A chapter a week?? I'm lucky if I manage a chapter ever 2 weeks to a month, and I don't have a teenager. Of course, I blame it all on Mike or Bobby, depending on who is or isn't talking at the time I'm ready to put word to paper!

So, if you have chapter 5 off to spook, we should have something to read early this week, right? I'm about half way through my latest chapter, so maybe next weekend before I get posted, if I'm lucky.

Well, I'm not too happy with the corner I've painted myself into right now. Hopefully I can get myself out of it with this next chapter and move back in the direction I originally wanted to go. May have to map out the next several chapters to help keep things on track, otherwise I'll be up to 100 chapters and not be where I had originally imagined taking this story. *sigh*.......

Judy -- I'm with you on her chapter a week thing. Course, I have 2 kids and a hubby to occupy my time. Also, my parents are coming this weekend and that has put me in a cleaning frenzy.......

Too bad you don't live closer, Cousin....I would try to direct some of that cleaning frenzy towards my apartment. Although I've discovered that having a teenager who is grounded and desperately wants off grounding a day early is a great motivator to get some cleaning out of her!

Thank you Spook!

Mike Logan stepped out of the shower and dried off. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he stood in front of the mirror and spread shaving cream over his five o’clock shadow. It had been a while since he had needed to shave in the evening. Since Valentine’s Day to be exact, he thought wryly. Five months since he had last been on a date with Sarah. Five months since he had been on a date. He tried to remember the last time he had gone that long without a date. Only once, long ago. After the relationship that he thought would last “until death do us part” had ended.

It was another dark-haired, dark-eyed woman who had stolen his heart back then, and who had broken his heart when she left. He hadn’t dated for a year back then, and when he did he threw himself headlong into it, going out with almost every beautiful woman within his sphere. He enjoyed women and they enjoyed him. In the beginning he had rarely dated a woman more than two or three times. He wouldn’t have articulated it, or even admitted it to himself, but he needed to guard his heart. Later, he had several “semi-long-term” relationships; none made it past six months, few made it that long. Still he guarded his heart, unwilling to expose himself to the kind of pain he experienced when she left.

Until Sarah. Even now he smiled as he remembered her long, dark hair, her laughing eyes, and the way it took his breath away every time she blushed. And that made him shake his head at his own foolishness as he wiped remains of the shaving cream from his face. What had been so special about her? What was it that caused images of her laughing to invade his thoughts while he was at a crime scene? What was it that triggered the need to make up excuses to go into the city so that he could take her to lunch? What was it that produced a desire to mine the depths of her thoughts, desires, secret joys and pain?

They only dated for four months. They had now been apart longer than they were together. Which was part of the reason he decided to introduce himself to Gina that day on the ferry. He had seen her several times and finally decided it was time to put thoughts of Sarah behind him. He enjoyed talking to Gina that day, and the next, and the next. She was a nurse in a prison, so she understood about the kind of people he came into contact with on a daily basis. She was studying to be a paramedic and Mike admired her determination. Tonight would be their first date.

******************************************************************

“Mommy, look!” Jia Li squealed with delight as she squeezed the bath toy and it squirted water all over her mother’s face.

“Jia Li, stop that!” Sarah Johnson laughed at her daughter as she tried to finish bathing the squirming little body. Once she had her out of the tub and wrapped in a thick towel, she hugged her and kissed her wet cheek. She dried her off and helped her dress in “Little Mermaid” pajamas. Once Jia Li was settled and in bed, Sarah read to her until she fell asleep. Going to her own bedroom, she stopped and looked at herself in the full-length mirror on the bathroom door. She sighed as she smoothed her hands over her body, lamenting the weight she had put on in the years since she graduated from college.

Sarah had received a phone call last week from Jerry, an old friend of hers and Tony’s. He moved to California after college and she had lost track of him, although he sent flowers and a very nice card when Tony died. Jerry recently moved back to New York and had called to talk about old times. They talked for two hours and Sarah enjoyed laughing with someone who had known her when she was young and in love. Jerry finally asked if she would go to dinner with him and she agreed. But now, with the date looming the next night, she was nervous and wondered if she had made a mistake.

She hadn’t dated since she and Mike agreed to stop seeing one another. The thought of Mike caused a little stab of regret. She wondered what he was doing, if he was dating anyone. She shook her head and mentally ordered herself to get over it. She and Mike weren’t star-crossed lovers; they had only dated briefly. Time to move on, Sarah, she told herself firmly. She sighed as she opened her closet door to pick out a dress for tomorrow night’s date.

******************************************************************
“What are you doing here this time of night? We always see you during the day,” Olivia said as Annie began collecting supplies and called for two orderlies.

“I’m just picking up some extra shifts since my husband’s knee surgery.”

“Oh yeah,” said Elliot. “I heard that Goren messed up his knee. How is he?”

“Oh, he’s recovering nicely from the surgery. But being cooped up is driving him crazy. And me along with him,” Annie laughed. “He can’t even drive yet, so he’s pretty much a prisoner at home unless I take him somewhere.”

Elliot and Olivia laughed with her. Annie sent the orderlies off to the Obstetric and Pediatric departments to gather plastic bathtubs, bathing supplies, and patient gowns and pants for the children. She also had them bring back extra pairs of scrubs for herself and the detectives as she thought they would probably need to change clothes before they were done.

Elliot bathed Sammie and Olivia bathed Judy. They were able to get more information from them about their mother and about how they lived. The children were starving for attention and eager to talk about anything the adults wanted. Annie bathed first Mikey and then Susie. As she bathed them, she talked to them in a gentle tone and sang songs that her children had enjoyed when they were small.

Mikey’s eyes never left Annie’s face as she bathed him. She was able to elicit a laugh or coax him to say a few words, but for the most part he simply stared at her in fascination. When she had finished with him and dressed him in the pajamas from Pediatrics, he sat on the counter next to her as she bathed the baby. Susie responded very little to Annie’s songs or talk. She lay passively, not splashing the water as Annie’s children had at that age. Annie was not able to elicit even a small smile from the baby; she simply stared solemnly at Annie.

After the children were bathed and lotion applied for the scabies, they were dressed in clean clothes. The doctor came in to examine them and pronounced them reasonably healthy, although small for their ages. Annie sent orderlies for formula for the baby, and milk and cereal for the older other three. The three of them settled in with the children; Olivia gave Susie a bottle, while Annie fed Mikey, and Elliot helped Judy and Sammie. Mikey’s vocabulary was limited and Annie tried to teach him several words, including her name, “Aaannnee.”

Olivia was finally able to reach a Child Welfare Services social worker; she reported Children’s Services would be unable to pick the kids up until morning, so Annie had cribs for Susie and Mikey and pediatric beds for Judy and Sammie brought in. She also had an orderly bring children’s books down from Pediatrics. Susie dropped off to sleep immediately. Olivia and Elliot left, saying they would be in early to check on them. Annie sat in a rocking chair and read the books, with Mikey snuggled in her lap and Judy and Sammie listening from their beds. Mikey fell asleep in her lap and she gently placed him in the crib.

Annie stayed with the kids until morning, leaving the other nurses to cover the ER. Mikey woke up crying a few times, but settled down when Annie sang to him. Judy woke up early, before the others. Although Annie felt it was not her job to elicit information from the children and was careful not to ask any questions, Judy seemed to want to talk about Mommy and Mommy’s boyfriends.

“Mommy said I’m a big girl and I’m in charge of the little ones when she isn’t there,” she confided. It seemed that Judy was in charge a lot. “I tried to feed them, but sometimes the food ran out before Mommy came home.”

“What school do you go to,” Annie asked. Judy told her she had never been to school, and couldn’t read or write her name. Annie thought about her own children; how she and Bobby had read to them constantly when they were babies and toddlers; how they had learned to write their names, the alphabet, and simple words before they started school, not because their parents pushed them to learn but because they had learned to love books and reading and couldn’t wait to learn. She hugged the little girl who had never been given a chance to have a childhood.

“Mikey misses Mommy the most when she’s gone. He wakes up at night crying for her. I just hug him and tell him she’ll be back soon. Susie doesn’t cry, hardly ever.”

The others began to wake up, and Annie had some breakfast brought in. Judy was right; Susie never cried once, although she eagerly took the bottle when Annie fed her. Mikey wouldn’t let Annie out of his sight. He followed her around the room and held onto her pant leg. He tried to repeat words, and discovered that “Aaaaneee” was one word that got a smile from her each time he said it. It was time for Annie to go home, but she called Bobby to tell him she needed to stay over for a while. He told her that the children were ready for school and were eating their breakfast. He was still unable to drive, so Janey would be taking them to school. He assured her that she could take as long as she needed.

Elliot and Olivia returned and introduced her to the social worker, Lily Sherman. They told her that the mother was in custody; it would be up to DA whether to bring charges. Annie told them what Judy had shared with her, and then asked what would happen to them. Lily said that they would try to keep kids together. The only thing available right then was an emergency shelter; she would try to find a foster home for all four as soon as possible.

“I want to take them in,” Annie said impulsively.

“Well, it’s hard for foster parents who work to take in so many children,” the social worker said. “And with babies, we prefer that one parent be at home.”

Annie thought for moment, looking down at Mikey still clinging to her leg and the other three children with Olivia and Elliot.

“My husband is off work right now because of a knee injury.”

Lily shook her head sympathetically. “I know you want to help these children, Annie. But how can your husband take care of a baby with an injured knee?”

“He should be off the crutches soon, and Susie is so small; I doubt that it would hurt his knee to pick her up. Once he’s ready to go back to work, I can take a leave of absence and stay home with them.”

“Look,” Lily said with a sigh. “This isn’t a decision you should make hastily. Why don’t you talk to your husband? If the two of you think this is something you want to do, give me a call and we can start the paperwork. It takes about a month to process.”

“No, they are already comfortable with me and they are going to be scared if you warehouse them in that emergency shelter. You can do an emergency placement with us, can’t you? Until our paperwork is processed? I mean, my husband is a detective with the NYPD, and I’m a nurse…can’t you rush the paperwork?”

The woman looked at Annie for a moment and then took out her card and wrote an address on the back. “This is where I will be taking the children. If your husband agrees, meet me there today at eleven. We will let your husband and the kids get to know one another and I’ll explain the regulations and get the paperwork started.”

Annie smiled gratefully at her and took the card. She knelt down to tell the children goodbye. Mikey wrapped his arms around her neck and began crying mournfully. Annie hugged him tightly and told him that she would come to see them in just a little while. But Mikey just held onto her tighter and finally Elliot had to gently pry him away from her. Listening to his wails grow fainter as they left the hospital, she thought her heart might shatter.

She rushed home and arrived after Janey had picked the kids up for school. Bobby was in the kitchen, cleaning the breakfast dishes. She went in and hugged him tightly, feeling the comfort of his strong arms around her and his chest against her cheek. Bobby didn’t say anything, he simply held her. Finally she looked up at him. He smiled down at her, his dark brown eyes full of tenderness, before lowering his head to kiss her.

“Bobby, will you go somewhere with me this morning?”

“Sure, where are we going?”

Annie averted her gaze. “Will you go with me without knowing the answer to that question?”

Bobby put a finger under her chin and tilted her head back so she was looking into his eyes. He kissed her again.

“Anywhere, Babe,” he said softly.

“Thank you,” she said, squeezing her arms more tightly around his waist.

“Especially if you want to take me upstairs,” he said, grinning at her.

Annie laughed and pulled away. “Maybe later; right now I need to get a quick shower and change my clothes.”

“Need some help?”

“Somehow I think that if you help, it won’t be quick.”

“No, but I’ll make it worth your time.”

“Stop! I really need to get showered and changed. We are meeting someone at eleven.”

Bobby frowned slightly. “You’ve been working all night. Shouldn’t you get some sleep?”

“Later,” she said. “I don’t work tonight or tomorrow, so I’ll catch up on my sleep later.”

After showering and changing cloths, Annie helped Bobby into the SUV and drove to the address that the social worker had given her. She saw Bobby’s curiosity when they pulled up in front of the big house; but he didn’t ask any questions, waiting patiently for her to explain what they were doing there. Inside the house, she introduced him to Lily Sherman. Lily led them to a large play room that was used for family visits; she told them to make themselves comfortable and she would be back in a few minutes. Annie helped Bobby to get settled on the couch. He looked questioningly at her. Taking a deep breath, Annie began to tell him the story.

“Last night, Detectives Benson and Stabler brought four children in to the ER. They had found them alone in a basement apartment. The mother had left them alone and evidently is in the habit of doing that. They are all small and underweight for their ages. The oldest one is eight and has never been to school. The youngest is around nine or ten months. They found her wedged in a sofa bed and she still has welts on her stomach. They stayed in the ER all night. We bathed them and fed them, and I took care of them until the detectives showed up with the social worker this morning. The mother has been arrested and now the kids are going into foster care.”

“Poor kids,” he said softly. “But what does that have to do with us being here right now?”

Annie lowered her gaze. “They are such sweet children. I….I just wanted you to meet them.”

Bobby frowned and tilted his head to the side, trying to make eye contact with her.

“What are you up to, Annie?”

She was saved from answering when the doors opened and Lily came in carrying Susie, the other three children in her wake. When Mikey saw Annie, he immediately ran towards her, launching himself onto her lap before she could get up from the couch. He wrapped his arms around her neck and sobbed. Lily brought the other three children over and introduced them to Bobby. He held out his hands for Susie, situating her on his lap. Once Mikey had calmed down, Annie introduced him as well.

Sammy climbed onto the couch between Bobby and Annie while Judy sat next to Annie, peeking over shyly at the big man holding Susie. Annie asked Judy to bring her some of the books in the bookcase and she began reading to them. Before long, Judy had migrated over to sit next to Bobby. Annie set the books down and they just talked with the children. With his gentle questioning, Judy and Sammy, in guileless manner, were eager to tell Bobby all about their home, their mother, and her many boyfriends. There seemed to be no reason to suspect that any of them had been molested, nor had their mother ever hit them or been otherwise physically abusive. But her neglect of them, both physically and emotionally, was more than evident. Mikey did not say any words, but he too responded to Bobby by smiling shyly at him from the safety of Annie’s lap.

In the next room, watching through the two-way mirror on the wall, Lily took notes of all the details that Judy and Sammy revealed. She shook her head in wonder. Rather than being frightened of the big man, the children had opened up to him and told him more than they had told herself or her trained staff members. She was even more surprised as she watched him interact with the baby. Rather than speaking to her in a sing-song baby voice, he sat her on his lap so that she was facing him and spoke to her in soft, gentle tones, as though she were a small adult. Susie watched him solemnly, as she did all adults. But Lily saw a smile light up her face for one brief moment as she looked up at Bobby. It was gone as quickly as it had appeared, but it was the only emotion the baby had revealed since the detectives first found her stuck in the sofa bed.

She instructed the other staff that the room was in use and not to interrupt Bobby and Annie with the children. At lunchtime, she took lunch in for them all and Bobby and Annie ate with the children. Mikey refused to leave Annie’s lap. After lunch, Judy and Sammy colored pictures at the table, and Mikey fell asleep in Annie’s lap. After she ate a few bites of finger foods, Bobby fed a bottle to Susie and she, too, fell asleep. They sat for a while, holding the sleeping babies and watching the older children as they colored. Staff members came in and took the sleeping children so they could put them to bed. Bobby and Annie told Judy and Sammy goodbye as they also went off to take naps. Lily asked them to come to her office.

“Well,” she said after they were all seated. “I have the paperwork all ready for you to fill out and I think that I can get an emergency placement while we wait for it the paperwork to make its way through the maze of red tape.”

“What paperwork?” Bobby looked at Annie, who once again averted her eyes. “Annie, what is going on?”

“Oh,” Lily stammered, “I thought you had talked about this. I thought that’s why you were here today.” She sighed and got up from her desk. “I’ll just leave you two alone to discuss this. Let me know what you decide.”

She left the room. In the deafening silence that followed, Annie flushed under Bobby’s scrutiny. He waited for her to explain.

“OK,” she said finally. “I told Lily that I want us to be foster parents for the kids. I wanted to you to meet them before I asked you. I knew that you would fall in love with them just like I did.” Bobby didn’t answer right away and she leaned forward earnestly. “Babe,” she said pleadingly, “those kids have been so neglected…I think you and I would be so good for them. You saw how sweet they are…it would be so easy to love them, don’t you think?”

“Of course it would be easy to love them. But there’s more to it than that, Annie. Four more children in the house would be a lot to adjust to, both for us and for our own kids. We don’t even have room for them.”

“I’ve already thought about that,” Annie said eagerly. “We can put a crib for Susie in our room. Judy can share Ally’s room. And we can partition off part of the basement and turn it into a bedroom for Sammy and Mikey; or for Phillip and Andrew, and we’ll put Sammy and Mikey upstairs in the twins’ room.”

“Annie, it’s not just the space issue. These kids are so young. You remember how hard it was for both us to work when the twins were babies and Ally was little. And we don’t even know when, or if, I’ll be able to go back to work. If I can’t go back to the NYPD, then we’ll have some decisions to make. And you are talking about trying to make those decisions with seven children depending on us.”

“For now you are home. When you go back to work, wherever that is, then I can take a leave of absence until Susie is a little older.”

Bobby rubbed his forehead. “Seven children and one paycheck? The expense of remodeling the basement? Annie…”

Annie knelt on the floor in front of him. “I know it won’t be easy, but we can do it, Bobby. We can give these children the stable home they’ve never had, parents who love them. Please, Bobby.”

He wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “We can’t do it, Babe.”

“They need me…us.”

“And you need to be needed, don’t you,” he asked softly.

“What?” Annie got up from the floor.

“You need to be needed,” he repeated. “You like having someone to take care of. My mother filled that role for the last twelve years, but suddenly there’s a hole in your life and you want to fill it with four very needy children.”

She stared down at him. He unflinchingly returned her gaze. “You think that I…” A knock on the door cut her off. Lily opened the door and entered the office and sat down at her desk.

“Have you come to a decision?”

Annie sat back down in her chair and quietly asked, “What if we wanted to adopt them?” She didn’t look to see how Bobby reacted.

Lily shook her head. “You’re getting too far ahead. We don’t even know yet if the mother will spend time in jail, or if we will be able to put this family back together.”

“You would send them back to their mother?!” Anne was incredulous. “After all that she’s done? How could you even consider that?”

“Annie, reunification is always our goal. Sometimes that doesn’t work out, and occasionally the children are put up for adoption. But for now we have to assume that placement will be temporary, until the mother takes the necessary steps to have her children returned.” She looked from Bobby to Annie. “Are you interested in temporarily fostering these children?”

Bobby didn’t answer; he watched Annie with an unreadable expression. Tears threatened to spill over as Annie looked at him and then back to the social worker.

“No,” she said finally. “I’m sorry. We…we’ve decided that with our own three, the size of our house, and my husband’s injury, taking on four more children right now just...just isn’t going to work.”

Lily sighed. “You know, you should have told me that before you came here and spent time with them. Mikey was already attached to you after last night and today you just reinforced it.”

Annie nodded her head and looked down. “I…I know, and I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I didn’t tell my husband why we were coming here. I thought if he met them first, then….well, it was foolish and I’m sorry.” Annie glanced at Lily and then at Bobby. “Could we take just Mikey?”

Lily shook her head. “No, Annie. We need to keep them together. After everything they’ve been through, it would be too traumatic to split them up. I’ve got a couple of foster homes that may be able to take four kids.”

Bobby and Annie got up to leave. At the door, Annie turned to Lily.

“Mikey will be upset if I’m not here when he wakes up. Can I tell him goodbye?”

“It’s better if you don’t. The longer we prolong this, the harder it’s going to be on him.” She patted Annie’s arm sympathetically. “He’s going to be alright. I’ll find a good foster home for them.”

As they were leaving, they met Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler on their way in to check on the children. They stopped to talk, asking Bobby about his knee and when he expected to return to work.

Olivia said, “You were talking about taking these kids in this morning, Annie. Did you guys fill out paperwork?”

Annie glanced at Bobby, and then looked down at the ground.

“No,” Bobby told them. “As much as we want to, we just can’t.”

“How many kids do you have,” asked Elliot.

“Three,” Bobby said.

Elliot nodded. “I’ve got four. It would be hard to take on four more. Well, we better check on the kids and get back to work. You two take care. Hope you’re back on the job soon, Goren.”

“Thanks man,” Bobby said, shaking his hand. He turned and carefully began making his way down the front steps with his crutches.

Annie was about to follow him when Olivia stopped her. “Annie,” she said softly, “I’ll stop by the ER now and then and let you know what’s happening with the children, OK?”

Annie nodded wordlessly, afraid if she spoke she would start crying. Olivia gave her a quick hug before following her partner into the house. Annie followed Bobby to the car and helped him to get in.

They didn’t speak on the drive home. Once in the house, she said she was going to bed. Bobby silently watched her walk up the stairs. She changed into pajamas and climbed into the bed. She was exhausted after working all night, staying up for a good part of the day, and the emotions the four sad children had caused to rage within her.

The things that Bobby said swirled in her mind. She knew that he was right; it was foolish to think they could just bring four children home and hope everything worked out. The house was too small for seven children; Bobby’s future with the NYPD was in question; and as quickly as Mikey had formed an attachment to her it would be difficult to leave him with a babysitter every day to go to work. Her head knew he was right, but her heart ached for the children who had never known what it was to be loved and taken care of.

“You need to be needed,” he had said. Where had that come from? Did he think her only interest in his mother was to fill her own need? After twelve years of marriage, did he really have no idea how much she loved Frances? How could he seem to know her so well and yet not know something so basic and important?

Annie’s head was beginning to ache. She went into the bathroom and took something for her headache and got back into bed. She fell asleep remembering Mikey’s cries that morning as Elliot carried him from the ER.

She awoke to the aroma of dinner cooking and the sounds of her children laughing. She got out of bed and went downstairs. Bobby was hobbling around the kitchen preparing dinner. Phillip and Andrew were setting the table under the supervision of their very picky sister. All three children were laughing at something Bobby had just told them. She smiled as all three came over to hug her. She took over making the salad while Bobby finished cooking the spaghetti. They didn’t speak, but the children’s cheerful chatter covered the uncomfortable silence between them.

After dinner the children put their dishes in the sink before heading upstairs to take their baths. She and Bobby finished clearing the table in silence. She was standing at the sink, rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Bobby lean his crutches against the counter and felt him standing close behind her. He put his hands on the counter on either side of her and leaned his forehead against the back of her head. Annie closed her eyes and leaned back against him. His arms wrapped around her; he kissed her ear gently and rested his cheek against hers. They stood for several minutes in the hushed quiet of the kitchen, with only the thumping of Sandy’s tail on the floor as she lay next to the stove watching them.

“Daaaaddeeeee!” Their daughter’s voice broke the silence, calling from upstairs. “I need help with my homework!”

She felt him smile and sigh. He kissed her cheek; straightening, he picked up his crutches. “I’ll be right there, Ally,” he called. Annie turned to face him; he smiled down at her and asked, “Are we OK?”

She reached up and gently brushed her fingers across the stubble on his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she said softly. Bobby leaned down and tenderly brushed his lips against hers.

“Daddeeee!”

He smiled at her again and straightened. Annie watched him leave the kitchen. She sighed and turned to wipe down the counters.

End chapter 5

Nurse Abby goes upstairs with Bobby and sends Annie to wipe down her counter since Annie's is really clean by now.

Annie knows better than to turn her back on Nurse Abby when Bobby is around.

Shame on you, Nurse Abby! Don't you know better than to go chasing after married men?

Nice chapter, ciaddict! I feel sorry for Annie, and hope the kids end up in a great, loving home.

This chapter takes place during and after the episodes Want and Magnificat. Thanks again to Spook.

“C’mon, Mike, admit it. You hated that movie, didn’t you?” Gina was laughing up at him.

“What can I say? It’s a chick flick.”

“I guess you like movies where things get blown up?”

“Well…..yeah.” He grinned down at her. “Things getting blown up is always entertaining.”

As she laughed at him, Mike thought how much he enjoyed the sound…and how rare it was. Only on her days off did she relax enough to tease him and laugh. He suspected there was something going on with her job that was causing her a great deal of stress, but she insisted everything was fine. She blamed her distraction and moodiness on the classes she was taking to become a paramedic.

“OK, Mr. Macho…next time you can pick the movie.”

“Great! It ought to be about time for another ‘Die Hard’ movie.”

He heard another laugh that caused him to turn around to search for the source. Sarah was standing about twenty feet away. Her back was to him, but he recognized the dark, wavy hair, pulled back into a pony-tail. She was talking to a man and as he watched she turned, put her arm through his, and they strolled towards him. Sarah caught sight of him and her smile became even brighter.

“Mike! How are you?”

He smiled back at her. “I’m great, Sarah. How are you?”

“I’m good.” She turned to the man with her. “Jerry, this is Mike…Mike, Jerry. Jerry’s an old college friend of mine.”

Mike shook hands with Jerry and introduced Gina. “How is Jia Li?”

“Growing up much too fast,” laughed Sarah. “Are you still working on Staten Island?”

“Yeah, I’m still there. That’s how Gina and I met…on the ferry.”

“That sounds romantic. What do you do, Gina?”

“I’m a nurse in a prison.”

“Now that sounds scary.”

Gina shrugged. “It has its moments. But they take security very seriously there.”

“I hate to interrupt,” Jerry said apologetically. “But we have reservations, Sarah.”

“Oh, of course. It was nice to meet you, Gina.” The two women shook hands, and Sarah extended her hand to Mike. “I’m glad we ran into each other Mike. It’s wonderful to see you again.”

Mike took her hand and squeezed it lightly. “Yeah…it was good to see you again too, Sarah. Take care of yourself.”

He watched them walk away for a moment before turning to Gina. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

“So…how bad do you feel about making me sit through that chick flick?”

Gina giggled. “What did you have in mind?”

“How about we go back to your place and order Chinese?”

“Chinese sounds good,” she said.

Sarah and Jerry walked to his car and he held the door open for her. He looked over at her as he drove to the restaurant.

“How do you know Mike?”

“We dated for a while,” she told him with a smile. “Not for long.”

“Did it end badly?”

“No, not badly. It just….ended.”

“Was it serious?”

Sarah squirmed in her seat a bit. “What’s with all the questions?”

“What’s with the evasion?”

“You should mind your own business.” She tried to glare at him, but they both ended up laughing.

They had realized quickly after their first date that they were still good friends, but nothing more. She enjoyed the ease of their friendship, knowing there was no pressure for anything more. They went to dinner, to movies, he had taken her and Jia Li to the beach to show off the surfing skills he acquired in California. For Jia Li, he was like having another uncle to read to her and push her on the swings.

“OK, spill. What’s up with you and the mystery man?”

“Mystery man?”

“Well, I’m guessing whatever went on with you two, you never brought him home to meet your family. I’ve been hanging out with you for a couple of months now and no one in your family has mentioned tall, dark, and handsome there.”

“Um…no. I didn’t introduce Mike to the family.”

“What’s wrong with him? Did he break your heart? Do I need to go back and kick his butt?”

Sarah laughed. “Bad idea, Jerry. He’s a cop, and I’ve seen him in action.”

“Yeah? C’mon, tell me!”

Sarah told him about the night she met Mike; the disastrous blind date, how her drunken companion got physical with her, and how Mike had rescued her.

“We dated for a few months. He was fun and, no, he didn’t break my heart. He was never anything but sweet and….gentle.”

“So what happened? Why did you stop seeing one another?”

Sarah sighed and looked out the window. “We….just realized….that I wasn’t….well, I wasn’t ready. It was too soon for me.”

Sitting at a red light, Jerry looked over at her contemplatively. “And now? Are you ready to date now?”

She looked back at him and smiled sadly. “I think so. That’s why I decided to go out with you.”

“But I don’t count because we’re just friends.”

“Well, you counted the first time we went out. I thought there was a possibility of us being more than friends.”

“Hmmm...and that was a couple of months ago, yet you haven’t gone out with anyone but me. Why?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. No one’s asked. And we have fun, don’t we?”

“Sure we have fun. But I’ve been out on dates. And I’m not buying that ‘no one’s asked’ crap. I have a feeling that you are using me as a decoy…so that people think you’re dating when you really aren’t.”

“Well, thanks a lot. It’s nice to know that one of my best friends thinks I’m so conniving.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’re doing it on purpose; it’s all subconscious, Baby. So, if someone asked, would you go?”

She shrugged again. “I don’t know…it would depend on who was asking.”

“How about Mike the cop?”

“That’s a moot point. Mike and Gina seemed pretty….cozy.”

Jerry shook his head. “I don’t know…I thought I saw some interest flickering there…for both of you.”

Sarah laughed and playfully punched his arm. “You’re imagining things. And you are such a girl!”

He laughed, pulling up in front of the restaurant. Holding her hand as they walked inside, he leaned close to her and said softly, “I don’t think you two are done with each other. But I’ll drop it for now….and just wait for my chance to say ‘I told you so.’ OK?”

Mike lay awake for a long time that night, curled around Gina, listening to her even breathing. Gina was sweet and funny; he liked her a lot. So why was it Sarah’s dark eyes and laughter that was keeping him awake?


*****************************************************************

Alex Eames was tired. Not just the physical fatigue that comes with long hours. She was mentally and emotionally exhausted. She had been a cop for a long time, her father was a cop, her husband was a cop. She had been around cops her entire life. So she knew all too well the dangers of letting cases get to you. For the most part, she had been successful in putting up a wall and protecting her emotions. But every once in a while a case came along that got past her defenses.

She was glad to have her partner back at work. Alex had liked working with Carolyn Barek; she was smart and intuitive, if a little odd, talking to herself at times as she mulled over information. But it was good to be working with Bobby again. He had come back only three months after injuring his knee. In a rare moment of candor where her husband was concerned, Annie had confided in Alex that she was worried he was rushing it and going back to work too soon. She had assured Annie that she would keep an eye on him and let her know if he seemed to be in pain. She could see that it bothered him when he was tired, but otherwise he seemed fine.

He hadn’t had a chance to ease into the workload; they had caught three overlapping cases immediately after his return. All three were tough and had taken an emotional toll on both of them. The first involved the murder of a woman who worked with the homeless and had led to the discovery of seven homeless men who had also been murdered. They solved the case with the discovery that an auto mechanic was killing the homeless men in a scam to make money for his girlfriend’s sick daughter, a daughter who didn’t exist. She had been pregnant and unmarried thirty years earlier, but the fetus died in utero and calcified—a “stone baby”. Her daughter only existed in her imagination. It left Alex wanting to see her nephew and hold the warm, pudgy baby close to her.

The next case had caused a disagreement with Bobby, though only in private. Ron Carver was furious with Bobby for interfering with his efforts to seek the death penalty for John Tagman. She couldn’t understand Bobby’s strong feelings that this was not an appropriate death penalty case; Tagman had kidnapped, drugged, and performed a homemade lobotomy on two women. One had died and the other was permanently brain damaged. She agreed with Carver and with Captain Deakins that the horror of what he had done certainly made her want to see Tagman put to death. But while Carver and Deakins both disagreed with Bobby strenuously, she had saved her own comments for him privately—presenting a united front with her partner in public. Bobby got his way in this; Tagman had agreed to a plea deal and would be formally sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole. She was not looking forward to going to Carver’s office to complete paperwork later in the week.

While those two cases, coming so close together, had been difficult, it was the third one that had left her emotionally drained. Doreen Whitlock had tried to kill herself and her four young sons by building a bomb and placing it on their car. The three youngest boys had died instantly, but Doreen and her oldest son, Adam, had survived. Alex would never forget sitting in that hospital room, asking Adam questions. Watching him struggle not to reveal too much, the realization dawning on her and on Bobby that it was his mother Adam was trying to protect, seeing him lie about what his mother told them in the car. “I can’t even imagine what her last words to her kids were—before she blew them up,” Alex had said to Bobby as they left the room. She understood that Doreen suffered from severe post-partum depression; she understood that her rigid, uncaring husband had intensified her suicidal thoughts; she understood that Doreen wanted her children to die with her so that her husband wouldn’t be left to care for them alone. But understanding the facts did nothing to help her understand the reality of a mother killing her own children. Nor could she understand Paul Whitlock’s reaction, showing more concern for his reputation than for the loss of his children. Bobby had contacted a lawyer friend of his who specialized in custody cases, in hopes that Adam’s grandmother would be able to gain custody. Alex hoped they would be successful, for Adam’s sake.

Once again, she had gone to visit her nephew, canceling a date with Tom in hopes that spending time with the baby who had grown in her own womb would somehow help her to make sense of it all. But it hadn’t helped. As she drove home she felt just as unsettled. She wanted to talk to someone, but didn’t know who. She couldn’t talk about something like this with her sister; she had tried for so long to become a mother and Alex knew this would be too distressing for her. Bobby was already home with his wife and children; she didn’t want to disrupt their evening. She could talk to her father; he was a cop and he would understand. But her mother had never liked hearing about her cases, always worrying about her daughter in such a “man’s” profession.

It occurred to her that this was possibly what she missed most about Joe. He had been a cop as well and they had often talked over cases. With Joe she was able to talk about the horrors she encountered and knew that he would understand. She had often worked through her own feelings about difficult cases by sharing details with her husband. Joe knew what she was going through, and he knew that she didn’t need him to solve anything or to make her feel better. He knew she just needed him to listen and understand her feelings.

She pulled up outside her house, but just sat in the car, unable to face going inside and spending the evening alone. Finally she put the car in gear and drove away. A short time later she stopped and again sat in her car, this time looking up at an apartment building. Tom’s building. Should she have called first? She had broken their date; would he be happy to see her—or annoyed? There was only one way to find out. She got out of her car and went to the front door. She buzzed his apartment and waited for him to answer.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me…Alex.”

“Hey! Come on up!”

She heard the buzz as he unlocked the door and she pushed it open. She climbed the first set of stairs and by the time she got to the second floor landing Tom was there, sweeping her into his arms and kissing her deeply. She laughed as she tried to catch her breath, glancing around to see if any of Tom’s neighbors were outside watching them. Not caring about her aversion to public displays this time, he pushed her against the wall and caught her face between his hands. He kissed her again and she put her hands on his chest, intending to push him away. But as he moved his lips from hers and began dropping light kisses all over her face, she slid her hands around his waist and pushed herself on tiptoe to get closer to him.

“I missed you,” he whispered huskily as he nibbled on her earlobe, sending shivers down her spine. He leaned his forehead against hers and smiled at her. “I thought I was doomed to a boring evening all alone with a pizza and a beer.”

“You have pizza?” Now Alex pushed him away and brushed past him as she walked down the hall towards his apartment. “I’m starving. And beer sounds good, too.”

Tom sighed dramatically as he followed her. “Upstaged by a pizza….what a blow to my ego!”

Alex turned as Tom closed the door and this time she pushed him against the wall, grabbing his shirt in her fists and pulling him down to her and kissing him. He reached down and grabbed her thighs, lifting her up so that they were face to face. Now it was her hands holding his face and covering him with kisses.

“I have plenty of appetite, Fireman Tom,” she whispered.

Tom took in a shuddering breath as she began kissing his throat. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he tightened his grip on her bottom and began to walk towards his bedroom. He paused next to the bed to kiss her again. He pulled his head back and looked into her eyes, half-closed with desire. Suddenly, he unceremoniously dropped her onto the bed, laughing at her squeal. Before she could react, he dropped onto the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her as he pulled her shirt up and over her head.

Later, Alex pulled one of his FDNY tee-shirts on and Tom brought the pizza and beer into the bedroom. They sat on the bed as they ate. Tom trailed his fingers across her body as they ate, distracting her, which he clearly enjoyed. After clearing the leftover pizza and empty beer bottles, he stretched out next to her again and pulled her against him. He nuzzled the skin under her ear with his stubble and ran his thumb gently up and down her side. Alex sighed deeply and wiggled to get closer to his warmth.

“Hey,” Tom whispered in her ear, “do you want to talk about it?”

She pulled back to look up into his hazel eyes. “Talk about what?”

“Whatever is bothering you. Whatever it was that you broke our date over, and then showed up unannounced anyway.” He traced a finger along her jaw and leaned down to kiss her gently. “You can talk to me, Alex. I’m a firefighter. I see some of the same things you see. I’m guessing this mood you’ve been in has something to do with that woman who blew up her kids. You worked that case, didn’t you?”

She stared up at him and for the first time since Joe died, Alex wanted to talk to a man; she wanted to share what went on in her life, every part of her life. She rolled slightly so that she was lying on her back and scooted closer to him. She began to talk, haltingly at first. Tom held her close and didn’t interrupt. He let her talk, not asking questions. He knew that it wasn’t important for him to understand every detail, only for him to listen to her. She told him about Tagman and the horror of what he had done to those two young women, and about her anger at her partner’s inexplicable desire to save Tagman from the death penalty, even as she supported his efforts. She talked about Doreen Whitlock, about her own ambivalence towards the woman; empathizing with her suicidal depression and oppressive marriage, while being repulsed at what she had done to her own children. As she talked, Alex looked up at Tom and realized that he was a parent; he would share her revulsion at what Doreen had done. She talked until she couldn’t talk anymore, finally falling silent and looking up at Tom to gauge his reaction. He didn’t react; he simply tightened his arm around her and gently began tracing his finger across her jaw and under her ear, causing her to tingle.

Alex reached up and pulled his face down to hers and kissed him deeply, grateful that he hadn’t tried to talk her out of what she was feeling or make suggestions on how to “get over it”. He simply listened and accepted her feelings for what they were….feelings.

