You rock usa!!! gl e1!!!!

I hereby throw my hat in the ring lol

i disagree.

i believe that it is indeed the SPORK that is mightier than the FAN....

my reasons are as follows -

1. if we are talking "fan" as in blows air futilely around the room, than it is simple...you shove the spork INTO the blades and assuming that you are using only the highest quality stainless steel the spork triumphs when the blades are effectively STOPPED with the introduction of a foreign object.

2. if we are talking "fan" as in a person who obsessively follows a person and or show regardless of personal gain or health then it is equally as simple...stab the rabid fan with the spork and run away.


either way.... i win.

finally..lol..being last counts for something!!! lol.

I am so proud of myself! I got the two popcicle jokes!!
I guess that makes me the queen
And everyone knows the rule, the queen gets the win!
But...I have a question for all who believe they are worthy enough to be King or queen.
What kind of language do billboards use?

You know, you're going to lead to me having an irrational fear of being stabbed (or is it scooped?) with a spork now.

Ohh... irrational fears! Fun!

That should be the new slogan of the American Psychiatric Assocation. Perhaps as a tagline for DSM-IV: The Game.

that sounds frightning!*bites nails*

That's not healthy. We should get you some tacos instead. Or jerk chicken.

scooo..bed? stooped? how about stabooped?

actually i think it would be more akin to a melon baller

That sounds even more unpleasant...as if that was possible. Okay...I'm going to bed before my madness spirals further out of control.

But before I do, one last win. Nailed it!

And I end the day with my bedtime snack... a Popsicle. Thus, another joke:

What did the dollar bill name his daughter?

trying this again...lol. I win?!?!?!?

obviously he doesn't expect her to live up to her full potential....

she should learn not to "sell" herself short like that

if i were her i would "change" it.

....thats all i got for now

think I missed it! lol

Your crazy little jokes crack me up.

haha! I got it !

I'm glad I can bring a smile with the punny Popsicle jokes.

oh COME ON! not even a chuckle for mine?

i'm giving you GOLD here people!

::snicker:: It was good, but Gus-good... the kind of good that gets overshadowed by others waving and flailing, even if it isn't nearly as wonderful.

I've gone through a whole box of popsicles in one night before...many times

LOL, another reason why I buy the Popsicles instead of Fudgesicles... I can eat a whole box of Fudgesicles... but Popsicles will last me quite a few weeks. Though I am feeling the need for a second late night snack...

I put a hurtin' on Popsicles. Especially in the summer, there's nothing better than taking a late night walk with friends while eating a Popsicle.

In remembrance of late summer nights, eating popsicles... another joke (a rather lame, but not clearly apparent one at that):

What do you call a flying turtle?

Oh, so very nice.

I think I'll claim an early-morning win since I missed out on all the late-night banter (damn cold and cold medicines... ). Alas, I have no jokes at the moment. My future as a comedy writer seems highly in doubt.

They may have knocked you out last night, but they clearly didn't keep you sleeping in. Sheesh, before 7am on a weekend?

Well, now, since I have woken up at a nice, decent time for the weekend, I will take the win.

(Yes, I know some people have the willpower to get up early and go to church... some days I regret that I don't, but most I'm happy for the extra sleep.)

You will take no such thing!

Long live those who live in a drastically different timezone!

I will have to slap you as a frenchman would slap a piece of ugly cheese...

viciously and repeatedly, with no regard for human decency.

ohhhk...
So with that..I win!

Hrm...

I love lazy Sundays.

Don't be lazy. Let's get fit. How about . . . a line dance? Work it, ladies!

Meh, I already worked out four days this week. I need a break

[ETA] Those dancing pineapples make me happy.

Being lazy is fun!
But those pineapples are awful tempting..
dont...be....tempted..to....dance...by...the...dancing....pineapple...
There needs to be a pineapple smiley face
Ohh! I went to california dreamin last night..and the logo looks like a pineapple..but its not..

Couldnt find the logo that was on the sign...but imagine the palm tree all green!!

How about a lazy Sunday morning joke?


Where does he catcher sit for dinner?

HAH! Very nice.

What do you call a cow that twiches?

Oh! Cow jokes! I know some of those (not from Popsicle sticks)... You may have heard these before...


What do you call a cow with only two legs?


What do you call a cow with no legs?


What do you call a cow who just gave birth?


There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake struck. All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing. The farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down like the rest of the herd. The bull replied:

Those jokes are to make up for the fact that the last Popsicle I had had a ::gasp:: *REPEAT* joke... from another Popsicle in the *same* box! The horror of it all!

This was my favorite joke that's appeared in this thread, I think. I'm glad I wasn't sipping my hot tea at the time, or I woulda been irked.

My joke of the day:

There were two viruses that were infecting a horse. They were flowing through one of the equine's capillaries, heading for a spot they knew would be ripe for multiplying. However, as they neared the spot, they found themselves faced with a choice: keep flowing toward the spot all their friends had told them about, or follow a new capillary to a previously-uncharted area in the horse's flank. One virus decided to risk it, while the other did not. The one who took the previously-traveled path found a paradise for viruses and lived happily. The other? He floated into an area that had just been inocculated with a new drug. It was curtains for him!

The moral of the story is....

Nice joke... I can't really take credit for the bulls one... I just found it online.

But another favorite joke:


What does an insomniactic, dyslexic, agnostic do?


And a favorite camp joke:

What's brown and sticky?

wow you guys were having too much fun without me...but while you were all trading witty stick jokes i was busy watching the second season. This time ...on my TV! WOOT! with commentary even. I laughed when they explained Winky Cutto.


but just to be part of the "in" crowd i will submit, for your laughing pleasure, my favorite stupid joke of all time -

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino?

Oh, no, you didn't! I almost shared that very joke when I got up this morning. It's one I share with all my friends!

Now, just to add another that I remember to this day my 9th-grade civics teacher telling me, I found a version online to share with y'all....


There was a snake called Nate. His purpose in life was to stay in the desert and guard a lever. This lever was no ordinary lever. It was the lever that, if moved, would destroy the world. Nate took his job very seriously. He let nothing get close to the lever.

One day, off in the distance, he saw a cloud of dust. He kept his eye on it, because, being a good lever watchman, he was remaining vigilant. The dust cloud continued to move closer to the lever. Nate soon saw that it was a huge boulder and it was heading straight for the lever!

Nate thought about what he could do to save the world. He decided if he could get in front of the boulder he could deflect it and it would miss the lever. Nate slithered quickly to intersect the boulder. The boulder ran over Nate, but it was, in fact, deflected.

History would remember Nate, forever concluding...

Since we're on a roll with the jokes...


Joe was hired at the Tickle-Me-Elmo factory. Just a couple of hours into his very first day of work, another worker stopped in the the manager's office.

"Sir, we have a problem with the new worker, Joe. He's killing us holding up the line."

The manager went down to see what was wrong. When she saw the large pile of Elmos stacked up at Joe's station, stopping the otherwise industrious production line.

The manager stood there in disbelief as she watched Joe cut out a scrap of red fur fabric, wrap it around two marbles, and carefully sew it between an Elmo's legs. Once finished with one Elmo, he sent it on its way down the conveyor belt and repeated this process with the next Elmo.

Flabbergasted, she approached Joe and asked,

I need to get away from this thread for awhile -- I'm sick, and laughing too much gives me a horrible coughing fit. But that joke was so worth the cough.