Just so the fans know, after I finish this episode (3-4 more scenes left), there will only be 2 more episodes of the Gay 4400 left. After that, I will devoting all of my energy to finishing up the new site, and they will all be posted there, with a note letting you know they have been posted...

Back at the Bar and Kyle...

Kyle suddenly felt the eyes of everyone at the bar on him. He felt like he was a mouse about to be pounced on by a group of hungry mountain lions. But the men in the bar did not make a move, merely stared.

Cassie: I hate to state the obvious, but I think we're outnumbered.

Kyle (to self): Why did I get stuck with this idiot? Why couldn't I have gotten Pandora, who at least fetches the morning paper and slippers?

Cassie (in Kyle's head): I heard that.

Kyle (to Cassie): So?

Cassie (in Kyle's head): It's not my fault we're stuck together. I wasn't the one who shoved a needle full of promicin down my veins.

Kyle (to Cassie): And when I did that, I was hoping for a cool superpower, like teleportation, telekinesis, or hypnotizing women with gay soap operas.

Cassie (in Kyle's head): Yes, and sometimes, we all get the short end of the stick.

Kyle (to Cassie): Or the dreaded, useless purple stick.

Cassie (in Kyle's head): Speaking of which, how long has it been since that slab of manmeat between your legs gotten a proper workout?

Kyle (to Cassie): Hey!

Cassie (in Kyle's head): Even us people in the future have seen it! In fact, in our time, Descent is a considered a classic.

Kyle (to Cassie jokingly): And I bet that's what started the Catastrophe....

Cassie (to Kyle suspiciously): Shh! Don't say that out loud! How did you know? Did someone tell you?

Kyle (to Cassie in disbelief): You can't be serious...

Cassie (to Kyle): You honestly don't know?

Kyle (to Cassie): Nope. Remember, they hired me because I'm hot, not because of any great talent....

Cassie (to self as she remembers the nude scene from Descent): You can say that again...

Kyle (to Cassie): So what happened?

Cassie (to Kyle): Well, there were those in the future that wanted to cut out Rosario Dawson completely out of the movie and post a Jordan Collier look-a-like in her place. But others said that since the movie was part of cinematic history, we had to preserve it as is, no matter how bad Rosario Dawson's acting was. Eventually, both sides quit talking and started fighting.

Kyle (to Cassie): You mean the War was all Rosario Dawson's fault?

Cassie (sarcastically to Kyle): Talk about a ripple effect...

Now, to the patrons of the bar, all they could see is a confused Kyle talking mumbo-jumbo to himself, and thought he was drunk. The bartender nodded to the bouncer, who picked Kyle up like a twig and threw him out onto the snow-covered street.

Kyle: So where do I go now?

Cassie (appearing beside Kyle): You still got that room key from Promicin Junkie?

Kyle: Yeah, why?

Cassie: Go and see what he wants.

Kyle: I know what he wants. He wants to kill me.

Cassie: It seemed he was a little too friendly to want to kill you.

Kyle: Maybe it was all an act.

Cassie (annoyed): Yes, because all gay people are such wonderful actors.

Kyle: What are you saying Cassie? My wife hired a gay assassin?

Cassie (to self): Sometimes I wonder if there's an L in front of my name instead of a C....

Cassie (to Kyle): Maybe, but I think he wanted you...

Kyle (confused): Why would he? I'm not gay.

Cassie: Please, hun, you're so gay, you make the cast of Queer as Folk look like normal, heterosexual church-going boys...

Kyle (pissed): Where in the Hell are you getting this Horse Hockey! from?

Cassie: Sorry, just taking a page from the book I'm reading: How to Manufacture Negativity Out of Nothing by Alex...

Kyle (curtly to Cassie): Well, maybe if you were actually in this time period helping me instead of disappearing every second, we might just have gotten a Season 5 for the 4400.

Cassie (to Kyle): Wouldn't have mattered. The only thing those executives look for is DVD sales...

Kyle (to self): God, what is this Alex character trying to do? Start a cult from his own Horse Hockey!?

