QUOTE (ciaddict @ Nov 1 2007, 06:21 PM)

Vault--where are you? Are you OK? Is your kitty OK?
Kitty update time
Bad news...I had to put Phantom down (Friday November 2 at 11:15 am). It took forever to get him in to see Vet #2 who is a kind and compassionate person and who I think was really freaked out at what state he came in to her in (they couldn't get a temperature it was too low to register on the digital thermometer

, pulse 1/4th of what it should have been, respiration was twice as fast as it should have been). She immediately put him on oxygen (strapped a little mask on his face) and we discussed how doing just about anything at that point could have killed him (i.e. more blood work, tests, trying to rush him to the closest competent emergency vet 90 minutes away). I made the toughest judgment call ever: that he was just suffering too much (the angry scream he let out when he realized he was in another vet clinic brought her and six vet techs running into the exam room) so although I am unsure of how much more fighting he wanted to do or realistically could do, I let her put him down. She put me onto a good veterinary pathologist and I hustled his big body (when he was healthy he weighed 19 pounds) the 40 miles south to Vet #3 who is running a necropsy (animal autopsy) on him and doing whatever it takes test-wise to figure out what was wrong with him (the vet school at VA Tech may get involved in this too).
This matters to me not only because I need closure (and the proof that Vet #1 is no better than a vivisectionist and needs to lose his license at a minimum) but because I still have Phantom's buddy kitty at home (Setzer a 10 year old male who when he adopted me let me know just how lonesome he was for feline companionship) and if this is an infectious disease I need to be ready to deal with potential health problems for Setzer. The pathologist (Vet #3) saw liver and pancreas issues but doesn't yet have enough information to determine what the real issue was (could be an infectious bacteria called Hemobartonella, could be hepatic lipidosis, could be other things)
Vet #4, who is on staff at Cornell's Vet School (the Mayo Clinic of Cat Care) and has been consulting with me over the phone to the extent she can, is going to review the pathologists findings (she already has Vet #1 and Vet #2's records). It will probably be her interpretation of Vet #3's findings (Vet #2 and Vet #3 being locals are going to be hesitant to testify against Vet #1) that will help me nail Vet #1 for his license , for veterinary malpractice and maybe even for a criminal charge of animal cruelty (I personally feel like he needs to do some jail time and I think he may be in the felony jackpot if not at least the misdemeanor territory). Vet #1 didn't do a lot he probably should have and kept trying to avoid talking to me directly so I now something bad is up. Vet #1 has Veterinary Licensing Board issues related to federal income tax evasion, prescribing veterinary anesthetics to his wife, prescribing veterinary Ritalin to his kid/grandkid, and messed up a dog's leg pretty bad in 2005...this is all public record stuff so I feel confident I can get something punitive to happen to him.
All this weekend and today in addition to doing research into the diagnosis, I'm working up a complaint form and its documentation for the Vet Licensing Board, I've got emails out to various animal law experts pertaining to civil and criminal liabilities Vet #1 may be nailed for, I'm researching the state statutes that apply, writing up questions that I need answered, researching who I should take Setzer to in the future (he probably should get a well senior citizen cat exam from a vet I am convinced is good with cats). When I'm not busy, I'm either hanging out with Setzer (who I can't figure out if he misses Phantom or is picking up on my stress levels or both), watching him like a hawk for any signs he might be ill. And when I'm not collapsed and asleep, then I get emotional in a grieving kind of way (crying, angry, self-righteous, sometimes a little denial and bargaining, sometimes just down...my emotions are really in flux right now). As long as I keep going I'm okay. It's when I sit around that I don't feel so okay. But I know that that's how it's going to be so there you have it. I know that if I ride it out eventually I'll feel better, it's just frustrating to not be able to say when that will happen
I did try to watch 'Depths' Thursday night and I didn't hate it or love it...my opinion of it is just too nebulous because I'm distracted by what happened with Phantom and my mind is preoccupied with getting the next steps right. But I will watch it again and think about it later...when the time is right.
Stuff is still very slowly progressing with Room To Read and the Frances Goren Library...but that is extremely back burner right now...it just has to be that way for a little longer.
Many hugs to everyone here...thanks for the personal messages and the emails and the postings to this thread...between my friends who are being incredibly cool about letting me unload on them via the phone and email and all y'all here I figure I'll get through this okay.
But I probably won't post much here at least until I have that necropsy and pathology data...the waiting is making me crazier than usual

(did you think that was even possible?)
The Vault (who is encouraging all y'all to go do something nice for someone you care about human or 'fur kid', just 'cause you can)