“Alex,” he whispered. “Stay here tonight. Stay with me.”

She hesitated for a moment. She had never spent the entire night with him. She drew back to look at him again and then nodded her head. He smiled down at her and lowered his head for another kiss. This time when they made love, it was slow, gentle, and leisurely. Afterwards, Alex snuggled close against him and kissed his chest. She felt him drop a soft kiss on top of her head as she drifted off to sleep.


******************************************************************

Annie pulled a pan of cookies out of the oven and slipped another one in. The aroma of warm chocolate chip cookies filled the house. She transferred the cookies to a rack to cool, putting one on a napkin and taking it to the table. Sitting at the table, she reveled in the feel and taste of warm, soft chocolate on her tongue.

It was Annie’s day off and she was not working at the soup kitchen. After getting the children to school, she decided she was in the mood to bake. There were two apple pies cooling on the counter alongside the first batch of cookies.

Bobby had been quiet since returning to work. When he came home at night, she could see that he was in pain, but he denied it. She also knew that he was bothered by the few pounds he had gained since injuring his knee. He refused to talk about the cases he and Alex were working on. Annie saw the pictures in the newspaper of two pretty girls who had been kidnapped; one found dead and the other found wandering the streets, suffering from brain damage. She asked Bobby if it was his case and he confirmed that it was, but refused to talk about it.

She deduced they were working on the case of the mother who killed three of her young sons after Bobby woke her late one night. He asked her pointed questions about how stressful it was for her to have three young children, especially when the twins were babies and toddlers. He wanted to know if she felt he had pressured her to go back to work after the children were born, if he had been too demanding of her, if he had done enough to help her, if she ever felt overwhelmed. Annie assured him that though there were times she felt overwhelmed, he had always been supportive and helpful.

Annie sighed as she licked the last of the chocolate off her fingers. Everything seemed so hard since the rift between herself and Frances. There were moments when she and Bobby connected just as they always had. But more often she felt him withdrawing from her, closing in on himself. She didn’t know how to react when he did. Theirs had always been such an open and honest relationship; she was unsure of what to do about this new distance.

Sighing, she threw her napkin away, washed her hands, and began mixing dough for oatmeal cookies. The silence was beginning to feel oppressive, so she slid a CD into the player. Throbbing Latin music began to play and she turned it up. Standing at the kitchen counter, measuring ingredients into a bowl, her hips began to sway in time to the music. Fast-paced Salsa music filled the house and Annie laughed with delight and began to dance. She moved away from the counter and closed her eyes, caught up in the feel of the beat. Worries and doubts faded as she danced the Salsa around the kitchen.

******************************************************************

Bobby was quiet as he and Alex drove from Ron Carver’s office to One Police Plaza. Back in the squad room, Alex watched him surreptitiously from across their desks. He had not reacted or responded at all when Carver informed them that John Tagman had been murdered in prison. They worked in silence the rest of the morning.

At lunchtime Alex asked, “Do you want to go to the deli for lunch, Bobby?”

He shook his head and pushed his chair back from his desk. “No thanks. I think I’m going to go home early today. My knee is bothering me.”

Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise. This was the first time he had complained about his knee since returning to work.

“OK,” she said.

She watched him walk to the captain’s office. Bobby knocked on the door and opened it.

“Excuse me, Captain. Can I talk to you?”

“Sure, Bobby, c’mon in.” James Deakins looked up from the reports he was filling out as the big detective stepped into his office and closed the door.

“Captain, I’d like to leave early. My….uh…knee is painful….and I’d like to go home and rest it.”

“OK, go ahead. I hope you’re feeling better tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

Captain Deakins watched Bobby walk to the door. As he opened it to leave the captain said, “You know, Carver called and told me about Tagman. I’m sorry, Detective. I know it was important to you to help him get life rather than the death penalty.”

Bobby nodded his head. “Thank you, Captain.”

John Tagman filled his thoughts as he drove home. He was good at getting into the minds of murderers, good at connecting with them, in order to find a weakness that he could exploit to coax a confession. He tried to let go of them once they closed a case. But some of them stuck with him. Wally Stevens had been one that he couldn’t let go of, becoming his pen pal after he went to prison. He empathized with the strange, lonely man who was unable to connect with people.

John Tagman was another one that he knew he would not easily forget; another lonely man unable to connect with people. That loneliness had led him to kidnap two young women in an attempt to create a girlfriend for himself. Although horrified at the torture Tagman subjected the girls to, Bobby had found himself feeling sorry for the young man as he delved into his mind.

He knew that Ron Carver, Captain Deakins, even Eames, had not understood his stand that Tagman did not meet the requirements for the death penalty. Carver would not soon forget his interference that had led to a plea deal for Tagman, saving him from capitol punishment. Eames had let him know that she didn’t understand or approve, either, but had stood united with him in front of Carver. While in Carver’s office that morning, they were notified that Tagman had been murdered in prison. Alex’s sarcastic remark, directed at Carver and his initial insistence on seeking the death penalty, had been appreciated. But still he was left with the image imprinted on his memory of the tortured, lonely man tormented by the horror of his own actions.

Before Annie came into his life, he had felt that same loneliness, that same inability to connect. In his case it had been deliberate, not wanting other people to see just how destructive his home life had been. If not for Annie and his children, that aching, unrelenting loneliness most likely would have been his life.

But Annie did come into his life, as well as three beautiful children he adored. After hearing about Tagman’s murder, he suddenly wanted to see Annie. He wanted to see her smile, run his fingers through her hair, hear her laugh, smell the lilac scent of her, taste her lips beneath his.

He pulled into the driveway next to Annie’s SUV. As he walked up the front steps, he could hear music. He stood outside the door for a moment, frowning in concentration. He could feel the throbbing beat of the music even here outside. That was unlike his wife. She usually preferred the soft crooning of Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra.

He opened the door and stepped inside. The music was deafening in here. The aroma of baking cookies permeated the house. He moved through the living room towards the kitchen. There he caught sight of Annie, her long blond hair loose and flying around her face as she danced. Bobby stopped in the doorway, mesmerized by the joy and elation on her face. Her eyes were closed and she was moving with abandon around the kitchen; yet she didn’t run into anything, seeming to know instinctively exactly where to place her feet. Her arms were extended as her hips swayed quickly to the beat of the music.

Bobby quietly leaned against the wall and watched his wife as she ran her hands under her hair and lifted her arms, letting the soft strands run through her fingers, as she twirled around. His breath caught in his throat as he realized once again how stunning she was. Annie spun around again, opening her eyes slightly and catching sight of Bobby. She jumped and squealed in surprise, crossing her hands over her chest.

“You scared me,” she said breathlessly.

Bobby didn’t answer for a moment. He continued to stare at her and Annie’s already flushed face burned even more as his dark eyes bore into her.

“Do you know how hot you are when you do that?” His voice was soft and low, causing a thrill to run up her spine.

“I know how hot you are when you look at me like that,” she replied softly.

They stood still for a moment as the music continued to throb around them. Finally Annie said with a smile, “You’re home early. Did you come home to dance with me?”

He grinned back at her. “I don’t think my knee is up to the Salsa. But….maybe something slow….and soft.”

Annie went to the CD player, turned the music down, and pushed a button to change CDs. As a soft, slow song began to play, she went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Bobby pulled her close and rubbed his stubbled cheek against her smooth one, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of her hair. She reached up to lay her hand on his cheek and he turned his head to drop a light kiss on her palm.

“Is there anything you want to talk about,” she asked in a whisper.

Bobby lifted his head to look down at her. He gently traced the features of her face, trailing his finger down her throat to the sensitive hollow and causing a catch in her breathing. He smiled gently down at her and shook his head.

“No, I don’t want to talk. I just want to dance with my wife and remember how grateful I am to be…..connected.”

He closed his hand around hers, tightened his arm around her waist, and pulled her into a slow dance in their warm, fragrant kitchen.

End chapter 6

Ooooooh another chapter. and how good was that? Thanks for that, was such an entertaining read and good to read Alex's side of things too. Keep up the good work!!

Thanks for another great chapter. Maybe Logan will get together with Sarah again after he splits with Gina. I liked the Alex POV, I've often wondered about her perspective about things, and that's usually not seen. Good work, and I look forward to more.

I said it all best on ff.net, so I copied it here.....big smiles for you and Spook.


Where do I start?

First, I LOVE how this chapter is so warm and tender from start to finish. You carried the mood all the way through; that's very hard for a writer to do, and you did it beautifully.

I really liked the Mike/Sarah scenes. You captured Gina quite well, and I like Sarah's friend Jerry. She needs a really good guy friend like him in her life right now.

As for Bobby and Annie, I hope they can work things through and keep their marriage intact. I keep feeling like you're working up to them being separated at some point, and that thought makes me very unhappy. I loved Bobby's line at the end about being grateful to be connected. Very Bobby, very nice. I also loved the scene with Amy dancing in the kitchen and Bobby watching her, then the two of them dancing together.

Alex -- that was SMOKIN' HOT! LOVED IT! SO glad that she found herself able to confide in Tom and talk to him the way she was able to talk to Joe. Do I hear the faint sound of wedding bells? hint, hint, nudge, nudge...

Overall, a wonderfully beautiful chapter. The tenderness throughout was a nice change of pace from previous chapters.

I can't wait to see where you are going to take us next. I think this may be my favorite chapter yet out of all your Bobby/Annie stories!

Keep up the great work, cuz!

Thanks for the comments, guys! I'm working on the next chapter, but I just can't seem to make myself sit down and write! I've been wanting to do Annie dancing all alone in the kitchen for a long time, but couldn't find a good place to fit it in. I live vicariously through her (and Sarah) since I am completely unable to dance at all. But if Bobby would lead, I just might try!

Bobby - dancing - a well placed 'dip' = THUD!

Thank you Enaka! I love M&Ms. I aspire to be sexy like the green one.

LOL!!!!!

Glad ya had a good birthday, cousin!

This chapter is set during and after Stress Position.

Thank you to Squarey for co-writing this chapter, specifically the last scene.

Thank you as always, Spook. You catch my boo-boos and inconsistencies.


Mike turned his key in the lock and let himself into Gina’s apartment. They had been dating five months and he spent a considerable amount of time at her apartment these days. The apartment was quiet as he entered and he thought for a moment that Gina wasn’t there. But then he saw her in the bedroom, sitting on the foot of her bed. She was sitting still, staring straight ahead. Her eyes were red from crying, but she was sitting calmly.

“Gina?” Mike knelt in front of her. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to your mother?”

She shook her head. “N…no, it’s not my mother.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “One of the guards from my prison was murdered this morning, Taylor Kenna.”

“He was from your prison?! I heard about it, but they hadn’t released his name or where he worked. Did you know him well?”

Gina nodded. “Yeah, he used to come into the infirmary and talk sometimes. He was studying to be a firefighter and I’m studying to be a paramedic. He passed his exam and was hired by the fire department. He was leaving soon.” She sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, I…I don’t know why I got so worked up. I’ll go fix us some dinner, OK?” She tried to stand, but Mike pushed her gently back down.

“Hey, it’s OK, Gina,” he said softly. “A coworker was murdered. That would shake anyone.” He put his arms around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about dinner. We’ll order pizza or something.”

Gina closed her eyes and held back more tears. “Thank you,” she whispered.

She said little over the next few days. When Mike tried to talk to her, she insisted she was fine. But on Friday night Mike arrived at her apartment and found her agitated. Still she refused to say much, but she did finally tell him that two detectives came to the prison and talked to her about Kenna. She was obviously upset about their visit, which he couldn’t understand. Mike knew that it only made sense for the detectives to talk to Kenna’s coworkers to try and find out who might have had a motive to kill him. However, Mike was certain that she was afraid of something, but he couldn’t get anymore information out of her. She finally showed him the card that one of the detectives had given her.

After she excused herself and locked herself in the bathroom to take a shower. Mike looked at the card. “Detective Robert Goren—Major Case Squad—NYPD”. He tucked it in his pocket and decided that on Monday he would go to One Police Plaza. He wanted to have a talk with this Detective Robert Goren and find out just what he had said to Gina that had her so scared.

******************************************************************

Three weeks later, Annie was setting the table for dinner. She ran her finger around the delicate flowers on the rim of a plate. Tonight’s dinner party was a good excuse to use her fine china. Alex would be there with Tom Spencer. She knew Alex had been dating him for some time, but Annie had not seen him since the day they met on the side of a busy highway where a small boy had been hit by a car. Annie and Tom had worked together, doing CPR, until the ambulance arrived. She would always remember the sight of that small boy in the big firefighter’s arms. Also joining them would be Mike Logan and Gina Lowe. She knew Mike vaguely, having met him in the ER years earlier when he was a detective for the homicide division of the 27th precinct. She had never met Gina, but knew that she was Mike’s girlfriend, she was a nurse, and that until recently she had worked at Brooklyn Federal Prison.

When Annie read about the “secret prisoners” and their torture at the hands of a few guards, she remembered the night that Bobby came home very late and asked him if this was his case. He confirmed that he and Alex had worked on it but, as was beginning to happen much more frequently, he did not want to talk about it. However, Alex had told her some of the details of what went on, including the fact that Mike Logan had inserted himself into the investigation because of Gina, and that he and Bobby had faced down four guards in order to protect Gina. She also told Annie that Captain Deakins had been very impressed with the detective and was considering asking for his transfer to Major Case. Annie had insisted, over Bobby’s objections, on organizing a dinner to meet Logan and Gina—as well as to spend some time with Alex and Tom.

The table was set, the salad was made and was chilling in the refrigerator, the lasagna was almost done baking, and the garlic bread was ready to go in the oven just before serving dinner. Bobby was still upstairs, showering and changing clothes from work. The children were spending the night next door with Janey and Rob. Annie sat down on one of the dining room chairs and relaxed with a soda.

It was just over a week since Thanksgiving. A whole year since my “banishment”, Annie thought wryly. It was her turn to work this holiday, so Bobby and the children had gone to Carmel Ridge to spend the day with Frances. They were home before she got home from work, and Bobby insisted on taking them all out to dinner. She sighed as she thought about last Thanksgiving, with the work and preparations she had put into it. She had been so excited to have Frances and Frank join them, as well as Grandpa. But then it had all gone so terribly wrong. She wasn’t sure anything would ever be the same.

She had gotten some good news, though. True to her word, Olivia Benson had stopped by the ER one day this week to tell Annie about the four children she had wanted so desperately to take home; Judy, Sammie, Mikey, and baby Susie. According to Olivia, they had been placed with a wonderful, loving foster family; a mother, a father, and one child just about Judy’s age. Olivia told her that they were doing very well. Judy and Sammie had started school; the foster mother had worked with them all summer to get them ready, especially Judy who was so far behind. Olivia said that Judy had started out the year somewhat behind her classmates, but had quickly caught up, thanks to the tutoring of her foster mother. Mikey was in a preschool program three mornings a week and had become a happy, chubby little boy. She said that even Susie, the somber baby who rarely cried or smiled, was beginning to catch up to her developmental milestones.

“You know,” Olivia said, “the social worker, Lily, told me about the visit you had with the children that morning. She said that Susie smiled at your husband—the first time she had smiled since we brought her in, and the only time she smiled for quite a while, even after being placed with the foster family.”

Annie smiled at her. “That’s my Bobby—he can charm any female, even an infant.”

Annie was glad to hear that the children were doing so well and that they had spent a very happy Thanksgiving with their new family. She wasn’t sure she was as happy to hear that Children’s Services was going forward with a plan to reunite them with their mother. She had escaped jail time for the neglect charges, but was on probation. Olivia said that she was attending parenting classes and having supervised visits with the children twice a week.

“Smells good,” Bobby said as he walked in and leaned down to kiss her. He pulled a chair next to hers and sat down.

“It should be ready to come out of the oven soon.” Annie smiled and ran her fingers through his damp curls, noticing for the first time a few gray strands. “Olivia Benson came to see me this week. She says the kids are with a good foster family and are doing really well.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that.”

“But….well, they are trying to reunite them with their mother. I hope….” She trailed off.

Bobby looked down at the floor and nodded his head. “I know, Babe. I’m sorry…we just…”

“I know,” she interrupted. “I know we couldn’t. And even if we had taken them, they would still be having visits with their mother…Children’s Services would still be planning to reunite them. The important thing is that they are being taken care of.” She leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes. “Maybe you were right…that I need to be needed.”

Bobby held her face between his hands and looked into her eyes. “I need you,” he whispered. The timer rang in the kitchen. Bobby smiled at her and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I’ll check on the lasagna,” he told her. Together they went to the kitchen and put the finishing touches on dinner.

Listening to the talk around the table later that evening, Annie was glad she had insisted on this dinner. Everyone seemed comfortable and to genuinely like the others. Gina was uncomfortable at first, but when she found out that Annie was also a nurse she began to relax and open up. Annie watched Tom and Alex surreptitiously. At least she thought she was being surreptitious until Bobby nudged her under the table. She smiled at him as he frowned slightly and shook his head almost imperceptibly. She knew as well as he did that Alex would not be pleased if she caught Annie beaming with joy at her and Tom. So she tried to control her facial expressions, but couldn’t help the giddy feeling at the thought of the possibility of Alex being in love. She was enjoying getting to know Tom. They had only met once, under traumatic circumstances, and he had gained her respect that day. But seeing him now, laughing and joking with Mike and Bobby, turning his full attention (and devastating smile) on Alex each time she spoke, Annie was liking him more and more each moment.

Everyone pitched in to clear the table after eating. Tom and Mike were both impressed to hear that Bobby owned a 1967 Mustang and asked to see it before they sat down to enjoy the cheesecake Annie had made for dessert. The women preferred to go straight to the cheesecake. Annie and Alex asked Gina questions about herself, trying to draw her out. The conversation turned to the reason Bobby and Alex had met her; the investigation that led to the discovery of “secret prisoners”. Gina described the confrontation Bobby and Mike had with the corrupt guards. She was overwhelmed by the realization that the men she had worked with were planning to harm her.

“I was so scared when they came after us in that hallway,” she said. “If Mike and Bobby hadn’t been there….” She shuddered slightly and was silent for a moment before going on. “Mike was…well, Mike. He was ready to just jump in and start fighting. He told them that…well, that they would take at least one of them with them, and that the death penalty would be for the others. I thought that….” She faltered and Annie reached across to squeeze her hand. “Anyway, Bobby told me to tell what I had seen, the injuries I had seen on the secret prisoners. I did, and then Bobby started talking to each one of them. It was amazing; it was like he was inside their heads or something. He knew things about them…not just the stuff that he could have found in their personnel files, but how they think, how they feel. I couldn’t believe it when Hector threw down his stick and walked away. And then Rollie did the same thing. Then Doug put his stick away and he walked us out. I’ve never seen anything like that. How does he do that?”

Alex shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’ve seen it over and over. It’s like Bobby not only knows how they think, he actually thinks their thoughts. He just seems to instinctively know their weakest spot and he hones in on that until they are completely defenseless.”

Annie listened in silence, realizing that this was a part of Bobby’s life she had never seen. Although he talked to her about cases…or at least he used to talk to her about them; he seemed to do less and less of that lately. But when he did talk about a case, it was as though he was using Annie as a sounding board to process his own feelings about it. She had only occasionally seen him in his capacity as a cop, on the rare instances that he came to interview a victim in the ER. But she had never seen him with a suspect, had never seen this side of him that Gina and Alex were describing.

“After Doug opened the gate, Bobby and I walked out with him. But Mike went back and picked up one of the sticks from the floor and faced down Kurt Plumm like he wanted to go after him. But Bobby called him to come with us and he threw the stick down.” She sighed and took a sip of coffee. “Even though Plumm and the others are gone and the secret prisoners aren’t secret anymore…I just couldn’t stay. I quit and didn’t even give any notice. I got a job at a hospital on Staten Island. It doesn’t pay as much, but it’ll do until I pass my paramedic exam.”

Annie shook her head and sighed. “I could never work in a prison. I don’t even like it when the police bring suspects in before taking them in to be booked. It’s not just that I would be scared working in a prison,” she said thoughtfully. “Although, I would be very scared. But when the police bring someone in and I see this man or woman with hands cuffed behind…it’s just…depressing? Does that make sense?”

Gina nodded her head. “Yeah, it does. It is depressing.”

The men returned from the garage, talking about cars and engines, and Annie got up to serve them cheesecake and coffee. She watched Bobby as he laughed at something Mike said. She was glad to see him enjoying himself, especially knowing that he had only agreed to this dinner because she wanted it. That was one of the many things she loved about him, his willingness to step out of his comfort zone just to please her.

As they stood in the doorway, saying goodbye to the two couples, Bobby kept his arm around her and she leaned into the warmth of his body. He helped her clean up in the kitchen and they went upstairs. Bobby lay on the bed, watching her go about her bedtime routine. She climbed on the bed and sat cross-legged, facing him.

“I remember reading about Mike hitting that city councilman. And I remember all the broken hearts when he stopped coming by the ER,” Annie told him with a smile.

Bobby grinned at her. “Was yours one of those broken hearts?”

“Hardly. I already had my own hunky cop to come home to.” Bobby rolled to his side and propped his head on his hand. “I like Tom,” she told him. “He’s crazy about Alex.”

“Uh huh…” Bobby traced designs on her leg with his finger, sending little sparks through her. “You need to keep a lid on that….uh….enthusiasm. Eames will not be amused.”

“I’ll try.” She sighed. “But I can’t help being happy to see her happy. She and Tom just seem….happy,” she said with a laugh, at a loss for a better word. “Now Mike and Gina, on the other hand, are a different story entirely.”

“Really? How so?”

“They won’t be together much longer. If this whole thing at the prison hadn’t happened, they probably would have broken up already. But the danger and drama of what they went through together, and her gratitude that you and Mike saved her…well, it’s kept them connected for a while. But it’ll wear off and they will drift apart.”

“Really,” he said again in an amused voice.

She nodded with conviction. “They don’t have that connection that will keep them together long term.”

“And you know this how?”

Annie shrugged and grinned at him, then lay down with her back to him and scooted against him until he was spooning her. “I know a little something about human nature, too, Mr. Detective.”

He laughed softly and circled his arms around her, kissing her ear. He tucked her head under his chin and Annie wiggled against him slightly to get comfortable.

“Bobby…” she said hesitantly. “You never told me how Thanksgiving was.”

“It was fine,” he said softly.

“But…did your…” she stopped, changed her question. “How was the food?”

“It was fine. Just the usual Thanksgiving food; turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie. A lot of family members came. It was….nice.” Annie didn’t ask the question foremost on her mind, but Bobby answered it anyway. “She didn’t ask about you, Babe,” he said softly, kissing the top of her head.

Lying in the comfort of Bobby’s arms, she thought about what Gina and Alex had said earlier. It had always amazed her that he knew her so well that he almost seemed to read her mind. She knew that part of that was the fact that she had never learned to hide her emotions and they showed clearly on her face. But it went deeper than that. He could read her moods and thoughts better than even Grandpa had ever been able to; he knew her weaknesses and fears, as well as what brought her joy. She was glad that she had never tried to keep secrets from him because it sometimes felt like he was inside her head. It had never occurred to her that he had that same ability to understand intimate details about suspects; that he used it to actually break down their defenses. With her it had always been something he used to enhance intimacy. She wondered what it was like for the people he was trying to break down. The thought caused a slight shiver to run through her and Bobby tightened his arms around her and pulled her even closer. Closing her eyes, she felt a warm heaviness drift over her body as sleep approached.

******************************************************************

Bobby found himself wandering through the darkness of the house. Even though most every night he went to bed at the same time as his wife, he rarely managed to fall asleep at the same time. As years went by, he convinced himself that was because he needed fewer hours of sleep. Of course that went against science; people do not need less sleep as they get older. However, Bobby conveniently overlooked the science of sleep and dutifully ignored the reasons he wasn’t sleeping like he used to.

He poured the rest of the bottle of wine into one of the wine glasses drying on the rack on the kitchen counter and made his way back toward the dining room table. He sat in the same place he had sat at dinner. It was the head of the table. Even after all of these years it still felt funny to sit here, in his house, with his family, at the head of the table. The position was so incredibly fragile.

He drank the dry red wine and thought about the conversation earlier. Well, really he thought about the people. Eames at his house for dinner with her, um, boyfriend. Eames had a boyfriend. He smiled like a middle school kid over such a middle school thought.

Mike Logan seemed like a good enough guy. He had an uneven rep in the department, but who was he to judge a guy by his rep. Logan had handled himself well during the entirety of the case. And if Bobby had gone by the guy’s rep alone, then Logan would have led with aggression first in those final moments in the prison. Instead the Staten Island detective had exercised judgment and let Bobby work toward reasoning with the guards.

He swirled the wine in the glass and watched it cling and slip down the sides. A nice evening with friends, with his wife, in his house. Each and every moment, Annie added value, she gave him possibility, something he had never had as a boy.

“Baby, come to bed,” Annie surprised him. He hadn’t heard her come downstairs.

“It was a nice evening.” He drained the rest of the glass of wine. He reached over for her, his large hands on her rounded hips, and gently pulled her over to stand in front of him.

“Yes.” She nodded, warm and slow from sleep. She ran her hands softly through his hair. Slowly he lifted her up to sit on the table.

“We should do that more often,” he mumbled, moving her bathrobe aside so he could run his hands up her legs. She laughed, causing him to look up at her.

“I like to have people over for dinner,” she smiled down at him, and he knew she was teasing him, because it was on him that they didn’t have people over more often.

“Yeah, I know,” he moved his hands up her thighs so slowly that his fingers splayed open from the gentle pressure of his skin on her skin. He could feel her breath hitch in her chest. “The kids, they’re at Janey’s for the night,” he leaned forward and kissed her thigh just above her knee. She still hadn’t let go of her breath and now he could feel her trembling beneath his kiss. So, he kissed her again, this time higher, and he used his hands to spread her thighs more open. She moved her hands to be on top of his hands, her fingernails sinking in to his skin as she moved his touch higher. He kissed her once more, very high, very softly, and she shivered. He stood slowly in front of her, his hands still on her, moving in toward her, and his mouth found hers. “I love you Annie,” he whispered against her lips, and she nodded, at a loss for words. Her only response was to open her legs to him completely.


End Chapter 7

What a wonderful way for me to start my morning! Of course, now I need to grab a really cold shower after that last scene---oh my!

Love Annie beaming over Tom & Alex--I think it's sweet. Still don't like the distance between Annie & Bobby. But I think that last scene says lots.

::runs to grab a shower::

Thank you Spook for being such a good (and quick) beta. Your computer must be the busiest one I know, but you always get back to me quickly.

Once again, Squarey has contributed a scene…and again it’s the very last one. Thank you!

Mike Logan sat at the bar in Peter J’s, nursing a beer. It was late January and he had already decided 2005 was going to suck. Lennie Briscoe’s death in December had cast a pall over the holidays. Mike still felt in shock. The last time he had seen Lennie, after his retirement, he noticed that he had lost weight. But he seemed happy and energetic; he was talking about going to work for the DA’s office as an investigator. He said nothing about being sick. Mike knew that Lennie had taken the job with the DA’s office, but hadn’t seen him again. Until he got the call that Lennie had passed away. Gina had been sweet and supportive, but they both knew that their relationship was over. The events at the prison had brought them closer briefly, but they both finally admitted the inevitable and parted amicably.

Parted amicably. Mike thought about that phrase. He was an expert at breaking up with a woman in such a way that they could remain friends. But amicably or not, the parting always seemed to be inevitable. Well, almost always, he thought, remembering one dark-haired woman. He had parted amicably with Sarah, too. But, while he usually knew a break-up was coming long before it happened, and found it a relief when it did finally happen, with Sarah it had been different. He should have seen it coming; he realized now that there had been plenty of signs that she wasn’t ready to let go of her deceased husband. But it had been different with Sarah. Although he knew it was the right thing to do, there had been no sense of relief that it was over. It felt like they hadn’t had a chance to really start a relationship. Sex had always been an important part of his relationships, yet with Sarah he hadn’t minded that it hadn’t happened. He was ready to wait as long as it took for her to be ready. He moved on, with Gina, but he still felt no closure with Sarah.

“Uh…Mike? Mike…Logan, is it?” A voice interrupted his reverie and he looked up see a man standing next to him. It took a moment to place where he knew him from and then he realized this was the man who had been with Sarah the night he and Gina were coming out of the movie theater.

“Yeah….and you are…Jerry?” Mike shook hands with the man.

“I’m here with a couple of friends and thought I recognized you. How are you?”

“I’m good, thanks. How are you? And, uh, how is Sarah?”

“I’m good. Sarah’s good.” Jerry hesitated a moment. “I should get back to my friends. Good to see you. Are you waiting for your….girlfriend?”

“My girlfriend?” Mike looked at him quizzically. “Oh…Gina? No, Gina and I aren’t together anymore. I’m here alone. But I was just getting ready to leave. Tell Sarah….uh, tell her hello from me, OK?”

“Sure, I’ll do that.”

Terry watched the detective get up and walk out of the bar, lost in thought.

******************************************************************

“So?” Sarah sat across from Jerry in a diner near the library. He had dropped in and insisted she go to lunch with him. Once settled, he told her about running into Mike Logan at the bar….alone.

“So maybe you should give him a call,” Jerry told her.

“Why would I do that?”

“Because he’s available, you’re available. Unless you’ve found your soul mate in the three weeks since I saw you last.”

Sarah stuck her tongue out at him and then laughed. “No, no soul mates. But it’s been almost a year since Mike and I went out. What makes you think he wants to now?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t. But you do. And you won’t know if he does unless you ask.”

“And who says I want to go out with Mike Logan?”

“I do. Look, Sarah, you said that both of you agreed that you weren’t ready for a relationship and that’s why you stopped seeing one another. A year has gone by and I know you haven’t jumped into any long term relationships, but you’ve been dating and you’ve stopped wearing your wedding ring. Maybe it’s time to consider the possibility of a real relationship with another man.”

Sarah smiled. “I have a relationship with you.”

“A romantic relationship…don’t be obtuse.”

She shrugged. “But I was really starting to care about him, and it was hard when we decided not to see each other anymore. What if I start seeing him again and it doesn’t work out…again?”

“Well,” Jerry crossed his arms and leaned them on the table, “that holds true with every man you go out on a date with, doesn’t it? I mean, it might lead to something long term or it might not. I think the only way to avoid the ‘what ifs’ is to join a convent and never date again.”

“Yes…” she said thoughtfully. “But Mike….” She hesitated and blushed. “Mike isn’t like anyone else I’ve dated. I think….” She trailed off.

“You think he might be someone that you want something long term with, and you haven’t wanted that with anyone else since Tony died.”

Jerry grinned at the blush that crept over her face as he finished her thought. She didn’t answer and he let the subject drop. But as he walked her back to the library before returning to his office, he gave her a hug.

“You don’t have to do anything right now, but just think about calling him, OK?” She nodded and hugged him back.

Two weeks later, Sarah smiled when she looked up to see Annie Paine and her children entering the front door of the library. The children brought the books they were returning to the bin next to the desk and then they gathered around Sarah to tell her how much they liked the books they had just read.

“Well, I think I missed this tribe the last time you came in. What have you all been up to? No more shaving the dog, I hope?”

Sarah and Annie laughed as the children giggled. Annie had told Sarah about the twins shaving poor Sandy after reading a book about lions that Sarah had recommended to them.

“No,” Andrew told her earnestly, “but we went to a funeral.”

Sarah stopped laughing. “Oh I’m sorry to hear about that. Was it a family member?”

Phillip said, “Daddy says he’s family ‘cause he was a cop.”

“A cop?” Sarah looked at Annie. “Uncle Jimmy didn’t mention anything about a cop dying.”

Annie shook her head. “He didn’t die on the job and the captain may not have known him. Before he retired, he was a homicide detective at the 2-7. And…he worked on my case a few years ago.”

“Daddy says Detective Briscoe was a good guy,” Ally told her.

Sarah blinked and looked from Ally back to Annie. “Detective Briscoe? L…Lennie Briscoe?”

“Yes, did you know him?”

Sarah nodded slowly, memories of a Super Bowl party overwhelming her. “Yes…at least I met him once. He was a friend of…a friend. He…he was very nice.”

“Yes,” Annie agreed, “Lennie Briscoe was a prince. He’ll be missed.”

Sarah thought about Mike and his friendship with Lennie. Annie was right; Lennie would be missed. She wondered how Mike had taken the news. She smiled and waved as Annie and the children moved off towards the stacks. She enjoyed the Goren family; the children always looked as though they were on a treasure hunt as they looked for books to take home.

Sarah stopped on the way home to look for a birthday present for her father. Wandering through the men’s department, her eyes fell on the racks of ties and she stopped to look through them…wondering if a tie was too boring to give to her father. She let the ties slip through her fingers, enjoying the varied colors and the feel of the different fabrics. Suddenly she stood riveted as she looked at one tie lying across her palm. Thin lines of red and blue against a dark blue background formed a plaid pattern. She stared at the tie as memories of a tall, dark-haired detective with an infectious smile swirled through her. She remembered the night she met him at Peter J’s, while on a disastrous blind date with another man, the way his eyes had lit up with appreciation at the sight of Tony’s Cadillac, the sound of his laugh….the feel of his lips on hers and his arms around her.

Sarah’s fingers closed around the tie and she pulled it from the rack. Making a decision, she marched up to the checkout and paid for the tie before she could change her mind. She asked to have it gift-wrapped…in Valentine’s wrapping. With the package under her arm, she made her way out of the store. She could shop for her father over the weekend. Tonight there was something she needed to do.

*****************************************************************

Mike sat on his couch, flipping channels on the television…looking for something that wasn’t a romance. He sighed in disgust. There didn’t seem to be anywhere to go to escape Valentine’s Day, not even his own apartment. He finally settled on CNN; news about wars and famine would be preferable to another sappy love story. He decided whoever had invented Valentine’s Day was a sadist. It was a holiday that created unrealistic expectations that were doomed. Single people felt like failures for not finding “the one”. Couples felt like failures because inevitably one or both of them fell short of the “perfect romantic gift”.

He was right…2005 sucked. Lennie’s death, breaking up with Gina, and now….he closed his eyes and allowed the thought he had been holding at bay to bounce around in his mind. Today was one year since he and Sarah decided to stop seeing one another. It’s been a year Logan, and it was never that serious anyway. Let it go. A knock on the door pulled his attention away from the dark laughing eyes that still haunted him. He looked at the clock, wondering who would be dropping in on him. Mike opened the door to find those same dark eyes looking at him.

“Sarah? Wh…what are you doing here?”

She looked at him hesitantly. “I…I just heard about Lennie. I’m so sorry Mike. If I had known, I would have called you. Lennie was so nice and I…I know how close you were.”

Mike smiled sadly at her. “Thank you, Sarah. I appreciate that. But…you didn’t have to make a trip over here. You could have called.”

She nodded and looked down at his jeans and bare feet. He could see the tension on her face as she clutched her purse tightly in front of her. She took a deep, shaky breath and looked up at him, not quite meeting his eyes.

“Mike…are you…seeing anyone? Anyone special?”

He managed to stop his mouth from dropping open. “Uh…no…no one special.” At her silence he asked softly, “Are you?”

Now she looked at his eyes, but glanced away quickly, shaking her head no. She was so obviously uncomfortable that Mike was tempted to say something, anything, to ease the tension. But he didn’t, waiting in silence for her to make the next move. Finally she took another deep breath, squared her shoulders, and raised her head, meeting his gaze.

“I have only had sex with one man in my life….my husband,” she announced.

Mike fought to keep the smile off his face, especially when he caught sight of his elderly neighbor in the doorway of her apartment directly behind Sarah…with a scandalized look on her face. She quickly stepped back into her apartment and closed the door. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned his shoulder against the door frame.

“OK,” he said.

“I don’t think I can have sex with a man unless I am in love with him, and I don’t know if I’m in love with you.”

“OK,” he repeated, dangerously close to laughing.

“But I’d like to find out.”

“You would?”

“Yes I would. So if you are interested in seeing me, you know how to get in touch with me.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a package wrapped in paper covered with hearts. She slapped the package against his chest with more force than necessary and he caught it before it could fall. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” Sarah said. She turned and walked quickly towards the stairway.

“Hey,” he called just as she started down. She stopped and turned towards him, her hand on the banister. “Do you like spaghetti?”

“Do I…what?” She looked confused.

“Do you like spaghetti,” he repeated slowly.

“Yes,” she said uncertainly.

“Mrs. Ponce, down the hall…she likes to cook and bring me food. She always brings way too much…and tonight she brought me spaghetti. There’s more than enough for two people…if you’re hungry.” When she didn’t answer, he added, “There’s garlic bread, too.”

A small smile teased at the corners of her mouth. She turned and walked back, stopping to stand in front of him. He was still leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed; now holding the package she had thrust at him.

“I stopped wearing my wedding ring,” she told him softly.

Mike smiled at her. “Is that a good thing?” She nodded her head wordlessly and Mike said, “Well then…congratulations.”

The blush that crept over her face caused Mike to grin at her. He straightened and stepped aside so she could enter. He turned off the TV (who needed the pressure of romantic movies?) and put a CD on. Soft strains of jazz created a peaceful background as they talked.

They sat on the couch to eat Mrs. Ponce’s spaghetti and meatballs. Mike poured a glass of wine for each of them and relaxed against the cushions, remembering all over again how easy she was to talk to. She asked him about Lennie and he felt relief to be able to tell story after story about his friend.