Cassie: Just go see Promicin Junkie. If you're sure you're not gay after seeing him, I'll leave you alone about it.

Kyle (reluctantly): Okay. You win...

Kyle wrapped his hand around Cassie's and started skipping towards Promicin Junkie's hotel room.

Cassie, Kyle (singing in unison): "We're off to see the Gay Wizard, the Gay Wizard of Oz, because, because, because...."

ROFL!!! ......So funny, The Gay Wizard of OZ! hehehehe!

Hilarious dialogue between Kyle and "the dreaded useless purple stick"

Love, abslolutely love, How the catastrophe started, I would have fought like hell to replace Rasario Dawson as well!

Damn that Alex and his Horse Hockey cult

Thanks hun, Another classic from the PJ!!!!

You're welcome, sugah! And in the original version, that horse hockey was Bullsh**!

Oh, but whether to continue with the PJ/ Kyle storyline... or to move on to the Diana/Maia/Tom one....

Decisions, decisions!

I am game, they are both equally juicy!!!!

You would say that, wouldn't you? LMAO!

I would take a bite out of either scenario....

I'm jealous! The only thing that should be taken a bite out of.... is me!

Where is that twinkie of yours? I would take a bite out of that....

Emjoy!

you bet!!!

Mmmmm...Jordan.

Now, I have to read many, many pages and catch up on everything. It's so hilarious ^^
Here something little tastiest for all, who can give their fancy full scope xDDD

Bumped! So I can find it to update it later tonight!....

Meanwhile, back at the Skouris Apartment...

Diana slept peacefully in her bed, her claws (yes, actual claws) wrapped around Jordan.

Jordan (mumbling in his sleep): Honey, you gotta do something about your nails. It feels like I'm sleeping next to a catcus or something...

Diana (mumbling in her sleep): Sorry. Just part of the pregnancy.

Jordan (mumbling in his sleep): Gee, what are you giving birth to? The Hellspawn of Satan?

Diana (mumbling in her sleep): You must be delusional. Go back to sleep, Jordan!

Diana (mumbling, absentmindedly): Mmmm.... Jordan!

Xavier (looking down at his Timex watch): Oh, I suppose you were expecting me to say Daddy, huh? Well, guess again. I will not be pigeonholed into a catchphrase. I tell you I will not become another Jimmy Walker or Gary Coleman!

An oven timer beeps.

Xavier: Ah, my blood pudding is finally done. You wouldn't believe how hard it is trying to live off of that dreadful stuff Diana calls cooking. Meatloaf? Minus as well call it barfloaf.

Diana (to Xavier): Will you please go to sleep? It's bad enough I have to listen to your whinning 14 hours a day. Must I listen to it when I'm trying to sleep as well?

Xavier (to Diana): Well, excuse me. All I've done is given you the man of your dreams, taught you how to cook properly, and ensured your survival in the new world order. If you want me to leave, all you have to do is say so. I never stay where I'm not wanted.

Jordan (mumbling in his sleep): Will you two please shut the fu** up? A Messiah's got to have his beauty sleep...

Xavier: Yes, Daddy. Right away Daddy.

Xavier pushes the lights out button, and Diana suddenly passes out cold. As Diana sleeps, she dreams of events earlier in the day.

Diana (slapping Maia): Wakey, wakey.

Maia: Owwww! You bitch!

Xavier: Now, now, is that the way you talk to your mother?

Maia: When she's possessed by an evil entity from the future, it is.

Xavier: In that case, the correct terminology would be either sonofabitch or mother fu**er.

Maia (rolls eyes): Whatever...

Xavier: So I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here...

Maia: I kinda assumed you were here to taunt and torture me.

Xavier: My, what a clever little girl.

Maia spits in Diana's face.

Diana: That's disgusting! What would possess you to do such a thing to me? Your mother?

Maia (yelling): YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, BUT YOU ARE DEFINATELY NOT MY MOTHER!

Diana (slapping Maia again): Hogwash! You are my child and you will always be my child. Now behave yourself before something bad happens.

