FORBIDDEN DONUTS

Inspired by a discussion at the Amorous Intent Yahoo Group and with apologies to the writers of THE SIMPSONS.

A glowing Alex Eames entered the small bakery near her house. It was early enough that the morning crowd had yet to make its appearance and the smells of fresh bread, rolls, and other delights were at their peak. Alex smiled as she watched a bakery worker fill the display cases with glistening donuts.

Bobby Goren moved quickly up the subway stairs. Rising a few minutes early, he had to admit, had its advantages. He’d actually been able to shave completely that morning, as well as enjoy a long and stimulating shower. Even his subway ride was more pleasant than usual. As he arrived outside One Police Plaza, a warm, wonderful smell reached him, and he turned to see a large cart boasting a wide variety of pastries, including several tempting variations of donuts. He smiled as he reached for his wallet.

Elizabeth Rodgers smiled contentedly as she entered the elevator. A rich scent wafted through the small space, and the other passengers looked enviously at the white box the M.E. carried. “Damn,” one woman said. “There goes my diet.” Rodgers struggled to suppress her smile as the elevator doors opened on the eleventh floor.”

Danny Ross attempted to hurry his sons through the grocery store. Both had suddenly remembered they needed to bring something to a school function just after they entered their father’s car that morning. From the number of other parents and children with equally harried and frustrated expressions, Ross guessed that other students had surprised their parents that morning as well. His sons, at least, were reasonably, even remarkably, cooperative this morning and quickly selected several overpriced packages of chips and dips. As they passed the grocery’s bakery, the sight and scent of its sweet concoctions struck Ross. His sons, complaining they hadn’t had time for a real breakfast, began to press for something, and it took very little effort on the boys’ parts to convince their father to buy several sickly sweet and elaborate rolls. Ross knew it would annoy his ex-wife when she inevitably learned found out about it. Under the influence of her boyfriend Todd, who believed in and followed some vegetarian regime, Ross’ ex-wife engaged in a battle to ban all processed and junk foods from her sons’ diets. Ross admitted that her effort was a valiant one, but he also felt that trying to completely expunge cheeseburgers and fries from a teenager’s menu was futile if not cruel. And Ross wasn’t generously inclined towards his ex this morning. She’d roused him from his warm, comfortable bed—and an equally warm and comfortable companion—with a story of woe involving a car without gas and Todd needing to get to his job and a desperate plea for Ross to get his sons to school. As much as he loved his sons, Ross admitted that he’d had hopes to be engaged in a more passionate and intimate activity this morning than wandering in a grocery store’s aisles. Providing his sons with forbidden donuts seemed a suitable and relatively nonviolent retribution.

On the eleventh floor of One Police Plaza, Rodgers carefully opened and arranged her gift to the Major Case Squad. “Ah,” Alex said as she stepped up by the M.E. “Great minds think alike.” She deposited her box of donuts on the table next to Rodgers’.

Rodgers blushed slightly. “Uh…Yea…It’s just…I give you guys a lot of grief…”

“Not as much as we give you,” Alex said cheerfully. “Goren alone must drive you crazy…”

“And what or who am I driving crazy now?” Bobby loomed over the two women and slipped his large white sack between their two boxes.

“And what do you have there?” Alex asked genially. “Some obscure balls of dough from some country no one else has heard of?”

Bobby smiled. “Nope…Just some good old-fashioned donuts. I…uh…didn’t have breakfast…”

Alex struggled to suppress a giggle, and Rodgers glanced at her curiously.

“When I stopped for coffee,” Bobby continued, pointedly not looking at Alex. “I thought I should pick something up for everyone.”

Detectives. Rodgers.” They turned to face Captain Danny Ross, who stood awkwardly holding a large bag like a shield in front of his body. Ross didn’t catch the shy looks between Alex and Bobby because he was conducting his own awkward, silent exchange with Rodgers.

“I…uh…had to stop by the grocery store to get something for my kids,” Ross said. “And I thought…” He placed his bag next to Bobby’s. As he leaned back, Ross’ shoulder brushed against Rodgers’ arm, and both jumped away from the other. Bobby and Alex looked at each other in first surprise and then a growing understanding.

Mike Logan appeared and pushed past the group. “So, what is this?” he grumbled. “Some convention?” His expression brightened when he saw the bags and boxes and eagerly examined their contents. “Hey! Donuts!” he said in delight. “What’s the celebration?” Grabbing a chocolate donut covered with candy sprinkles, he turned to discover Rodgers scurrying to the elevator, Ross loping to his office, and Goren and Eames smirking to each other as they strode to their desks. “What did I say?” Logan wondered. “And why are Goren and Eames smiling like the cats who ate the canaries? Oh well.” He shrugged and happily seized another donut, this one covered in caramel and with sweet, white goo oozing from it. “I’m not complaining. But I’d like to know what’s going on around here.”

END

Patcat

I loved it! You have some very unconventional ideas for stories and they make for great reads. The bit with Ross in the grocery store was great. We don't get much Ross storylines going in the fan fic world. Keep going! I'm eating these up like a chocolate cake donut (wakka wakka).

That was pretty funny.

funny. Even for this Anti shipper.

Me too! I like donuts though! K

This is the very first fan fiction I've read. I've stayed away from it because I was afraid I would just get too confused. And, non-shipper that I am, I didn't want to read any romance stories between Goren and Eames. However, this one is hilarious! Loved it! I might get brave and read some more. Maybe.

That can be taken in such a WRONG way.
That and the last donut at the very end...

Yes my mind is always in the gutter thank you very much.

This story is forever ruined for me now...

Heavens, you people have evil minds!

Innuendo was the last thing I intended--but once the creation is out of the hands of the creator (good grief, that sounds pompous!).

Patcat

Gah! Now, I'm scarred for life!

I will never be able to eat a donut again.

Nice job, very funny. I like a story with a humourous angle.

Very funny story! Thanks for the mid-day giggle.

Bumping this one to the top for anyone who hasn't read it yet. I think this is one of the funniest things I ever read!

Too funny! LOVE IT!!!!!!!

So glad you did. That was a fun read. I even missed the ship first time through - if others hadn't commented on it - so, well done!

I'll still be able to eat donuts, I just won't be able to look at them with breaking out in a fit of laughter and an evil little smile...

Just wanted to bump this to the top again because it's so funny and it's the very first fanfic I ever read...and because foxontherun has a new thread asking for favorite authors/fanfics, and this certainly fits the bill for me!

Thanks for bumping it, lol, very funny story! Well written, I can picture their faces, expressions, moves along the reading...
Very nice story

Oh my goodness! I'm just reading this thanks to some kind soul (waves at CIaddict) who bumped it. I love it!

Patcat, I've read a couple of your things over at FF.net, too, and I have to say that one with the "You know..." at the end of every B/A conversation was so incredibly sweet!