He could see her nervousness give way to ease as she listened to his stories. She smiled and her face lit up with pleasure. They caught up on the events of the last year, talking and laughing for well over two hours. He opened the present she had brought and was touched that she remembered the story of his plaid ties. Sarah helped him wash the dishes and put the remainder of the spaghetti in the refrigerator. Mrs. Ponce did indeed prepare an enormous amount of food. Except for an occasional brush of fingers when handing one another a plate or a glass they didn’t touch, instead keeping an unspoken agreement not to rush. Sarah watched him putting the plates in the cupboard, his back to her. She admired the way his tee shirt hitched up, exposing jeans that just clung to his hips, not quite tightly enough to be constrictive. He turned as she was lost in thought and caught her watching him. He smiled as he crossed his arms and leaned his hip against the counter.

Sarah blushed furiously and said, “I really should go now, it’s getting late.” He said nothing as he continued to grin knowingly at her. She chuckled and shook her head. “Thank you for dinner, Mike. I had a nice time tonight.”

“So did I. Thank you for coming over.” He stood up and moved towards the living room. “Let me get my shoes and socks on so I can walk you to your car.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“Yes I do,” he said firmly.

Still he didn’t touch her as they walked the two blocks to her car.

“No Caddy tonight?” Mike sounded disappointed and Sarah laughed.

“Did you walk me to my car just so you could see the Caddy,” she teased.

“No,” he said, stepping closer. Her back was against the car and Mike stood facing her, not quite touching, with his hands resting on the roof of the car on either side of her. “I walked you to your car because I thought it would be safer to do this in a public place,” he said softly as he lowered his head to hers.

Her gasp of surprise was cut off when his mouth covered hers. Her lips opened beneath his and she returned his kiss with passion. She followed his lead, however, and did not touch him except for the contact of the kiss. He rotated his head and took his time slowly exploring her mouth with his tongue and coaxing hers to explore his in return. After what seemed like hours, Mike pulled away and looked into her half-closed eyes.

“Good night, Sarah,” he said softly, reaching behind her to open her door.

“Good night,” she whispered as she slipped into the driver’s seat.

Maybe, Mike thought as he walked back to his apartment, just maybe 2005 won’t suck after all.

******************************************************************

Uncharacteristically, Bobby found himself alone in his house. Someone was always around, which was most definitely a good thing. He liked the sounds, the smells, the life of his home. He’d had enough quiet in his life. Even on the occasions that he retreated to his office for head space to work through some details of a case that he couldn’t quite leave at the squad, he relished the sounds of his family upstairs, the clomping of feet, the running of water, the laughter. He even smiled over the arguing voices of the boys and the way Annie’s calm voice always seemed to bring things around.

He looked at the fresh flowers he had brought home for Valentine’s Day. No roses, he smiled wistfully. Annie often mentioned they seemed frightfully expensive for a flower with such a short shelf life. He figured that was part of her apparent aversion to roses for Valentine’s Day. Truthfully, he guessed that she liked to defy convention a bit. Easy enough to pick up a dozen roses at the bus stop on Valentine’s day. So, Bobby made a special trip to her favorite florist and asked for gathered stems of a variety of different colored Gerber daisies. They were brilliant and sunny and strong and long lasting – like Annie.

“Hey babe, we’re home,” Annie called as the door exploded open full of kids and life and love. He could hear the boys scramble for the front room hoping to get in a video game before dinner. He could hear his daughter’s footsteps on the stairs. At least Ally called out a muffled, “hey dad” before she was entirely up stairs.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Annie’s bright smile overshadowed the daisies as she entered the kitchen. “These are beautiful.”

“Like you,” Bobby articulated what he’d been thinking about earlier.

“They’re perfect,” Annie touched their strong stems and soft petals. “And don’t you dare say, perfect like me.” She winked.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.” Bobby kissed his wife on her temple.

“I took the kids to the library today,” Annie offered as she closed her eyes against Bobby’s kiss.

“Yeah?” Bobby wondered why Annie was bringing this up, she rarely just brought anything up out of the blue unless something was on her mind.

“Sarah, the librarian, she’s so wonderful.” Annie mused.

“Yeah, she is.”

“I mentioned going to Detective Briscoe’s funeral,” Annie continued.

“And?”

“Nothing, though, well, Sarah looked sad, said she knew him, Detective Briscoe.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Detective Briscoe was partners with Mike Logan, right?”

“I don’t know, yeah, I think so,” Bobby stumbled over his reply knowing exactly where his wife’s mind was headed.

“Do you suppose Mike Logan is still seeing Gina?”

“Always the matchmaker,” Bobby took Annie into his arms.

“It is Valentine’s Day,” Annie laughed.

“Exactly, which is why we should stop talking and start…” Bobby laughed as well as he kissed his wife.

“Yes, this is better than talking,” Annie murmured against his lips as she yielded into his arms.

“Then why are you still talking?”


End Chapter 8

mmmmm......wow! Two great chapters! The second one was a nice change of pace from the others.

LOVED Sarah grabbing the tie for Mike and marching herself over to his house to give it to him. And that kiss? Well, um.....::thud!!::

Bobby getting Annie those lovely Gerber Daisies for V-Day? Too much! Once again, nice job, Squarey!

::looks around::

So, is chapter 9 ready yet?

Working on it! I have several scenes running through my head, I'm just not sure what order they'll end up. And Deakins has taken a front row seat.....Just what I need, ANOTHER Major Case guy in my head! No telling what will happen after Sunday's episode with Zach Nichols....can a head actually explode?

Not without some serious firepower to assist it....thank goodness! lol BUT -- It can sure feel like it!

This chapter picks up about 3 months after chapter 8…just at the end of My Good Name, and then jumps ahead 2 more months.

The scene with Bobby and Alex in the bar was written by Squarey.

Thank you again to Spook for beta’ing.


“There goes the greatest cop I ever knew.”

Jimmy Deakins stood between Goren and Eames, watching Frank Adair being led from the squad room….in handcuffs. He wasn’t sure which was harder; finding out that his old friend and boss was involved in extramarital affairs and two murders, or having to tell Frank’s wife, Marie, what Frank had done. Deakins exchanged a look with his detectives then turned and walked into his office. He closed the door firmly and moved to his desk. His eye fell a paper lying on his desk. “Transfer Denied”….signed by the Chief of Detectives.

Sighing, he picked up the phone and called Angie. Telling his wife this sordid story wasn’t much easier than telling Frank’s wife had been. But Marie would need someone to prop her up, a strong shoulder to cry on, and there was no one better than Angie in a crisis. Glancing at her picture on his desk, hearing her confident voice on the phone reassuring him that she was on her way to Marie’s, he was grateful once again that she had said yes to his proposal all those years ago.

Hanging up the phone, secure that Angie would know the right thing to say and do, he looked again at the paper on his desk. “Transfer Denied”. This was the second time in six months that he had tried to get Mike Logan transferred to his squad. Being the elite squad that Major Case was, he had always had his pick of detectives. There had been questions when he asked to have Goren transferred. He had a reputation for “over thinking” and being unconventional; some said he would have been more suitable as a profiler for the FBI than a detective in this city. But all Deakins had to do was look at Goren’s solve rate to see that he was a closer, and Deakins wanted him. He had decided to pair him up with the grounded, even-keeled Alex Eames. It was a good match, they complemented one another and worked well together…as evidenced by the highest solve rate in the squad.

He sighed and thought about Frank Adair. “The greatest cop I ever knew.” Good cops were not a dime a dozen, especially not in a force the size of the NYPD, with its politics and occasional corruption. His gut feeling was that Mike Logan was a good cop. This was confirmed by Lieutenant Van Buren at the 2-7. Deakins had been impressed by the way Logan handled himself in the investigation into the prison, the way he worked with Goren and Eames, the description Goren had given of how he reacted inside the prison when faced with four corrupt guards. Logan was a good cop. He had made mistakes and he had paid for them. It was time to bring him out of exile and get him back to the work he was cut out for. Deakins picked up the transfer request with “Transfer Denied” stamped in red. He crumpled it with a snort of disgust and threw it into the trash can. He picked up the phone and told his secretary, “Get me the Chief of D’s”.

Mike Logan was a good cop and Jimmy Deakins wanted, needed, good cops in his squad. Whatever it took, he was going to bring Logan over. He had been right about Goren, he had been right about partnering Goren and Eames, and he knew he was right about Logan. It would take three more months and it would take calling in several favors owed to him throughout the department, but the Chief of Detectives finally relented and Detective Mike Logan was reassigned from Staten Island to the Major Case Squad.

******************************************************************

“I called my dad last night,” Alex said. “I asked him what he remembered about Frank Adair, and he told me the exact same thing the captain said: ‘He’s the greatest cop I ever knew.’ The captain said Adair was always the first man through the door…how do you go from being that kind of cop to murdering two people?”

Tom shook his head. “Three alarm fires I understand. Murderers are your area of expertise, Detective.”

They were sitting on a bench in the park watching Tom’s son push his daughter on the swing, while Alex’s nephew slept in his stroller next to them.

“Bobby says that when a person starts compartmentalizing his life the way Adair did, it becomes possible to do something in one compartment that you wouldn’t ever dream of doing in another. Like when Adair put his life as a husband and father in one compartment that was completely separate from the one where he had two mistresses; or when his life as a cop is in one compartment and his life as a politician who will do whatever he needs to protect his image is in another.”

“Makes sense.” Tom nodded his head thoughtfully.

“I just don’t get it, though. As much as I love this little guy here,” she reached over to adjust the blanket covering the baby, “I don’t stop being a cop when I’m with him. And I don’t stop being his aunt when I’m at work.” She smiled ruefully at Tom. “I guess all my compartments are wide open.”

He grinned at her. “So is there a compartment for me in your life?”

She kept her eyes on the children, but smiled at the question. “Yeah…there’s a big compartment for you. But,” she added, stopping him before he could put his arm around her, “there are three little compartments here right now…all with big eyes.”

Tom withdrew his arm and laughed loudly, startling the baby, who settled back to sleep. He took Alex’s left hand in his right, lacing his fingers with hers.

She smiled again, still not looking at him. “I’m glad you’re in my life,” she said softly.

Tom raised her hand to his lips and brushed a soft kiss across her knuckles. “Back at ya, Detective. Back at ya.”

******************************************************************

Alex was running late meeting Bobby for drinks. She hated being late, but time just got away from her. She’d spent an incredible day with Tom and his kids and her nephew, and lingered at her sister’s house when she stopped to drop her nephew back by.

“Sorry I’m late,” the words were out of her mouth before she even sat down in the booth across from him.

“It’s okay,” he shrugged, pushing his empty glass around in front of him.

“I called but you didn’t pick up.” Alex looked for the waitress thinking she wasn’t in the mood for anything much more than a beer. She watched Bobby fumble with his jacket and retrieve his phone.

“It’s on vibrate, I must not’ve heard it,” he admitted in such a way that he brought Alex’s attention around.

“How long have you been waiting?”

“I dunno, an hour, maybe.”

“But I’m only a half an hour late.” When the server came by the table, Alex ordered a beer and turned her attention back around to Bobby, who ordered another scotch, neat.

“Got here early.” After a few tries, he switched his phone back to having the ringer on.

“Yeah, yeah you did.” Alex looked at him realizing that uncharacteristically her partner was a little drunk, or maybe more than a little, it was kind of hard for her to tell with him. “I was out with Tom,” she admitted, and Bobby smiled a little, as if he thought that was a good thing but he didn’t go on to say as much. Alex sat in silence for a few moments and then kind of blurted out what was on her mind, “I called my Dad and asked him about Frank Adair.”

“What didja do that for?” Bobby took a sip of his drink before the server even set it on the table.

“Just didn’t make any sense, for Deakins to think so highly of the guy and for things to land the way they landed.”

“Things don’t always make sense.” Bobby said, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand.

“You said that when a person starts compartmentalizing his life the way Adair did, it becomes possible to do something in one compartment that you wouldn’t ever dream of doing in another.” Alex paused and then continued, “that seems to make sense.”

“I don’t know what I was talking about. You can’t compartmentalize your life. What happens in one place always bleeds into the next.” Alex looked at her partner for a long quiet moment. Now she was positive he was drunk. He wasn’t his usual analytical self, what he’d said just then had a lot of personal spin. More than he usually revealed.

“What’s going on?” Alex asked.

“My dad, you know,” Bobby looked at her and then stopped talking. “You don’t know,” he shrugged as if he forgot he was talking with Alex and not Annie. Though, Alex did know more than he realized. She had put some things together over the years. His dad cheated on his family, with other women, by gambling.

“Marie, she seemed like she had no idea,” Alex offered the words, wondering if Bobby’s mom had any idea, or if Bobby had any idea. Clear enough to see looking back, but it must’ve been different when Bobby was a boy.

“I guess Adair was the greatest man at something, he was pretty great at keeping secrets from his family,” Bobby polished off his drink. “I gotta go.” Alex watched him stand slowly, drop some cash on the table for the check.

“Let me give you a ride,” she offered.

“It’s okay, I’ll grab a cab.” And he was gone before she could change his mind.

******************************************************************

Annie wandered down the row of books. Ally, having picked out her books, was sitting on the floor reading one of them while her mother perused the boring grown-up books. Annie loved libraries…even more than book stores. She loved owning books; loved to read her favorites over and over; loved the feel of a worn, well-loved book in her hands; loved to savor particularly beautiful passages. Although she loved owning books, there was something magical about a library that book stores didn’t have. The books in book stores were brand new; recent, classic, or popular; there were several of any given title, sometimes even rows of a particular title or author. But libraries had the history of collecting books over years; in the case of the New York Public Library, more than a hundred years. It gave her pleasure to simply walk up and down the stacks, running her fingers along the spines of books; some brand new, some old and somewhat fragile. If she hadn’t gone into nursing, she had always thought she might have been a librarian.

A librarian like Sarah. She was fond of the younger woman. Most of her contact with her had been here in this library, but there had been an occasional gathering at Captain Deakins’ home where the two women had been able to sit and talk. Annie and Bobby had met Sarah’s beautiful little daughter, Jia Li. They had met her late husband, as well, and Annie’s heart went out to Sarah after his death, the aura of sadness around her almost palpable.

As she pulled a book from a shelf and looked it over, she wondered idly if Sarah was dating anyone special, or if she was dating at all. They weren’t close friends, so Annie wasn’t someone Sarah would have confided in. But Annie thought it would be nice to know that Sarah had someone special in her life. Maybe she was interested in meeting a handsome cop. She smiled as she looked up and saw the object of her reverie come around the corner.

“Annie! Hi, I didn’t see you come in,” Sarah greeted her. “Is the rest of the family here?”

“Yes, they are all here…somewhere. I’m sure my husband is over in the research department…trying to convince the boys that research is as much fun as reading fiction,” she laughed. Sarah laughed with her and turned to move on, when Annie stopped her. “Sarah…I was just wondering…if you might be interested in meeting someone. A man…someone nice that I thought you….might like….” She stammered nervously.

Sarah smiled at her. “That’s very nice, Annie, thank you. But I’m seeing someone already.”

“You are?” Annie’s face brightened, but good manners wouldn’t allow her to ask any of the questions rushing through her mind.

Sarah saw the curiosity on Annie’s always expressive face and laughed softly. Her attention was caught by the tall man, followed by two smaller versions of himself, walking softly up behind Annie and she smiled at him and then at Annie. “It’s kind of a new relationship and I’m not really ready to talk about him. But when the time is right, I’ll be happy to tell you all about him. I’ll see you when you check out.”

Annie smiled as Sarah walked away, then started as Bobby leaned down to laugh softly next to her ear. She hadn’t seen or heard him approaching.

“You scared me,” she exclaimed. “Warn me when you’re sneaking up on me,” she scolded teasingly.

“Ah,” he said, dropping a light kiss on top of her head, “but then I wouldn’t be able to catch you in your matchmaking schemes.”

“Exactly,” Annie laughed, turning towards him. She smiled up at him. He had been moody lately; she read about the arrest of Frank Adair and suspected he had worked on that case. A cop gone bad, even if he was a former cop, was something that would weigh on him. But today he was relaxed and enjoying his family. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“Yes. Are you ready to go?”

“I’m ready,” she sighed and Bobby chuckled at her, knowing that her suggestion that they visit the library today was geared primarily to lure Sarah into a blind date with Mike Logan.

“Then let’s go…I’m hungry.” She nodded and followed him towards the check-out desk, shushing three suddenly excited children trying to make their dinner preferences known.


******************************************************************


Sarah stood at the sink washing dishes. She had made dinner for Mike at his apartment. They had been dating for five months and she couldn’t believe how happy she was. After Tony died, her focus had been on making sure that Jia Li had a happy childhood that was not overshadowed by the tragedy of her father’s death. She had assumed that the rest of her own life would be spent in that shadow. At first she didn’t think she would ever be interested in another man. Then Mike had come along and she began to think of the possibility of another relationship. But it was too soon and she wasn’t ready to let Tony go. After she and Mike agreed to stop seeing each other she had dated a few men, but no one that she wanted more than friendship from. And then Mike had come back into her life.

He made her laugh and made her heart flutter. He took her to dinner, to movies, to jazz clubs, to ball games….and sometimes just to his apartment for a lazy Sunday afternoon spent on the couch with him watching a game and her reading a book. He accepted the relationship on her terms; seeing her when she was able to find a babysitter for Jia Li, only picking her up at her house if Jia Li was not there, understanding that her daughter had first claim on her time, accepting that she wasn’t ready for sex. He never complained, never asked for more than she was willing or able to give. So, as Sarah stood at the kitchen sink in Mike Logan’s apartment, she wondered if there really was such a thing as “the perfect man”, because she thought he must be as close to perfect as it was possible to be.

Mike was talking, telling her a story while she washed dishes and he put leftover food in the refrigerator. She was only half-listening, enjoying the sound of his voice more than the actual words he was speaking, and enjoying the cozy feel of domesticity. As much as she loved the convenience of a dishwasher, she also enjoyed the feel of hot, sudsy water against the latex gloves that protected her hands, the slippery feel of the dishes as she rubbed the dish cloth over them, the water sheeting over them as she rinsed the soapy water off, and the way they gleamed in the dish drainer, waiting to be dried and put away. Such a visceral response to something as mundane as washing dishes, she thought. She watched the bright yellow gloves on her hands and it seemed incongruous to think of Mike Logan standing in a store, picking them out, deciding which gloves to wear to protect his hands from the soap and hot water.

It suddenly occurred to Sarah that he had fallen silent. She didn’t turn, but she could feel his eyes on her, watching her, lingering on her hips as she leaned lightly against the counter. She felt more than heard him moving towards her, felt the heat of his body as he stood behind her, felt his breath flutter across her hair, and then his arms slowly and gently circling her waist, his chest coming into contact with the back of her shoulders, his lips brushing against her ear. She leaned her head back against him and closed her eyes as his lips moved to the sensitive spot just below her ear, then down to her throat. She shivered faintly as his tongue lightly skimmed over her skin.

“Do you have any idea how much you turn me on when you do that?” His lips were against her throat, his words murmured softly.

Sarah smiled, her eyes still closed. “Washing the dishes? You should see me take out the trash.”

He chuckled softly and continued to nibble at her throat. Her heartbeat picked up as his thumbs began to softly circle on her ribs, just below her breasts. She relaxed back against him and wiggled her hips slightly, felt his breath catch at the movement. She opened her eyes and lifted her head, reached for the towel to dry the gloves before pulling them off her hands. She turned to face him, his arms still around her, his head lowered, which brought his mouth into contact with hers. Her hands rested lightly against his chest as he gently tugged her bottom lip with his teeth and then covered her mouth with his, his tongue teasing hers. Her hands closed to grip his shirt as he moved to kiss her face, eyes, and cheeks, back to her throat.

When he lifted his head, Sarah’s hands moved up to cup his face. She rubbed the palm of one hand against his cheek and with the other began to trace his features with her forefinger. He closed his eyes and sighed as her hands traveled across his skin. She reached up to plant soft kisses on his chin and cheek, trailing her finger down his throat, his chest, coming to rest at the V of his shirt at the first button. Her other hand moved down to his shirt and her lips followed the trail down his throat. Her fingers gently opened the first button, then the second, moving lower. Mike froze, barely breathing as her lips left light kisses along his chest as she opened his shirt. Once it was completely unbuttoned her fingers brushed the bare skin of his stomach.

She raised her head and looked up into his eyes, her hands resting lightly on his waist. His hazel eyes darkened with desire as they stared at one another in silence for several long moments. Mike’s hands moved to hold her face and he lowered his face to hers, almost touching. She felt his breath skitter across her skin as he looked at her intently.

“Are you sure,” he whispered.

Wordlessly she nodded her head. Mike kissed her, gently at first, then building in passion as he deepened the kiss and pulled her face even closer. He raised his head and looked at her again for a moment, then straightened. Taking her hand he pulled her gently after him as he moved from the kitchen, through the living room, to his bedroom.

Once in the bedroom, Mike pulled her into his arms and kissed her. They didn’t rush, taking their time and slowly undressing one another, enjoyed the slow revealing of their bodies. He pulled her onto the bed and they leisurely explored, reveling in the feel, taste, and scent that built their desire slowly, but steadily until Sarah couldn’t wait any longer and pulled him to her.

Later, much later, Sarah lay sprawled on top of Mike, cheek against his chest, drowsy with satiation, feeling the air against the perspiration on their skin cooling them. His right hand was splayed across the small of her back as the fingers of his left hand idly twirled a strand of her dark hair. He gently kissed the top of her head.

“Can you stay?” His voice was low, soft, hoarse.

“Mmm, hmm.” Her voice was also soft. “Jia Li is with her grandparents this weekend. So I’m all yours….if you want.”

He wrapped his arms around her and flipped her onto her back, rolling on top of her. She squealed with surprise, smiling up at him as his hands framed her face.

“Oh I want, Sweetheart. Believe me, I want,” he laughed before covering her mouth with his and stifling her laughter.

******************************************************************

Two weeks later, Sarah walked into Peter J’s to meet Mike for a date. Before she had a chance to look around the bar for him he was there, grabbing her around the waist in an enthusiastic bear hug, lifting her off her feet as he planted a kiss on her mouth. Breathless with surprise, she didn’t get a chance to ask him what was going on before he swept her to a corner table in the back of the room. She didn’t think she had ever seen such a huge smile on his face.

“We are celebrating tonight,” he told her.

Sarah laughed and asked, “What exactly are we celebrating?”

“My release from hell,” Mike told her excitedly. “I’m getting a transfer out of Staten Island…to the Major Case Squad. One PP, Baby! Manhattan!”

“M..Major Case?” Sarah stammered with surprise. “H…How did that happen?”

“I worked a case with a couple of Major Case detectives last year…that prison thing that Gina was involved in. The captain decided he wanted me on the squad, but the last I heard, the Chief of D’s and nixed it. I guess Deakins finally persuaded him.”

“Deakins…” Sarah repeated.

“Yeah…Captain Jimmy Deakins.” He sobered for a moment, and squeezed her hand. “I can’t tell you how much it means that he went to bat for me. I just hope I don’t ever let him down.”

Sarah opened her mouth to tell Mike that she knew Captain Deakins, that he was her uncle, but she stopped when she looked at the earnest expression on his face. Mike didn’t know about her uncle; her uncle didn’t know about her relationship with Mike. Would it make it strange for them to begin working together if they knew? It might make things uncomfortable for both of them. Maybe she should give them time to get to know one another and establish a good working relationship before she told them. She smiled at Mike.

“You won’t let him down, Mike. I know you’re going to be a great addition to the squad. Congratulations. How are we going to celebrate?”

“Well, I’ve got…a few ideas,” Mike told her, leaning over to engulf her in an embrace and covering her mouth with his.

******************************************************************

Annie woke up and lay for a moment, hoping she could just drift back to sleep. But she soon realized that wasn’t going to happen until she made a trip to the bathroom. Before getting back in bed, she padded out into the hallway, to each of the children’s rooms to check on them. She paused in each doorway for a moment, watching them sleep, feeling her heart fill with love for them. Climbing back into bed, she looked over at Bobby’s broad back, covered by a tee-shirt. He must be exhausted, she thought. A light sleeper, it was rare that he didn’t wake up if she got up in the night.

Annie pulled the covers over her and scooted against his back, spooning his large body as best she could. Putting one arm around him, she dropped a light kiss on his back and then pressed her cheek against him. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment as she felt the gentle rise and fall of his breathing. She had just drifted off to sleep when the telephone by the bed rang, startling her awake. Bobby was already reaching for it. Annie sighed in disappointment, knowing that a call at this time of night usually meant that he and Alex had caught a case. She rolled onto her back with another gusty sigh.

“Yeah, I understand. Well…if you think it will help….OK…I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

He hung up the phone and rolled over to pull Annie into his arms. “I have to go,” he whispered.

“Was that Alex,” she asked, nuzzling her cheek against his stubble.

“No…it was Carmel Ridge. They are having a problem with my mother and want me to come up there.”

“Now? In the middle of the night?”

“They think she might calm down if I’m there.”

“We could ask Alex to come stay with the kids and I could go with you,” she offered. But she already knew his answer.

“That’s OK, you don’t need to go. I’ll take care of it,” he said.

He kissed her cheek and got out of bed. She lay and watched him get dressed. He sat on the bed to put his shoes and socks on. Before getting up, he leaned over and gave her a long kiss.

“Keep the bed warm for me,” he whispered.

She watched him walk out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.


End season 4
Next stop—season 5!

Here we begin season 5 right where they began…with Grow. This chapter starts just before the episode and continues on through. We will be switching back and forth between Bobby and Annie, and Mike and Sarah.

Thank you to my beta, Spook. And thank you to Judyg for the idea for the title.

Annie was breathing hard as she rounded the end of the high school football field on her last lap. It was August and still warm in the early evening. Sandy ran joyously ahead of her, barking and occasionally racing across the field after the birds that kept landing, looking for worms in the grass. There was a time when Bobby would have been with her, laughing as he jogged past her fast walk, with the children running around them or flopping on the grass to wait for them to finish. But running was out of the question for Bobby’s knee these days. Occasionally he would join her on her walk, but usually he stayed home with the children.

He had gained quite a bit of weight in the year since injuring his knee and she knew that made it more difficult for him to get out and exercise. She doubted that he was even using the treadmill in his office very often. It was a vicious cycle; the knee injury made exercise painful, so he exercised less, which led to gaining weight, which made his knee hurt more, which made it difficult to exercise. It hadn’t affected Annie’s desire to have sex, but it seemed to make him reluctant. She wanted to talk to him about it, reassure him that she found him attractive. But she didn’t know how to bring it up, and so she settled for simply trying to show him how she felt. His birthday was coming up later in the month. He would be forty-four, and she would follow him a couple of months later. She had joked with him that she resented him dragging her along behind him into their forties.

She finished her last lap and called to Sandy as she headed for the car. Back at the house, the boys were engrossed in a video game. When she finally got their attention long enough to ask where Ally and Bobby were, they told her Ally had gone out to the playhouse to read because she complained they were being too loud. They thought Daddy was in his office. Annie headed upstairs for a shower before starting dinner and was startled to find Bobby in the bedroom.

“The boys said you were in your office,” she told him, a bit breathlessly. She was amazed that after nearly fourteen years of marriage, his smile was just as devastating as the first time she met him.

“Well, when they are playing games, I doubt that they would notice if I left the house….or if I brought a pony into the living room.”

She laughed and Bobby reached out to pull her into his arms. She tried to move away, but he didn’t release her.

“I’m all sweaty and smelly,” she exclaimed. “Let me take a shower before you kiss me.”

He ignored her protests and captured her mouth with his, while pulling her onto the bed. She giggled and squirmed as his hands slipped under her shirt and began to explore.

“The kids are just downstairs,” she gasped.

He grinned down at her. “Ally’s nose is in a book and Phillip and Andrew are being hypnotized by their video games. We’ve got time.”

The giggling stopped when he began pulling her clothes off. Afterwards they showered together and dressed, going downstairs to find all three children still engaged in their respective activities. They vetoed votes for the boys to have dinner in front of the TV and for Ally to take her plate out to the playhouse.

Sitting at the table, Annie watched her family. Bobby and Ally were having an animated discussion about the book she was reading, while Phillip and Andrew were poking one another under the table and trying to sneak bites to Sandy. It was all so beautifully perfect that she couldn’t breathe for a moment. Bobby glanced up and caught the gleam of tears in her eyes. He smiled that same devastating smile before going back to his conversation with Ally.


******************************************************************

Bobby lay awake with Annie curled up against him, fast asleep. Although they had engaged in a “quickie” after Annie returned from her walk, when he came to bed very late that night she had rolled towards him and whispered, “Speak German to me, Bobby.” This was Annie’s code for wanting to make love. He found it amusing that she found his German so sexy, although she had no idea what he was saying. He had joked more than once that for all she knew he could be reciting the shopping list. He had even tested his theory on a few occasions and it was true; it didn’t matter if he was making up inane sentences, telling her how beautiful she was, or even using the dirty words he had learned…she found it all stimulating. She just laughed and said it was the sound of his voice forming the words that was so enticing to her.

He envied her ability to fall asleep quickly and soundly at almost any time of day or night. When she was pregnant with Ally, her family had joked that he would need to be the one getting up with the baby in the middle of the night because Annie slept so soundly that she would never hear the baby cry. That had turned out not to be true. She still slept soundly (and as often as possible), but from the moment Ally was born, her children’s cries or voices were the one thing guaranteed to awaken her instantly.

Bobby was wide awake tonight and knew it was unlikely that he would get much more than an hour or two of dozing in. He was tempted to get up and go downstairs to read, but he was reluctant to move or reposition his sleeping wife. So he stayed where he was, enjoying the feel of her limp body against him. He was well aware of the changes in his body over the last year and knew that Annie must be aware of them as well. But it didn’t seem to have affected her libido at all. He smiled as that thought came to him. Her face was so open and expressive that he had always been able to tell what she was thinking. When he caught her watching him these days, her face only showed….desire.

He missed talking to Annie, really talking to her. He wanted to tell her that Frank had contacted him, asking for money. He was gambling again…and probably using as well. Bobby didn’t ask this time, simply told him he couldn’t help him. So Frank went to their mother and she had asked, begged, him to help Frank. When he refused, she became angry and now barely spoke to him when he visited. This was exactly the kind of situation that Annie had always been so good at diffusing. But to talk to her now would only cause her to want to “fix” it, and he knew that she couldn’t. Not anymore, not the way his mother felt about her. It was better to just keep quiet about the whole thing.

Mom at least managed not to argue with him in front of the children. She talked to them and seemed to enjoy having them visit. He wondered if they picked up on the tension. Probably. He wondered if they said anything to their mother about Grandma being mad at Daddy. Probably not. They knew the situation between their grandmother and their mother; he doubted that they ever talked about their visits with their mother.

He sighed. He had grown up being careful about what he said and to whom. Mention his father to his mother and she flew into a rage that often ended with him crawling around on the floor, looking for imaginary bugs. Mention his mother to his father and there would be a tirade about how crazy she was. This wasn’t the kind of childhood he wanted for his own children…always measuring what they could say, always trying to protect one parent or the other.

His silence about his mother and his brother had begun to bleed over into a reluctance to talk to Annie about his work, something else he missed. Just as he and Eames used one another as sounding boards for evidence and information, working through to find the clues that would lead to an arrest, he had always used Annie as a sounding board to work through the emotional impact of so many of their cases. But since a lot of that was related to his childhood and his relationships with his family, it was just easier not to bring it up at all.

Annie murmured softly in her sleep, shifting slightly. He threaded his fingers through her long, blonde hair and let the strands slip through, relishing the silken feel as they slid against his skin. People seemed to think he was such an expert in human behavior, but he had no answers for his own marriage, his own family. One thing he understood, though; he loved this woman sleeping in his arms and he had no doubt about her love for him. Was the song right, he wondered. Is love all we need? He chuckled suddenly and Annie stirred again, then settled back to sleep. I must be tired if I’m looking to the Beatles for advice. He pulled Annie closer and buried his face in her hair. Closing his eyes, he pushed away his worries and disturbing thoughts and drifted to sleep thinking only about Annie.



******************************************************************


“So are you nervous,” Sarah asked.

“Nah…” Sarah smiled and Mike grinned at her and gave a slight shrug. “Maybe just a little.”

They were waiting for the waitress to bring their breakfast orders. Sarah had insisted on taking him to breakfast on his first day at Major Case. She dropped Jia Li at her mother’s earlier than usual and met Mike at a diner that was situated half-way between her library and One Police Plaza. The waitress set their plates in front of them. Sarah noticed that Mike didn’t seem as hungry as usual.

“You’re going to do great, you know. And,” she added with a smile, “you won’t have to take the ferry when you want to have lunch with me now.”

Mike looked at her with a serious expression and reached across the table to take her hand.

“You know, Sarah…the kind of cases they get at Major Case…I don’t know that I’m going to be around 1 PP all that often. I may not be able to drop in for lunch too often.”

“I was kidding Logan,” Sarah laughed and laced her fingers through his, reached across to catch his other hand as well. “You really are going to do great. This Captain….Deakins…he must think a lot of you and your record to get you in his squad.”

Mike closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head disbelievingly. “Lieutenant Van Buren tried several times to get me back to the 2-7 and couldn’t. I don’t even want to think about the strings Deakins had to pull to get me here.” He looked at her somberly. “I owe the guy a lot. I just hope….” He trailed off.

“You won’t let him down,” Sarah insisted. “If your former lieutenant and now the captain both think you are a good cop, there has to be a reason for that. Maybe,” she said with a glimmer of humor, “it’s because you really are a good cop.”

Mike glanced at his watch. “Yeah, well…I better get going or this good cop is going to be late on his first day. That would make a great impression on Deakins.”

Sarah laughed and grabbed the check before Mike had a chance to reach for it. “I told you this is my treat…hands off, Detective.”

Mike walked Sarah to her car. Pausing on the sidewalk, Mike suddenly pulled her into his arms and captured her mouth with his for a long, passionate kiss. Sarah was breathless and speechless when he finally raised his head and looked down at her.

“Thank you,” he said huskily.

“For what,” she whispered.

“For being my cheering squad.” He kissed her again quickly and then escorted her around to the driver’s side. After she was inside and the door was closed, Mike leaned his hands against the window for a brief moment before nodding to her and walking down the street to where his car was parked.


******************************************************************


“Today was Mike Logan’s first day,” Annie said. “How did he do?”

She and Alex were having dinner after going to the gym. Alex grinned.

“OK. He was tied to the captain’s apron strings all day.”

“What do you mean?”

“Deakins had Logan going over manuals, procedures, stuff like that. The desk he gave him is this little, rickety thing right outside Deakins’ office.”

“Sounds like a kid in school being sent to sit in the corner,” Annie mused.

“Yeah…kind of the same thing,” Alex told her.

“But why? The captain wanted Logan, didn’t he?”

“Sure, he wanted him. In fact, he said he had to use some favors to get him to Major Case.”

“So why the short leash?”

Alex shrugged. “Logan’s got a reputation as a good cop, a good homicide detective…and as a hothead. If he goes off after the captain went to bat for him, it’ll be bad for Deakins. He’s just being cautious.”

“Hmm…Cops…” Annie said with a smile. “You really do have your own culture, don’t you?” Alex laughed with her. “He didn’t happen to mention if he’s still with Gina, did he?”

“No, it didn’t come up,” Alex said with a slight frown at the turn in the conversation. “Why?”

“Oh…nothing. It’s a moot point now. I was just thinking it might be nice for Mike to meet Sarah.”

“Sarah? Captain Deakins’ niece? Well, I’m sure they will meet one of these days. She comes in to take the captain to lunch once in a while. And the Deakins’ invite people from the squad over to their house. But why Sarah,” she asked. Alex was well aware of Annie’s matchmaking tendencies, having been a target on a few occasions. “Mousy, quiet, librarians don’t really seem like Logan’s type.”

Annie laughed. “Mousy and quiet do not describe Sarah! She’s funny and smart and pretty and….”

“Well-read,” Alex interrupted with a laugh.

“Yes, that too,” Annie agreed. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I told Sarah not too long ago that there was someone I thought she might like to meet. She said she’s dating someone.”

“Ah....so Logan is safe for now,” Alex teased.

“For now,” Annie said with a chuckle.

They chatted as they ate their food, talking about children, work, family. As they were leaving the restaurant to head to their respective cars, Alex stopped and asked with a serious expression, “How…How is Bobby?”

“He’s fine.” Annie looked at Alex suspiciously. “Why?” She was curious why Alex would ask how he was when she saw him every day at work.

Alex shook her head. “No reason…it’s just that…a while back, right after we arrested Frank Adair, we met for drinks one day…and Bobby was…well, he was kinda drunk.”

“Drunk? At a bar?” Annie smiled at her.

“Yeah, I know. It’s silly. But I was late getting there and he…was already drunk when I got there. It just seemed like something was bothering him, but he didn’t say anything. He hasn’t mentioned his mother or his brother lately. Is everything OK with them?”

Alex regretted the question as soon as it was out of her mouth. She saw the hurt flash across Annie’s face. So there was something going on with his family. But Annie was obviously not going to talk about it, either.

“As far as I know, everything is fine,” she said, trying to look neutral and failing. “Bobby…well, he didn’t really talk about it much, but I know that case bothered him a lot. He was probably just trying to relieve the stress. He’s been fine.”