Xavier: Yes, such an insolent teenager needs to be taught a lesson...

Diana (geniunely spooked): We're not killing her, are we?

Xavier: Not for another six months, by last count...

Diana (relieved): Whew!

Xavier: Besides, I have something more sinister up my tiny, premie sleeves.

Diana puts her hands on Maia's temples. A few seconds later, Maia has lost all her memories, and is exhibiting some signs of mental psychosis.

Diana then unties Maia and drives her out to the nearest state park and releases her.

As Diana continued to sleep, her thoughts seemed to move from her confrontation with Maia to her visit to Tom's house. She remembered standing outside Tom's house and then....

Isabelle (opening the door): Diana? What are you doing here?

Diana (handing Isabelle a basket of Ben and Jerry's Gourmet 4400 Inspired Ice Creams): I came to see you and Tom. Can I come in?

Isabelle: Ordinarily, I'd say no, but you did come bearing gifts...

Isabelle allows Diana in.

Diana: My personal favorite is the Mariska Hargitay Chai and Ginger Cookie.

Isabelle: Hold on, girl-friend! Mariska Hargitay isn't a 4400...

Diana: But everyone loves Mariska Hargitay! (absentmindedly): Mmmm..... Mariska Hargitay!

Isabelle: Well, I must admit she is kind of hot....(snapping out of the fog): You've been watching too much Law and Order: SVU, Diana.

Diana: But, it's the only thing that keeps baby Xavier quiet.

Isabelle digs through the basket and finds a pint of Shawn's Creamy Vanilla. Grabbing a pair of spoons, she invites Diana over next to her and offers her some ice cream.

Isabelle: I've always loved the Creamy Vanilla, even after we broke up.

Diana: It's absolutely the creamiest ice cream I've ever had. Have you tried the Kyle's Nutty Descent?

Isabelle: No? What's it taste like?

Diana: Like the best Butter Pecan you've ever had. It's so good, your pants even start tingling....

Isabelle starts to dip her spoon in the ice cream to get another bite, when she realizes Diana said "baby".

Isabelle: Baby?

Diana (her face glowing): Yes, Diana is with child.

Isabelle: How far along are you?

Diana: Three months.

Isabelle: So that would put it around the time of the Christmas party?

Diana: Yeah. Why?

Isabelle: Just thinking aloud, that's all.

Isabelle (to self): Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have stayed for that last quickie with Santa. But, what a gorgeous body he had under that fat suit.... those muscles, that taut jaw line.... that giant candy cane that made me go "Ho Ho Ho"....

A few seconds later, Tom came into the living room completely naked.

Tom: Isabelle, where are the towels?

Isabelle: In the laundry room, dear. I would have brought a fresh one to you, but we have a guest.

Tom looks over at Diana and suddenly gets embarrassed.

Tom: Um... um... I'm sorry, Diana... but I kinda assumed... me and Izzy... were...uh, home alone.

Diana (smiling dopily): No need to apologize. I always like looking at a prime specimen of man.

Diana (absentmindedly): Mmmm.... Tom Baldwin!

Xavier (absentmindedly): Monster! (lustily:) Oh... but what a sexy monster!

Tom leaves, and returns donning a T-shirt and pair of shorts.

Tom: I thought you were supposed to be at NTAC today, Diana.

Diana: I was, but I finished early. I decided to come and share with you the good news...

Tom: Good news? Haven't had much of that around these parts lately...

Diana: I'm pregnant!

Tom: Congradulations! Who's the lucky father?

Diana (mumbling): Jordan.

Tom (not hearing her): Who?

Isabelle: Jordan, honey. The monster that betrayed you for a quick lay with He-who-must-not-be-named.

Diana: Lord Vortemort?

Isabelle (giving her the evil eye): No.

Diana: Skeletor?

Isabelle: No.

Diana: Sauron?

The voice of the Ultimate Writer booms over head.

UW: Diana, it's Shawn you idiot! Shawn is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!

