Michael Westen will be answering a new round of "Ask a Spy" questions when Burn Notice returns this summer, giving you another chance to learn from one of the best.

Simply reply to this post with your questions, and the official site this summer to see if yours was selected!

There are so many scary drivers on the freeways in my city. I have always wondered how I would get away and avoid gunfire if, God forbid, someone prone to road rage decided to go after me.

How can a brunette get a blondes job as a side kick agent?

My sibling is always short of cash. How can I stop giving him my hard-earned dollars without having him starve to death?

My fiancee's mom hates me, everytime I go to my fiancee's place, her mom tends to drop in unannounced, thus making us very unconfortable. Is there anyway we can make her stop?

You've mentioned that duct tape will solve just about any kind of handywork spy problem. I've found it doesn't do so well with "wet" work, though. For instance, if you're skin diving and the bad guy slices the breathing tube on your oxygen tank, what would you use to fix it? (I really just need to know how to repair a leaky garden hose... )

How can I get a hostile source or witness to talk short of torture? (I'm a reporter).

How can I find out if my boyfriend is cheating on me?


Do blondes really have more fun?

Dear Mr. Westen,

My 17 year old son will be graduating high school soon. I would like for him to continue his education in college. He would like to enlist in the Marine Corps. Any Advice?

Regards,
Worried Mom

Michael,

A few Burning questions:

Is there a mechanism to become "UnBurned?" Via change in politics or retirements or "redemption?"

Do spies have any real friends? And, how do you know? Or does everyone become a potential "mark," "asset" or "adversary?"

Can a spy trust enough to fall in love?

What is your opinion of the hoopla surrounding "close combat/gross motor movement" theory of fight survival?

Hey Michael, i've got an urgent question! i constantly have guys staring at me with little to no shame and i absolutely HATE it! (its creepy when guys that are old enough to be my dad stare at me and even try to make moves especially seeing as how im not even old enough to date!) Do you have any good lines to turn them off? i always give them a fake name which is fun but i need some good insults to keep them away. can you help? Thanks, Pheobe (and no that is not my real name either)

how do you get your enemies to like you in a private way with out the public and toher classmates knowing it lol ?? it's important plz save my life plz thanx

More and more businesses and corporations are "spying" on their employees. I've personally seen different techniques in action - from sorting through emails and messaging systems to placing hidden cameras near cubicles. How do you counteract that?

Hey Mikey, you got some gov't clearances, right? Soooo are their really Aliens??? Not the international border invaders but the real things?

Can you please provide the make and model of the wristwatch you use on the show? It appears to be a dive watch, but I can't make out the manufacturer.

Thank you.

How can I tell if my boyfriend is cheating on me?

How can I follow him without him noticing?

What are some easy defensive moves for a woman when someone grabs her from behind?

How can I steal my parents car at night without them noticing?

This is a question that I hope I will never need to use the answere, but who knows, right? Here goes, What would you suggest I do if I have been traviling the jungle all day, I was seperated from my guide when he "mysteriously" dissapered, my machete has gone dull and I'm down to minimum supplies and I stumble into a cannibal tribe where I am quickly surrounded on three sides with the jungle behind me and all I have are minimum supplies, one remaining first aid kit, and a dull machete. How do I escape?

Walt

Location, not important.

What is the quickest way obtain the key to a cipher? In my experience a good cipher is harder than even the toughest commercial ecryption methods available, which I would brag I have been known to crack in under five minutes. Yet when face with old school methods it seems I'm the one being cracked, without a key it can take me days to figure out messages. So how would you rip on a ciph?

Or how would you simply go about cracking a cipher in general, key or not...

hi,
can you help me?

I like this guy, but I can't tell if he likes me or not. we used to talk, but then we just kind of stopped. what should I do? and how can i get his attention-make him notice me?

hey i got special skills from the military and all i could get a job as was a security guard at a outlet store any recommendations

I live in Miami and was wondering how I could get a spot as an extra in an episode(s) of Burn Notice.

Hey mike I have always wondered about this...

How do you succeed in a fight of 2 or more people?

if you get a chance...

thanks,
me

I'm a Realtor and on my own with strange people a lot. I take several precautions, but what do you suggest a female carry in her purse if she's on her own a lot with strange people?

Hey Mike, here's one for you: how can I tell if I'm under surveillance by someone? And if so how can I get them off my back?

Hey Mike,

How do I deal with a noisy upstairs neighbor? She practices yoga at 3 in the morning and has sex with her new boyfriend at all hours of the day or night. She has no job but I do, so I can't even synchronize my schedule with hers.

Be broker than he is and smack him on the head with some regularity.

What are the things you carry as a spy to help you out? weather it is in your pockets at all times, in your car, or aroiund your house

Michael,

My ex dumped me a year ago, and she's been obsessed ever since. I've changed my email, my passwords, my phone number... I've even moved out of the state. But one of my friends is leaking information to her about where I am and how to get in touch with me, but I have no idea WHICH friend it is. How would you suggest I get her off my back once and for all?

Thanks,
Mike

Michael, I know for you getting away with crime is easy and you do it for a good cause, but whenever i need to take care of some business im always paraniod that i will go to jial or get into worse trouble then that. Paranoia may keep me alive but it sometime's keeps me from doing what i have to. For example: I am being disrespected and i know the only way to get respect is to do something big that people will remember, but i don't want to draw to much attention how can i get some people off my back without anyone finding out that doesn't need to know.

Michael, I know for you getting away with crime is easy and you do it for a good cause, but whenever i need to take care of some business im always paraniod that i will go to jial or get into worse trouble then that. Paranoia may keep me alive but it sometime's keeps me from doing what i have to. For example: I am being disrespected and i know the only way to get respect is to do something big that people will remember, but i don't want to draw to much attention.