Alex didn’t know what to do to ease the discomfort they were both obviously feeling now, so she just said, “Good. Well. I better get going. See you next week?”

Annie nodded. “Next week.” Without warning she suddenly reached out and hugged Alex. “Thanks for being such a good partner to him,” she whispered before releasing her and hurrying down the street to her car.

Alex watched her for a moment. She berated herself all the way back to her car. This was the reason she and Annie had an unspoken agreement not to talk about Bobby, but tonight Alex had broken that agreement. She didn’t know what was going on with her partner, but obviously his wife was concerned as well.


******************************************************************


“Nicole Wallace?” Annie blinked, then turned to stare at Bobby. “You have got to be kidding me. Nicole Wallace is back?”

Bobby nodded and watched Annie’s face. They were in Bobby’s Mustang, driving home from the shooting range, following Annie’s monthly target practice. Bobby and Alex had discovered Nicole working in the library of a college while investigating the murder of a health inspector. They arrested her and took her in for questioning. He had wanted to wait to tell Annie about Nicole because target practice was always difficult for her. She didn’t like handling the gun, hated shooting it. But he insisted that once a month she practice loading and shooting his gun. He felt it was important for her to be familiar with the gun, although it was kept in a lock box while at home. So, although it wasn’t the best time to give her the bad news, he wanted to tell her about Nicole while they were alone.

She sighed wearily and asked, “So who has she killed this time?”

“A health inspector. She is seeing the brother of the inspector, a widower with a little girl. We think she also killed his wife.”

“Wonderful. But she’s in jail now? She won’t get out?”

“No. When she is arraigned, Carver will ask for remand.” Bobby took her hand and brought it to his lips, while keeping his eyes on the road. “We don’t have enough to charge her with either of these murders yet. But she’ll be arraigned for the murder of the girl she was with last time, the one she taught to steal. And Australia should be seeking extradition soon for the murder of her daughter. She’s not getting out,” Bobby said confidently.


******************************************************************


Mike pushed his food around on his plate with his fork, as Sarah watched. They were having lunch, but Mike wasn’t eating very much.

“Don’t like the food,” Sarah asked with a smile.

He looked up at her and shrugged. “It’s been two weeks and Deakins has me doing ‘gofer’ stuff. Filing, running down reports from the ME or CSU…you know, for the real detectives.” He sighed and gave her a smile. “He doesn’t trust me.”

“That can’t be true, Mike. You said yourself that it must have taken some effort for him to get you transferred.”

“Maybe he’s regretting it now.”

“I don’t believe that. He just doesn’t have a partner for you yet. What about the other detectives? Have you talked to any of them?”

“Oh sure…when they send me off to chase down a report for them,” Mike told her sarcastically. He sighed. “Seriously, though, they are all OK. I’ve worked with Goren and Eames once before. My first week, I kind of stepped on their toes, asked one of their suspects some questions. But they seemed OK with it, appreciated the answers I got from him.”

Sarah propped her elbow on the table and leaned her cheek against her hand. “It’s going to get better, Mike.”

“Yeah.”

As he walked her back to the library, Sarah wondered if she should mention that Captain Deakins was her uncle. She had wanted to wait until Uncle Jimmy and Mike had time to get to know one another, to develop a working relationship. But she hated seeing Mike discouraged like this. What she wanted more than anything was to confront her uncle….and tell him what, she wondered. Be nice to my boyfriend?

“What are you smiling about?” Mike’s voice brought her back to the present.

“You,” she said, turning to look up at him. “Thinking about you always makes me smile.”

He grinned at her and dropped a light kiss on her nose. “I haven’t been very good company lately,” he said with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re always good company…even when you are in a bad mood.”

He reached around and gently tugged on her pony tail. “See you this weekend?”

She nodded. “Jia Li has a birthday party to go to on Sunday. But we can do something Saturday night.”

“OK. Saturday night. We’ll do….something.” She blushed at his innuendo, just as he had hoped she would. Kissing her quickly, Mike said, “I better go. I’m sure Deakins has something for me to file. I’ll call you tonight.”


******************************************************************


Annie was vigorously vacuuming the living room carpet, lost in thought as Sandy danced around her, barking. It was her day off and the children were in school. The house had been thoroughly scrubbed as she tried to find a way to release her angry energy. Earlier in the week Nicole Wallace had been released on bail following her arraignment. An arraignment that Bobby had assured Annie would result in Nicole being remanded to custody without bail. But somehow her lawyer had managed to convince the judge to let her have bail, and her fiancé had posted it. How did she always manage to find loopholes to slip through?

Nicole on the loose meant long hours for Bobby and Alex as they tried to find the evidence they needed to put her away. Even when he was home, he stayed down in his office going over files, reading, searching the internet, trying to find something, anything, that would close the net around Nicole. Annie didn’t understand just what it was about the blonde serial killer that captivated Bobby’s complete attention. Was it that she always got away, that she was one “perp” he could never seem to put away? Or was it, as Nicole liked to insinuate whenever she played her little games with Annie, because he was—in some perverse way—attracted to her? Whatever it was, Annie was tired of Nicole Wallace and her intrusion into their lives.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, and the noise of the vacuum was so loud, that it took several minutes before she realized that Sandy was no longer chasing the vacuum cleaner and barking at it. She was barking at the front door. Annie hadn’t heard the doorbell, but the dog had. She turned off the vacuum just as it rang again. She wondered how long the person had been standing there as she crossed the living room.

“Sit Sandy,” she commanded the dog as she reached to open the door. She stood speechless, staring, unable to believe who was standing there.

“Hello Annie. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”


End Chapter 1

Bobby can speak to me in any language he likes (though French would be particularly nice) I wonder what Nicole wants with Annie. Thanks for another good chapter.

My first thought was Nicole, too, but -- it could just as easily be FRANK standing outside the front door.......

We are still in the time frame of the episode Grow. I thought we would be visiting Mike and Sarah, but Bobby and Annie took up all my time for this one!

Thank you Spook, as always, for being such a great beta!

Mature theme warning: The last scene is more explicit than I usually post and you should skip it if you are not comfortable. There is an even more explicit version on ff.net and I want to thank Flashymom for editing the scene for posting here.

“Hello Annie. Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Of course I’m not going to invite you in, Nicole.” She wished she could control the slight quaver in her voice. It was always an unwelcome shock when Nicole Wallace made contact with her, but this was the first time she had come to their home. Although she had never overtly threatened Annie, it was unsettling to realize she was in the presence of someone who killed without qualms.

“You silly goose!” Nicole’s laugh was merry. The thought crossed Annie’s mind that it was a laugh she would have found enchanting…if she didn’t know who it belonged to. “I know all about your trips to Connecticut with the children…Bobby’s efforts to protect you all from me, I suppose. Don’t you think that if I were capable of doing the things Bobby has accused me of, and if I really wanted to harm you or your children…well, wouldn’t I have done it already?”

“So you’re asking me to trust you?”

“Really, Annie, I just want to talk.” Nicole slipped past Annie into the house. Seeing Sandy sitting there, she leaned down to pet the dog’s golden head and exclaimed, “Oh my! Aren’t you lovely?!” Sandy stayed sitting as she had been ordered, but her tail beat rapidly on the floor, ecstatic to have an admirer.

So much for dogs being excellent judges of character, Annie thought wryly. She wasn’t sure what to do now that Nicole was inside her home. Should she try to throw her out? She knew from what Bobby had told her about Nicole’s victims that becoming physical with her would be a mistake. Should she run out of the house and call for help? As disconcerting as it was to be in Nicole’s presence, she just didn’t feel as though she was in danger. Although, she thought, I wonder how many of her victims felt they were in danger….before it was too late.

She opted to leave the front door open and moved into the living room, making sure Nicole wasn’t between her and the door. Sandy was watching her with pitiful eyes, tail wagging, and faint whimpers coming from her as she begged to move. Annie took pity on her and gave the command to “Release”. Sandy immediately followed Nicole as she moved around the living room, looking at the décor, the knickknacks, the pictures. Traitor, Annie wanted to tell the dog.

“Your children are beautiful, you know,” Nicole said as she picked up a picture of the three children. “Andrew and Phillip look like carbon copies of their father, don’t they? I believe they have a birthday coming up in a few days.” Her voice was soft and thoughtful as she traced a finger over the images of the twins. Annie resisted a strong urge to rip the picture from her hands. “And Ally…well, she looks just like you. She’s twelve now, right?” Nicole looked up and smiled at the expression on Annie’s face. “Birth certificates are public information, you know. Don’t look so frightened, Annie. I don’t wish any harm to your children. In fact, under other circumstances, I would suggest getting your daughter and my stepdaughter together. They are close in age and I think they would get along famously.” Annie didn’t answer and Nicole sighed. “But, of course, these aren’t other circumstances, are they? I assume Bobby told you about my fiancé and my stepdaughter…hasn’t he?”

The stepdaughter he thinks you are planning to murder? Annie didn’t say the words; she just nodded silently.

“Ah…I see Bobby has told you his ridiculous theory about my plot to murder my family. He’s wrong, Annie. Nothing could be further from the truth.”

Annie frowned slightly as the teasing, superior attitude that Nicole always had towards her in these encounters seemed to fade away. For a moment Annie found herself almost believing her…wanting to believe her. She finally found her voice and asked, “What do you want, Nicole?”

Nicole shrugged, then waved her hand. “I wanted to see what Detective Robert Goren comes home to every night…besides the devoted little woman, that is. He has a lovely life here, doesn’t he? A wife who adores him, three beautiful children, a nice home with a nice mortgage, two cars, even the faithful dog.” Nicole sat down on the couch and patted Sandy’s head. “It’s not exactly the sort of home that he grew up in, now is it?”

“No, it isn’t.” Annie sat down, perching on the edge of the chair, afraid to sit back and relax as Nicole seemed to be doing.

“But he overcame his childhood to create a new life for himself, didn’t he?”

“I don’t know that he ‘created a new life’. His family is still a part of who he is,” Annie said thoughtfully. “He didn’t…eliminate the life he had. He just chose a different way to live.”

“Ahhh…..and do you think that if you only keep the house clean enough, and the children obedient enough, and your sex life interesting enough…that you can keep him from repeating the patterns he learned from his father?”

“I try to make my husband happy because I love him. He isn’t his father and he isn’t repeating any patterns.”

“And it doesn’t bother you that once again he is obsessed with destroying yet another relationship for me? Surely you can see it. My ex-husband, Ella, and now Evan and Gwen.” She leaned forward earnestly. “Face it, Annie, your husband just cannot bear to see me happy in a relationship with someone else. He will do anything to make sure no one else can have me.” She smiled. “That seems like strange behavior for a happy family man, don’t you think?”

“It’s not so strange for a cop to try to prevent you from victimizing any more of your…..true loves.”

Nicole looked at her contemplatively. Annie waited for the next insinuation, the next attack…but Nicole abruptly changed the subject.

“You know, this life you and Bobby have built here…this domesticity…it’s the kind of life I am trying to build for myself…and my new family.”

“Really,” Annie said skeptically.

“So you don’t believe me any more than Bobby does. It seems to me that when I read about that terrible attack that happened to you a few years ago, it said that you were working in the soup kitchen of your church at the time.”

“Yes….” Annie said, not wanting to discuss that day with this woman.

“You go to church…believe in the Bible.”

“Yes.” She was curious where Nicole was going with this.

“You believe in redemption and changed lives and all that rubbish, yes?”

“Yes.”

“But your husband doesn’t. Does his cynicism bother you?”

Annie found herself smiling. “Not at all, because he isn’t cynical. Bobby may have a different view of God than I do, but he does believe in redemption and changed lives.” She held Nicole’s gaze. “I think what he has trouble believing is the sincerity of…some….people claiming to want to change.”

“And you don’t doubt anyone’s sincerity?”

“Sure I do. But I realize that only God can know a person’s heart, and it’s not for me to judge. The only thing we humans can judge is the…outward expression of a changed life.”

Annie was not prepared for the turn the conversation had taken. It was bizarre to be sitting in her comfortable living room, discussing spirituality with a serial killer. Annie tried to read the expression on Nicole’s face as they stared at one another, but she couldn’t.

“You believe that your god can redeem anyone?”

“Yes.”

“Even a murderer?”

“Even a murderer.”

“And just like that, all his or her sins are forgiven and forgotten.”

“By God, yes.”

“By God….but not by people?”

“Not always…being forgiven by God doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences for our actions here and now.”

“Ahhh….” Nicole smiled triumphantly. “There it is…the loophole you religious fanatics use to explain why your god is actually powerless to change anything.”

Annie leaned back in the chair and smiled at her. She folded her arms and said, “He’s not powerless, Nicole. But we can’t always understand His ways. He doesn’t always choose to change our circumstances, but He will always change us…if we truly want to change, which will change how we react to our circumstances. And that makes all the difference.”

Nicole chuckled. “Now what, Sister Annie? Are you going to lead me in the ‘sinner’s prayer’ so you can save my soul?”

“If you want…yes.”

“And I’ll join your church, we’ll become best friends, and work side by side serving the poor?”

“Maybe not serving the poor…but I’m sure there will be a good prison ministry you can get involved in.”

Now Nicole laughed outright. “Oh Annie, you are too amusing! Well,” she said, standing up, “this has been fun, but I should be going now. I’m sure you will need to pick your children up from school soon.” She looked at Annie, her face serious for a moment. “And I need to pick up my daughter, as well.”

Annie stood and followed her to the door, where Nicole paused and turned back to face her.

“Good bye Annie.”

“Good bye Nicole.”

******************************************************************


“She was here?!” Bobby looked at her with disbelief. “Nicole was in our house?”

“In our house, in our living room, petting our dog, and looking at pictures of our children.”

Annie had waited until the children were in bed to tell him about Nicole’s visit, knowing that Bobby was going to be upset. She had judged his reaction correctly.

“And you’re telling me this now? You should have called me immediately.” He paced around the kitchen, touching the items on the counters, rearranging the canisters, coffee maker, blender, then moving them back in place.

“And what would you have done,” Annie asked softly.

“Contact Carver to have her bail revoked. She threatened a police officer’s wife! I’m going to call him first thing in the morning.” He brushed his hand over the back of his neck. “Why would you let her in?”

“Let her?! How was I supposed to keep her out? Tackle her?”

“You should have called 911.”

Annie sighed. “Bobby….”

“You and I are going first thing in the morning to buy a gun for you.”

“A gun?!” She was confused by the sudden shift in the conversation. “What are you talking about?”

“A gun…something smaller than mine, easier for you to handle….something you can carry in your purse. I’ll get the paperwork expedited for a permit to carry a concealed weapon.” Annie stared at him with her mouth open. “It won’t be hard. You’re a cop’s wife; you’ve been threatened by a suspect.”

“Bobby…I am not going to carry a gun!”

“Yes you are,” he told her firmly, raising his voice.

She folded her arms and glared back at him. “No I am not,” she said, with equal volume.

“This isn’t up for discussion, Annie.”

“You’re right, it isn’t up for discussion. You know better than anyone how hard it is for me just to handle your gun once a month. I’m not going to have one in my purse, where the kids might find it…or one of Janey and Rob’s kids. It’s too dangerous.”

“It’s too dangerous for you to have no way to protect yourself,” he shouted. “And no way to protect the kids. Have you thought about that? What if the kids are home the next time she shows up? Are you telling me that you wouldn’t shoot her to protect the kids?”

“I’m not going to debate hypothetical situations with you,” she yelled back. “The truth is that a gun in my purse or in my hands is more of a danger to me…and to the kids…than it is to Nicole Wallace. I am telling you that I will not carry a gun!”

“Other cops’ wives do this all the time!”

“Other cops’ wives do…..but you aren’t married to any of them! You’re married to me and you knew before you married me how I felt about guns.”

“And you knew that I was in the Army! You knew I planned to go into law enforcement. You knew my life would involve guns.”

“I knew your work would involve guns! But I am your life; the kids are your life. And guns have no place in this part of your life!”

“You don’t get it, Annie! My work, my family….it’s all interconnected. That should be very clear to you since a murderer dropped by our home today! I have to keep my family safe!”

“Not by sticking a gun in my hand! What’s next? The kids? You can’t be with them every minute. I can’t be with them every minute. Are we going to arm them when we send them off to school in the mornings?”

“Alright,” he said angrily. “Alright! Then you and the kids are going to Connecticut first thing in the morning.”

She took a deep breath and tried to lower her voice. “No we aren’t.”

“Damn it, Annie!”

“I’m not running anymore. Nicole already knows where we go. If she really wants to hurt me or the kids, going to Grandpa’s isn’t going to stop her.”

“Then what do you suggest we do?” His voice was still loud, still laced with frustration and anger.

“Trust God,” she said simply.

Bobby swore, then said contemptuously, “That’s your solution? Pray for protection? Ask God to surround you with angels? I have news for you, Annie…..people are murdered every day, whether they are Christians or not. Your faith doesn’t give you some invisible force field.”

She didn’t answer and they stood facing each other in silence for several long moments. Bobby dropped into one of the chairs, suddenly feeling exhausted. He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands.

“I don’t know what to do,” he said wearily.

Annie moved to stand behind him, leaned down and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her cheek against his. For several minutes they didn’t move, didn’t speak. Finally he took hold of her arm and pulled her around to straddle his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face against her. Annie put her arms around his shoulders and laid her cheek against his dark curls.

“I don’t know what to do,” he whispered again.

She kissed the top of his head and said softly, “If you want to keep your family safe, I have a suggestion.”

He raised his head and looked at her. “What’s that?”

“Put Nicole Wallace in jail,” she said with a smile.

“Now why didn’t I think of that?” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers for a moment. Raising his head to look at her again he said, “I thought you believed in the whole ‘wives submit to your husbands’ thing.”

“I do.” She grinned at him. “But I get a special dispensation when my husband is being unreasonable.”

He laughed softly. “So anytime I disagree with you, I’m being unreasonable…and you don’t have to submit?”

She giggled. “Something like that.”

Holding his face between her hands she softly kissed his lips, his nose, his cheeks, his eyes, then back to his mouth. She parted his lips with her tongue and explored his mouth. He sighed as the kiss ended.

“OK, so what did Nicole want?”

“Oh, you know…the usual.” Imitating Nicole’s accent, she said, “Don’t bother hiding from me because I know how to find you and your children. Bobby is a product of his childhood and will leave you just as his father left his mother. He is secretly in love with me and wants to destroy anyone that I fall in love with in order to have me all to himself. You aren’t woman enough to keep him away from me.”

“Is that all?” Bobby smiled and kissed her.

“Actually….no, it isn’t.” He looked at her curiously. “She talked about this perfect family life you have and how she just wants to be left alone so she can have the same thing. And….”

“And,” he prompted.

“And….she asked what I believe about God and redemption and whether it’s possible for people to really change. It was very…..surreal.”

“I bet. So what did you tell her?”

“I told her that I believe God can change anyone….if they truly want to be changed. I sort of lost her when I said that even when God forgives, we still have to face consequences for our actions.”

Bobby gave a snort of derision. “Yeah, Nicole isn’t really the ‘I did the crime, I’ll do the time’ kind of girl.” He looked at Annie closely. “You know she was just toying with you, right? Playing some kind of mind game with you.”

“Yes, I know,” she said thoughtfully.

“But?”

“But….well, I think there was a part of her…a small part, maybe….that was….sincerely looking for answers.” She looked at him tentatively, waiting for his reaction.

“You think she wants to change? That she has changed?”

“I don’t know,” Annie said with a shrug. “I don’t know what’s in her heart. But she asked me what I believe and I told her.”

“Were you trying to convert her,” he asked with a smile.

“Well, sure I was….that’s what we crazy religious fanatics do, you know.”

“I suppose you’re going to tell me that you and Nicole Wallace held hands and sang ‘Kumbaya’.”

Annie laughed. “Yes we did. But she sang off key.”

He hugged her to him as they laughed together. He kissed her; a long, deep kiss that left her breathless.

“Let’s go to bed, Babe,” she whispered.

Bobby kept his arm around her as they moved through the kitchen and the living room, turning off lights, checking the locks. They left Sandy curled up in her bed in the kitchen and headed up the stairs….only to find all three children sitting at the top of the stairs.

“You were yelling,” Ally said accusingly.

“Did we wake you,” Annie asked.

Phillip nodded his head, while Ally answered. “Yes….because you were yelling. Again.”

“We’re sorry, kids,” Bobby told them. “Mom and I were arguing….but it’s over. We made up.”

Andrew said hesitantly, “You guys argue a lot.”

Annie moved to the top of the stairs as Phillip and Andrew stood up. She put an arm around each of them. “Yeah, sometimes we argue a lot. People do that. But then,” she said with a smile, “Daddy realizes he is wrong and it’s all over.” The boys both laughed, but Ally turned to glare up at her.

“It’s not funny,” she shouted and burst into tears.

Bobby dropped down to sit next to Ally and pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his chest as she sobbed. Annie kissed the boys on their foreheads and sent them back to bed. She sat down next to Bobby, squeezing herself between him and the wall. Ally cried and Bobby just rocked her until the tears slowed and she took a couple of deep, hiccupping breaths. Finally she was quiet in his arms, cheek against his chest.

“Hey,” he said, “better now?” She nodded her head, eyes still closed. “You know your Mom and I love you, right?” She nodded again. “And you know that I love your Mom and she loves me, right?” Ally silently shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I’m telling you that we do love each other very much. You fight with your brothers sometimes, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love them or that they aren’t your brothers, right?” Another nod. “It’s the same for Mom and me. Sometimes we fight, sometimes we yell. But we love each other and we are still a family. Understand?’” Another nod and another hiccup as she took a breath. “OK, then, you should get to bed.”

Ally sat up and started to move off her father’s lap, when he pulled her against him and hugged her tightly. “Night Sweetheart,” he said, kissing her forehead.

“Night Daddy,” she said in a tremulous voice. She leaned over to hug Annie and said, “Night Mom.”

“Good night Sweetie.” Annie kissed her cheek and watched as she stood, stepped between her parents and walked to her bedroom. Bobby reached his arm around her and pulled her against him. She laid her head on his shoulder and they sat for a long time, listening to their children settling down, the whispers of the boys faded and then the house was silent. Standing up, Bobby took her hand and pulled her up.

In their bedroom, Bobby locked the door and moved to sit on the side of the bed, watching Annie as she changed into pajamas and got ready for bed. He was still sitting in the same spot when she came out of the bedroom.

“Ally has been awfully moody lately. And she hasn’t played in that playhouse for years, but suddenly she’s in there with her books every day and won’t let the boys in; she doesn’t even want me in there, says she wants to be alone. What do you think is going on with her?”

Annie smiled as she looked at her husband, surprised that he hadn’t guessed….being the student of human behavior that he was.

“Well,” she said slowly, “I think its hormones.”

Bobby looked up at her. “Hormones?”

“Um……..yeah…you know, puberty.”

“Pub….you mean…has she started menstruating?” Annie tried not to laugh at the incredulous look on his face.

“Not yet. But judging from her mood swings, I would say it’s going to be soon.”

“But….she’s only…she’s just a little girl!”

Annie knelt on the floor in front of him and took his big hands in hers. “She’s twelve…the same age I was when I started.”

“But…I’m not ready!”

Now Annie couldn’t contain her laughter. “Well, my love, from what I remember of the human reproduction classes I took in school, I don’t think that the father’s readiness or unreadiness plays any part in the process.”

He smiled at her and cupped her cheek with his hand. “I guess if Nature waited for fathers to be ready, girls would never enter puberty.”

“No doubt,” Annie said, laughing harder.

“Hey, how does laughing at your husband fit into this whole ‘submit to your husband’ thing?”

Annie laughed even harder. “Oh, I’m allowed to laugh when my husband is being silly!”

“Uh huh! So, you don’t have to submit when I’m being unreasonable or when I’m being silly. There sure seem to be a lot of loopholes there.” He grinned down at her.

Her eyes widened with feigned innocence and she shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I don’t make the rules. I just interpret them.”

She squealed with laughter when he suddenly caught her around the waist, lifted her onto the bed, and rolled over on top of her.

“Alright. Now, Wife….it’s time to submit to your husband.”


******************************************************************


Bobby kissed her, pinning her legs under his as he slipped his left hand under her shirt. She gasped against his mouth when he curled his hand around her breast and slid his thumb across her nipple. She wriggled beneath him as he continued playing with her breast, her fingers digging into his back through his shirt. His mouth held hers captive and she moaned softly. He pushed his left knee between her legs and she thrust against him. He withdrew his hand from under her shirt and she groaned softly in disappointment. Bobby raised himself above her and straddled her hips as he pulled her shirt up over her head and off. He caught her wrists in one hand while they were still above her head and reached over to the night stand for his hand cuffs. He grinned at her as he expertly slipped one cuff around her wrist, threaded the other one through the headboard and clicked it around her other wrist.

“Just making sure there aren’t any more ‘loopholes’ to this whole submissive thing,” he said softly and leaned down to kiss her, his hands on the bed on either side of her head. He kept from touching her naked upper body as he continued to kiss her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, drawing her tongue into his. She arched, trying to find contact for her suddenly sensitive skin. He chuckled against her mouth as he denied her that contact.

“Please, Bobby,” she whispered.

He captured her face between his hands and held her still as he trailed kisses over her face. He gently tugged her earlobe between his teeth and whispered, “Please what?”

“Please…..” She tried to arch against him, tried to wiggle her legs apart. But they were held tightly together by his muscular thighs. “Please…touch me….” Her breathing became ragged as he kissed her throat, stopping at the sensitive hollow. She tried to arch again, whimpering as his mouth continued downward, his stubble scraping against her skin. “Yes! There,” her voice was still a whisper as he began to nibble at her breast, slowly, achingly, his teeth coming closer and closer to the throbbing nipple. “Oh!” she breathed as his lips finally closed around it. His teeth nipped, and he sucked, gently at first, becoming increasingly rough. She arched against him, her head pushing back against the bed, eyes closed.

He smiled against her, feeling her gasp as she tried to keep from crying out. A screamer by nature, in the early years of their marriage she had not cared about neighbors or anyone else hearing her, but gave herself over completely to her passion. As the children came along, and grew older, she had learned to contain her cries and her screams….unless the children were not in the house. He knew this was torture for her as she fought her desire to scream.

He released her nipple and moved to the other breast, holding the nipple with his teeth as he rubbed his tongue roughly across it. His hands roamed across her bare upper body, probing, tickling, squeezing lightly in places, harder in others. She was still wiggling her hips and her legs, trying to free them from the vise grip of his legs.

“Please, oh please, Bobby,” she whispered desperately. He let go of her and rose up to sit back on his haunches, looking at her. Her face and her breasts were flushed, both from arousal and from his kisses and his stubble. She was panting and looking up at him, her blue eyes dark with desire. He loosened his grip on her thighs as he scooted back slightly. Grasping the waistband of her pajama bottoms and her underwear, he slowly dragged them down and off, finally releasing her legs. She spread her legs apart as he leaned down and resumed his attention to her breasts, kissing, sucking, nipping, dragging his stubble across them.

She kept her voice low as she pleaded with him, arching into his mouth, thrusting her hips up toward him. But she suddenly became still as his mouth moved lower, trailing across her stomach, his tongue leaving a wet trail in between the gentle bites. He moved lower, nibbling at the curve of her waist to her hip, across her belly to her other hip, then lower still.

He stopped and stood up beside the bed, smiled down at her as she captured the moan of disappointment that wanted to break from her. Her breasts rose and fell quickly as she tried to catch her breath, her eyes were very dark now as she watched him. He slowly….oh so slowly….began unbuttoning his shirt as she stared up at him. When it was open, he shrugged and it fell off and onto the floor. His fingers opened his belt, the button of his jeans, slowly slipped the zipper down. She moaned softly and wiggled her hips against the bed as he lowered his jeans and underwear, stepped out of them. He moved back to the bed and again knelt between her legs, but didn’t move immediately to enter her. He fondled himself as he knelt there and watched her jaw go slack and her breath catch.

He lowered himself to lay along the length of her, still not entering her. His hands held her head still as he lowered his mouth to hers for a long, aching kiss. Raising his head just a whisper away from hers he asked her, “What do you want, Annie?”

“You,” she breathed.

She gasped as he slid into her. She wiggled her hips so that he slid deeper; she arched against him and moaned softly. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he began to move, slowly at first as she adjusted to him, and she began to move with him.

He kissed her throat and felt her tremble. With the experience of almost fourteen years of making love to her, pleasing her, he knew exactly how to move and soon she was almost there, almost…her mouth opened with a loud gasp and he covered her mouth with his, muffling her cry as the orgasm began and moved in waves across her body and then began again. He released her mouth and buried his face against her, her spasms pushing him over the edge until he cried out softly and hoarsely against her skin.

He collapsed against her and they lay, wet with perspiration, panting, hearts racing….now slowing. His face was against her throat, her cheek against his forehead. He felt the spasms spread through her again. He chuckled softly against Annie’s throat. He felt her smile against his forehead and softly kiss him. She took a deep breath as her heart rate and breathing slowed. Bobby raised himself on his elbow and reached to the night stand for the key to the hand cuffs. He released her and she moaned softly as she moved her arms. Then she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.

They lay for a long time, recovering. Finally he raised his head so that he could look at her. “Now that’s what I call a submissive wife,” he said softly.

She laughed and pulled him down for a kiss.


End Chapter 2

Looks like I'm the first one here. ::throws down very large supply of very large floor pillows, covering every available inch of floor with fluffy, pillowy, softness:: There, that ought to cushion the blow!

Great chapter. Every bit of it!

I think I'll just hang out here and enjoy the ::thudding::! ::Sinks onto sofa, settles in, pulls out laptop and works on story....::

Thanks Cousin! I could have used those pillows while I was writing that scene. Actually, I could have used them while it was still in my head! Bobby inspires some very naughty ideas.

The scene on the stairs wasn't planned, it just sort of happened while I was writing and I suddenly realized how old Ally is in this story.

::flops down on sofa next to FM and pulls out computer:: I wonder what Mike and Sarah are up to.....

::peeks over ciaddict's shoulder:: ::thud:: Oh, Mikey!

This chapter picks up at the tail end of “Grow”. I know…this is three chapters all centered on one episode, but this is the last one. I promise, we will be moving on soon.

Thank you to my beta, Spook.

Annie watched Bobby herding a group of six boys as they looked for clues to a treasure. Their next door neighbor, Rob, was overseeing another group of six. It was the twins’ ninth birthday party and each had been allowed to invite five friends. They each led their team in a race for clues to find a “buried treasure”. The gate in the fence between Bobby and Annie’s backyard and Rob and Janey’s backyard was open so that the boys had a large area in which to search. The clues were pictures of items in the yards that Annie had printed out and cut into puzzle pieces. As they found the clues and put the puzzle together, it led to the next clue. The “treasure chest” that they were searching for had prizes inside for each boy on the team. However, while they all thought they were racing to find the same treasure, the truth was that they were looking for separate treasures, one for each team. Annie hated the thought of someone losing and had modified the game so that everyone at the party would be a winner.

Annie, Janey, and Alex were getting the cake and ice cream ready while the “treasure hunt” went on. Ally was spending the day with a friend, saying disdainfully that she didn’t want to spend the day with a bunch of little boys. Annie glanced again at Bobby. He was covering his anxiety well, for the sake of the children. But she could see the worry etched on his face. Nicole Wallace, after framing her fiancé for the murder of his brother, had taken his daughter and disappeared. It had been two days and there were no leads as to their whereabouts. Most of that information had come to her from Alex because Bobby wasn’t saying very much.

The afternoon was a whirl of twelve energetic boys, presents, cake and ice cream, and noise. Once the party ended and the guests left, Bobby took Phillip and Andrew to the park to try out their brand new bikes. Janey, Alex, and Annie stayed behind to clean up the two yards. Dinner was a frenetic affair with no one eating very much. Phillip and Andrew, still excited from the party and the sugar, chattered nonstop, which annoyed their older sister immensely. It seemed to Annie that bedtimes would never come, but finally the boys were in bed, although they would not be asleep for some time. Ally was in bed, also still awake, reading. The kitchen was clean and the house, at last, was quiet.

She found Bobby in his office, sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. She quietly walked over and leaned down to kiss the back of his neck. He leaned back in his chair and pulled her onto his lap. He held her tightly, his face against her neck. Annie ran her fingers through his hair, noticing flecks of gray. When did that happen, she wondered.

“Babe,” she said softly. “I hate to see you beating yourself up over this.”

“I’m the one who should be beat up over it,” he murmured against her neck. Raising his head to look at her, he continued, “I should have known that she would do this. I should have sent uniforms to pick Gwen up as soon as I left Nicole in that library. I knew how desperate she was to keep Gwen and I should have protected that girl. But I didn’t; and now she’s in hiding….with a serial killer.”

Annie sighed and traced her fingers over his face. “You’ll find her. And in the meantime, Nicole seems to truly care about the girl…..”

He pushed her hand away. “She cared about her daughter, too…but that didn’t stop her from killing her.”

Annie stood up and paced around his desk. “But…..Gwen is older than Nicole’s daughter was. Maybe…”

“Exactly. Her daughter was only three years old, and when she began to exhibit normal ‘Daddy worship’, Nicole saw her as a sexual rival for the affections of the little girl’s father. Gwen is entering puberty….what will Nicole do with a young woman who is becoming sexually aware….especially when Nicole finds another lover. If she thought her three year old daughter was a rival, how much more will she see a beautiful young teenager as a rival? Gwen is not safe with her….no matter how Nicole thinks she feels about her right now.”

Annie sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the desk from him. She folded her arms on the desk and propped her chin on her hands.

“She tried to save Gwen’s life, didn’t she?”

Bobby let out an exasperated breath. “You don’t get it, Annie. Nicole loves Gwen and yes, she tried to save her. But that won’t stop her from hurting Gwen herself if she begins to feel threatened by her.”

Annie sat back in her chair and looked at her husband thoughtfully. “You know, you seem to be saying that to me a lot lately.”

“Saying what?” He looked back at her questioningly.

“That I ‘don’t get it’. What is it that I don’t get, Bobby?”

“This is more complicated than good or evil.”

“And….what? I’m too simplistic to understand complicated pathology that motivates someone like Nicole Wallace?”

Bobby leaned his hands on the edge of the desk. “I didn’t say that.”

“No, you didn’t. There’s a lot that you don’t say lately. Maybe the reason there are so many things I don’t ‘get’ is because there are so many things that you won’t talk to me about.”

“And maybe I just don’t want to discuss every minute detail,” he snapped.

“Every minute detail? You won’t discuss your mother, you rarely discuss your work…the list of things you refuse to discuss is growing bigger every day!”

“You know why I won’t discuss my mother with you. And my work is….yeah…it’s complicated….and I don’t have the time or energy to explain it to you.”

The silence lengthened, feeling like a wall between them. Finally Annie said softly, “How sad for you to be saddled with such an imbecile for a wife.”

She got up and walked towards the stairs. She paused on the bottom step at his equally soft reply. “That isn’t what I meant, Annie.”

She stood for a moment with her back to him, looking down at the floor. Turning, she walked quickly back to his desk and knelt beside his chair. She grasped his hands in hers, closed her eyes, and began to pray out loud. She prayed for Gwen, for Bobby and Alex….and for Nicole.

Bobby looked down at her bowed head. Her hands in his were trembling slightly and he knew she was nervous. Except for meal time blessings and bed time prayers with the children, she rarely asked him to participate with her in prayer, knowing his ambivalence. As he listened to her soft voice he noticed that, as always, when she prayed she didn’t use special language or words. Her tone was conversational, as though she were speaking to a real person. And he knew that in her mind, she was speaking to someone very real and tangible. It was a concept difficult for him to understand.

Annie finished her prayer and started to rise, keeping her eyes down, unsure of how he would react. As she started to move away, Bobby wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. He held her tightly and she hugged him back just as tightly.

“You know,” he said huskily, “that I don’t think you are stupid….right?”

She sighed and tightened her arms around him. “I know,” she whispered.

“Annie, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Bobby pulled his head back so that he could look at her face. “Do I tell you that often enough?”

She nodded her head. “Yes.”

He kissed her, running his hand up and down her spine, which caused tingling in other parts of her body.

“Baby, let’s go to bed,” she whispered.

“I’ve got some work to do….I’ll be up later,” he told her.

“OK,” she said and kissed him again. She shifted in his lap and heard his sharp intake of breath.

“I’ll be up….soon,” he whispered and she smiled against his mouth.

“OK,” she said again, kissing his throat and moving lower, nuzzling his chest hair just above the opening of his shirt.

“I think,” he said with a gasp, “that I’m ready for bed right now.”

“Oh thank goodness!” Annie kissed him quickly on the mouth and smiled as she stood up.

Bobby watched her walk away from him, watched her French braid bounce slightly against her back as she headed up the stairs. He thought about pulling her hair free of the braid and feeling the silken strands against his fingers, his face, his chest……Chuckling, he stood and turned off the lights in his office as he followed his wife up the stairs to their bedroom.


******************************************************************


“So what is she like,” Sarah asked eagerly.

She was working the evening shift at the library and Mike had come by after he left work to tell her that he finally had a new partner.

“Barek? Seems OK. We didn’t really have time to talk much; Deakins had her filling out paperwork…all that stuff that comes with a transfer. Although, she’s worked there before, temporarily. But tomorrow we are officially partners. And the first case that comes along is ours.”