Diana (suddenly getting it): Oh! But I would have thought the way Jordan played Tom, he would be the one Not-To-Be-Named...

Tom suddenly gets angry with Diana.

Tom: How could you sleep with him? You know what a cad he is, and yet you spread your legs for him. Were you trying to hurt me?

Diana: I honestly don't know what happened. All I remember was that we were selling stuff on HSN, and then, we were making love. And then a few weeks later, I was puking my guts out.

Isabelle: Thank you for the gifts. Perhaps it's best you go.

Xavier: I don't think so, Little Miss Naughty Stocking. If you don't want your secret to come out to your precious Shawn, I suggest you knock your new boytoy Tom out so we can discuss things more frankly.

Isabelle kisses Tom, sucking out most of the oxygen out of his lungs.

Isabelle (disgusted): There. He's out.

Xavier: Good work. I knew I could rely on you to make the right decision.

Isabelle: So what do you want?

Xavier: Simple. In exchange for my silence, all you have to do is keep Tom satisfied. And away from Jordan.

Isabelle: What's with all the threats? Wasn't I already doing that?

Xavier: Yes, but you have a tendency to... how should I put it?... play both sides of the fence. I didn't want you to lose your nerve like Isa'belle did on the 4400.

Isabelle: Oh, so that's what you're worried about? That'll I ruin your pretty little plan?

Xavier: A master villian can never be too careful.

Isabelle: And what's to stop me from using my abilities on you and killing you like I did Rebecca?

Xavier: Because if you kill me, you kill Diana. And Tommy wouldn't be real happy with you if he woke up and saw you with Diana's blood on your hands.

Isabelle: You bastard!

Xavier: Just do what you were created to do, and all will go well for you. (pointing to Tom): And him, too.

Diana get's up to leave. As she's about to walk out the door, she turns around.

Diana: And don't forget, you screw up, and everyone will know that you let all of this happen.

Isabelle (pissed): Get the f*** out of here before I cap your trecherous ass!

Diana (feigning fear): She just went ghetto folks! Ruuuuuuun for the hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiills!

Diana leaves. Isabelle goes to finish her laundry and to eat a pint of Shake That Ass: Isabelle's Rocky Road Ice Cream.

Tom "wakes" up from his sleep.

Tom: Damn! Everyone's got a secret on this show.

Tom pulls out his phone and dials a number he hasn't called in twenty years.

Tom: Hello, Religious Nut?

WOW PJ.... Seems like you got a lot of work done last night during my absence! If that's what it takes to pump out gay brilliance maybe I should stay away more often!

Great episodes!!!! Damn that Xavier has taken over the show! I wonder what plans he has up his sleeves for He-who-shall-not-be-named!

I loved the last scene at Tom's house how exciting this is all getting, I am on the edge of my seat!

As usual I will have my thoughts about practically every line posted in the 101 things thread later today

P.s. "Have you tried the Kyle's Nutty Descent?" I almost died laughung!!!!

Good things come to those who wait, my dear Megan!

Yes, Xavier is taking over the show, but it's okay. With Rebecca "missing", someone had to be the big baddie. And as far as his plans for Shawn, well.... those have not yet been discussed with me. Apparently, the Ultimate Writer thinks in 3-5 page bursts...

And Kyle's Nutty Descent... I was laughing myself when I thought up the flavor. It's so double entendre mixed with a nice pun. Maybe I should market it.... any takers?

Well I know I'd eat it...

You'd eat anything that was attached to a sexy guy...

LOL!!

Tom: Hello, Religious Nut?

RN: Why hello, Tom!

Tom (nervously): So, what's your plans for the next week?

RN: Thinking of cleansing your self of your sins?

Tom: Damn it, Larry! Why do you always have to say that?

RN: Sorry, can't help it. Kinda part of the role. I'm a nut. And I'm religious. I'm a Religious Nut.

Tom: It's okay. I just keep remembering the shy kid I knew at comic book camp.

RN: So you steal seeing that Spawn of Satan?

Tom: Jordan?

