?
[/quote]


A: Well, of course I would want to take Trudy's pictures. I would also want Natalie to come with me, I will still need an assistant. I would also need Dr. Bell, I have to have someone to talk to.



Q: What is it like living next to Kevin??

A- My Trudy pillow and memories of her, that`s not a person so I guess Natalie.

Q. If you had to live with Harold or Marci Maven, who would you choose, yes you have to choose one.

A. Monk is shrugging, batting his hands around, twisting, the question is so distasteful.
"I could never live with Harold -he's a sick man. It would have to be Marci. Would it have to be Marci (slight whining - more shrugging and twisitng)

Q. Is there ever such a thing as a good murder? Could there be a murder that balances out the universe?

A. That's a good question, actually. You see, even numbers are good. Odd numbers are bad. So, if the worl dpopulation ever got to be to an odd number, I say we kill atleast one person to get it back down to an even number. So yes, a good murder indeed.

Q. Have you ever though about wearing a different color BUT brown?

!chik!

LOL Great answer!

A. Sometimes I wear gray. Or white. At my wedding I wore black. Trudy really liked my tux.

Q. How do you polish Hush Puppies? Aren't they suede shoes?

A - What you mean, hush puppies? suede shoes?? Just step of them, will ya?
_________

Q- Mr Monk, what do you sing at the shower?

Actually, the shower is a very dangerous place. A lot of people, sing, or hum, but that's no good. Most accidents in the home happen around the bathroom. The shower... I dont sing there. I just put on my harness, and step very cautiously in to the tub, on to the rubber gripper lines in the bottom, I tie off the suspension ropes and just scrub with the appropriate sponges, brushes and soaps. No singing.

Q- Would Harold and Marci Maven be a good match in your mind Mr. Monk?

A-Oh...yes. They are both so obsessive and the stalker personality type. I wish Harold would just see that Doctor Kroeger likes me more.

Q-Have you ever had an afro?

!chik!

P.S. Thanks Monkophile1!

There were these musicians. Rap. They, they did the rap. And I... It's a little hazy, but... The fitted me for a teeth... they called it a grill, like a car. A grill. Not like a barbeque. But, well... There was some... It um... It got .. Hairy. Natalie, natalie had to fix it. And she... I had a little comb they gave me. It was called a pick. I dont know why. But Natalie took my pick.

Q: Have you ever stolen anything - aside from Trudy's heart?

A: Stolen? Well, there was this one time, when I was standing in a parking lot across watching the other kids play from across the street. I picked up a couple of rocks to take home and polish. I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't resist.



Q: What would you do if Natalie left?

A: I'd go with her... Until she came back. She works for me. It's a lifetime arrangement. (Which is odd because we're on USA.)

Q: Is there anything in the future that couldpossibly measure up to the joy you found in loving Trudy?

A: I don´t think so. You knew, when I found in loving Trudy ... such happens just once in your lifetime. You cannot compare anything with it. Everything was in order, everything was just right. Everything was, as it was meant to be. Nothing has been like that after Trudy was gone.


Q: Why you have to touch lamps, posts, parking meters and so on, when you are out from your home?



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A - why haven´t you?

_________

Q- Why, with all million different options, you foolishly choose to pick up "Leland" as your fake name, when working at that car wash??

A: It was like an instict. Leland is my best friend, I think that's why.

Q: Have you been at the dentist's after the case with the murder at dentist's?

A: Me go back to the dentist? Did you see what that dentist tried to do to me. I am suprised anyone goes to the dentist. I will never go back!



Q: Do you like to dance?

A: Not often. Sometimes, I have a happy dance... That just leaps out. But it's... it's not much. It's like a jig. But not.

Q: Do you ever think about starting a cleaning service in your spare time?

A- Yes, I think about it a lot. First I want to clean Ambrose house, then Natalie`s, then I need to go down and clean quinfran`s condo, it really needs it! After that,
the sky is the limit.
Q- Have you ever gone out to see a movie? If so, what was it?

A - You knew, I´m not a big movie watcher, it is just not me. The movie theaters are dark places, full of unknown people, some of them really near you... and doors are closed. Yes, I was in movies once, with Trudy. It was a black-and-white movie, a love story... Casablanca, I remember, a sad movie... but real life is not at all like a movie, what you think?

Q - How you felt to be The Monk?


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

A- If you mean when I took that funky medicine well, it felt good at first. I felt like I was flying, I could do anything. But, Trudy wouldn`t come to me anymore so then I started feeling down. It was bringing The Monk down, a big L-7, that`s what I started to feel like. LOSER!
Q-How did it feel when that Big Rat jumped on your shoulder? Remember when you were in the sewer, trying to save Sharona`s life?

A: Sharona... Sharona said that was just a dream and... Ohhh... She was lying. So I guess I feel... Weird. <huffing and wiping at shoulder> Get it off. Get it off. It was just a dream! Oh, God. Sharona... <weeping> It was real. A real rat. I need to burn that jacket... and maybe my shoulder...

Q: Do you ever let Natalie handle your scissors?

A: No! No! Are you crazy? She already stabbed one guy with scissors, she could very easily just turn around on me and stab me!

Q: Do you get annoyed at Julie's friends calling and asking for julie from YOUR number?

!chik!

Not as much since she got s cell phone and it stopped happening, no.

Q: Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched? By millions of pairs of prying eyes, following your every move until you smile and say "That's the guy" only to have the half eyes dash off for soda and pretzles and rush back for the 'here's how he did it"?

A: I do get that feeling. I don't really know why. I feel like my whole life is being broadcast for everyone to see. How did you know I felt this way?


Q: Would you ever consider getting another computer?

A: No. No. No. Nah, No. well, maybe, is it a dell?...No.

Q: What's your favorite tv show and is it on channel 10 or 100?

A. My favorite tv show is an info-mercial on channel 50. Its about this mop that is truly amazing. It cleans beautifully - really it takes your breath away. I have three, but I am giving everyone I know one for Christmas. They'll thank me later.

Q. Did Inspector 8 ever get back to her usual standard of work?

A. Inspector number 8, yeah, she's great. Did you know I actually met her? It was an honor. And since I cleared her son of a murder charge she personally double-inspects my shirts and sends them to me by mail, which is great, because it saves money.

Q. Tell the truth... what do you really think of Kevin Dorfman?

A- Kevin is ok, however he does get on my nerves. Can you believe this guy? He remembers every time he ate egg salad. Now, really, who does that? I do have to say , he has been a good friend to me. Of course, I did save his life.

Q- Do you still ride the bike your Dad gave you for Christmas?

A: No, when I learned to ride it it got some nature on it. My Dad tried to clean it up, but it just smeared it around. I had to get rid of the bike.


Q: Are you ever going to go back and visit Trudy's parents again?

A: Yeah, sure. I visit them every year. You knew this, didn't you? Since I solved the case, every time I'm there, I read Trudy's diary. She is a great wife. She was...

Q: Do you know where Karen is now?


[edit]

Oh, my post is no 100 Great feeling, really.

And Congratulations to History08 - you've just become an Old Hand