He grinned and leaned across the counter to kiss her.

“She’s worked in Major Case before?”

“Yeah…last year when Goren screwed up his knee and was out for a while, she partnered with Eames.”

“Did Alex say anything about how she is to work with,” Sarah asked.

“Alex? How do you know Eames’ name?”

Mike’s smile stayed in place even as he frowned in curiosity. Sarah froze for a brief moment.

“Um…well…I guess you told me,” she stammered.

“I did? Huh, I guess I’m gabbing like a little old lady since I don’t have any cases of my own to talk about. And in answer to your question, all Eames said was that Barek is a good cop, good investigator.”

Sarah blushed with shame over her lie. This couldn’t go on; she hated lying more than just about anything. She would have to tell Mike and Uncle Jimmy the truth soon. Soon, she thought, but not today. Today she wanted to let Mike enjoy the excitement of knowing he had a partner and would soon have a case.

“Speaking of other people’s cases,” she said, trying to shake off her guilt, “what about that little girl?”

“Yeah, they found her.”

“They did?! Oh, that’s wonderful!”

“Seems Wallace took her to Arizona and dropped her off at her aunt’s house. Not what you would expect from a serial killer. But who knows what goes on in anyone’s head.” He smiled and added, “Well, maybe Goren knows, but the rest of us schmucks just have to guess.”

Sarah laughed with him, wishing she could tell him that she knew Robert Goren and his prodigious store of knowledge.

“The detectives must be so relieved,” she said instead.

“Yeah, they are. Goren’s been pretty angry at himself since the girl went missing. I heard that Wallace went to his house and had a little talk with his wife a few days before she disappeared.”

“She went to their house?! A……his wife must have been terrified! I can’t imagine what I would do if I were confronted by a murderer!”

“I’m sure it was scary. But,” he shrugged, “she’s OK. Goren and Eames haven’t said much about it, but the scuttlebutt on Goren around the squad is that it’s not the first time Wallace has contacted his wife. I guess it’s a game she plays with him.”

Sarah shivered slightly. “That’s scary. His wife must be a black-belt in self-defense or something.”

Mike chuckled. “Well, I don’t know about that. But I met her once; I had dinner at their house after that thing at the prison. She’s a nice lady. Good cook, too.”

He grinned at her and she laughed nervously. This conversation was getting more uncomfortable by the minute. It was one thing to simply withhold information, but now she was being deliberately untruthful and she hated it. She folded her arms on the counter and leaned towards him.

“So….tomorrow, you will get a case?”

“Well, there’s no guarantee when a case will come in. But in a city like New York, I doubt that it will take very long before we catch one.”

“How are you getting along with your captain?”

Mike sobered. “He’s a good guy, you know? I mean, I’ve been frustrated about not having a partner, not having any cases to work. But, Deakins…he really took a chance on me and I’m never gonna forget that. I just want to make sure he never regrets doing whatever it was he did to get me transferred.”

She smiled at him, looked quickly around to see if there were any people nearby, and leaned across the counter to kiss him.

“He’s not going to regret it. Transferring Mike Logan to the Major Case Squad is one of the best decisions he’s ever going to make.”

Mike held her face between his hands and kissed her deeply and passionately, not caring if any library patrons saw them.

“Can I pick you up when you close,” he asked in a whisper. “Go for a late dinner?”

She sighed regretfully. “No, I need to pick up Jia Li and get her home and into bed. Besides,” she said, “you should go home and get some rest. The ‘scuttlebutt’ I hear is you’re catching a big case tomorrow.”

He smiled at her and kissed her again before leaving her behind her counter, watching him walk away.


******************************************************************


“Daddy! Ally won’t let us in the playhouse!”

Bobby sighed at the latest complaint…this time from Andrew. Ally had been arguing with them all day. Annie was at work and he had intended to take the children to Carmel Ridge. But Ally had woken up complaining about a stomach ache and so he had called his mother to tell her that they wouldn’t be coming today after all. Ally had lain in bed most of the morning, grumbling about noise every time the boys had gone upstairs. She had finally gotten dressed and came downstairs, only to disappear into the playhouse with a book. The complaints had gotten louder when Phillip and Andrew went outside to play with Sandy, which seemed to goad them to try to annoy her. Now they wanted to use the playhouse and Ally was refusing to let them in. He and Annie tried to let the kids work things out on their own as much as possible, but this seemed to be escalating and he decided he better intervene. He headed outside, just in time to hear Ally screaming louder than he would have thought possible.

“You are mean, despicable boys and I HATE YOU!”

“Ally!” Bobby roared.

Three faces turned to look at him. Ally’s face was red and splotchy from crying. Phillip and Andrew’s faces were incredulous. He decided her transgression was the one that needed to be addressed first as he stood towering over his children.

“Ally,” he said, keeping his voice stern but controlled. “I know that you don’t feel good, but you still have to follow rules. And one of those rules is that we do not say ‘hate’ in this house. No matter how angry you may be with your brothers, you do not say something hurtful like that. Understood?”

She looked up at him angrily, obviously trying to control herself. He thought for a moment she was going to tell him that she hated him too. But suddenly her blue eyes filled with tears and her face crumpled as she burst into tears. She ran past him into the house, crying loudly. He watched her go, unable to believe this was the same sweet little girl who not very long ago would climb into his lap and ask for a story. How could she change so drastically, he wondered? It was almost as though she were……The realization hit him like a punch in the stomach. Of course. He and Annie had just talked about this.

“What’s wrong with Ally?” Phillip’s voice brought his attention back to his sons.

“She doesn’t feel good,” he said, turning back to the twins. “I’m going to talk to her about the way she is acting. But you two,” he frowned down at them, “need to stop teasing her and trying to make her mad. You were both perfectly happy to play on the computer until she came out here to read, and then suddenly you just had to come out here and play.”

The boys looked down at the ground sheepishly. Neither of them answered.

“I’m going to talk to Ally now, and I want you two to stay out here. You wanted that playhouse and now you have it, so go play.”

“OK, Daddy,” they both told him.

He went upstairs, where he heard sobbing coming from behind the bathroom door. He sighed again and stood for a moment, leaning his hand against the wall and looking down at the floor. He wished Annie were home; maybe he should call her. This was not his area of expertise.

“Ally,” he said finally. “Are you OK?”

“Go away! I want my mom!” The crying got louder.

“Listen Sweetheart….I don’t think Mom can leave work right now. But if you want to, we can call her. And…I….I know what is going on. I…uh…I know I’m not a girl…..and maybe I….don’t understand…..but I’m going to sit on the stairs….and….if you….I’ll be here when you want to talk.”

She didn’t answer and after a moment, he turned and went to sit on the top step of the stairs. The crying continued for a while, then became softer, and at last it faded away. It was another ten minutes before the bathroom door opened slowly. Ally stood leaning against the door frame for a moment, looking down at the ground, stealing an occasional glimpse at her father. He resisted the urge to get up and go to her, or to talk. He sat silently and waited. Ally walked over and sat down next to him. They didn’t speak for several minutes, just sat together.

He looked at her surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye and took in her appearance. He was surprised at the physical changes in her that seemed to have happened overnight. She had always looked so much like her mother; the same long blond hair, the same blue eyes, the same shape to her nose. But she seemed to have gotten her height and build from her father. Annie wasn’t fat by any means and she walked and worked out, but her body was all soft curves, especially since giving birth to three children. He realized that Ally was losing the stocky chubbiness of childhood and beginning to reveal the body of the tall, lean young woman she would become. She would be taller than her mother’s five feet and five inches….at least by two or three inches, he guessed. He wondered when this metamorphosis had taken place and why he hadn’t seen it. He turned to look at her fully at the sound of her sniffling.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” she said tremulously.

Bobby put his arm around her and she leaned into him, crying softly. “I know you are, honey,” he said softly.

She cried for a few minutes, but not as violently as she had earlier.

“Do I have to apologize to the boys?”

“Yeah, but that can wait. Are you OK?” She shrugged wordlessly. “Do…do you need anything? Any….uh…I can go to the store….”

She shook her head. “No,” she sniffed. “Mom gave me a bag that had different….kinds. She said this was going to happen soon.”

Bobby smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Mom’s pretty smart, isn’t she?” Ally nodded, her face against his chest. “So….uh…how…how do you feel? Does your stomach still hurt?”

“No,” she said sitting up and wiping her wet face with her hands. Bobby reached into a pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, and handed it to her. “My stomach stopped hurting. I just feel….I don’t know….like everything is all….like everything makes me so mad.”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “I think that’s normal.”

“Well, I don’t like it!”

He refrained from smiling…with effort. “I don’t think anyone does.”

“But…it’s kind of a big deal, isn’t it?” She slanted her eyes at him shyly.

“Yeah…yeah, it’s a big deal, alright.”

“Mom was all happy when she gave me the….package. She said it’s exciting, that it means I’m growing up, that I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“Mmmm, hmmm.” He desperately wanted to tell her that she would always be his little girl, but he knew this was not the time.

“Mom said when I start we would celebrate with a grownup ‘ladies lunch’….just the two of us. I guess….I guess we can do it another day, when she isn’t working.”

“Yeah, that will be good,” he said, nodding thoughtfully, “you and Mom going out for a ladies lunch. But…since, you know, she isn’t here today….and today is the day you….well….maybe you and I could have a grownup lunch. And you and Mom can have your lunch on her day off.”

“You and me,” she asked, brightening. “You mean go out for a real lunch, like…like you and Mom do?”

“Yes, a real lunch…a date, a lunch date with your dad. Does that sound OK?”

“Yes,” she squealed, throwing her arms around his neck. So she wasn’t all grown up….not yet. The thought comforted him as he hugged her tightly. “Can we go to Sal’s,” she asked.

It made him smile that she picked his favorite restaurant. “Yes, but you need to go mend some broken fences with your brothers, first.”

“OK, Daddy.”

“While you are apologizing, I’ll find someone they can stay with while we go for our lunch. And you,” he said, smiling at her, “after you talk to the boys, you get dressed. In a nice dress, and I’ll change my clothes, too. Got it?”

“I got it!” Ally stood up and started down the steps. She turned and ran back to hug him fiercely. “Thank you, Daddy!”

Bobby heaved a deep sigh and pulled out his cell phone. He called Janey and asked if the boys could stay with them while he took Ally to lunch. Then he called Annie at the hospital and told her what had happened.

“Oh, I wanted to be there when she started,” Annie said with disappointment. “That explains her tummy ache this morning. Well,” she said with a sigh, “it sounds like you handled it perfectly. She will enjoy a grownup lunch date. How are you, Daddy?”

He chuckled as he got up and walked downstairs and headed for the backyard. “I’m wondering what happened to that tiny baby who used to sleep on my chest.”

She laughed with him. “I know! Next thing we know, she’ll be in high school….and then college!”

“Uh…..no,” he said with finality. “I’ve decided this growing up thing isn’t working for me.”

“Poor Baby,” Annie teased. “Can I talk to her?”

“Yeah,” he said as he walked into the backyard. Ally was hugging the twins, who were looking at her as though she were an alien from another planet. “Mom wants to talk to you, Sweetheart.”

Ally grabbed the phone and ran inside the house, saying, “Mommy! I started!”

Bobby and the twins stood looking towards the house for a moment after she was gone. “Girls are weird,” Andrew said.

Bobby laughed and tousled his hair, moving to sit down on a bench. Phillip and Andrew sat on either side of him.

“Girls aren’t weird, Buddy,” he said with a chuckle. “They can be difficult to figure out sometimes. But it’s worth all the effort to try to understand them, because without girls this world would be really, really boring.” Both boys looked at him skeptically. “Just be nice to your sister, OK?” They nodded their heads. “Listen, I’m going to take her to lunch and you guys are going to stay with Aunt Janey and Uncle Rob. Next weekend, we’ll have a ‘guys day’….just the three of us. OK?”

“OK, Daddy!”

“Why don’t you take Sandy with you and run next door.”

He watched Phillip and Andrew go through the gate to Janey and Rob’s yard with the dog barking happily at them, then got up and went upstairs to change into a suit and tie. He met Ally coming out of her bedroom; she was wearing one of her prettiest dresses.

At the restaurant, Bobby held Ally’s chair and she blushed with pleasure. Lunch was a success. Bobby smiled at the adult, self-assured manner with which Ally ordered her meal. They chatted, Ally eagerly sharing all the gossip about her friends. He was disconcerted that boys were a source of many of her stories; who was cute, who liked whom…..another change he wasn’t prepared for, he realized. But prepared or not, he was pleased that she was so open and comfortable talking to him; he hoped that would continue as she became a teenager. Bobby watched her expression, the stormy emotions from earlier forgotten. Leaving the restaurant and walking back to the Mustang, Ally turned suddenly and wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing tightly.

“Thank you, Daddy. This was the best day of my whole life!”

He smiled and hugged her back, kissing the top of her head. “You’re welcome, honey. It has been a pretty great day.”

After she got into the car and Bobby closed the door, he leaned his hands on top of the car for a moment and thought back to what he told Phillip and Andrew earlier. It was true; without girls, the world would be a very boring place indeed.


End Chapter 3

I didn't mention this in any of my other comments, but it hit me the other day as I was thinking back over the story, that I really like how you used the episode "Grow" to showcase the kids growing up and Bobby growing older. We have the boys turning 9, Annie discovering grey hairs on Bobby's head, and Ally starting her period -- all 'growing' instances. Nice job! Did you plan it that way or did it just work out like that. Very effective!

Really enjoyed this chapter: Bobby being the one home on a day off when Ally 'started' and how wonderfully he ended up handling it (in spite of doubting himself) -- the 'real date' with Daddy was so sweet! I liked the boys' party; I, too, would probably have done the same thing as Annie -- 2 treasure chests, or else one big one with prizes for all the boys......

Very nice job.

You and Judy are making me feel guilty as I've lost interest in actually putting my thoughts and ideas down on paper lately.......I hope to get back to it soon.

Hmm....should I admit that the connection between the title "Grow" and Bobby's gray hair and Ally starting didn't even occur to me? Or should I just say...Oh, of course I planned the whole thing! The truth is that it wasn't planned and both Annie noticing his gray hair and Ally entering puberty just came to me in the moment. Nice that it all tied together....maybe my subconscious is better at organizing than my conscious!

And I hope you get back to your story soon, too. I believe you left more than a few loose ends....and you know how I love things to be tied up in a nice pretty bow!

You just love Bobby being tied up......

This chapter is Mike and Sarah-centered. It takes place during the Logan/Barek episodes Diamond Dogs and Unchained.

Thank you to Judyg for letting me bounce ideas off of her and for filling in as my beta while Spook is on vacation.

“I’m counting on it.” Deakins words replayed themselves in Mike’s head. More than the words, the tone replayed….exasperated, disappointed. Maybe regret that he had gone to the trouble to transfer Mike to Major Case?

Sarah’s fingers lightly traced a path from his stomach to his chest. They were lying in his bed, his head on her chest and her left arm around him. Jia Li was spending the weekend with her paternal grandparents and Sarah was spending the weekend with Mike. At least, he was supposed to be spending the weekend with her. But he had spent most of Saturday working on this case. This case that seemed to be going nowhere.

“So three days in and you’ve got Nancy and Sluggo here…and an ID on the weapon?” Deakins had asked him and his partner earlier that day.

“We’ll do better,” Barek told him.

“I’m counting on it,” Deakins snapped as he stalked from the room.

Three days in….well past the magic forty eight hours that were so important in gathering evidence in a murder. And now there was another murder to solve because the mystery man had struck another jewelry store. He and Barek stared at one another after Deakins left.

“We’ll get them, Mike,” she had finally said. He was gratified that although they had only been partners for a short time, she understood that this was more than his ego and desire to close a case. He didn’t want this guy to kill any more people.

He felt Sarah’s lips kiss the top of his head. He captured her wandering hand and brought the palm to his lips, feeling the hitch in her breathing. He smiled and turned over, propping himself on his elbows and looking down at her. She smiled back at him and traced her finger along his jaw.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around today,” he whispered.

“It’s OK. You’re worth waiting for.”

“I don’t know about tomorrow. There isn’t much we can do until we stake out the methadone clinic on Monday, but I’m going to go in for a few hours at least. Just to go over everything and make sure there isn’t something I’m missing.”

“But you don’t have to go anywhere right now, right?”

He chuckled and playfully bit the finger that was tracing his bottom lip. “No, I don’t have to go anywhere right now.”

He leaned down to kiss her while her hands slid along his back and pulled him closer.


******************************************************************


It was Monday afternoon when Annie looked up to see Mike Logan and a woman who was obviously another detective escorting two women into the ER. Annie took the chart and went to help settle the young woman into a bed, asking the older woman who said she was her mother to wait outside the curtain until she was finished. She got information from Mike and his partner, the young woman was not saying very much. A crack addict who had been without a fix for twelve hours, she was becoming agitated. Annie started an IV and waited for the doctor to come and examine her.

Mike introduced Annie to his partner, Carolyn Barek, and informed Barek that Annie was married to Goren.

“You worked with Bobby’s partner when he hurt his knee last year,” Annie said. “I heard good things about you and I’m glad to see you back in Major Case permanently.”

The doctor arrived and Annie assisted him with the examination while the detectives talked to her mother. He wanted to admit the young woman, Maya, to help her through the withdrawals that were going to be tormenting her soon, but she was refusing. So when he went out to speak to the detectives, Annie took the IV out and got her discharge paperwork ready. She tried to convince Maya to stay, hoping when her mother joined them that she would influence her.

“Maya,” Annie told her, “I know that withdrawal is tough. But once it’s done, you have a chance to get on with your life, free from the drugs.” Maya’s mother walked in to stand on the other side of her bed and Annie appealed to her. “Your daughter needs help to get through this. We can help her.”

The woman shook her head and Maya looked at the floor. “No, she just needs to go home. I can take care of her just fine. Isn’t that right, sweetie?”

Maya nodded wordlessly, still not looking at either woman. Annie sighed and left, passing Logan and Barek. She didn’t hear the words when they talked, but she was taken aback when she saw Maya strip off the patient gown, standing in front of Mike and everyone else in the ER in her bra and panties while she got dressed. She was just as flabbergasted that her mother didn’t seem to react to it at all. As the women walked away, Annie went over to change the sheet on the bed and put the IV pump away. But as she reached for the pump, Mike stopped her.

“We’re gonna need fingerprints off of that.”

“That girl needs help,” she told them. “I wish she would have stayed.”

“Yeah,” said Mike, “so do we. Well, thanks Annie. We’ll send a CSU tech over to get those fingerprints.”

“OK. If you see my husband, tell him I said hello. Sometimes we are like ships that pass in the night,” she said with a laugh.

Logan and Barek laughed with her. “The story of a cop’s life,” Barek told her.

Annie watched them walk away and suddenly remembered that she hadn’t asked Mike about Gina. She wondered if Carolyn Barek was married. She chuckled as she went back to work, thinking of Bobby’s comments about her attempts at matchmaking.


******************************************************************


Sarah struggled awake as Louis Armstrong sang “What a Wonderful World”. She was disoriented, but knew immediately who was calling. That song was the ringtone she had assigned to only one person.

“Mike?” Her voice was husky from sleep.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” he said.

“What time is it,” she asked sleepily.

“A little after one.”

“What’s wrong, Mike? Are you OK?” Awake now, she sat up and turned on the lamp by her bed.

“I’m OK. I…I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“What’s going on?”

He sighed deeply. “It’s just…this case, you know? Now it’s in the paper.”

“Mmm, hmmm….I saw it on the news.”

“I told Deakins that I don’t want to be an issue and he should take me off the case.”

“And what did he say?”

“Said if I become a problem for him, he’ll be the first to let me know.”

“”Well, that’s good, isn’t it? It means he trusts you, right?”

“Yeah, I guess…..But he didn’t back us up with Carver yesterday.” He paused for a moment. “We had that girl….but no positive ID to connect her with the robberies. Carver made us let her go…..and today she’s dead.”

“I’m sorry, Mike.”

“Yeah.” He was silent for a long moment. “I should go and let you get back to sleep.”

“I’m awake….I can talk for as long as you want.”

“Talking isn’t really what I want to do with you right now.”

Sarah giggled. “Well, I’ve never done it on the phone before, but I’m willing to try.”

Mike laughed, glad that he had called her. “I’m going to take you up on that sometime, Sweetheart. But not tonight. You have to work in the morning, so you should go back to sleep. And so should I. Maybe tomorrow will be the day something breaks in this case.”

“You’ll get them, Mike,” she said softly.

“Yeah…that’s what Barek says, too. Goodnight….and thanks.”

“Goodnight….and you’re welcome. I’m here anytime you need to talk.”

Sarah set her cell phone on the nightstand and turned off the light. Snuggling back down in her bed, she drifted off to sleep with the sound of Mike’s voice soothing her.


******************************************************************


Three weeks later, Mike dropped paperwork onto his desk as he dropped into his chair. The last month had been exhausting; his first two cases with the Major Case Squad had been very public and very draining.

They had finally closed the jewelry robbery/murder case. But in order to get the young man, Johnny, to implicate his mother in the crimes, Mike had talked to him about his own troubled relationship with his alcoholic mother. It wasn’t something he was comfortable doing, but his partner had pushed him into it. And it had paid off; Johnny did implicate his mother and they were both charged with the murders.

As soon as they closed that case they were immediately given another one that also turned out to be high profile. An NYPD cop’s stepson went missing and was found dead. That had led to his first encounter with Elizabeth Rodgers since coming to Major Case. He had been to the coroner’s office several times to pick up reports in his first few weeks, but had not run into the dour ME herself. As he and Barek took the elevator down, it occurred to him that the last time he had seen Rodgers was at Lennie Briscoe’s funeral.

As they walked into the room where she was getting ready to do the autopsy on the young man, she glanced up at him. Her features softened for just a moment and he thought she was going to say something sentimental. But the moment passed and her expression changed back to the same professional, emotionless one he remembered from his days at the 27th precinct.

Rodgers held out her hand and said, “Logan….congratulations on your transfer.”

“Thanks, Rodgers,” he said, shaking her hand. And then she had been all business as they discussed the victim.

The investigation had led to two detectives working for a crime family. The murder of the young man had been a tragic case of mistaken identity; the intended target was a bomb maker with the same name who had flubbed a hit on one of the crime bosses. Investigating other cops had taken a toll on Mike, who had experienced his own investigations by Internal Affairs.

Sarah had called him one night, furious over the comments made by Detective Virgini’s lawyer on the news: “Look who they’ve got investigating this; a disgraced officer, whose record of misbehavior speaks for itself.” Sarah had wanted to know if he was going to sue the lawyer for defamation. Mike had laughed at her.

“And how do you know he was talking about me? Maybe he was talking about Barek.”

She was silent for moment before asking in a small voice, “Was he? I’m so sorry, Mike! I just assumed….that was really awful of me.”

Mike laughed again, even louder. “Don’t worry, Sweetheart. Your assumption was correct; he was talking about me. And no, I’m not suing anyone. What he said was technically true…and my skin’s a lot thicker than that. But,” he added in a low voice, “it’s nice to know you’re in my corner.”

Sarah….he missed her. These two cases, one on top of the other, had been tough to break and he and Barek had put in long hours. Which meant he hadn’t been able to see very much of Sarah. But they had finally put this case to bed and as soon as he finished his paperwork, he was going to take Sarah out to dinner….if she didn’t already have plans. He picked up the phone to call her and paused as Captain Deakins stopped by his desk.

“Good work, Logan,” he said simply and moved on to his office.

Mike hid a smile as he pushed the numbers for the library and asked for Sarah. But he stopped trying to hide it when he heard her voice.

“Hey Gorgeous, how about dinner tonight?”

“Mike! I would love dinner. I’ll see if my mother can babysit. Does this mean you’re done with the case?”

“Yeah, we’re done. We nailed the cops and hopefully they will roll over on the crime boss they were working for.” He chuckled and added, “I even got a ‘good work, Logan’ from the captain. I think that’s about as high as the praise gets around here.”

Sarah’s heart warmed at the mention of her uncle. “So….you and the captain….you’re OK?”

“Yeah, we’re OK.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” She hesitated for a moment before adding, “Mike….instead of dinner out, can we order in? I want to talk to you about something, and I think privacy would be better.”

“Should I be worried,” he asked her.

“No, of course not! It’s nothing bad.” At least, she hoped it wasn’t bad. “I need to make a stop at my aunt and uncle’s after work and then I’ll come to your place…is that OK?”

“Yeah, that’s OK. We’ll order Chinese. I’ll see you tonight, Sarah.”

“See you tonight.”


******************************************************************


Sarah pulled up in front of her aunt and uncle’s home. Both cars were there. Good. Uncle Jimmy was home. Taking a deep breath, she opened her car door and climbed out. She was not looking forward to this, but the sooner she got it over with, the better. The walk up to their front door had never seemed so long. She stood at the front door for a moment before ringing the bell.

“Sarah!” Aunt Angie hugged her and pulled her into the house. “Come in, come in! Can you stay for dinner? Why didn’t you bring Jia Li?”

Sarah laughed and hugged her aunt. “No, I can’t stay for dinner and I didn’t bring Jia Li because I came straight from work. I….I need to talk to Uncle Jimmy.”

They walked into the living room just as Uncle Jimmy arrived downstairs, after changing into a tee-shirt and jeans.

“Hey, Kiddo! What brings you here?”

“She said she wants to talk to you, Jimmy.” Aunt Angie turned to Sarah. “Do you need to talk to him alone?”

“No, you can stay. It’s….well, it concerns Uncle Jimmy, but it concerns the rest of the family, too.”

“I’m intrigued,” Uncle Jimmy said, giving her a hug and motioning for her to sit on the couch. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, thank you,” Sarah said, becoming more nervous by the minute. She waited for her aunt and uncle to sit down and took a deep breath. Might as well just say it straight out. “I….I’m seeing someone.”

“Oh Sarah, that’s wonderful! I take it that it’s serious, since you made a special trip over here tonight.” Aunt Angie got up to hug her and then sat back down.

“Well…I think it’s serious, or at least it could be,” Sarah told them.

Uncle Jimmy was watching her closely. “Is it anyone we know?”

Sarah took another deep breath and turned to her uncle, who was sitting next to her on the couch. “You know him, Uncle Jimmy.” She paused and he waited in silence. “It’s….Mike Logan…..I’m seeing Mike Logan.”

Uncle Jimmy frowned and asked, “How long have you been seeing him?”

“A….about….seven months,” she stammered.

“What?!” Uncle Jimmy jumped up and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “All this time I’ve been burning up favors with the higher ups to get him to Major Case and he didn’t bother to tell me that he’s dating my niece?! That son of a b….”

“Uncle Jimmy!” Sarah stood up and pulled his cell phone from his hand. “He doesn’t know! He has no idea that I’m related to you. Please….please don’t call him. I’m going to see him after I leave here so I can tell him. This is all me…I’m the one who didn’t say anything….to you or to Mike.”

He stood facing her with his hands on his hips, glaring. “You expect me to believe that you’ve been dating this guy for seven months and haven’t said anything to the family?”

Sarah’s temper flared and she stared him down, her own hands on her hips. “Are you accusing me of lying?! When have I ever lied to you?”

Angie stood up and stepped between them. “OK, OK, you two….calm down.” She took the cell phone from Sarah. “Both of you sit down and talk.”

Sarah sat back down on the couch and Jimmy moved to the chair across from her. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees.

“OK, so….you’ve been seeing Logan for seven months. He’s been at Major Case for over a month now….it never occurred to you to mention this to either of us?”

“Well….when we started dating, Mike was still in Staten Island. I just didn’t mention that I had an uncle with the NYPD. I mean, how many cops are there in the department? It didn’t occur to me that he might know you. And then one day, out of the blue, he announces that he’s getting a transfer to Major Case….and he was going on and on about ‘Captain Deakins’ and how grateful he was to get this opportunity. I just thought it would make both of you uncomfortable to know there was this connection. I wanted you to have a chance to get to know each other, to establish a working relationship, before I threw this curve at you.”

Jimmy rubbed his hand through his hair and sighed. “You should have told me, Sarah. This….this could look bad. For me and for Logan.”

“But why? It’s not like he’s your son-in-law or anything! He’s dating your niece. Surely there isn’t a regulation against that!”

Jimmy stood and began to pace around the living room. “No…there’s no regulation. But this job is as much about appearances as it is about ability. Logan has a rep in the department, and it kept him buried in Staten Island for ten years. Suddenly he starts dating my niece and I’m pulling favors to get him transferred to Major Case. Do you see how that could look?”

“I don’t believe anyone would ever think you would do that kind of thing!”

“Well, I appreciate that vote of confidence, but my superiors may not share it. This could look bad for me….and for Logan. Didn’t you stop to think that other cops, especially detectives who are trying to get into Major Case, might think he only got this transfer because of his relationship to me?”

“No,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “I didn’t think that because it’s not true. Mike is a good cop…he must be if you wanted him. It never occurred to me that anyone would think differently.”

“Well, they just might. It may not be pleasant for him.”

“If you knew that I was dating him, would it have made a difference? Would you have asked to have him transferred if you knew?”

Jimmy sat back down in the chair heavily and looked at her. “I don’t know,” he said quietly.

“Then I’m glad I didn’t tell you,” she said firmly. “Mike deserves this. He took his punishment for what he did ten years ago….he shouldn’t be punished now because of who he is dating.”

“And what if he has to make a choice between dating you and staying in Major Case,” he asked quietly.

Sarah stared at him. “Is that going to happen?”

“I don’t know. It could.”

“Then I have to break up with him,” she said softly, her eyes filling with tears. “Now….tonight….before he even knows about all of this. It isn’t fair to make him choose.”

“What do you think he would choose, Sarah?”

Tears trickled down her cheeks. “I….I don’t know. But…I can’t….I can’t let you put him in that position.” She stood and began pacing the same path her uncle had. “You don’t know how important this transfer is to him, Uncle Jimmy. Or how grateful he is to you…..I can’t risk letting him give that up.”

“Sarah…..” he began, but she cut him off.

“No,” she said wiping her tears and trying to control her voice. “I….I have to break up with him. I’m going over there now….I’ll tell him tonight that I don’t want to see him anymore.” She looked at her uncle as he stood and faced her. “J…just don’t tell him. He doesn’t need to know….it will just….he’ll try to….”

She covered her face and began to cry in earnest. Jimmy put his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. He looked at Angie over Sarah’s head.

“Don’t do that, Kiddo,” he said softly. “You don’t have to do that.”

She hiccupped as she wiped her face and looked up at him. “But you said….”

“Forget what I said. It’s my job to look at worst-case scenarios. I won’t let it come to that.” He held her face between his hands and looked at her intently. “I promise you that I won’t let it come to that.” He hugged her again, then pushed her away. “Just go see Logan and tell him that you’re my niece. And tell him to come see me first thing in the morning. OK?”

“OK,” she said tremulously.

“But you better be prepared….Logan may not be any happier that you kept this quiet than I am. I can deal with my superiors and keep him in Major Case…but he’s the one that will have to deal with the gossip and the kidding from other cops.”

“I don’t think Mike worries much about what other people think of him,” she said. “Except for you,” she added.

Angie moved to put her arm around Sarah’s shoulders and hug her. “I know you need to go talk to Mike right now, but I want to sit down and talk…soon. I want to know all about this guy; how you met, how you kept him a secret from this nosy family for so long, what Jia Li thinks about him.”

“Uh….actually….Jia Li hasn’t met him yet,” Sarah said quietly.

Her aunt and uncle both looked at her incredulously. “What do you mean she hasn’t met him? You’ve been dating him for seven months and he hasn’t met your daughter,” Angie asked.

“Well…..I….uh….it just hasn’t been the right time yet.”

Jimmy frowned at her. “I thought you said this was serious. Doesn’t sound very serious if you haven’t even introduced him to Jia Li….let alone the rest of the family.”

“I don’t know yet how serious it is. And at first it just didn’t seem right, and then he said he was going to Major Case and I wanted to wait before telling you both….and then I couldn’t let Jia Li meet him because she would talk about him….”

“And you didn’t want me to know,” Uncle Jimmy finished for her.

“I need to go.” Sarah was suddenly anxious to get away from her uncle’s piercing gaze. She hugged them both, grateful that neither asked her any more questions.

Back in her car, she sighed with relief and rested her forehead against the steering wheel for a moment. That was done. Now she needed to face Mike.


******************************************************************


Sarah stood staring at the door to Mike’s apartment. She had been nervous before going to talk to Uncle Jimmy, but now fear was licking at her. What if Mike was as angry as Uncle Jimmy had been? From what her uncle told her, it sounded as though Mike would have even more reason to resent her silence because he had more to lose, from having to live with the ridicule of other cops to the possibility of being transferred out of the squad that had given him a second chance to prove himself. Why had she waited so long to tell him about her uncle, she wondered now.

Taking a deep breath, Sarah knocked on the door. It opened and Sarah’s breath caught in her chest at the sight of him. Mike was still wearing the trousers and white shirt he had worn for work, but had discarded his shoes, jacket, and tie. He had unbuttoned the shirt about half-way and Sarah could see just a glimpse of his chest hair. He was smiling at her as he reached out and pulled her into his apartment. Closing the door, he pushed her against it and leaned down to kiss her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“You have no idea how good you look to me right now,” he whispered in her ear.

He didn’t seem in any hurry to move into the living room, but continued to hold her, pressing his body against hers, and nuzzling the sensitive spot below her ear. Sarah was overwhelmed by the feel of his body against her and his obvious joy at the sight of her. The guilt of her silence that had been building since the night he told her he was going to Major Case, and the fear of how he was going to react suddenly became too much and tears spilled down her cheeks. She buried her face against his chest and gripped his shirt in her fists as silent sobs caused her shoulders to shake.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Mike pulled back and tilted her face up to him. “What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”

He kissed her wet cheeks, his soft hazel eyes filled with concern. “Did I do something,” he asked softly, causing her to cry even harder.

Mike pulled her against him tightly and then led her to the couch. Gently pushing her shoulders to sit, he sat facing her on the coffee table. Taking both her hands in his left hand, with his right hand he lifted her chin until she was looking at him.

“Sarah, please tell me what’s wrong. If I did anything….”

“No,” she spoke for the first time, cutting him off. “You haven’t done anything but be wonderful to me. I….I just….didn’t realize how hard this was going to be.”

“How hard what was going to be?” He frowned slightly in confusion.

She couldn’t look at him. Sarah lowered her eyes and pulled her hands from his. He watched her silently as she took a deep, shaky breath and rubbed her hands on her thighs.

“I didn’t know that it would be such a problem or I would have…..” she trailed off.

“What would be a problem? Sarah, please talk to me.” Mike’s voice was gentle.

“My uncle was so angry…..and you have even more reason to be angry.” She still couldn’t look at him.

“Why would I be angry? And what does it have to do with your uncle? I want to understand, Sarah, but you aren’t making any sense.”

Taking another deep breath, she finally looked up at him. “My uncle was angry because I didn’t tell him that I am dating you. And I think you will be angry for the same reason….because I’ve been dating you all this time and haven’t told you who my uncle is.”

“Who is your uncle and why would he be mad that you didn’t tell him about me?”

She looked him in the eye and said softly, “My uncle is Jimmy Deakins.”

He stared at her. “What did you say?”

“My uncle is Jimmy Deakins,” she repeated.

“Jimmy Deakins…..as in Captain Jimmy Deakins of the NYPD?”

She nodded her head wordlessly. Mike stood up and paced, running his hand through his hair. She watched him anxiously.

“Your uncle is my boss….and you didn’t bother to mention that to me?”

Sarah swallowed hard at the anger-tinged edge to his voice. They had never argued. Although she had seen him annoyed or in a bad mood, even angry about some of the crimes he dealt with, she had never seen him angry with her.

“I….I didn’t think that it was important when we started dating….it hadn’t occurred to me that you might actually know him. And then when you told me that you were being transferred….I just…..I thought I should let you and Uncle Jimmy get to know one another, work together for a while, before I told you. I thought,” she added softly, “that it might make you uncomfortable if you knew that your new captain was my uncle.”

“More uncomfortable than this,” he asked sarcastically.

She didn’t answer right away and he looked down at her. She was staring up at him, her face blotchy from crying earlier, her cheeks wet with fresh tears, her dark eyes wide and shimmering with more tears, as she watched him with….what? Fear? What was she afraid of? She said her uncle was angry; the captain must have been rough on her. His heart melted, realizing how hard it must have been to face both men.

“I’m sorry, Mike,” she whispered. “I didn’t know…..Maybe I should go.”

She moved to rise from the couch, but Mike quickly sat back down on the coffee table and gently pushed her back onto the couch. He took her hands in his, resting his elbows on his knees. He looked at her solemnly as she watched his face anxiously.

“You should have told me,” he said softly.

She nodded. “I know.”

“You should have told the captain.”

“I know.”

“If he had known about us, he probably wouldn’t have gotten me transferred to his squad.”

The fear and guilt left her face instantly as both her spine and her jaw stiffened. “Then I’m glad I didn’t tell him,” she said firmly. “You deserve to be there, Mike. And if it’s going to be a problem….then….” She faltered and her eyes filled with tears again. Taking a deep breath she blinked back the tears resolutely and continued. “Then we’ll stop seeing each other.”

They gazed at one another for several long moments. Mike’s eyes softened as a smile spread across his face, causing little butterflies in Sarah’s stomach. He leaned forward and grasped the back of her head with one hand, holding onto her hands with his other. He pulled her towards him and gently kissed her lips.