RN: No, not him. (eyes narrow): Her.

Tom: You mean Isabelle?

RN: Yes, that is the name of the vile beast I refer to.

Tom (defensively): And what if I am?

RN: Then I'd tell you for the sake of humanity, slaughter her ass.

Tom: I can't. She's contracted to appear in at least 4 more episodes this season.

RN: Damn Ultimate Writer!

Tom: Don't worry, man. I've got a target more to your liking.

RN (intrigued): Oh, who?

Tom: Bonnie Hammer.

RN: Oh that is a good one, Tom. A cold, spineless bitch like her definately needs to be taught a lesson.

Tom (nervously): Hey man. I may not like her, but we don't need to be hurting her...

RN: Tom, relax. When I said "needs to be taught a lesson", I meant exactly that. She needs to be taught the princles of respect, humility, and compassion.

Tom: Phew!

RN (to self): Of course if it comes at the end of a couple of ropes tied to the ends of a couple of horses, so much the better....

Tom: So.... what are you doing next week?

RN: Well, I'm supposed to teach my followers the finer points of pillaging heathen villages, but Brother John could easily take over.

Tom: Good. Because here's what I want you to do...

Meanwhile, over at Promicin Junkie's hotel room....

PJ (already knowing who it is): Who is it?

Kyle: It's me. The guy you met at the bar.

PJ: Come in, Kyle.

Kyle enters the room nervously. He geniunely fears this is a trap, but something inside him makes him go through with it anyway. PJ picks up on Kyle's nervousness.

PJ: You're not nervous, are you?

Kyle (stuttering): N-n-n-n-n-o-o-o-o!

PJ walks over and closes the door behind Kyle.

PJ (laughing): Relax, Kyle! I'm not here to kill you.

Kyle: But my wife hired you to kill me?

PJ moves in closer to Kyle. He is so close that he can smell Kyle's cologne and it is intoxicating.

PJ: Yes, but (inhales deeply): I took the job to be close to you.

Kyle moves away.

Kyle (gulps): Me? (gulps again): Why me?

PJ: I like you, Kyle. I just don't think you should be lied to.

Kyle: What do you mean?

PJ: Do you know how you wound up with Meghan?

Kyle: No. I just thought it was the way it always was.

PJ: Jordan traded you to her for permission to go after Tom.

Kyle (confused): You're lying! I'm straight.

PJ walked up behind Kyle and pulled him close to him.

PJ (raises eyebrows): Oh, you are?

Kyle tries to push away, but PJ places his arm around Kyle's neck.

Kyle (tossling): Stop! Let me go...

PJ: Will you listen to me, my little Tin Man?

Kyle: You're just trying to kill me..... or confuse me.

PJ licked Kyle's neck.

PJ: Mmmm.... nice and salty!

Kyle (intrigued): You got turned on by that?

PJ: No, not by the act of licking your neck. By you.

Kyle lets out a big gulp.

Kyle: Why me? Meghan says she loves me all the time and then she goes off and spends my money. Why should I believe you?

PJ: Think about it. I could have never revealed myself to you. I could have done my job as assigned and never given you a forewarning.

Kyle: But that could just be a trick...

PJ: Yes, maybe. But it could also be the truth.

PJ loosens his grip on Kyle and begins to kiss along his shoulders.

Kyle's skin begins to crawl.

Kyle (uncomfortable): Please... stop. This... isn't right.

PJ: Kyle, just relax and give in.

Kyle: But I'm still married....

PJ: Did Meghan respect your marriage vows when she hired an assassin to kill you? Did she respect you when she was emotionally unavailable?

Kyle: No, I guess not...

PJ: Don't you deserve to be loved?

Kyle: Yes.

PJ: Then it's simple. Just give in and let someone love you tonight.

Kyle: PJ?

PJ: Yes?

Kyle: Would spending the night with you make me gay?

PJ: Not if you don't want it to.

Kyle: Okay.

Kyle grabs PJ and kisses him hard.

Several hours later....