How can i get some people off my back without anyone finding out that doesn't need to know?

QUESTION: My husband works at a "company" where you need a clearance just to drive into the parking lot. I think he is having an affair with someone he works with...how do I find out? There are several unfamiliar phone numbers on the cell phone bill (I've tried "reverse look-up", they are unlisted) and he suddenly has mandatory "meetings" every night. Please help.

how do I outrun the cops ?

Bribe him or her is always a good bet. Don't really act like it's a bribe but more of a payment for cooperation. if that doesn't work be sure that person knows that the information will remain confidential if asked. But if the information can't be bought cheap or given freely then make him/her feel like if he/she doesn't tell it would be less convientent to him/her. anotherwords minipulate that person to tell you or he/she might be less better off. but if you cant minipulate then rough him up a little or you could try useing an attractive girl to with draw information if he is weak. If it's a girl it would be easy to scare it out of her, especially if she cares about losing her looks.

Most of the time if you feel like you are under surveillance by and person then you usually are. To be sure just have some friends follow and watch you and the area you feel you are being watched and have him check for anything suspicous while you do something casual or normal. if you have an idea as to why your being watched then do what it is you think they are looking for then wiat for them to come from hiding or watch for a reaction or phone call that looks suspicious from someone and check it out. they also may tell someone what they think they saw which will reveal themselves. usually when someone is cuaght spying or surveiling someone they will usually quit especially if they don't find anything. but if you find out who they are without them knowing then get some back up. and send them a message not to f#%@ with you if you know what i mean. or of couse get some dirt on them or fake it so someone bigger then their organization or whatever it is they are doing will take them out for you.

Whats the best way to, um, lie, or not get caught during a lie detector test. Ya know, they ask some personal questions that I don't want people to know about.

Hello Sir- You have taught us how to tell if someone has been in your home - but what is the best way to tell if someone has been in your car? and on the same note besides the annoying/non-reliable siren what is the best deterent of someone breaking into your car? besides moving to a better neighborhood.
Thanks, Peace

What is the best gun for a spy to carry concealed and where should he keep it if the spy lives in a hot climate?

What's the best way for a woman to talk her way out of a speeding ticket? either with the officer or in court?

Q: If you could do only one which would it be: When you know you have a Burn Notice and your being observed, is it better do to the work of those that are observing you to develop their trust, or is it better to keep them guessing on your next move in reversing a burn?

M8825

When he says,"Hi, I'm Bruce Campbell. Whats your name?"
Say, "I'm Jail.... Jail Bait. Nice to meet you Bruce. MY Dads a cop. Whats your dad do?"

If he is just staring, put on an Irish accent, (see Burn Notice Pilot) and use one of the following:
"Wanker."
"Pervert."
Or the Classic....
"Wank off, you Pervert!"

Don't be afraid to punch the guy. No guy is gonna tell a cop he got beat up by a girl.

Very insightful. But Misguided.
My experience is that when you do their job for them they just get lazy. They expect you to do ALL their missions for them. And. And. And. They will not back off. They will not support your missions. And they will not reinstate you.
Trust is an illusion. Remember Episode 1. When you are Burned, they either want you out of the business, or are planning to use you for a mission. How an agent handles betrayal determines the type of mission he can be sent on.
Sometimes they just want to get you good and pissed off before unleashing you on an unsuspecting target.

Before you get in the water, put a flexible stainless steel hose over your breathing tube. See Michael's Spy Manual, Field Modifications To Diving Apparatus. Also keep a spare diving mask in a pouch on your hip. The first thing your opponent will go for is your mask.

you are SO screwed.

You will never get any peace unless you move far far away. And don't give her your new address. Or phone number.

If that is not an option, try forgetting about Mother's Day one time. When she gives you a hard time use this line, "My Mom respects my privacy."

Most drastic measure..... Hang S&M posters throughout the house. Man Dominating Woman. Have the Fiance in a black bikini and wearing kneepads. And REALLY Boss her around.

Phase II. Get His and Hers leather outfits. Place them on mannequins in the Bedroom. Fill the bedroom with mirrors. Make it kinky. Dungeonesque.

Phase III. Have the outfits on when she comes over and have the Fiance feed you grapes while kneeling on the floor.

The struggle for dominance against a Mother In Law will never end. It was just as true for the Neanderthal as it is for us today. Any accomodation will only encourage her. Any repression of your need to be a man will harm your relationship with your spouse. You must maintain your psychological superiority. She is evil and must be stopped.

As long as she has your SSN she can always find you. All it takes is Lexis Nexis.

Tell her you want to get back together. You know, the Bruce Campbell approach. You miss her, think about her all the time, wish you never broke up, really want her back. Then when she shows up at your door tell her you changed your mind.

Thats pretty mean isn't it? Did you tell her you prefer men? Didn't work, huh?
You have a new girlfriend? You caught AIDS? Still wouldn't give up.

It is illegal to fake your own death. But you can tell her you have to go into the hospital for a while. Cancer. Testicular Cancer. And they may have to, you know....

If you have a really good friend in her town have him go over and visit and be real sympathetic. I just heard... I can't imagine.... I wouldn't know what to do... I think staying in contact will just remind him of how great things were with you and make it worse for him.

If he is a REAL Buddy he will sleep with her a few times and break her fixation. You know, the Bruce Campbell approach.

Where does she live?

How can I get out of taking a test, like, a final exam?

I think my neighbor is running a brothel (or possibly other illegal activities) from her home in my nice suburban neighborhood. Several women arrive in a van every day early followed by a string of cars with men who get out and then leave in an hour or two looking a little more "askew" than they entered. My friend says the cops won't do anything without some evidence. What should I do?