“That is not an option Sweetheart,” he whispered against her lips.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again.

He rested his forehead against hers. “We’ll figure it out,” he told her.

“Uncle Jimmy wants to see you first thing in the morning.”

Mike began to laugh. “I’ll just bet he does.”

Before she could speak again, Mike covered her lips with his, his tongue exploring and teasing hers. Her arms moved up to wrap around his neck and he slid off the coffee table to kneel in front of her. His arms around her waist pulled her tight against him as he continued kissing her. He pushed her back to lie down and swung her legs up on the couch, then he lay down next to her and resumed kissing her. She moaned softly in the back of her throat when his hand slipped under her skirt and he trailed his fingers slowly up her thigh.

The doorbell rang and they both froze for a moment, staring at one another. Mike heaved a loud sigh and let his head fall onto her chest.

“That,” he said with a groan, “would be the Chinese food I ordered.”

Sarah giggled as he pulled himself away and stood up. She started to sit up, but Mike pushed her back down.

“I’ll be right back,” he said. “Save my place.”

She smiled and lay back. She heard him open the front door and speak to the delivery person. Soon he reappeared with two bags from a nearby Chinese restaurant. Setting them down on the coffee table, Mike joined her on the couch again.

“Now, where were we,” he whispered.

“The food will get cold,” she told him softly.

“That’s what the microwave is for.”

He grinned down at her for a moment before lowering his head to kiss her.


******************************************************************


Mike got to work early the next morning, hoping to talk to the captain before the other detectives arrived. But he wasn’t early enough; Eames arrived at the same time he did, riding up in the elevator with him. If she noticed he was distracted, she didn’t say anything. As they stepped off the elevator and walked into the bull pen, he saw that he and Eames weren’t the only ones to come in early today. His partner was sitting at her desk and he spied Goren in an interview room, with a file spread out on the table in front of him and pictures, newspaper clippings, and notes pinned to a bulletin board behind him. Goren and Eames were working on the case of a prison warden who had been attacked, which had led to the discovery that the warden’s wife had been kidnapped ten years earlier.

Mike let out a gusty sigh. “Does everyone come in so friggin’ early around here,” he asked irritably.

Eames looked at him curiously. “Any particular reason you want the place to yourself, Logan?”

He shook his head. “No, no reason at all.”

Eames shrugged and moved towards her desk as Mike turned towards his.

“Good morning,” Barek said as he passed her desk.

“Morning,” he said shortly.

He had barely set his coffee on his desk when the door to the captain’s office opened behind him.

“Logan, in my office,” came the terse command.

He saw Barek look at him curiously, but ignored her as he turned to follow Captain Deakins into the office. Barek looked over to where Eames was also watching Logan with interest. Eames looked at Barek, who shrugged her shoulders to indicate she had no idea what was going on, before both women turned back to their own desks.

Mike closed the door and faced the captain. Deakins indicated he should sit down before settling himself in his chair. He folded his hands on the desk in front of him and sat for a moment looking at the detective. Mike suddenly felt like he did in school when he was sent to the principal’s office. He waited silently for the captain to speak.

“So….you are dating my niece,” Deakins said finally.

“Yes sir,” Mike told him.

“You know this could be a problem for both of us.”

Mike leaned forward in his chair. “Captain, I don’t want to be the cause of any problems for you. I told you that before, and I still mean it. If you want to transfer me out, I’ll understand.”

Deakins looked at him for a moment before sighing and shaking his head.

“No, I don’t want you to leave, Mike. You’re a good cop and I want you in my squad. I just wish my niece had told us about this as soon as she realized.”

“I do too, Captain.”

“But we can’t do anything about that now. If there are any questions from upstairs, I’ll deal with them. You, however, are going to have to deal with the rumor mill when this gets out.”

Mike nodded his head. “It won’t be the first time my name has come up around the water cooler. I can handle it.”

“I was pretty angry with Sarah when she told me last night. I told her that you might have to choose between dating her or being here in Major Case.” Mike didn’t answer and Deakins went on. “Do you know what she said?”

“That she would stop seeing me,” Mike said with a sigh. “She told me the same thing.”

Deakins looked at him closely. “If you did have to make that choice, what would it be?”

Mike silently reached into his coat pocket, pulled out a neatly typed and folded paper, and handed it to him. Deakins unfolded it and looked at it. It was a request to be transferred back to Staten Island, signed and dated that morning. Deakins smiled at Mike and nodded, then turned and fed the paper into the shredder next to his desk.

“OK, then….we get back to work and let the chips fall where they may.”

“Yes sir.”

Mike started to get up, but sat back when the captain cleared his throat.

“In this squad room, you and I are just cops….I won’t be discussing your personal life or your relationship with my niece while we are on the job.”

“I understand and I appreciate that, sir.”

“You and I won’t be discussing your relationship in this office….after today,” Deakins said meaningfully.

Mike grinned at the captain and said, “She’s a special lady, Captain.”

“Yes, she is special. You know….she was with Tony for a long time.”

“Yes sir, I know.”

“And his illness and death were hard on her…and took her a long time to get over.”

Mike knew all too well how long it had taken her. “I know, sir.”

“As your captain, I would never let personal relationships affect any decisions here in this office.”

Mike frowned, wondering where this was going. “I appreciate that Captain.”

“But as Sarah’s uncle....an uncle who loves her like one of my own kids….I wouldn’t like to see her get hurt.”

Mike smiled in relief. “I wouldn’t want to see her get hurt, either.”

“OK,” Deakins said, nodding. “So we understand each other. You better get back to work.”

Mike stood and walked to the door. “Thank you Captain,” he said before walking to his desk. As he sank into his chair, Barek turned to look at him with a silent question. He shook his head as he chuckled. “We’ve got time before our shift starts, Barek. Let’s go get some coffee and I’ll fill you in before you hear it through the grape vine.”

End chapter 4

Had to read the last few chapters of Tremors and start Disintegration - and I'm finally caught up with Annie, Bobby the kids and everyone else. And I am once again addicted!

It's too much to go back through all the chapters I had to read to catch up and highlight the high points (as I saw them) so let me condense...

Everything - as usual - is spot on. You nail everyone's voice. And even when you don't consciously tie things together, they come together perfectly, specifically the Grow connection Flashymom saw.

I could completely 'hear' Nicole in her conversation with Annie. It was chilling. In a bad way, but in a good way too!

I heard it through the grapevine.....Captain Deakins' niece is smart and she's mighty fine........Mike Logan is playing in her grape vine....

Okay, that turned smutty real quick. But, hey! You started it, cuz!

Just poppin' in to see if there was a new chapter yet. ::looks around:: Nope...IWT must be interfering in a BIG way..........

I decided to take a little interlude before getting to In the Wee Small Hours, a little interlude of fluff and fun. And I apologize ahead of time to anyone who speaks German. I used 5 different online translation sites to translate the two phrases that Bobby uses. Since they didn’t all translate them the same, I took the ones that 2 or more of the sites used. If they are incorrect, I am very, very sorry. I just couldn’t resist having Bobby speak a little German.

Thank you to Judy for stepping in again to beta while Spook was tied up this week.

Alex sat across from Carolyn Barek as they ate lunch in the cafeteria at One Police Plaza. She had enjoyed working with Barek when Bobby injured his knee and she was glad that Carolyn was back with a permanent partner.

“So how are you and Logan getting along,” she asked.

“Good,” Carolyn nodded, dipping a fry into catsup. “He’s good. It’s too bad that he got stuck in Staten Island for so long. He’s a little more….physical….with suspects and witnesses than I’m used to. But he knows what he’s doing, how far to push.”

“Ummm….” Alex hesitated and then asked, “What was all that about with the Captain this morning? Coming up in the elevator, Logan looked….well, almost scared. And then Deakins barked at him to get in his office as soon as he got there.” She smiled at the other detective. “C’mon, did he tell you what it was about?”

Carolyn smiled conspiratorially. Looking around, she lowered her voice. “Yeah, he told me. It seems that the captain just found out who Logan is dating.” She paused for effect. “Logan is dating Deakins’ niece.”

Alex’s eyes widened in surprise. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” She began to chuckle. “Was Logan trying to hide it?”

“No, he didn’t know either. I guess Sarah kept it quiet from both of them until last night.”

“Sarah?” Alex frowned slightly. “The librarian?”

“Yeah, I think Mike did say that she was a librarian. Do you know her?”

Alex nodded thoughtfully. “I’ve met her a couple of times at Deakins’ house. Goren and his wife know her better because they spend so much time at the library.” She grinned. “Annie’s gonna flip when she hears.”

“Why,” Carolyn asked.

“Because that woman never saw a single person she didn’t want to play matchmaker for. Be forewarned, by the way, if you spend any time with her. She’ll be looking for a man for you. Anyway,” Alex continued. “Annie thought Logan and Sarah would make a good match and wanted to introduce them. But I think Sarah told her that she was seeing someone. That was a while back. I wonder how long she’s been seeing Logan?”

“Seven months,” Carolyn supplied.

“Seven months?!” Alex chuckled as they picked up their trays and prepared to return to the squad room. “Annie’s gonna flip,” she repeated.



“What?” Bobby looked across at his partner later that afternoon. “I can tell by your face that you want to give me some piece of gossip, Eames. What did you hear at lunch?”

Alex shrugged her shoulders slowly and grinned at him. “I know how much you hate the rumor mill,” she said.

“I do,” he sighed. “But it looks like you are going to burst unless you tell me what you heard.”

Alex leaned forward with her arms folded in front of her. “Guess who Logan is dating?”

Bobby frowned at her. “Romance? Since when are you interested in the love lives of your coworkers?”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Do you want to hear this or not?”

“No,” he said and looked down at the paperwork on his desk, hiding a smile because he knew she wasn’t going to let this go.

“Well, OK….but your wife won’t be happy if she has to find out from someone else.”

Bobby leaned back in his chair and held his hands up in mock surrender. “OK, OK. Who is Logan dating and what does my wife have to do with any of this?”

“It just so happens that your wife’s matchmaker brain dreamed up this very scenario.” Alex chuckled at his frown of curiosity. “Logan is dating Sarah, the captain’s niece.”

Bobby grinned back at her. “Annie will be so pleased.”

“So who gets to tell her…you or me?”

“Oh, I’m going to fall on my husband’s rights on this one,” he said with a laugh. “So…how long…”

“Seven months.”

“Seven months! Then they were dating when the captain….”

Alex shook her head. “Evidently neither Deakins nor Logan knew….Sarah kept it all quiet until last night when she dropped the bombshell on both of them.”

“Ahh….Romance, intrigue….Annie will definitely be pleased.”

Bobby spied Logan getting off the elevator and gave a barely perceptible nod of his head, which Alex caught and they both bent their heads over their desks as he walked by. They dropped the subject and went back to work.

Bobby and Alex left to follow up on a lead and when they returned to the squad room late in the afternoon impromptu plans were being made by most of the detectives and uniformed officers to go out for a drink. No one was sure whose idea it was to begin with, but it seemed everyone was glad for a chance to unwind. Soon phone calls were being made to wives, husbands, boyfriends, and girlfriends, asking them to meet at the bar.



Annie was about to start preparing dinner when her cell phone rang. She looked at the display and smiled.

“Hi Babe,” she said.

“Hey, can you get a babysitter tonight,” Bobby asked.

“Umm….I guess so, why?”

“A bunch of us are going for a drink after work and I thought maybe you could join us. Just take a cab and we’ll come home together in my car.”

“Sounds fun,” she said with a smile. “Are you asking me to come because you plan on needing a designated driver?”

“No,” he said. His voice was suddenly low and intimate, although she could hear the voices of his coworkers in the background. “I just want to take a pretty girl for a ride in my Mustang.”

Annie flushed with pleasure at his playful, flirting tone. “Well, I can’t resist a line like that. Where are we going?”

Bobby told her the name of the bar, just a few blocks from One Police Plaza. After hanging up, she called the teenage girl who lived a few houses down and asked her to babysit. Abandoning the dinner she had planned on making, she pulled out hotdogs, raw vegetables, and potato chips for the babysitter to give the children for dinner. She ran upstairs and changed into simple blue skirt and white top.

When she walked into the bar, the detectives and officers had already begun drinking and the significant others, like her, were trickling in. She spotted Bobby standing in a group that included Tom and Alex. She was surprised to see Alex wearing a skirt, and then remembered that Alex had told her once that she kept a change of clothes at work so that she didn’t have to go home first if she and Tom were meeting after work.

Annie stood for a moment and watched her husband. He had removed his jacket and tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt. He was holding a drink in his hand; Scotch was her guess. Bobby was laughing at a story that Detective Jeffries was telling. She liked seeing him like this; relaxed, happy.

She made her way over to the group and sidled up to Bobby. He smiled down at her and put his arm around her, drawing her close and dropping a kiss on her temple. Annie greeted the people that she knew and Bobby introduced her to two new officers she hadn’t met before. She saw Captain Deakins and his wife not too far away, talking to Mike Logan and Carolyn Barek. She made a mental note to be sure to talk to all of them tonight.

“Hey,” she said in surprise as she caught sight of a dark-haired woman coming through the door, “isn’t that Sarah Johnson? Did she come with Angie?”

“I don’t think so,” Alex said, trying not to laugh.

“I think she is probably meeting her date,” Bobby told her.

“Her date? Who’s her date?”

Annie gasped as she watched Sarah walk up to Mike Logan, who turned and kissed her cheek, tucking her hand in the crook of his arm. Annie squealed causing heads to turn in their direction, including Mike’s and Sarah’s.

“She’s dating Mike Logan?!” She turned to Bobby and hugged him. “I knew they would like each other!”

Grabbing Bobby’s hand, she pulled him in the direction of the group that included Mike and Sarah. They greeted the captain and Angie; Annie couldn’t resist hugging a surprised Sarah.

“Do you remember when I told you that I wanted you to meet someone?” Sarah frowned in concentration and then nodded at the memory. “I was thinking of Mike Logan!”

Mike chuckled at that and Sarah began to laugh. “Do you remember that I said I was already seeing someone?” She grinned at Annie. “I was thinking of Mike Logan, too!”

For the next half hour, it was busy as the crowd moved around, groups forming, shifting, disbanding, as new groups formed. Annie and Bobby finally found themselves seated at a large table that included Jimmy and Angie Deakins, Tom and Alex, Mike and Sarah, and Carolyn Barek. When Annie asked Carolyn if she were married, the group burst out laughing.

“You’re incorrigible,” Bobby told her.

The group’s interest turned to Mike and Sarah, who parried questions about where they met, how long they had been dating.

“Well, you better stock up on peanut butter,” the captain told Mike.

“Jimmy…” Angie warned, as Sarah groaned and covered her face with her hands.

“Peanut butter,” Mike asked curiously.

“Peanut butter,” Jimmy affirmed. “The girl LOVES peanut butter. She drops chocolate chips into a bowl of peanut butter and eats it with a spoon.”

“You know,” Mike chuckled at Sarah’s blushing, “they do make candy bars with peanut butter in chocolate.”

“Yes, I know. But it’s too sweet, and the chocolate isn’t dark enough, and this way I control the ratio of chocolate to peanut butter.”

“That sounds good,” Annie exclaimed as the others at the table laughed. “I’m going to try it.”

“So what other ways do you eat peanut butter,” Mike asked.

“OK, well….of course there is the old standby, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. One of my favorite breakfasts is toast spread with peanut butter and topped with warm applesauce and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Or I just spread apple halves with peanut butter. There’s peanut butter in celery, of course. Or on saltine crackers. Or swirled into ice cream. Sometimes I just get a spoonful of peanut butter and a glass of icy cold milk.”

“That’s a serious love of peanut butter,” Alex said, laughing. “So do you prefer creamy or chunky?”

“Super chunky!”

“Anything else?” Mike thought again how beautiful she was when she blushed.

“Well…I like peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches.”

Mike stared at her. “Peanut butter and dill pickles?”

“They have to be crunchy pickles….”

“And crunchy peanut butter,” teased Mike.

Sarah laughed at herself with the others. “I just like the contrast of flavors.”

“And….” Jimmy prompted.

“Th…that’s it,” Sarah said, blushing again.

“Jimmy, leave her alone,” Angie scolded.

“He should know all of it. C’mon, Kiddo, out with it.”

Mike turned to look at her. “Well,” she said, “I also like grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches.”

Mike laughed as everyone else at the table groaned.

“We always made sure we had plenty of peanut butter in the house when Sarah came to visit as a child,” Angie said.

“We still do,” Jimmy said with a laugh.

The others around the table laughed good naturedly and Mike reached under the table to squeeze her hand. Sarah glowed with pleasure at being with him and his friends.

Annie heard an announcement that karaoke would begin shortly and everyone was welcome to sign up to sing. She turned to Bobby with delight. His fingers were still entwined with hers and resting on his thigh. He had managed to stay in physical contact with her in one way or another the entire evening. He grinned back at her, knowing what she was about to say.

“Karaoke! I want to sing!”

He chuckled and brought her hand up to kiss her knuckles, and then leaned over to drop a soft kiss on her ear. “Then sing, Babe,” he whispered.

She kissed him quickly on the lips before jumping up to go choose her song. Mike leaned across the table and asked, “So is she any good?”

“Oh yeah, she’s good,” Bobby said proudly.

Alex nodded in agreement. “I’ve heard her; she’s great.”

“What do you think she’ll sing,” Sarah asked.

Bobby laughed. “Well, her first choice would probably be ‘Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing’. But considering where she is, I’m going to guess something by Dean Martin. Possibly Sinatra, but Dino is more likely.”

“Ahhh…..’That’s Amore’,” Mike laughed.

Annie was the first person to perform and everyone at their table turned towards her as she stepped in front of the microphone. She smiled across the room at Bobby as the music began.

Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train
And I's feeling near as faded as my jeans.
Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained,
It rode us all the way to New Orleans.

Bobby began to laugh as Mike said, “Now that is not Dino!”

I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandanna,
I was playing soft while Bobby sang the blues.
Windshield wipers slapping time, I was holding Bobby's hand in mine,
We sang every song that driver knew.

Annie pulled the microphone off the stand and began to move around the stage. She wasn’t even looking at the words on the screen, feeling the rhythm of the music as she swayed her hips.

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing don't mean nothing honey if it ain't free, now now.
And feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
You know feeling good was good enough for me,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.

There were whistles and cheers of encouragement from the audience as she sang.

From the Kentucky coal mines to the California sun,
Hey, Bobby shared the secrets of my soul.
Through all kinds of weather, through everything we done,
Hey Bobby baby kept me from the cold.

One day up near Salinas,I let him slip away,
He's looking for that home and I hope he finds it,
But I'd trade all of my tomorrows for one single yesterday
To be holding Bobby's body next to mine.

Bobby’s breath caught in his chest as he watched his wife. In less than a month she would be forty four years old. A month after that, they would celebrate their fourteenth wedding anniversary. But to Bobby she looked just as young, and beautiful….and sexy…as the day he met her.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose,
Nothing, that's all that Bobby left me, yeah,
But feeling good was easy, Lord, when he sang the blues,
Hey, feeling good was good enough for me, hmm hmm,
Good enough for me and my Bobby McGee.

He felt a surge of pride shoot through him as the crowd loudly voiced appreciation and began singing along with her. Annie’s eyes were closed now and she began dancing.

La da la la la, la da la la la da la
La da da la la la Bobby McGee yeah
La da la la la, la da la la la da la
La da da la la la Bobby McGee yeah
La da la la la, la da la la la da la
La da da la la la Bobby McGee yeah
Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo
Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo
Lo lo lo lo lo lo Bobby McGee
Lo lo lo lo lo lo Bobby McGee

The room quieted to a few whistles and shouts of “Yeah!” as she began the last verse.

Lord, I'm calling my lover, calling my man,
I said I'm calling my lover just the best I can,
C'mon, hey now Bobby yeah, hey now Bobby McGee, yeah,
Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lord
Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee, Lord!

Yeah! Whew!

Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordy Lord
Hey, hey, hey, Bobby McGee.

The bar erupted into cheers and applause as she finished. She put the microphone back on the stand and made her way back to the table.

“She does a mean Janis Joplin,” Tom exclaimed.

She was breathing hard and her face was flushed…with excitement or embarrassment, Bobby wasn’t sure. She slipped into the seat next to him and smiled as everyone at the table told her how much they enjoyed the song. Bobby slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to whisper in her ear.

“Ich kann nicht warten, um Ihnen alleindiese nacht, Mrs Goren zu erhalten.”**

He felt her breath hitch and she hid her face against his throat for a moment. Then, sitting back up, she turned back to converse with the rest of the group.

Slowly, the crowd began to thin as people left. “Well, I am going to have to leave,” Sarah said. “I need to pick up Jia Li and get her home and in bed.” There was a chorus of “good night” and Annie got up to give first Sarah, then Mike, a hug.

“I’m so happy you two are dating,” she told them.



Mike walked Sarah to her car, but pulled her into his arms before she got in.

“Are you sure you have to go home,” he whispered against her hair.

“I’m sure,” she said with a sigh.

Mike kissed her, tightening his arms around her as she clung to him.

“Well then,” he said releasing her and reaching to open her car door. “I guess I better go to the store after work tomorrow. I need to stock up on peanut butter.”

She laughed and kissed him again before getting in the car and driving away.



Carolyn excused herself and left. Jimmy and Angie made the rounds of the people still socializing, saying good night before taking their leave. Tom and Alex walked outside with Bobby and Annie; they stood talking for a few minutes before turning to their respective cars. Alex had left her car in the parking garage at One Police Plaza and rode with Bobby to the bar. She went with Tom to his car.

“Where are we going?”

“There’s a full moon tonight,” Tom said.

Alex frowned and looked out of the car window. “That doesn’t really answer the question, Tom. Where are we going?”

“To Coney Island.”

“Why?”

“I….want to take a walk on the beach in the moonlight.” He looked over at her and grinned. “It’s romantic, Alex.”

She sat back without answering. What am I doing with this guy, she wondered. She had been madly and wildly in love with Joe….who bought her a taser as a gift. While she had sometimes wished for a bit more romance from him, for the most part they were in sync. Alex was not a woman who longed for romantic gestures. Yet here she was with a man who sent her flowers for no reason, who called just to say “I miss you”, who wanted to walk on the beach in the moonlight. And she found herself looking forward to it.

When Tom parked the car, for once Alex waited for him to open her door. He brushed his lips across her cheek as she stepped out of the car, and held her hand as they walked. At the top of the steps leading down to the beach, Alex stopped and pulled her hand from his. Reaching down she slipped her shoes off.

“I’m not getting sand all over these shoes,” she said as he looked at her quizzically. She hated to lose the height that the shoes gave her, especially when in the company of 6’ 2” Tom, but her frugal nature wouldn’t let her risk ruining a good (and not inexpensive) pair of shoes. She held them in one hand and Tom held the other one. They reached the bottom of the stairs and made their way across the dunes to the hard packed sand close to the water’s edge.

Still holding hands, they began walking. Tom was right, it was a full moon. Alex had to admit that the moonlight dappling the wet sand and the waves was beautiful. And romantic. They walked for several minutes in silence. It would be autumn soon, but the days were still warm and the sand beneath Alex’s bare feet was warm from absorbing the sun rays all day. Although it was getting late, there were still people on the boardwalk and they could hear the sounds of talking, laughing, and music drifting across the beach.

Tom stopped and turned to look at the waves rolling up on shore, standing behind Alex with his arms around her. She leaned her head back against his chest and watched the waves with him in silence. He smiled as the strains of “Unforgettable” began. He turned Alex to face him and leaned his face close to hers.

“Dance with me, Alex,” he whispered.

She looked up at him, startled. “Here?”

“Yeah….here.”

She glanced around to see if there were any people nearby to see them, then back up at him. Looking around she saw a large rock nearby and set her shoes on it. Smiling up at him she put one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand. His hand on her waist pulled her close and they moved in time to the music as Natalie Cole’s duet with her father washed over them.

Unforgettable, that’s what you are
Unforgettable though near or far
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more

Alex closed her eyes and sighed. In her bare feet, she wasn’t tall enough to lay her head on his shoulder, so she rested her cheek against his chest, feeling the thump, thump of his heart against her cheek. A slight breeze made the hem of her skirt flutter around her knees, the air cool on her legs.

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that’s how you’ll stay
That’s why, darling, it’s incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

His breath skittered through her hair, and she felt his lips pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He pulled her hand against his chest, close to her face, and covered it with his large hand.

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that’s how you’ll stay
That’s why, darling, it’s incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

They continued to move as the music faded. Alex smiled against his chest as a rap song replaced Natalie and Nat King Cole. They stopped, but Tom continued to hold her and she looked up at him. They stood for several moments, staring into one another’s eyes, still wrapped in an embrace. Tom slowly lowered his head to hers and softly touched her lips with his. It was a light, gentle kiss….but not for long. Her tongue brushed his lips and with a soft groan his mouth covered hers, his tongue swept inside. His hand moved from her waist to her hips and pulled her tightly against him. Alex pulled back slightly to look into his eyes.

“Let’s go home, Tom,” she whispered.

“Whose home, Alex?”

She reached up to trace a finger over his lips. He kissed her finger and she slid her hand to cup his cheek.

“It doesn’t matter….as long as you’re there.”


Bobby held Annie’s hand as he drove home. As they walked from the car to the front door, Bobby told her that he would watch the baby sitter walk home; she just lived a few doors down from them.

“Good,” she whispered, before he opened the door. “I’ll slip into something more….comfortable.”

He grinned and kissed her. Once inside, Annie said good night to the baby sitter and went upstairs while Bobby paid her and watched to make sure she got home safely. Annie checked in on the children, and then went to the bedroom.

She searched through her “Bobby” drawer, where she kept all the lingerie that he had given her over the years. Pulling out the one she wanted, she took it to the bathroom to change. She looked at herself in the mirror before going back to the bedroom. She sighed at the pounds that crept on over the years, despite the exercise and her (mostly) healthy diet. But Bobby never seemed to mind. In fact, the lingerie he bought her accentuated her curves, as did this red teddy. It laced up the front, barely covered her buttocks, and fell open in front to reveal matching bikini panties that tied on the sides. She pulled her long, blond hair out of its usual French braid and brushed it out to fall over her shoulders and down her back.

Annie opened to the bathroom door, intending to arrange herself enticingly on top of the bed before Bobby came in. But instead she found him already in bed, wearing his tee shirt and boxers….and reading a book. She stopped short and frowned. She thought they both wanted to make love. Surely she hadn’t misread the signals.

“Uh…Bobby?”

“Mmm, hmmm?” He didn’t even look up.

“What are you doing?”

“Reading.”

“Are you going to be reading long?”

“A while. It’s that new book on criminal profiling that I’ve been wanting. I just haven’t had time to read much.”

He still hadn’t looked up, but she detected an almost imperceptible smile tug at the corners of his mouth. He was teasing her. So this was how it was going to be. Bobby wanted to play games….specifically he wanted her to beg. He loved when she begged. Well, we will just see who begs tonight, she thought, suppressing her own smile.

“OK….well,” she said, pulling on her bathrobe, “if you are going to be reading for a while, I think I’ll go get a snack. Do you want anything?”

“No thanks.”

He carefully kept his eyes on his book as Annie turned and left the room. He glanced at the open doorway with a frown. What was she up to? A few minutes later she came back into the room with a bowl and spoon. Closing and locking the bedroom door, she shrugged out of the bathrobe. Now he was watching her admiringly, although he still held the book open in his hands. She smiled as she moved to his side of the bed. Climbing onto the bed, she sat facing him, straddling his thighs.

“I’ll share,” she said with a smile. “Do you want a bite?”

“No, thank you. I’m not in the mood for choc….”

He stopped as she scooped a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. It wasn’t her favorite Chocolate Fudge Brownie….it was Peach ice cream. His favorite.

“Mmmmm….it’s really good. Here, have a bite.”

He smiled at her and opened his mouth, allowing her to feed him a spoonful of ice cream. She scooped more onto the spoon and brought it towards her mouth. But before it made it into her open mouth, her hand tilted the spoon ever so slightly and the glob of ice cream slid off the spoon and plopped into her cleavage.

“Oops!” She smiled and licked the remaining ice cream off the spoon. “Now look what I’ve done.” She looked at him, her eyes wide with feigned innocence. “I’m sooo clumsy….I really hope it doesn’t stain.”

Without taking his eyes off of hers, Bobby slowly and deliberately closed his book and placed it on the table next to the bed. He took the bowl and spoon from her and set them next to the book, and then reached for the laces on her teddy.

“Here,” he said softly. “Lassen Sie mich das für Sie erhalten.”***



The next morning, Bobby grinned at Alex as he set a cup of coffee on her desk, then moved around to sit down at his. Neither he nor his partner had very much to drink the night before, but they could see that several of the detectives and officers could not say the same. There were some rather pained expressions around the bull pen, indicating hangovers. Although he and Alex both shared amused glances, neither of them said anything. They both had been in the same condition and knew how difficult it was to come in to work. They turned their heads at the same time as Captain Deakins opened the door of his office and called them.

“Goren, Eames….I got one for you. Teenage girl has gone missing.” Deakins glanced down at the note he had just scribbled. “Bethany London….here on a class trip from Iowa didn’t show up for the bus to the airport this morning. Could be a runaway, could be she snuck out to party last night and is sleeping it off somewhere this morning. But we need to get on this quick, before the press gets hold of it.”

Bobby picked up his notebook as Alex took the notes from the captain, and they made their way to the elevator.

End chapter 5

**I can’t wait to get you alone tonight, Mrs. Goren

*** Let me get that for you

Thank you to Irving Gordon for writing the unforgettable “Unforgettable” and to Natalie and Nat King Cole for recording it. Thanks also to “Bridezillas”. Although I have never watched the show, their many commercials during Bravo’s LOCI marathons used this song and each time made me envision Tom and Alex dancing on the beach.

Another thank you to Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster for writing “Me and Bobby McGee”. Though many have recorded that song, it was Janis Joplin that Annie was channeling as she sang.

<clapping... clapping.... clapping>

That was a great chapter. And a lot of fun. I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of it.
I tried an online translator... it wasn't very helpful... so I'm just going to let my imagination have free rein.

Thanks Kat! While I thought the chapters would come faster now, Icky Work Thing and RL have NOT cooperated. But I'm working on the next chapter...if only there were a faster way to get it from my head and into the computer. Sigh.....

The next two chapters take place during In the Wee Small Hours. Thank you to Judy for you beta services. And to Judy, Squarey, and Flashymom for letting me bounce ideas and talk on and on and on about my plans for these characters….and never pointing out to me that they aren’t real, but only exist in my overactive imagination!

Annie had just fallen asleep when she heard the doorbell downstairs. She got up, but heard Bobby opening the door. Curious as to who would be dropping in so late at night, she headed for the stairs. She took one step down, and then stopped as she heard a familiar voice.

“Hey Bobby.” Even though it was slurred, there was no mistaking the voice.

“What are you doing here, man?” Bobby’s voice was soft, noncommittal.

“Do I need an excuse to come and see my little brother?”

“Yeah, Frank, you do. What do you want?”

Annie sat down on the top step and listened to the brothers.

“Look, Bobby…..I, uh…I need a….I just need to cover a bet I lost. But,” he added quickly, “it’s only for a couple of days. I’m good for it next week, I swear.”

She couldn’t see them, but she could hear the weariness in Bobby’s voice as he said, “I told you before, Frank. No more. I’m not covering any more gambling losses. If you’re gonna keep doing this, you’re on your own. I’m out.”

“C’mon, man…this is serious. I need to pay these guys off.”

“Then I hope you find the money, Frank. But it’s not coming from me. And I hope you get clean. But until you do, don’t come around my house or my family again.”

“That’s what this is about, isn’t it, Bobby? Your wife?” Annie felt a shiver run down her spine. “She’s still pissed that she didn’t get me thrown in prison and now she’s leading you around by the nose. That prissy little bit….”

His voice was cut off suddenly and she heard the sounds of a scuffle. She got up and went down the stairs, but stopped at the bottom landing as she heard Bobby’s voice, low and menacing.

“I told you not to ever talk about my wife like that. And for your information, Annie doesn’t even know that you’ve been asking for money. This is me, Frank. Your ‘little brother’ is sick and tired of bailing you out just to see you piss it all away.” She heard more rustling and Bobby continued. “Here’s enough money to get you a cab to whatever hole you are living in now. I mean it, Frank. Don’t come back around here unless you’re clean.”

She watched as Bobby stepped back into the house and firmly closed the door. He turned and stopped as he caught sight of her. They stared at one another for a moment, and then Annie stepped towards him. He shook his head and held up a warning hand.

“Not now, Annie. I don’t want to talk about this now.”

She stopped and watched him as he walked into the kitchen. She heard the refrigerator open and close, the sound of a beer opening. Then the sound of the basement door opening and closing.

Annie stood for a moment, undecided, and then turned and went back upstairs. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes….willing herself back to sleep.



Bobby sat the empty beer bottle on the end table next to the couch in his office. He leaned his head back against the dark, soft leather and closed his eyes. He wished Frank hadn’t come to the house tonight. And he really wished Annie had not heard their conversation.

He knew she wanted to talk, to ask him questions, but he wasn’t up to it. He rubbed his eyes, seeing in his mind the hurt on her face when he told her he didn’t want to discuss it. She didn’t deserve that….but he didn’t know how else to keep from getting into yet another discussion that would end up in an argument.

He got up and turned off the lights, heading upstairs. In the bedroom he found Annie asleep on his side of the bed, curled around his pillow. She frequently did that when he wasn’t in the bed with her. He got ready for bed, stripped down to his tee-shirt and boxers, and slipped into the bed on Annie’s side. He leaned over her, propped on his elbow, and watched her sleep. Taking a lock of her hair, he twirled it around his finger. Annie stirred.

“Bobby,” she murmured and he lay down and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled the faint lilac scent that lingered.

“I love you, Annie,” he whispered.

She snuggled closer against him and laced her fingers through his, pulling his palm against her lips and kissing it softly.

“I love you too, Babe.”




“She engaged in reckless and inappropriate behavior.”

The words spoken by the teenage girl’s father rang in Bobby’s head as he drove home. It was five days since Bethany Lunden disappeared and it didn’t feel like they were any closer to finding out what happened to her. The two boys who went missing had turned up at the airport in what appeared to be a completely unrelated incident. They did find a girl who they believed had been with the same boy Bethany met at a club. The boy had posted pictures of the girl and himself after having sex. Looking at the pictures of the half-naked girl, who was obviously so drunk she didn’t know what she was doing, Bobby thought of his own daughter, on the verge of becoming a teenager, and he felt nauseous.

“No wonder her dad went nuts,” Captain Deakins had said, and Bobby agreed. He couldn’t imagine what he would do if those pictures had been of Ally. The thought of her being used the way that Suzy was….the way he suspected Bethany was used as well, and possibly a third girl. Who knew how many others there had been.

He knew he had missed dinner….again. He and Eames, as well as Logan and Barek, had been working long hours since Bethany’s disappearance. It was almost dark when he pulled into the driveway and lights were on inside the house. As he opened the door, Annie was standing on the stairs, about half-way up, with her back to him.

“……and that bathroom better be spotless when I come back up there or there will be NO TV time tonight!”

She spun around when she heard the door close; she smiled at him as they met at the bottom of the stairs and embraced.

“Tough night?” He felt some of his tension evaporate as he held her against him and nuzzled her neck.

“Just the usual,” she said with a sigh. “I sent the boys up to get their baths and they destroyed the bathroom.”

He kissed her and held her without speaking for several moments. Finally he pulled away and asked, “Where’s Ally?”

“In her latest favorite place…the playhouse, reading. I was going to send her up to get her bath…after the boys clean it, that is.”

“I’ll get her,” he said.

He kissed her again and turned towards the kitchen. Going into the backyard, he looked over at the playhouse. It was too dark for her to read and he could see the light of a battery-operated lantern shining through the small windows.

He had built the playhouse from scratch, the summer Ally turned three. Annie was pregnant with the twins and had brought lemonade and cookies out to the two of them as they worked. Mostly he worked and Ally handed him tools and chattered nonstop. He could still see the look of admiration on her face when it was finally finished. She thought that her Daddy could do anything. When it came to decorating the finished product, he was relegated to handyman as Annie and Ally took over. He painted it inside and out with the colors they picked out. It was definitely a playhouse for a three year old girl; all pink, lace, and “Hello Kitty” designs. The décor had changed over the years as Ally’s tastes had changed and as the boys had grown, first to share the playhouse and then, for a time, to take up residence when she lost interest. Recently, Ally had begun spending time in the playhouse again, finding it a nice refuge for reading.

That was also the summer that his mother’s condition had worsened to the point that he went to court to have her declared incompetent and himself appointed her conservator, and then had her admitted to Carmel Ridge. In the midst of that emotional turmoil, he had looked forward every evening to coming home to work on the playhouse. Seeing Ally’s excitement and hearing her say, “Oh Daddy! It’s the best house in the whole world!” had been soothing after watching his mother slipping further and further away from him.



Ally was curled up on the floor, propped up on pillows as she read. She was so engrossed in the book that she didn’t realize her father was approaching until she heard his knock and the door swung open. She looked up, surprised, as he squeezed himself inside and sat down next to her.