PJ lies awake next to a naked Kyle, who is sleeping peacefully. PJ is heavy in heart, realizing he must do what he is about to do.

PJ (to self): You should have known. You should have known that the Wizard's power lied in smoke in mirrors.

PJ reaches over to his nightstand. A syringe full of a mysterious liquid lies there.

PJ kisses Kyle sweetly on the lips.

PJ: Good night, my love.

And with that, PJ shoved the syringe into Kyle's chest. Kyle heaved a few times, and then fell flat, in a coma.

BUMP!

Okay I was really scared and couldn't get into the board for like 3 hours!!! I made it!!! and I see you already have a story up I will read it soon, gotta get to the bank!!! Promise I will have the 101 things updated a little later!

Great episodes! They seemed a lot funnier than they have been in a while.

O-M-G!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost couldn't make it through that last scene without taking a well needed cold shower!!! What have you done to us PJ?!?!?!?! Why is it that I find gay love making so exciting?

PJ...first of all: amazing episodes - all of them! I haven't been online much since the pipe burst in my office yesterday morning. I just caught up and OH MY, what a humdinger that last one was!

*Meg, if we were both in The Gay 4400, I'd be joining you in that cold shower!! **

Next: I have to tell you that since yesterday morning, I've been sequestered in a conference room with no internet access and little work to do since our office is basically on shut down mode due to the flood. While doing my filing, I've been re-reading the past episodes of The Gay 4400 that I had previously copied to my hard drive and it has truly been a God-send (so to speak: given the content I hope I'm not struck down by lightening for using that term! )

I just want to thank you again & again for your amazingly creative & entertaining stories! We love you PJ and The Gay 4400! You rock!

LMAO!!!! Don't go giving PJ any ideas!!!!!

ROFLMAO.....do you really think that he hasn't thought about this (many times) before?

I hope so!

Is that because there's more Jordan and Diana loving, Miss D?

Awee... thinking of me, even while reading the Gay 4400! And Megs, I hate to say it, there was no actual gay loving in the filming of these episodes, only the insinuation of gay loving! There's no way I'd get that descriptive on a board like this....

Well that's what I have my imagination for.....and believe me it runs wild!

Oh my! People copying my little old stories for later reads.... how shocking! I am so glad you guys are enjoying them so much. I do hope the flood and the office problems clear up soon....

Actually I have, but never with both of you together at the same time! The shower at my apartment is just too small for such funny business....

Now there's a scary thought!

You know you like it....

You know it!

And now, the spine-tingling conclusion to the gripping two part episode, "Truth and Consequences". Brought to you by Ben and Jerry's Gourmet Ice Creams, where we love the gays. I mean, we're two liberal hippies from Vermont, damnit!

Meanwhile, over at Jordan's office in Promise City...

Jordan was sitting at his desk, dronishly completing his required paperwork. His mind was elsewhere. What happened between him and Shawn that night? Was it him giving into his desires, or were there other forces at work? What was with Diana? She's become more dark, but could that just be the stress of carrying the baby? And Tom. His sweet Tom. Who would want to hurt him? And what would they have to gain by it?

Just then, Jordan heard a knock on his door.

Jordan: Come in.

The Religious Nut entered carrying a shot gun with inhibitor covered bullets.

RN (sarcastically): So nice to see you again, Jordan.

Jordan (smiling): Yes it is, Larry. We should have done this much sooner.

RN: Am I really that forgetable? The minute I've served your purpose, I'm thrown to the scrapheaps?

Jordan: Have you considered therapy?

RN (bitterly): How do you think I got the name Religious Nut? I was only a Religious Zealot until I went. I tried to explain all about Comic Book Camp, but they didn't believe me. They thought I was crazy and they prescribed a gallon of prescription drugs for me. (pauses for effect:) Oh, and they started to refer to me as the Religious Nut.

Jordan (to self): Phew! If they actually had believed him, I would have been out of a job...

Jordan: That was very mean of them, Larry. I wish I would have known so I could have helped you through it.

RN: Sure, just like you helped out Tom...

Jordan (eyes flicker with passion): Don't you dare bring him into this!

RN: Why shouldn't I? Isn't that what you've been ultimately after all these years?

Jordan: Ah, so that's what it's always been about. You've just jealous of what Tom and I had back in Comic Book Camp.

RN (barely squeaking out an answer): Yes.

Jordan: So why don't you tell Jordan all about it...

The Religious Nut reclines on Jordan's couch, the gun still pointed at Jordan.

RN: Do you charge by the hour?

Jordan (laughing nervously): Of course not! This one is on the house.... for all the, uh, pain I've caused you.

RN: You used me, Jordan. You and Tom both did. First, you used me to satisfy your sexual desires. Then, you used me to get close to Tom. Then, when Tom found out about your game, he used me to get back at you. And most of all, you both used me to get whatever you needed at the moment.

I never minded when I still believed you genuinely liked me and cared for me. But then, the way you and Tom hurt me that night, the night I became a laughingstock of the Comic Book Camp, (sighs:) well, I still have nightmares about that day. In fact, I never went back to camp after that year. I would up being shipped off to Religious Camp after my parents found out that I'd been enlarging corpus collosi with some of the hotter neighborhood boys.

And you know what the sickest thing of it was?

Jordan: No, what?

RN: The boys who I had enlarged their corpus collosi.... they all reminded me of either you or Tom.

Jordan: You're right! That is sick...

The Religious Nut said nothing, simply cocking his gun instead.

Jordan (nervously): Perhaps I may have misspoke....

RN (continuing his tale): And that's not the worst of it. When I got to Religious Camp, I did manage to hook up with a few guys. I even found someone I could have had a serious relationship with. But then I made the mistake of beating some girl at Recite The Books of the Bible in Order Game and she went and told the counselors that I was a closet q**er.

The Camp Machine went into overdrive, trying to purge the secret desires from me. At first, they tried gentler methods, such as talk therapy and pheremone therapy. But when that didn't work, they started becoming more and more violent, until the ending torturing and waterboarding me for days on end. For the sake of expediency, I eventually "confessed" by sins, but the Counselors weren't convinced. They implanted a device inside me that if I did have a sexual thought about a man, it would first shock me half to death and then send a sensation through my body as if it was on fire.

Jordan: So that explains you pent up hatred and repression of gay people, but what about minorities?

RN: The person in charge of those therapy and torture sessions was a black guy named Richard.

Jordan (shocked): You don't mean my Mr. Big, Black and Beautiful?

RN simply nodded his head in defeat.

Jordan: Wow, I never knew you had it so hard. If I had, I may have actually returned those phone calls and letters...

RN: I guess my session's over.

Jordan: Yes, I guess so.

RN got up and kept the gun pointed at Jordan.

Jordan: Larry, do we really need the gun?

RN: I'm afraid we do.

Jordan: So where are you kidnapping me to, Larry?

RN: Don't worry, you'll see.

[Note this is not finished. This will be picked up on and finished tommorrow. I just wanted to leave you with a little tease...]

I have said it before, and I'll say it again.....you tease! Too funny! It does explain a lot, and that religious nut is sick...... I will be waiting in front of my computer screen for the Juicy conclusion!

I perfer the terms tortured and misunderstood.

the totured part I can handle...

If you read the last part of the episode, you'll understand why he's abducting Jordan. He's not abducting him to hurt him....

Yes I defiantely caught that part!

Good!

Why else would I be so eagerly awaiting the conclusion?

I think sometimes I come to this board now just to read the next episode. I can't tell you how much it means. I really enjoy it. Thanks so much for all your hard work. You could have left us hanging, like some other network did. But you have gone above and beyond. I haven't said it before, but it is so very much appreciate. Now, back to the laughs.

Oh you are? That makes me feel so happy!

*salutes JordanFan* Yes, Ma'am!

Where is the (*raises eyebrow ala Jordan Collier*) stage direction in your last comment?

Huh?

LOL.....When you said "Oh you are?" It just reminded me of something you would add that action to..