She couldn’t remember the last time Dad had been in the playhouse. It was really too small for her big father and sitting on the floor seemed to bother his knee. He used to come in sometimes when she was little. While it was usually Mom who played make-believe with her, Dad would occasionally squeeze into the playhouse and very solemnly take part in her tea parties. Playing with Mom was more of a collaboration in imagination. Mom was the one who made up stories and encouraged Ally and her brothers to do the same. When Mom played with them, she tossed out ideas for characters and plots. But when Dad played with her, Ally was the writer and director. She told him what the story was and who each of them would be. He always played whatever role Ally assigned to him and took her direction without trying to change anything.

She suppressed a smile as he lowered himself to the floor, remembering the times he had sat with her, sipping from tiny tea cups and conversing with her assorted dolls, stuffed animals, and imaginary friends.

“What are you reading,” he asked.

“The Silver Chair,” she told him, looking at him questioningly.

“Ah…The Chronicles of Narnia….that’s a good one.” She nodded, but didn’t answer. He was silent for a moment before saying, “You’re growing up.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, remembering the day she started her period and he took her to lunch.

“It won’t be long until you’re in high school.”

“Yeah.”

“And dating.”

Ally blushed. What was her father leading up to? She really, really hoped it wasn’t a conversation about the birds and the bees.

“I just….” He hesitated and Ally groaned inwardly. “I just want you to know…before you start dating, before you have boyfriends….that no one who…cares about you would ask you to do things you aren’t comfortable with.”

Oh no! It was about the birds and the bees! And she was trapped in this playhouse!

“Dad! I already know…you know…’the facts of life’. You don’t have to…” She trailed off.

“I know, I know,” he told her quickly. “I just want you to know that no matter how much you like someone, or even love someone….if anyone, a girl or a boy….asks you to do things that you don’t want to do, or that you know are wrong….”

“Just say no?” She grinned at him and he smiled back at her.

“Yeah…just say no.”

“I will, Dad.”

“Good.” He hesitated, obviously uncomfortable, and Ally felt her stomach flutter. He wasn’t through yet. “Sweetheart….you don’t….” He took a deep breath and went on. “Are any of your friends…anyone you know…sexually active?”

“Dad,” she wailed, horrified that he would ask her that question. “Gross! No!”

“OK, good.” He smiled at her as she tried to hide her face behind her book. “Just one more question.”

She peeked at him over the top of her book. “What,” she asked warily.

“Would you tell me if you did know someone who was having sex?”

She opened her mouth to say what she knew he wanted to hear; that of course she would tell him. But as she looked into her father’s dark eyes and registered the sincere, intense look he was giving her, she found herself searching her own heart for the truth. What was the truth? Would she tell him if one of her friends was having sex? Would she tell him if she was having sex?

“I….I don’t know,” she said softly.

She waited for him to react, but he just looked at her for a moment before smiling.

“It’s OK, Ally. I’m done with the questions. I want you to know that you can always come to me or to Mom and tell us anything. Even if it’s something you think we won’t understand or that you think will make us mad. Because we might not always understand, and we might even get mad. But we will always try. And we will always love you. Do you know that?” She nodded and he nodded back. “Mom wants you to go take your bath and get ready for bed.”

She sighed with relief and closed her book. Dad sat where he was as she got up to leave, pulling her into a hug as she passed him. He kissed the top of her head.

“I love you, Sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Daddy.” She wiggled out of his arms and went through the playhouse door. Sandy was waiting outside for her and jumped up, overjoyed to see her. They raced to the house and at the door Ally turned to look back at the playhouse. Dad was still inside. She leaned down and hugged Sandy fiercely.

“Parents are so weird,” she whispered to the dog before going into the house.





Annie was in her SUV, ready to leave the church after serving lunch. Her cell phone rang and she looked at the ID on the screen. It was a number she hadn’t seen on her phone in over a year. Carmel Ridge. Why was someone at the facility calling her? She had kept in touch with the administrator and the director of nursing for some time after that awful Thanksgiving when Frances had effectively cut Annie out of her life. But eventually she had stopped calling when it became clear that this was not a temporary rift.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Paine? This is the Director of Nursing at Carmel Ridge. The administrator is calling your husband right now, but I thought I should call and let you know what is going on with Mrs. Goren.”

“What’s happened?” Fear clutched at her. It must be bad if they were even calling her.

“Well…Mrs. Goren had a visitor today. A man who said his mother was an old friend of hers, and that he knew Mr. Goren from the police academy. He…he had a badge, so our receptionist didn’t question it. But…he began asking Mrs. Goren a lot of questions about your husband and their family…his father, his brother. Mrs. Goren got upset, but he was alone with her and kept pushing her for answers. Annie….she had a psychotic break. We had to restrain her.”

“Physically?”

“Physically and chemically. I’m afraid she is…well, she’s very heavily sedated and has been restrained in her bed since this morning. We check on her, of course, and release the restraints and check for circulation.”

“And how is she?”

“She’s not responsive right now.”

“I’m on my way,” Annie told her. She ended the call and immediately called Bobby.

“Annie?” He must have gotten the call; she could hear the frustration and tension in his voice.

“The Director of Nursing from Carmel Ridge called me. I’m on my way up there.”

“No, you don’t need to do that. I’ll go…I just have to do something first.”

“Bobby,” she said, “I can go. I’m in my car, I can leave right now.”

“It’s not necessary. I’ll get up there as soon as I can.”

“But I want….”

“I said NO!” There was a stunned silence. Bobby took a deep breath. “It will only upset her if she wakes up to find you there, Annie. That’s the last thing she needs right now.”

“I…I just want to help.”

The frustration in his voice was evident as he answered. “You can help by staying out of this. I’ll take care of it.”

“Alright,” she said softly. “I’ll just go home then.” She hesitated before continuing. “Wi….will you call me and tell me how she is?”

“We’ll talk when I get home. I have to go now.” He ended the call.

Annie sat for several moments, staring at the phone. Then she started the SUV and drove home. All she told the children that night was that Daddy would be home late. She decided to let him tell them whatever he felt they should know. After they went to bed, she sat down on the couch and tried to read while she waited for Bobby.

It was very late when the front door opened and Bobby walked in. She could see how fatigued he was. He was favoring his knee, as he did when he was very tired. The weight he had put on over the last year, since the injury, didn’t help. Tired though he was she could see he was still agitated as well. He was carrying his coat and tie over his arm and he tossed them over the banister of the stairs. He didn’t speak to her, just headed to the kitchen and pulled a beer out of the refrigerator and sat down at the table. Annie followed him and sat down across from him.

“So…how is she,” she asked softly.

“Not good,” he shook his head. “She’s still heavily medicated, although they’ve removed the restraints. It’s going to take a couple of weeks to get her medication regulated again.”

“Who was the man that visited her? Do you know him?”

“No…it’s…” he sighed wearily. “It’s all related to a case we’re working. I can’t talk about it now.”

“But…”

“I said I can’t talk about it, Annie.”

They stared at one another across the table.

“Again.” He raised an eyebrow in question. “You can’t talk about it…again. Your mother, your work…off limits. Again.”

“You know why I don’t talk about my mother. And there are just some cases that are too sensitive for me to talk about.”

“Evidently all of your cases are too sensitive these days. You don’t talk to me about work at all. And no, I don’t know why you can’t talk to me about your mother. You know I care about her.”

“And you know that she wants nothing to do with you. But you keep pushing. If I try to talk to you about her, it just ends up in an argument.”

“If you would just let me see her…”

Bobby slammed the beer bottle down on the table. It didn’t break, but beer shot up out of the neck and spilled across Bobby’s hand.

“This is why I don’t talk to you about my mother! You won’t let it go! She does not want to see you, Annie. She’s been very clear about that and she hasn’t changed her mind. If you try to force yourself on her, she’s just going to have more episodes like today because she will constantly be upset. Is that what you want, Annie? Is that what it will take for you to understand that I can’t take that chance?” Annie didn’t answer, keeping her eyes on the table. “This isn’t my fault, Annie. I didn’t create this situation.”

Annie didn’t think she could trust her voice, so she nodded her head without looking up. They sat in silence for several minutes. Annie watched as Bobby got up and washed his hand, then cleaned the spilled beer off of the table. Finally, still not looking at him and still without speaking, she got up from the table and went upstairs. Bobby didn’t come to bed that night, instead sleeping on the couch in his office.

Annie didn’t sleep well, dozing fitfully and waking frequently to look at the empty space next to her. Since it was obvious he wasn’t coming to bed that night, she moved over to Bobby’s side and curled herself around his pillow, inhaling his scent. But even that didn’t help. She finally gave up around 2 AM. She sat up and turned on the light next to her side of the bed. Pulling out the book she was reading, she tried to focus on the printed words. It was useless; the words didn’t make sence to her, even after reading the same paragraph four times. She tossed it aside and picked up her Bible, turning to her favorite book…Ruth. The familiar words failed to soothe her tonight. Wrapping her arms around her knees, hugging the open Bible against her chest, Annie tried to pray. Again, there was no familiar sense of peace.

Finally, she got up and quietly opened the bedroom door, listening. She didn’t hear Bobby moving around downstairs and the lights were all off. She padded downstairs in her bare feet and went to the door of the basement. Carefully turning the door knob, trying not to make any sound, she gently pushed the door open and peeked in. The lights were off, but the office was lit by the ambient light of the computer on Bobby’s desk. She slipped inside and silently closed the door. She crept down the stairs half way and then slid down to sit on one of the steps.

She could see Bobby lying on his couch, his back towards her. His breathing was shallow and even. Annie wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees, watching him sleep. She didn’t know how long she sat there and she wasn’t aware of having dozed off, but she woke with a start. Sitting up, she blinked in confusion for a moment before remembering where she was. Glancing at Bobby, she discovered that he was no longer asleep, either. He was still lying on the couch, but now he was facing her, his head propped on his hand as he silently watched her.

They looked at one another for several long moments before Annie quietly stood and descended the rest of the stairs. As she approached the couch, Bobby scooted over to make room for her and then wrapped his arms around her when she slid next to him. They lay quietly, not moving. Overwhelmed by his scent and the feel of him lying along the length of her, tears welled up in Annie’s eyes. They spilled down her cheeks and her shoulders shook softly as she tried to hold back. Bobby’s arms tightened around her, his hand pressing against the back of her head, his lips against her hair, his soft whispers of comfort and apology almost inaudible. His gentleness undid her and she began to cry in earnest, clinging to him.

“I love her, Bobby,” she said finally.

“I know, Babe, I know.”

“And I miss her. She’s been such a big part of my life for so long and suddenly she’s…..she’s just gone.”

“Annie….”

He tilted her head back so that she was looking up at him. He kissed her eyes, her wet cheeks, her nose, nipped first one earlobe and then the other, felt her gasp as he kissed her throat, lingering in the sensitive hollow at the base, then back up to her lips, where he captured her mouth for a long, deep kiss. Annie kissed him back hungrily, pressing herself more tightly against him. He sighed deeply as she kissed his face as he had kissed hers, down to his throat, and back to his mouth.

“Make love to me, Bobby,” she whispered against his lips.

He glanced towards the door at the top of the stairs. “The kids,” he reminded her.

She kissed his throat again. “They’re upstairs and asleep….they won’t hear us.” Bobby looked at her in surprise. Annie was the one who was always so concerned about privacy. But now he gasped as she slid her hand under the waistband of his boxers. “Please, Babe…make love to me.”

Groaning softly, he tangled his fingers in her silky hair and pulled her head back so that she was again looking up at him. He covered her mouth with his, and then rolled to cover her body as well.

End chapter 6

All I can say is, that must be a big couch down there in that basement! *whew*


LOVED the bit about Bobby building the playhouse for Ally and how she felt about him. So true!

All of it was great; you captured everything perfectly! Ally as a pre-teen reacting to "the talk" with Dad; and that is was DAD, not Mom who talked to her....appropriately mortified; very nice.

Annie sobbing in Bobby's arms b/c Francis is "gone" from her life...*sob*

All of it well done, as usual.

I'm ready for more! The trial bit should be interesting.....

I was also looking for the stuff I beta'd......::looks around some more:: where is it? Is it coming soon?

Wow, lots of fanfic to catch up on here. Great chapter, I loved the scene near the end with Annie sitting on the stairs, it's like there's a sense of hesitance between the two.

I really don't like that he's shutting her out more and more. Even Logan and Eames noticed it in the last chapter. Does not bode well for their marriage.........I hope they can make it and not separate or get divorced or anything horrible like that....

Yeah, I wouldn't like to see that either, but I don't think Annie will give up that easily. I just liked how that part was written, that's all.

This chapter is again set during In the Wee Small Hours. Thank you to Judy for beta’ing the entire chapter, and to Flashymom and Squarey for beta’ing Tom and Alex’s scene. There is a much more explicit version of that scene posted at ff.net, for those of you who are interested.


“So Mr. Carver, Tiana becomes leverage to get a conviction for the murder of a white girl?”

Frustrated, Mike slammed the door of the refrigerator hard enough that he heard the various glass bottles and jars rattle against each other. He had intended to get a beer out, but then decided against it.

“Mike?”

He turned to find Sarah standing between the small kitchen and living room, looking at him questioningly. They had gone out to dinner and then back to his apartment, where they had made love. She was dressed and ready to leave since she needed to get home to Jia Li.

He sighed as he looked at her. He knew he hadn’t been very good company tonight; he was silent most of the evening. He was distracted and angered by this case with the judge and his son. Even having the beautiful Sarah in his bed and in his arms had not been enough to get the case out of his head.

“I know something is wrong,” she said. “Please tell me.”

He suddenly felt remorse that she hadn’t enjoyed the evening. He shouldn’t have let his work interfere with the precious time he had with her. He strode across the kitchen and pulled her into his arms, burying his face against her neck. Her arms went around his waist and she hugged him tightly.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she repeated.

“It’s this case,” he said. He pulled away and took her hand, leading her to the couch in the living room.

“The judge? I saw you on TV yesterday, arresting him.”

“Yeah,” he said, leaning back and pulling her against him with one arm. “We arrested him.”

“And? Isn’t that good?”

Mike shrugged. “Yeah, it’s good. I just…..he’s already got his people going after us.”

“Going after you? How?”

“Dredging up bogus ‘excessive force’ charges against me…most of them are from before I went to Staten Island. Someone pulled Barek’s FBI file from when she worked with them after 9/11. The worst, though, is what they did to Goren.”

“What did they do?” She sat up so that she could turn and face him.

“A private investigator, an ex-cop of all things, went to the psych hospital where Goren’s mother lives and questioned her. He upset her so bad, I hear she had a psychotic break. Goren used it to trick the judge into confessing he had sex with the girl. He’s never said much about his mother to me, but I’m guessing he’s pissed. This judge…he’s a bad guy, Sarah.”

“And now he’s going to trial, right? So why are you still so upset?”

Mike leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and rubbed his face.

“Because he’s not the only bad guy here. Goren thinks he’s the one who killed the Lunden girl, but that son of his….he’s mixed up in this, too. And he’s skating on this one so that we can get his testimony against his father.”

“So you think the son did it?”

Mike stood up and paced around the small room. “I don’t know. He did it, or he was in on it with his father....it wouldn’t be the first time they shared a woman. I don’t know. But whatever his involvement with Bethany, there’s no question about his involvement with Tiana Peterson. He drugged her, he had sex with her, and he was with her when she died. But he’s going to get a slap on the wrist just so we can get his testimony against the judge.”

“Did he kill her?”

Mike shook his head. “It doesn’t play like that. By his own admission, when he was being taped without his knowledge, she fell and hit her head. But he gave her the drugs that probably made her so unsteady that she did fall. And he didn’t try to get any help for her. On that tape, he said that her head ‘bounced off the rail like a beach ball.’ A beach ball! This teenage girl is dead and the little pervert thinks it’s funny! To him, she was nothing more than a box to check off on his sex list.”

“But he’s being charged with something, right?”

“Yeah…” He kept pacing. “But from the beginning, Tiana has gotten the short end of this. When we first found out she was missing, the Chief of D’s wanted ‘all our resources’ concentrated on the pretty white girl…not the Black girl. And then we find her body but instead of justice for Tiana, she’s used to get a conviction in Bethany’s case.”

“So you think….”

“I think that Tiana’s mother is right; if she was a white girl, her disappearance and her death would have been taken more seriously.”

“Mike….” Sarah frowned. “Are you saying that the department is racist? And the DA’s office? I mean….Mr. Carver….isn’t he Black?”

“Carver is Black. But evidently getting a conviction on a high profile case, with a high profile defendant, is more important than….”

She shook her head. “I can’t believe that.”

“Sarah, it was Deakins who told us that we had to focus on the Lunden case.”

“What do you mean? He said you couldn’t even investigate Tiana’s death?”

“He said that the Chief of Ds wanted us focused on the case getting all the press. He did finally give Barek and me the rest of the day to look at Tiana’s disappearance.”

“So he didn’t shut you down completely?”

“Yeah well…his ‘support’ was pretty shaky. Deakins is a ‘party line’ guy. He’s not going to rock the boat.”

“But he did let you go on investigating….and then you found the girl’s body.”

“Do you hear what you just said? He ‘let us’. He’s a cop, he shouldn’t be ‘letting us’ investigate the disappearance of a teenage girl. He should be directing it. And now we have a body, we have DNA, we even have a taped confession. And what does Deakins do when the ADA wants to ignore the Black girl because the white girl is getting all the publicity? Nothing…not a damn thing.”

Sarah stood up and put her hands on her hips. “Are you saying he’s a racist?”

“I’m saying he’s a player…he plays all the Horse Hockey! political games instead of….”

“Instead of what,” she interrupted furiously. “Instead of doing his job? My uncle is not a racist! And he doesn’t play ‘Horse Hockey! political games’. He’s a cop! And a good one!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! All you see is ‘Uncle Jimmy’, this kind, sweet, fatherly….”

“Stop it! You are not going to talk about my uncle that way!”

“That’s right…he’s your uncle. But he’s my boss and I see a side of him that you never……”

“Stop it,” she shouted. “You didn’t think he was so bad as a boss when he stuck his neck out to get you out of Staten Island, did you?!” She grabbed her purse and headed towards the door. “I’m not staying here to listen to you bad mouth my family.”

“Because your family is off limits to me, aren’t they Sarah?” She had never heard Mike raise his voice before, but it was his words more than their volume that stopped her as she was about to open the door and storm out of his apartment. She turned slowly to face him.

“What,” she asked softly. Mike’s voice was also soft when he answered.

“Your family, Sarah. We’ve been together seven months and I’ve only been to your house when Jia Li isn’t there. I haven’t met your daughter; I haven’t met your parents. The only reason I’ve met your uncle is that he’s my boss.”

She stared at him for a moment and then slowly moved to sit down on the couch. She looked up at him and said, “I didn’t know this was bothering you.”

He sat down on the coffee table, his knees barely touching hers. “I guess I didn’t know it was bothering me, either.”

“And I didn’t know it was so important to you.”

Mike reached for Sarah’s hands and held them gently between his own as he looked into her eyes.

“They are important to you….that makes them important to me.”

She grasped his hands. “I want you to meet her, to meet all of my family. I….I….just….” She sighed. “It’s been just Jia Li and me for so long. And I didn’t think that you were…” She looked down at her lap, then back up shyly. “I didn’t think you were a ‘kid person’.”

He chuckled. “That makes two of us. Truthfully, the few women I’ve dated who had kids, I wasn’t all that anxious to meet them. I wasn’t looking to be a ‘father figure’ to anyone.”

“And now?”

“Now? Well, now it’s you, Sweetheart….and you aren’t like any other woman I’ve dated. I still don’t know about being a ‘father figure’, but what I do know is that I want to know everything about you and everyone in your life…including your daughter.”

“Mike,” she said softly. “I…I don’t think I’m ready to…you know….share her. And I can’t bring you around the rest of my family….”

“Until I’ve met Jia Li,” he finished for her. Mike lifted her hands to his lips and kissed first one and then the other. “I don’t want to rush you into anything you aren’t ready for.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I said the things I did.”

“I overreacted about Uncle Jimmy.”

“You know that I am grateful to the captain for everything he’s done for me…right?”

Sarah nodded. “I know.”

“I just keep seeing that girl’s face on the missing person poster….and hearing that kid talk about her death like it was some kind of joke. And I get….” He sighed. “But I shouldn’t dump on you.”

“I want you to be able to talk about your job.” She smiled at him and leaned forward to kiss him softly on the lips. “I promise not to get mad…no matter what you say about Captain Deakins….as long as you don’t criticize Uncle Jimmy.”

Mike laughed. “Captain Deakins, Uncle Jimmy….they’re both good guys.”

He slid off the coffee table and knelt in front of her. His arms went around her waist and pulled her close as her arms wrapped around his neck. His mouth covered hers for a long, gentle kiss.




Alex slipped from the bed, careful not to awaken Tom. In the darkness, she felt around on the floor through the pile of clothing that had been discarded earlier in the evening. Her fingers closed on Tom’s tee-shirt and she pulled it from the pile and slipped it over her head. She glanced at the clock and noted it was a little after 3 AM. She walked barefoot over to the door that opened onto a small balcony from Tom’s bedroom. This was probably her favorite part of his house; she loved to stand out there at night and watch the lights of other homes where people were living and loving and fighting and making up. She and Tom had never had a serious argument and she hoped that the fighting and making up part was something they would never have to do.

She closed the door quietly behind her and turned to look at the night view. It was chilly out, but she didn’t want to go back in to get slippers or a robe. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged herself. She liked wearing Tom’s shirt; liked the feeling that she was wrapped in his scent.

Alex leaned her elbows on the balustrade and sighed deeply. This case with the missing girl…two girls, actually…and the judge had been difficult. She was glad it was over. At least, it was over until it actually went to trial. The closer they got to the judge, the uglier it had become. She was especially worried about her partner. What Judge Garrett’s henchman did to Bobby’s mother was unforgivable. Her mental health was always a concern to him, but now that the private investigator had precipitated a psychotic break, it might take some time for her to recover.

She heard the door open behind her, and she closed her eyes as Tom moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling her neck. She hadn’t realized how cold she was until she felt his warmth. She was also acutely aware that he was naked.

“Can’t sleep,” he asked quietly.

“No. I’m sorry I woke you.”

“It’s OK,” he said, rubbing his stubble against her soft skin and causing a shiver to run down her spine that was definitely not from the cold. “Anything you want to talk about?”

She sighed and leaned her head back against his broad, solid chest. “It’s just this case.”

“The one with the judge?”

“Yeah. I’m glad it’s over, but there may be repercussions for some time. Garrett isn’t going to go down quietly.”

“But it is over, right?”

“Well, the investigation is over. Now there’s the trial. I don’t know when that will be; Carver’s ready, but Garrett’s lawyers keep wrangling and asking for postponements.” Alex sighed. “What Garrett and his people have done to try to discredit Goren and Logan and Barek….it just makes me furious. When Goren got that call about his mother and stormed out of the squad room, I called Carver and then went after him. I was afraid he might actually attack Garrett, as angry as he was. And to tell you the truth…I don’t know how hard I would have tried to prevent it. I couldn’t believe it when he used his anger to play the judge and get him to confess to having sex with Bethany. That must have really cost Goren a lot. If he had come across the investigator who went to see his mother, I think he really would have gone after him.”

Tom nodded, his face against hers as they both stared out into the night.

“How’s Goren now,” he asked.

Alex shrugged. “He says he’s ‘fine’. But I don’t know…he’s not talking to me about it much. We’ve always been able to talk, but lately he’s becoming more and more withdrawn. I mean, on the job he gives a hundred percent, like always. But…we used to talk and lately….not so much. I hope he’s talking to his wife.”

“Well, they seem to have a good marriage; they’ve been together a long time and through a lot. If something is bothering him, I would bet Annie knows all about it.”

“Yeah…in the time I’ve known them, they’ve been very devoted to each other. Did I ever tell you about Annie being attacked a few years ago?”

“No,” he said in surprise. “Attacked how?”

“This crazy guy that came to eat at her church’s soup kitchen stabbed her….two or three times. She was pregnant at the time and lost the baby.”

“Wow, I had no idea.”

“When the captain called us into his office and told Goren what had happened and that Annie was in the hospital, I’ve never seen him so….I don’t know how to describe it….lost, I guess.”

“I can’t even imagine what that was like for him, for them.”

“It was a tough time, but they got through it and seemed even closer. I just hope he’s talking to Annie about all of this and leaning on her.”

Tom smiled at the mental image of the big detective leaning on his much smaller wife. He kissed the side of Alex’s throat and said, “So they went after Goren and Logan and Barek. What about you?”

She shook her head. “Not so far. But the trial is probably a few months away. Who knows what they will dig up on me?”

“Is there anything to dig up,” he asked with a smile.

She realized that she didn’t feel like talking so seriously about the case anymore, reflecting about what they might dig up on her, so she changed things around by saying, “Maybe there is something about sleeping with firefighters that proves I’m incapable of doing my job.”

“Hmmm….” Tom’s hands moved from her waist to the hem of the shirt and slipped underneath, his fingers on her thighs were warm as he squeezed gently. “Then I guess we should give them plenty of ammunition.” His hands moved to cup the bare curve of her buttocks, causing her to gasp.

“Exhibitionist,” she murmured thinking about the fact that they were outside.

“It’s late, everyone is asleep. But we can always move down here….”

Without warning his knees pressed against Alex’s knees from behind, causing them to bend. It was a small space and Tom sat with his back against the wall and his feet touching the balustrade. Alex, her back still to him, was sitting on his lap, her knees bent and her legs underneath her on either side of his thighs. She leaned back against him as he pulled the tee-shirt off of one shoulder and began kissing her exposed skin. Her breath caught in her chest as his hands pulled the hem of the shirt up and his fingers explored her bare legs beginning with her feet, over her calves, across her bent knees, and up her thighs.

“Tom,” she whispered.

One hand moved to tangle in her hair and pull her head back onto his shoulder. Turning her face towards him, he kissed the side of her throat and along her jaw, and then caught her mouth with his. She returned his kiss eagerly, opening her lips and welcoming his tongue as it played along her lips and then explored inside. She gasped as the hand on her thigh moved higher, but didn’t quite touch her in the spot that was now longing to be touched. Instead, as he continued to kiss her, his hand moved gently over her hip and her belly, pausing just under her breast. She moaned and arched, trying to make contact with the hand that was so close. But he grinned against her lips and left his hand resting on her ribs.

Alex turned around to face him, sitting astride his thighs. They stared at one another without touching for a moment. Alex leaned forward and splayed her fingers across his stomach, feeling the muscles beneath her hands. His hands rested on her thighs. She began a slow exploration of his body...moving upward over his taut abdominal muscles, along his pectoral muscles. She felt his breath catch as she ran her fingers through the short, bristly hair that dusted his chest. Tom’s heart thudded beneath her right hand and his chest rose and fell as his breathing deepened. His fingers tightened their grip on her thighs. She leaned forward and lightly ran her tongue over his lips, tugging his lower lip between her teeth and sucking briefly before raining delicate kisses along his jaw line and down his throat.

Tom’s head fell back against the wall and he groaned softly. His fingers tightened even more on her thighs as he urged her towards him. But she stayed in place as her lips moved lower to nuzzle the hair on his chest. His hands moved to tangle in her hair.

“Alex,” he gasped.

She sat up and his hands dropped to his side as he watched her pull the tee-shirt over her head, dropping it to the ground beside them. He gazed at her in admiration for a moment, then his big hands circled her waist, resting lightly on her hips. His hands slid along her ribs, then framed her small breasts. He looked into her eyes for a moment.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.

She braced herself with her hands on the wall on either side of his head and leaned her forehead against his as she tried to catch her breath.

“D…do you have….,” she gasped.

He held her face between his hands and kissed her gently before reaching over to pick up the small packet he had dropped on the ground as he came onto the balcony. Holding it up, Tom grinned at her. She took the package from him and tore it open, pulling out the condom.

Tom looked at her, marveling as he always did at her beauty. Her shoulder-length, light brown hair was in wild disarray around her face, her blond highlights gleaming in the moonlight. Her expressive brown eyes were closed at the moment; her head was tilted back, an expression of wonder on her lovely face. Her arms were next to his face as she leaned her hands against the wall. Unable to move in that position, Tom gripped her thighs and leaned his head back against the wall as Alex made love to him.

They sat wrapped around each other for several minutes. Alex was suddenly aware of the chilly air against their sweat-covered bodies and shivered. Able to find his voice now that his breathing was returning to normal, Tom kissed her cheek and said, “Maybe we better go inside where it’s warm.”

Alex smiled slyly as she stood on slightly trembling legs, “Well, if the judge is spying on me, I really hope he gives me a copy of that tape because that was incredible!” She laughed and took his hand, pulling him into the bedroom.


End chapter 7

:Thud: Ah, soft pillows... What a wonderful chapter.

This chapter references the trial from “In the Wee Small Hours”, as well as the episode “Slither”. Thank you once again to my beta, Spook!

The children were asleep and Annie was in her pajamas—flannel pajamas, to be exact, keeping her warm in the chill of the early November night—when she went down to the basement to find Bobby. He rarely went to bed when she did anymore, unless she asked. But she hated feeling as though she were begging. He also came to bed when they made love because of a fight. That was something that seemed to be happening more and more often. Intellectually she knew that sex was a poor way of resolving conflict. Emotionally, however, she was afraid that without the sex there would be no resolution. So much of the time she felt he was slipping away from her and so she clung to the one form of intimacy they still shared. They were making love more often than they ever had in all the years of their marriage. Even if they weren’t fighting, when Bobby would finally come to bed hours after Annie, she would roll into his arms and whisper, “Make love to me, Babe.” He was always willing and if he wondered why his wife’s always active libido seemed to be in overdrive, he never questioned it. They simply didn’t talk about it, adding it to the growing list of things they didn’t discuss anymore. Annie had stopped asking to see his mother, asking only how she was whenever he came home from a visit. She didn’t ask about Frank at all; she didn’t even know if Bobby had been in contact with him since the night he came to their house. She rarely asked about his work, resigning herself to the new reality that there were portions of Bobby’s life that were separate and distinct from her and the children.

He was sitting on the leather couch, reading, when she came down the stairs. He looked up and smiled at her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders when she sat next to him. He leaned his head towards her and rested his cheek against the top of her head. They sat in silence for a while, Bobby reading and Annie enjoying a moment of closeness. She could almost convince herself that nothing had changed between them.

“Grandpa called today,” Annie said softly.

“How is he?”

“Fine. He says this new housekeeper he hired, Mrs. Gardenhire, has ‘taken over his life’. She’s got him on a strict regimen of diet and exercise,” Annie said, laughing. “She makes him walk every day and prepares nothing but low-fat, heart healthy meals.”

Bobby laughed with her. “Sounds like Grandpa has met his match.”

“Well, he complains about it a lot, but he hasn’t fired her. I think he likes having someone take charge and look after him for a change. Someone he can’t bluster or sweet talk into letting him have his way.”

“Good, I’m glad he’s doing so well.”

“He wanted to talk about Christmas,” she said, hesitantly.

“Christmas? This is your year to work, isn’t it?”

“Yes….but Grandpa really wants the entire family at his house this year. And Susan at work is willing to trade with me, so I would work Thanksgiving and she would work Christmas.” She sat up and turned to face him. “I…I know that it will…disrupt your…our plans for the holidays. But this just seems so important to him and he never asks us to rearrange our plans for him. In fact he never asks us for anything and I….I just…..” She trailed off at his silence.

“Babe, it’s OK,” he told her softly. He cupped her cheek with his hand and searched her face intently. “I love him too. If he wants us there for Christmas, we’ll be there.”

“But…your mother will be expecting you and the kids this year.”

Bobby caressed her cheek with his thumb before leaning forward to kiss her gently. “It’ll be OK,” he repeated. “I’ll take the kids to see her before we go and when we get back. And we’ll spend Thanksgiving with her.”

Annie let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and smiled in relief. He put the book aside, pulled her onto his lap, and kissed her. She clung to him and whispered in his ear, “Let’s go to bed Bobby. Make love to me.”

******************************************************************

Bobby lay awake late into the night; long after he and Annie had made love, long after his sated wife had curled up in his arms and fallen fast asleep. He listened to her even breathing and thought about their exchange earlier in the evening. Grandpa wanted them to come to Connecticut for Christmas and naturally she wanted to go. Why had she been so hesitant about broaching the subject? In fact, the expression in her blue eyes had almost looked like….fear. What was she afraid of? Making him angry?

He sighed. They did seem to argue a lot lately. However, these days they didn’t argue about his mother or his brother or even his reticence to talk about his job. Their arguments were far more mundane, though just as heated as any they ever had about the “big” issues. Nowadays they argued over the proper way to squeeze the toothpaste tube, whose turn it was to do the grocery shopping, who forgot to turn the light off in the laundry room, or the big discussion two days before that had led to Annie stomping up the stairs and slamming the bedroom door closed. The correct way to clean the kitchen and bathroom floors.

Annie was of the “scrubbing on hands and knees” school of thought. She had a large stack of white washcloths that she used for that purpose only, going over a small area at a time, refolding the cloth with each pass until no more dirt showed up on a clean square of cloth, and moving on to another area with a clean cloth. The cloths were then laundered and bleached until they were again spotless and brilliantly white and put away until the next time she cleaned the floors. Bobby, on the other hand, felt a mop was just as effective, especially since his knee injury made kneeling too painful. In all their years of marriage this had never been a problem. Annie simply traded with him each week; he would be in charge of cleaning the upstairs rooms one week while she took the downstairs and the next week they traded. She felt that in this way, she was assured that at least every other week the floors were “really clean”. But suddenly that was not good enough for her. What began as joking jibes about his inability to clean properly had turned serious and escalated until she was so angry she was actually shaking. That was when she went upstairs and locked herself in their bedroom while he and the children looked on in bewilderment.

They had made up. They always made up. Annie apologized for overreacting. One or both of them always apologized. And then Annie would beg, “Make love to me.”

What had happened to the laughing, fearless, self-confident woman he had married? She had approached him that evening like a child afraid of angering a parent with her request. At other times she was prickly and irritable, snapping at him over the most minor things. Was he responsible for the change in her? Probably, he admitted. Since the rift between Annie and his mother, things had changed for them all. He knew he wasn’t as communicative with her as he used to be. Mostly he was trying to avoid arguments by not discussing his mother or his work. However, it wasn’t working. Instead they were arguing about just about everything else in their lives. Annie’s solution was sex. Although it ended the argument, he realized that the conflict was not resolved and would only rear its ugly head again. He didn’t have a better solution, so they seemed to be caught in an endless cycle; arguing, apologizing, making love.

******************************************************************

Carolyn Barek looked around the table as everyone laughed at a joke Mike had told. Mike and Sarah, Bobby and Annie, Tom and Alex, and Carolyn and her date were all seated around the large table at Sal’s Restaurant. The four detectives had met for dinner and drinks. Because the others had brought their significant others, she had decided it was better to bring a date than to show up alone….considering the reputation Goren’s wife had for matchmaking. Carolyn wasn’t in a serious relationship and had no desire to be in one at the moment. She and John were old friends with no romantic feelings for one another, so he had seemed like a safe choice.

It was early December and the trial for Judge Garrett was scheduled to start in less than two weeks. Although the trial itself might bring unexpected stress, it felt as though they could all breathe a sigh of relief now that it was finally scheduled. They had done their jobs, the investigation was finished, and now it was in the capable hands of ADA Ron Carver. That was partly the reason for the dinner date. The other was simply a desire to hang out together in a social atmosphere, away from the bull pen and the cases they were all working on.

Carolyn quietly watched the other three couples, letting her active brain contemplate the personalities and relationships. Her partner had been a surprise to her. She had heard all the rumors about Mike Logan; incorrigible ladies man, hot-tempered cop more than ready to use his fists to subdue a suspect, and of course the stories about him punching a City Councilman and landing in Staten Island for ten years. He had dispelled most of the preconceived ideas she had about him. During their first case together, he had made her nervous by using the threat of violence to get information. Although it wasn’t an approach that she was comfortable with, she had to admit that it was effective, and that Logan knew where to draw the line between an implied threat and actual inappropriate violence.

He had also dispelled the rumors about his romantic conquests…at least if that had been the case in the past it no longer seemed to be an issue now. He had certainly never been inappropriate with her; treating her with the same respect he would any partner, male or female. She had seen him cast glances at attractive women, and there had been more than one of those women who had either openly or subtly flirted with him. But not once in the three months they had been partners had she seen him flirt with any of them. Except for Sarah. When he was around her, he was constantly touching her on the arm, the shoulder, holding her hand. And he flirted outrageously with her, which seemed to please her immensely. Was it possible that the infamous Mike Logan had actually been domesticated by the dark-haired librarian?

The only blip in that picture had been when they discussed Thanksgiving, everyone talking about where they had spent the holiday. She knew that Logan had volunteered to work Thanksgiving. Sarah had spent the day with her family and Carolyn noticed Sarah shoot an uncomfortable glance at him when they were asked if Mike had joined them after work. The answer was no, he had not joined them. Neither had explained why they hadn’t seen one another at all that day and the conversation had moved on.

Goren was a bit of an enigma to Carolyn. She suspected that he was a lot like her; he seemed to be well-read, knew several languages, he had more experience than she did as a profiler but she was just as fascinated with trying to get inside the head of perpetrators, they were both a bit of a loner. Although he and Eames had been partners for years, and made an effective team, she had heard rumors that he had not gelled quite so well with other partners. She herself had worked alone for years before being partnered with Logan. In spite of having some similarities in personality, she thought that Goren probably wasn’t someone who was easy to get to know in a personal way.

Goren and his wife seemed close, but Thanksgiving had also seemed to be an uncomfortable topic for them. When Annie explained that she had been working that day and that Bobby took the children to visit his mother, it seemed normal and uncomplicated. However, just as with Logan and Sarah, Carolyn had noticed Annie glancing anxiously at her husband. Goren’s expression hadn’t changed but she detected a slight twitch just below his right eye, the only indication that this was an emotional issue for the couple.

There were no such undercurrents for Tom and Alex. Carolyn sensed a close and easy relationship between them. There were no furtive, anxious glances between them when discussing Thanksgiving. Tom’s children had spent the day with their mother and he had gone with Alex to her sister’s house. She watched as Tom leaned over to whisper in Alex’s ear, causing her to chuckle softly. They were relaxed with one another and with everyone else at the table, although she did notice Alex glancing at the Gorens with a look of….curiosity? Apprehension? She wasn’t quite sure. But obviously Alex had her own concerns about her partner and his wife.

Carolyn knew Alex the best of all the detectives, having partnered with her temporarily last year when Goren injured his knee. She had been glad for the opportunity to work with her again on the Lunden case. The case was stressful for them all, but there had been a nice rhythm between the two teams. It was interesting to watch the two men, both such alpha males, work together. While there had been occasional friction—they disagreed on whether the judge or his son was responsible for the death of the teenage girl and each had defended his position vigorously, Logan had been a bit jealous of Goren and Eames being the lead detectives in the case—these two very different men had found some common interests and had both come to appreciate the other’s approach to the case. They had worked together well in interrogating Ethan Garrett, and in tricking him to attack Logan so they would have an excuse to arrest him and record him bragging to a cellmate about Tiana Peterson’s death.

Mike had mentioned going with Goren for drinks after work more than once. He also mentioned that Annie and Sarah were becoming close. So all four detectives were becoming friends, it seemed. So much of her career with the NYPD had been spent working alone; this was a new situation for Carolyn, one that she thought she was going to like. The waitress stopped and took drink orders as Logan launched into another story, causing another wave of laughter.

******************************************************************

Annie’s cell phone vibrated in the pocket of her scrub top as she left an exam room and headed to the nurse’s station to see which patient to call to a room next. It had been extremely busy all day and two nurses had called in sick. Already one nurse for the night shift had called in sick and the last she heard the supervisor had not had any luck in finding a replacement. She looked down at the phone and saw “Bobby” on the small screen. Changing directions, she headed into the break room as she answered the phone.

“Hi Babe, I don’t have much time to talk. We are completely swamped here.”

“I just need to ask you a question and then I’ll let you go,” his deep voice replied. “Have you received any calls or had a visit from Nicole Wallace?”

“Nicole,” she said in surprise. “No, why?”

She heard him sigh on the other end. “I think she’s back in New York, and that she killed someone.”

“Oh no! Who did she kill this time?”

“Her mentor; the man who taught her all about killing while they were in Taiwan.”

“You said you think she killed him?”

“He was killed with poison injected as he was leaving the courthouse. The woman who was with him said a blond woman ran away. It certainly sounds like Nicole.”

“Yes, it does,” she said.

“You’re sure you haven’t heard from her?”

Anger shot through her so suddenly it almost frightened her. “What do you mean, ‘am I sure’?” She said coldly. “Do you mean: did I forget which serial killer I spoke to today?”

“Annie…..”

“Or,” she interrupted, “do you mean: did I talk to Nicole Wallace and decide to lie to my husband and to the police, about it?”

“Annie, I didn’t mean….”

“I have to go,” she snapped, interrupting him again. She closed her phone forcefully and dropped it back into her pocket, ignoring the vibrating that immediately signaled another call. Going back to work, she ignored his calls the rest of the day.

Bobby stared at his phone and then rubbed his face wearily as he tried several times to call her back. Finally, he gave up and walked back to his desk to finish the paperwork piled up there. He tried periodically throughout the day to call her, but she didn’t pick up. Later that evening, as he was preparing dinner for the children, she called and tersely told him that she would be working late because the night shift was short-staffed; she didn’t know when she would be home. She hung up before he could try to talk to her about their earlier conversation. It was close to midnight when she finally came home.

“Hi,” he said, uncertain of her mood.

“Hi,” she replied.

“I left a plate of food in the refrigerator, if you’re hungry.” He leaned down and kissed her softly.

“Thank you,” she said, not looking up at him.

He watched her walk into the kitchen and listened for the sound of the refrigerator opening. But instead, Annie returned to the living room.

“You didn’t clean up after dinner,” she said accusingly. He looked at her in confusion.

“Uh….sorry? What are you talking about, Annie? The kids and I cleaned the kitchen.”

“Really? Then why are there dishes piled in there?”

“What?” He moved past her into the kitchen. “Those are clean dishes,” he told her. “I left them in the drainer to dry.”

“Left them for me to put away, you mean.”

“No, I….”

“No? You’ll be up and off to work in the morning. When were you planning to put them away?”

“I don’t…” He looked at her in frustration. “Since when does it bother you to leave dishes in the drainer?”

“Since always!” Bobby rubbed his hand through his hair as her voice rose. “I’m tired of ignoring it! I’m tired of ignoring a lot of things. And I’m tired of doing everything myself!”

With that she turned and stalked indignantly from the room. He watched her go up the stairs and heard the bedroom door close behind her. Bobby sighed and returned to the kitchen and began putting the dishes away. He didn’t know exactly what had just happened. Lately talking to his wife was like maneuvering through a minefield. He never knew just what would set her off. He couldn’t place all the blame on her, though; he was often on edge and irritable as well.

He finished putting the dishes away and turned the lights off before heading upstairs after her. She was in bed and the lights were off, but the curtains were open and the moonlight cast a glow in the room. He could tell she wasn’t asleep, although her eyes were closed. He got ready for bed and stood looking down at her for a moment. Fatigue was etched in her face. She worked long past her shift tonight, and she had told him earlier that it was busy. All those hours on her feet with few, if any, breaks….her feet and back were probably aching.

Annie had pulled her pajamas on and climbed into bed, exhausted and unable to think clearly. Her feet hurt so badly that she wanted to cry and her back ached nearly as much. She didn’t understand why she had been so angry over a silly thing like the dishes drying in the drainer. Bobby was right, it had never bothered her before. She didn’t understand why she was angry so often over such insignificant things. She tried to stop herself, knowing that she was being unreasonable…but she couldn’t seem to help exploding as she had just now.

She heard Bobby’s footsteps coming up the stairs and closed her eyes as the door opened and closed. She heard him moving around the room and then it was silent for a moment. He hadn’t gotten into bed and she resisted the urge to open her eyes and see where he was. Then she felt the foot of the bed dip as he sat down and felt his hands slide under the covers and pull her feet out. Resting them on his lap, his large strong hands began kneading her aching feet. It hurt and felt wonderful all at the same time. But it was the conciliatory nature of the gesture that caused her eyes, still firmly closed, to fill with tears that slid silently down her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands as her silent weeping became audible sobs. Bobby moved to lie down next to her and gathered her in his arms. She buried her face against his chest and clung to him.

“I’m so sorry, Bobby,” she finally whispered.

“It’s OK,” he told her, kissing the top of her head.

“No it isn’t! I don’t know why I snap at you and say such awful things. You didn’t do anything wrong and I just…..I don’t deserve you,” she sobbed.

“Annie….” She reached up and covered his mouth with her hand.

“I don’t,” she insisted. “You deserve someone who won’t bite your head off for no reason.”

He kissed her palm where it rested against his mouth and moved it firmly away.

“I have exactly the person I want right here,” he told her, which caused a fresh round of tears.

He held her until her sobbing subsided and she finally lay quietly in his arms. He thought she had fallen asleep, but she snuggled closer and began to kiss his chest through his tee shirt. And then came the familiar plea.

“Make love to me, Bobby.”

******************************************************************

Author’s Note: The italicized sections in this scene are direct quotes from In the Wee Small Hours and belong to Rene Balcer and his talented writing team.

Bobby watched Eames on the witness stand as Carver questioned her. She was cool and calm, focused on the questions and answering succinctly but thoroughly. She was good at this. The defense attorney got up next and questioned her about the interrogation of Ethan Garrett, when he had implicated his father in Bethany Lunden’s death. She answered assertively when he asked about Bobby’s father leaving him as a child and his attitude towards “imperfect fathers”. The attorney handed her a paper in a plastic evidence bag and asked her to identify it. He frowned slightly with curiosity as the expression on Alex’s face changed and her composure slipped ever so slightly.

“It’s a letter that I wrote to my superior officer five years ago….requesting a new partner.” She did not look in his direction as she added quickly, “But I withdrew my request.”

“Please read the highlighted areas,” the defense attorney said smoothly.

Now she did glance nervously at him as he sat in the gallery, next to Barek. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees as she began to read, looking and sounding close to tears…a phenomenon he had never seen in his tough partner.

“Detective Goren’s erratic and anti-social behavior, his volatile and bizarre interrogation techniques lead me to have serious doubts about his judgment and mental stability,” she read and then added, “I want to explain.”

But the defense attorney had made his point and sat down. Bobby kept his expression neutral, his military training coming in handy at moments like this. But he felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. He had no idea that Eames had felt that way. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise; she wasn’t his first partner to ask for reassignment. Yet it did surprise him. Ron Carver stood and asked for a redirect of the witness.

“Detective Eames,” he said, “please explain why you withdrew your letter.”

“I was used to working with more conventional detectives,” she began. “Detective Goren’s style is definitely unique and an acquired taste. Over time I came to see that his approach is based on a deep understanding of human behavior. I came to appreciate him as an ethical person and an effective police officer.”

Later, in the hallway, Carver reassured Eames that her explanation had mitigated any damage. She faced Bobby sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, Bobby. I should have told you.”

He shook his head. “I am an acquired taste,” he said with a smile. “I’m lucky you withdrew your letter.”

There was no time to dwell on things as the Lunden case took an unexpected turn and required more investigation. In the end, they discovered Goren and Logan had both been wrong. Bobby was convinced Judge Garrett killed the girl; Mike was just as convinced that his son Ethan had killed her. While they both had used…abused…the teenage girl, neither had been responsible for her death. The judge’s wife, thinking to protect her son, had killed Bethany.

It left Bobby emotionally and mentally exhausted. It also left him particularly susceptible to self-doubt. As Christmas approached and he and Annie prepared for the trip to Connecticut, he couldn’t seem to stop replaying the words of Eames’ letter in his head, as well as the hurt and anger that was so often present in Annie’s face and voice. What had working with him cost his partner, he wondered. And what had marrying him cost his wife?

End chapter 8

Ooo! I get to be the first one to comment on this chapter. I don't think I could say it better than I did on ff.net, so I'm just going to copy and paste that same review here.......


Oh my gosh! Where to begin? First off, beautifully written, as always. You have such a grasp of your characters and your tone is always consistent, whether the situation is serious, funny or somewhere in between. Very difficult to do, and you pull it off very well.

LOVED Carolyn's assessment of the couples during the dinner at Sal's. Excellent foreshadowing through her 'profiling' of them.

I think you perfectly captured the feel of the friendship that developed between the 4 detectives during ITWSH (my all-time fave epis, I think, btw). Good job there, as well.

Ending with Bobby doubting himself even more after the trial is just perfect to the slow disentegration you are taking Bobby through.

I must also say that I think I know what's 'wrong' with Annie and it's complicating their marriage and an already tenuous situation.....but I won't tell.....I'll sit back and wait to see if I'm right.

And, will Nicole threaten Bobby's family again? *shivers*

All around brilliantly excellent job!

This chapter again references In the Wee Small Hours, as well as Watch.

Thank you to Judy for stepping in to beta.

Annie looked at Alex, sitting across the table. They were having dinner after their weekly “gym date”, and Alex had found a hot dog place that served vegetarian chili dogs.

“Alex, is there anything wrong,” Annie asked. “You’ve been unusually quiet today. What’s going on?”

Alex took her time chewing and swallowing. She took a drink of her soda before answering.

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure how you were going to react to me, Annie. I half expected you to cancel today.”

“Why would I do that,” she asked in surprise.

“Because of the letter.”

“Letter? What are you talking about?”

“C’mon, Annie…the letter to Deakins that I had to read in court.”

“Alex, I have no idea what you are talking about,” Annie told her.

“Bobby must have told you…and it was reported on the news.”

Annie was very confused now. “Bobby…the news?”

Alex sighed. “The Garrett trial.”

“I haven’t kept up with it,” Annie admitted. “And Bobby hasn’t said anything. Tell me why you thought I wouldn’t want to see you.”

“Garrett’s attorney questioned me about Bobby’s judgment and whether or not I trust it. I said yes. So he pulled out a letter I wrote to the captain not long after Bobby and I were partnered.” She paused and looked at Annie. “He hasn’t said anything?” Annie shook her head and Alex continued. “I asked for another partner. The lawyer made me read part of the letter where I said I questioned Goren’s judgment.”

“Oh,” was all Annie said.

“But I withdrew my request. Carver gave me a chance to explain and I said that his style is an acquired taste, but that I realized how well he understands human behavior…and that I came to appreciate him.”

Alex watched Annie’s face carefully and waited for her to respond.

“Did you and Bobby talk about it,” Annie asked.

“Briefly; I apologized for not telling him about the letter.”

“And what did he say?”

“That he is an acquired taste.”

Annie let out a loud laugh. “Well, I certainly can’t argue with that,” she said with a giggle. “Alex, I don’t know why you think I would be angry about that. You’re the only partner he has had for so long. And I appreciate how well you work with him. I know he isn’t always easy to understand…and you certainly aren’t the first person to ask for a different partner.”

Alex nodded, but continued to frown. “It must have bothered Bobby quite a bit, though, if he didn’t tell you about it.”

“There’s a lot Bobby doesn’t tell me these days,” Annie said without thinking.

The two women sat in uncomfortable silence for several moments. Alex didn’t know what to say to this uncharacteristic insight into her partner’s marriage. Annie was embarrassed. Over the years she had so carefully cultivated Alex’s friendship, while avoiding discussion of any problems she and Bobby might be having. But until recently there hadn’t been any serious problems.

“Annie,” Alex said softly, “is everything OK with you and Bobby?”

Annie’s face had always been expressive, clearly revealing her feelings no matter how hard she tried to hide them. Alex saw the truth in her friend’s face, even as she saw through the obvious lie that she told.

“Oh, everything’s fine, Alex, really. It’s just been hard, you know, with his mother’s breakdown. It’s been a slow process to get her back to a somewhat stable condition. It keeps everyone on edge. But we’re fine…we’re good.”

Great, she thought. Not only am I lying, but I’m blaming everything on his poor, mentally ill mother. Alex knew she was lying, and Annie knew that Alex knew she was lying. But Alex just nodded her head.

“Good. But you know…if you ever need to talk, I’m available.”

Annie blinked back tears. “Thank you, Alex.”

They made small talk as they ate. Alex told Annie that because Tom would have his children for Christmas, she was going over Christmas Eve and would spend the night with them and open presents Christmas morning; later they would join her at her parents’ home for Christmas dinner.

“I’m glad you and Tom are doing so well,” Annie told her. “He’s a wonderful man and you seem happy.”

Alex nodded. “You’re right…he is wonderful and I am happy.”

When they were finished, they parted with a brief hug.

******************************************************************

Mike was pensive while he and Sarah ate pizza and watched a movie in his apartment. He thought about the case he and Barek had just closed, with the murderous cousin tag team. Barek commented that it had all begun with a father bullying his son, who then bullied his smaller cousin, who grew up to manipulate that same cousin into this bizarre game of beating prostitutes to death while he watched. Mike’s reply had been, “You ever wonder why I don’t have kids? That’s why.”

He didn’t know what he had been thinking when he told Sarah that he wanted to meet her daughter. He had made the decision early in his twenties that he would never have children…and with good reason. His mother’s abuse had left him with the conviction that it would be unfair to bring a child into the world when he knew he couldn’t be a good father. Or even a passable father.

But this left him wondering about his relationship with Sarah. She had a daughter and he didn’t want children. Where did that leave them? He should have never asked her out on a second date, once he found out about Jia Li. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking, he concluded. All he could see was Sarah and her dark eyes and that smile that lit up her face. And then he had compounded the difficulty of the situation by telling her that he wanted to meet her daughter…when she had obviously been content to let things continue as they were.

Earlier that evening she told him that after thinking about it, she had decided she wanted him to meet Jia Li. He didn’t know what to say to her. But then he received a reprieve when she said that with Christmas coming, she thought it would be better to wait, that there would be less pressure for him and Jia Li to instantly like one another after the holidays. He agreed, even as he felt like a liar because he knew he could never be a part of her daughter’s life.

“Hey,” Sarah said, bringing him out of his reverie, “you are missing the best part! George Bailey is about to find out just how many friends he has.”

He smiled down at her. “Sorry, Miss Sarah…I’ll pay attention. I promise.”

She laughed up at him and turned her face back towards the TV. Mike spent the rest of the movie watching Sarah watch the movie. When it was over she noticed that he wasn’t watching the TV screen.

“You missed it,” she said accusingly.

“I didn’t miss a thing,” Mike told her with a grin. “I have a surprise for you.”

“A Christmas gift?”

“No, you don’t get that until our date two days before Christmas. This is just….a surprise.”

“Show me, show me,” she said with delight.

“OK,” he told her, getting up from the couch. “Come into the kitchen with me.”

He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, kissing her before turning to lead the way. In the kitchen he stopped in front of a cupboard and opened the door. Sitting on the bottom shelf was an extra large jar of super chunk peanut butter, a jar of dill pickles, and a bag of chocolate chips. Sarah started laughing and turned to throw her arms around Mike’s neck. She pulled him down and kissed him deeply.

“Mike Logan, you are the best!”

He laughed down at her. “I should have bought that peanut butter a long time ago!”

Sarah pulled away and turned back to the cupboard. Taking the jar of peanut butter out, she cradled it against her and smiled up at him.

“I think there are so many uses for peanut butter that I need to explore.”

Mike wrapped his arms around her, the jar pressed between them. Leaning down to kiss her, he backed her out of the kitchen and toward his bedroom.

“I will be more than happy to volunteer for any experiments you have in mind,” he said as he pulled her onto the bed.

******************************************************************

As Christmas neared and preparations for their trip to Connecticut geared up, Annie seemed more relaxed and cheerful than Bobby had seen her for some time. She smiled and laughed more often; she was less snappish and not so prone to become angry over minor irritations….although there were a few outbursts. Bobby found himself looking forward to the next few days with anticipation as he loaded suitcases and presents into the back of the SUV. Finally the children, the dog, and the parents piled in for the long trip to Grandpa’s house.

He couldn’t remember when Annie had been so animated as she kept them all entertained; inventing stories about people in other vehicles (Bobby’s favorite was the minivan carrying surfboards on top headed in the opposite direction, which Annie insisted was carrying disgruntled Santa’s helpers fleeing to Florida for the sun and surf), leading them in rounds of “99 bottles of root beer on the wall”, and playing alphabet license plate games. Three tired, but very excited, children exploded from the SUV and raced to hug Grandpa when they finally arrived.

The next two days were a flurry of activity, as Annie’s aunt and uncle, cousins, and their families all descended on Grandpa’s house. Because they all lived nearby, only Annie’s family spent the night, until Christmas Eve. The women kept the kitchen busy with baking and preparations for Christmas dinner. And they kept the men busy moving tables, collecting chairs, and rearranging furniture. Everyone seemed to have last minute shopping to do, so there were people going in and out almost constantly. Mrs. Gardenhire stopped by to meet Annie and her family, and to check on Grandpa, warning him not to indulge too much in the Christmas goodies. Then she was off to spend the holidays with her daughter’s family.

As Bobby came up behind her to steal a cookie from a batch that had just come out of the oven he wrapped one arm around her waist, laughing softly next to her ear, his breath warm against her cheek. It felt good to hear him laugh, she thought as she leaned back against him. It felt good to laugh.

On Christmas Eve the entire family played flag football, with Grandpa sitting in as scorekeeper and referee. The scorekeeping was a difficult task as some of the youngest children couldn’t remember which trash cans represented their goal posts and were just as likely to make a touchdown for the opposing team as for their own. Annie thought she might actually score a touchdown herself, but Bobby dashed those hopes. Not content to simply grab her flag, he caught her around the waist and lifted her off the ground, kissing her passionately….to the delight and applause of the rest of the family. She insisted she had been fouled, but Bobby explained she had her games mixed up and they were not playing basketball. Grandpa deserted her in her time of need and ruled in Bobby’s favor. In the end, though, no one knew exactly what the score was or who had won….although both sides claimed victory.

Everyone cleaned up and settled down in time for the candlelight service at the small church Grandpa had attended his entire life. When the pastor heard that they would be there, he had asked Annie and the children to participate. Bobby smiled as Phillip and Andrew joined their cousins as shepherds and Ally (protesting she was too old for children’s plays, but secretly enjoying herself) appeared as the angel Gabriel. After the story of the nativity had been played out, Annie joined the children onstage, sitting down on the floor as they settled around her. The lights were lowered as she told the origins of the Christmas carol “Silent Night”. Accompanied by only a guitar played by the pastor, Annie sang the first verse in German, surprising her husband. He smiled in appreciation, knowing she must have learned the words phonetically, because she certainly never understood when he spoke to her in German. She repeated the verse in English and invited everyone to join her as she sang all the verses. Her beautiful voice never wavered, but Bobby detected the glint of tears in her eyes as she sang.

When she and the children joined him in the pew, he put his arm around her shoulders and whispered, “I love you” against her temple. The pastor led the congregation in singing the old familiar Christmas carols, ending with “O Come, All Ye Faithful”. During that last song, they lit the small candles that had been handed to each adult and the lights were turned off. Bobby could see that Annie was on the verge of tears throughout the entire service, even as she sang each song with joy. The beauty of the church, lit only by the multitude of small candles, was overwhelming and she finally gave in to her tears as the last note faded.

Back at Grandpa’s house, they enjoyed cookies and hot mulled cider. Grandpa asked Bobby to read “The Night Before Christmas” to the children. He knew it was tradition for Grandpa to read the poem and he was touched that he had been asked to take over. The children were bedded down in sleeping bags on the floor of the den, just off of the large living room. Grandpa joined them, sleeping on the couch….both to supervise the excited, giggly bunch, and to make sure the adults all had beds. Aunt Jeane and Uncle Tom slept in the living room on the fold-out couch, while the younger adults took the bedrooms.

The children were sternly warned not to keep Grandpa awake and not to venture into the living room in the morning until the adults gave them permission. Once they seemed to be asleep, with only an occasional giggle giving them away, the women set about filling stockings while the men put together various bicycles, scooters, and other riding toys. They all went off to their beds and the old house finally settled into quiet. Alone in the bedroom where she had slept growing up, Bobby and Annie exchanged their traditional Christmas Eve gifts: a silk tie, in stripes of blue and dark gray, for him; a black lace teddy for her.

As he fingered his tie, Bobby said with a grin, “I’ll try mine on if you’ll try yours on.”

“No way,” she exclaimed in a loud whisper. “I don’t trust you…and you know the rules: No sex in Grandpa’s house!”

“Is that Grandpa’s rule or yours,” he asked, pulling her onto his lap.

“Well, I certainly didn’t ask him,” she laughed.

“Then let’s go ask him now,” Bobby said, moving as though he were going to stand up.

“No,” shrieked Annie, realizing too late that the entire household would be able to hear her.

Bobby pulled her onto the bed next to him, laughing. “You know that everyone is going to think we’re doing it now…so we might as well.”

“Nice try, Detective,” she said, planting a kiss on his lips. “But no way!”

They settled under the covers, arms wrapped around one another, Bobby’s deep chuckle still rumbling in his chest against her cheek. It was still dark outside when she awoke in the morning. She could hear whispers downstairs that were becoming progressively louder. She guessed that the children were trying to talk Grandpa into letting them go into the living room and see what was in their stockings. He wouldn’t be able to hold out against them for long, she thought with a sigh. She tried to slip from the bed without waking Bobby, but he sleepily reached for her and pulled her back into bed.

“I’m going to go downstairs and start the coffee,” she whispered. Dropping a kiss on his cheek she said, “You can stay here a little longer.”

He smiled, his eyes still shut, and pulled her to him for a kiss. He didn’t try to stop her this time as she slid from the bed. Wrapping herself in her bathrobe and slipping on her furry slippers, she quietly made her way downstairs to the kitchen. By the time the coffee was ready, the adults were all awake and the children had exercised all the patience they had. They were finally allowed to stampede into the living room and find their stockings.

Gift-opening was a loud and boisterous affair, between the adults exclaiming how much they loved what they received, and the children shrieking the same information. It took most of the morning and Aunt Jeane served warm cinnamon rolls she had prepared the day before for breakfast. Once the gifts were all opened, the wrappings were stuffed into large trash bags to be taken outside. Everyone then went off to get dressed…and try on new clothes.

There was a formal Christmas dinner. The adults sat around the dining table, while smaller tables had been brought in for the children. The table was laden with an enormous amount of food; turkey and a rib roast, bread dressing, several kinds of potatoes, yams, three kinds of vegetables, gravy, dinner rolls. And for dessert there were pumpkin, chocolate, coconut pies, cheesecake, cookies, Christmas candy. There would be no football game that day, as everyone was too full and too tired from the early start to the day.

Late in the afternoon, parents began loading suitcases, presents, and children into their cars. Annie and Bobby, planning to stay another night, kissed and hugged everyone goodbye and retreated to the now quiet house with Grandpa. Annie fell asleep on the couch, her head on Bobby’s lap. Grandpa went to his bedroom to lie down and the children went outside to play with Sandy. Bobby sat with a book in front of him, but mostly he watched his wife’s peaceful face. He had always envied her ability to sleep anywhere, almost anytime…and the obvious joy she took in napping. She slept for an hour, waking up feeling refreshed.

They had leftovers for supper that night, then settled in the living room to play some of the new board games the children had received for Christmas. Ally was curled against her father’s side, wearing new pajamas and wrapped in a quilt she had pulled from the back of the couch. She fingered the material and ran her fingers over the designs in each square.

“Mom, who made this quilt,” she asked.

Annie looked at the old quilt fondly and smiled. “My grandmother made it…your great-grandmother.”

“What about that one,” Phillip asked, pointing to a quilt lying over the back of the rocking chair.

“My mother made that one,” Annie told them.

“Which one did you make,” Andrew asked.

“Well…in here, I crocheted that afghan over there,” she said, pointing to a chair.

“What about quilts,” Ally asked.

“Actually, I’ve only made one quilt, the one on my bed. My mother helped me. It’s a nine patch quilt because it’s an easy pattern for beginners to learn.”

“Oh that’s a pretty one,” Ally exclaimed.

Bobby watched the thoughtful, faraway look on Annie’s face. “Why haven’t you made any other quilts,” he asked. “You sew and you crochet…why not quilts?”

“I don’t know, really,” she answered slowly. “My mother learned to quilt from Grandma after she and my father were married. When I was eleven, I wanted to learn so she chose the pattern and let me choose the material from her ‘stash’. We worked on it for months.”

Bobby made the connection. Annie was eleven when she and her mother made the quilt. She was eleven when her parents died in a car accident. It must have happened soon after they finished the quilt….and Annie had never made another one.

“What’s a stash,” Andrew asked.

Annie smiled and Grandpa chuckled. “That’s what your great-grandma called the material she collected to make quilts,” he told them. “She was always looking for new colors and patterns, and when she found a good sale she would buy a bunch of material. She always said a quilter’s stash was her most prized possession, only to be shared with very special people. And she shared with Annie’s mama when she taught her to quilt. So when she passed away, I gave her stash to Alexandra. And she went on to make some beautiful quilts.”

“How come your mother’s mother didn’t teach her to quilt,” Ally asked.

“I guess she didn’t know how,” Annie said. “I don’t know, really…I never met my mother’s parents.”

“But they’re your Grandma and Grandpa! Why didn’t you ever meet them,” Phillip asked.

“Well,” Annie took a deep breath and glanced at Grandpa. “I guess….I guess they didn’t approve of my mother marrying my father and they refused to see her anymore. As far as I know, she never saw them again. And I never met them.”

“Where did they live,” Ally asked.

“In San Francisco.”

“How did your mom and dad meet?”

Grandpa answered this one. “Alexandra and Sam met when they were both going to college in New York. Sammy fell in love at first sight. Alexandra was such a pretty little thing; your mama looks a lot like her. She was a sweet girl and she was so good to my Sammy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people as much in love as those two. Well…except for your Grandma and me, and your Mama and Daddy there.” Grandpa winked at Ally, causing her to giggle.

“I think it was mean for your mother’s Mom and Dad to not see her anymore,” Andrew said, moving to sit next to Annie. “Why didn’t they like your Dad?”

“I don’t know,” Annie told him, kissing the top of his head.

“Alexandra’s family was important in San Francisco…had a lot of money,” Grandpa said. “They just thought she could do better than a postman’s son. They wanted better for her…I can’t fault them there. We all want the best for our kids. I don’t think they really meant to never see her again. They just thought if they let her know how serious they were, she would break up with Sam and move back to California. But Alexandra had a stubborn streak a mile wide…and she really did love Sam. After they got married, I think everybody’s pride kept them apart…their pride and Alexandra’s pride. The years went by and then they had Annie.” Grandpa smiled at Annie wistfully. “After you were born, we tried to get Alexandra to call her folks, or at least send a birth announcement. But she wouldn’t do it. There were some things that girl just wouldn’t budge on.”

“Well, she loved you and Grandma. I remember that.”

Grandpa nodded. “Yes, she did. She was like a daughter to us.”

“And so Grandma taught her to quilt?” Ally was caught up in the romance of the story about the grandmother for whom she was named.

Grandpa nodded. “Those two spent hours together going over patterns, choosing material, and sewing squares. Every time they came to visit, the girls would disappear into the sewing room.”

“I remember,” Annie said, laughing. “And when Mom taught me to make that quilt, she let me go through her stash and pick out material. It was quite an honor to be granted access to her precious stash.”

“Mom…let’s make a quilt!” Ally looked at her mother with excitement.

“I don’t know if I even remember how to do it,” Annie said. “But if you want to, I’m sure I can find a book on it. And we can go shopping for material.”

“Well, Honey, you might not need to go shopping. I have your mother’s and grandmother’s stash,” Grandpa told her.

“You do….after all these years?! Why didn’t you give it to Aunt Jeane?”

“Well, I tried. But she just took a few pieces and gave the rest back to me. You know, she isn’t much of a quilter anyway. And she said that stash was so important to your Grandma and your mother, that you should have it. She knew how close those two were, how much it meant to Alexandra to have us when her own parents stopped talking to her…she just thought it should go to you.”

“I…I didn’t know,” Annie said.

“Well, I asked you once if you wanted to go through it and make another quilt and you told me no. So I just put it away and kept it in case you ever changed your mind.”

“I don’t remember that,” Annie said thoughtfully.

“Oooh…can we see,” Ally asked eagerly.

“Sure you can,” Grandpa told her with a smile. “Bobby, there’s a plastic storage container in the back of my closet that says ‘Stash’ on it. Would you bring it down here?”

“Of course,” Bobby said, dropping a kiss on top of Ally’s head before getting up. He found the box and brought it to the living room, setting it on the floor in front of Annie. He sat down and watched Annie sit on the floor and open the box like it contained precious jewels. Ally and the boys eagerly joined her as she carefully pulled out neatly folded squares of material. She also found some old books on quilting. Phillip and Andrew lost interest quickly and asked to watch TV in the den.

“OK,” Bobby told them. “But just for a little while. You guys need to go to bed soon.”

He watched Annie’s face as she gingerly pulled out the pieces of cloth, flipped through the pages of the books, ran her fingers gently over the handwritten notes in the margins. He realized he was seeing a side of her that she rarely showed to anyone, not even to him. This revelation surprised him because her emotions had always been so easy to read. But he had never seen the sad, frightened, little girl whose parents had just died suddenly. Left alone with a strange social worker while they contacted her grandfather, waiting for him to come and get her, knowing that she would never see her parents again…she must have been terrified. Grandpa’s face as he watched her also told the story…the story Annie had never told him herself. He could see the heartbroken eleven-year-old Annie running and throwing herself into her grandfather’s comforting embrace. He could see Grandpa, pushing aside his own grief at the death of his son and daughter-in-law to comfort his granddaughter and help her through an impossibly difficult time.

Ally picked out some of the material for the quilt she wanted to make and then Bobby told her that it was time for bed, sending her to tell the boys as well. Annie seemed not to even notice as the children kissed her goodnight and Grandpa did the same. She nodded absentmindedly when Bobby told her he was going to make sure the children were settled in their beds. She was still sitting on the floor, looking at her mother’s “stash” when he came back downstairs.

Bobby sat in the chair behind her and she leaned back against his legs as he pulled the scrunchie from her hair and loosened her braid, running his fingers through her hair and massaging her scalp. He chuckled softly as he felt her relax under his fingers, thinking that if she were a cat she would be stretching and purring. He leaned down and softly kissed her temple.

“You know,” he began, “you almost never talk about your parents.”

“Mmmm….,” she murmured, still reveling in the massage he was giving. “I don’t? They’ve been gone so long….I suppose I just don’t think about them all that much.”

“Have you ever thought about contacting your mother’s family?”

“No, not really,” she said. “When I was younger, I guess I thought about it. In high school and college, sometimes I would buy the San Francisco papers and look through them for any mention of them. Back then I thought about maybe calling them or sending them a letter. I knew that if I wanted to contact them, Grandpa would help me find them.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She laid her head back on his knees and closed her eyes. “What would I say? ‘Hi, I’m the daughter of the daughter you never wanted to see? And the daughter of the man you thought wasn’t good enough for her?’ Besides, I was afraid that if I did meet them they might say something bad about my mother or my father…or my grandfather. I couldn’t stand the thought of that. And I was also afraid that they would think I just wanted their money…I would probably think that if a granddaughter or niece I had never seen suddenly showed up on my doorstep. It just seemed easiest to let it go.”

He ran his fingers along her jaw line. “If you ever change your mind,” he said softly, “I’ll help you.”

Without opening her eyes, she smiled and reached for his hand. “Thank you, Babe.” Lifting her head, she went back to looking through the box.

“I was wrong, you know,” Bobby told her.

“Wrong about what?”

“I thought this thing with my mother was so hard on you because it was the first time in your life that you felt rejected by anyone. When you talk about your childhood, you make it sound idyllic.” She didn’t answer, waiting for him to continue. “But the truth is that you did feel abandoned when you were eleven and your parents left you….even though you knew it wasn’t their choice. And now another mother has abandoned you.”

Tears slid silently down her cheeks. “And I never realized before that you were the same age when your father left. I guess we both have abandonment issues.”

“Except my father wasn’t gone for good. He was around for another twenty three years. So it wasn’t really the same.”

“I bet when you were eleven, it felt like he was leaving for good and that you would never see him again.”

“Yeah, I guess it did. Hey,” he said, leaning down and wrapping his arms around her, his cheek against hers. “You did it again. You turned the conversation around from the loss of your parents and how it made you feel, to how I felt when my father left.”

She smiled and leaned her head back against his shoulder. “I’m tired, Babe. Let’s go to bed.”

He kissed her cheek and helped her put everything back in the box. Once they were in bed, Annie wrapped her arms around him and rested her cheek against his chest.

“I had dinner with Alex before we left. She told me about the letter she had to read in court. She was a little concerned that it must have upset you because you didn’t tell me about it.” She paused and then asked, “Why didn’t you tell me, Bobby?”

He sighed and ran his fingers through her hair. “It was an old letter, and she withdrew it. Seemed kind of moot now.”

“It’s not moot if it bothers you.”

“I just wonder sometimes….You know, a few years ago Eames was offered a place on the mayor’s task force. She told me then that she didn’t take this job to get noticed. But she has great leadership qualities. If it weren’t for me, maybe she would be leading her own squad…maybe she would be a captain. What has she given up to stay my partner…to babysit me?”

“But maybe being a captain isn’t what’s important to her. It seems to me that she likes solving crimes…and that she likes having ‘closed’ written next to her name on so many cases. And I don’t think she feels she is babysitting you. She’s the senior partner, but you two are partners and you work well together.” She kissed his chest through his shirt. “Alex Eames isn’t exactly a shrinking violet. I think if she wants something more from her career, she won’t be afraid to tell you.”

“And what have you given up to be married to me,” he asked softly.

“Me,” she asked with surprise. Then she smiled and said with a giggle, “Let’s see…I gave up loneliness, childlessness, celibacy….”

“You didn’t seem so lonely and miserable when I met you.”

“No, I wasn’t miserable. I had good friends and a family that loved me.” She leaned her head back to look at him. “But I didn’t have this…I always imagined what it would be like to be in love, but I never imagined it could be this incredible.”

He cupped her face with his hand and whispered, “Make love to me Baby.”

She smiled back and rolled on top of him, dropping soft kisses on his face and neck. Gently, slowly, and more quietly than she would have believed possible, Annie made love to the love of her life there in the beautiful old house built by her great-grandfather, the house her grandfather had lived in his entire life, in the bedroom surrounded by all the mementoes of growing up, in her childhood bed, under the quilt made by herself and her mother from fabrics left to them by her grandmother.

End chapter 9