Super soldiers, Amerirish? Don't you think that's overkill? I've been around here all along, but I've been too depressed to respond....

that is, until Megan came around again....

Yep, I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?

Well it's not like anyone can blame you PJ!! No one wants wants to respond unless I'm here!!!

In all seriousness, I am glad you are responding again, and I would be crushed if you were depressed over my lousy connection!! It's all in the past now so let's be happy again, I know I have been happy ever since 11:30 this afternoon!

I've been dancing on air since 2:30 myself...

Why are you depressed PJ? Do you want to lay on my couch & talk about it?

Yes, I would Amerirish!

You see, Megan's been experiencing so many issues lately, and it's so hard to get a moment just to talk with her. I know their not her fault, but it's still frustrating...

*puts on shrink glasses & ties hair in a bun, sitting with legs crossed holding a pad & pen*

Umm hmmm, umm hmmm. Yes, I see. Please do continue....

And you know it sucks being so far apart... you know to help her and stuff.... and to watch lots and lots of 4400 on DVD....

Can I get in on this session or do I have to schedule my own? Do you take couples Dr.Irish??

Dr. Irish?? I LOVE IT!!

*errr, hmmmm*

So Meg....what do you have to say about PJ's revelations?

(btw, PJ don't let this little therapy session interrupt your brilliant installments of The Gay 4400. If you stop giving us material, I'll charge you double! )

So do you have distance issues or separation anxiety, do you think?

Meanwhile, in a graveyard in Promise City....

Mysterious woman: Hurry up, you two. I want his body out of the ground before Hillary steals the election of '08.

Goon 1 (snickering): Yeah. Bros before hos, that's what I say.

Goon 2 (laughing): Maybe when Obama wins, he'll give her a job ironing his shirts.

Mysterious woman: Dig, you idiots. We're not here to discuss politics, but did you hear her cackle? It sounded more like a Harpie than a lady.

Director PJ: Cut!

All (confused): What did we do wrong?

Director PJ: Can't you hear yourselves? You should be ashamed of yourselves spouting all that sexism like that.

Mysterious woman (defensively): We're only doing it to boost sales.

Director PJ (confused): I don't get it...

Mysterious woman: Don't you know sexism sells? All the major newscasters and journalists are doing it...

Director PJ: That still don't make it right...

Goons: Why the hell should we listen to you? If a woman (pointing over to Mysterious woman) does it, too, it can't be sexist.

Director PJ: And if Hitler had employed a few Jews to sell the nation of Germany on the Final Solution, it would have been OK to proceed with the Holocaust?

Goons (thinking): Um... of course not!

Director PJ: Now all of you, back to work! Action!

Mysterious Woman: Hurry up, you two....

Goon 1 and 2 (in unison): We're digging, we're digging...

After about an hour, the casket was visible.

Goon 1: What do you want with this body?

Mysterious Woman: I had a dream that Kyle was important to the mission, and this man is the only one who can control him.

Goon 2: What do you mean control him?

Mysterious Woman: Let's just say Kyle is special.

Goon 1: You mean he has a mental disorder?

Mysterious Woman: Bingo.

Goon 2: Okay, I'll buy that. But this guy is dead.

Mysterious Woman: Is he?

Pan out on Mysterious Woman.

Name: Lady M

Abducted: June 4, 2005

Returned June 5, 2005

Director PJ: Cut!

Everyone: What's wrong now?

Director PJ: The dates of her abduction and return don't match the timeline.

Everyone: Who cares? This is the Gay 4400, where everything is bent. Everything.

Director PJ: Good point. Continue on, then.

Lady M touches PJ (the character) and he awakes.

PJ: What happened?

Lady M: Meghan killed you.

PJ: How'd she do that?

Lady M: Lucky shot.

PJ: Teach me to dare a blonde to do something.

Lady M: Yes, those blondes are sneaky creatures.

PJ: So why did you resurrect me?

Lady M: Kyle needs you.

PJ: Why? What happened?

Lady M: He is vital to the plan.

PJ: What plan?

Lady M: You know...

PJ: No, I don't. I was dead, remember...

Lady M: Well, how about I fill you in over a plate of hasbrowns....

PJ: Sounds like a deal!

[to be continued]

Perhaps a tad...

Did you see the new episode above?

Megan, why don't you join us in counseling? Maybe even answer my PM? And how come we keep missing each other?

#1 Terrific episode (as always) PJ!
#2 I don't actually think you have any 'issues'. You seem to be damn well adjusted to me!
#3 What the H-E-double hockey sticks is really going on with you & Meggy? Inquiring minds want to know!

#1--- Thanks! So what did you like about it?
#2--- I wouldn't be so sure. It takes a lot of makeup to pull this mask off.
#3--- Well, that's between me and Megs. If she wants to tell you, then she will. But, we still love you, Amerirish!

#1--- Loved the guest appearance of PJ the Director and the goons and the mysterious lady!!! Basically everything!
#2--- I think you're a subtle genius!
#3--- I love both of you as well! I'm just so honored & happy to be a member of The Unholy Trinity (isn't that what we're called?)

Awee, thanks Amerirish! And to think this was the clean episode...

Me? A genius? Well, I wasn't going to say it...but if you insist!

And yes, me and Megs love you to pieces. You are definately one of my favorite things (especially on this board). Unholy Trinity.... that's what we're called! Don't go wearing it out now, love....

LOVE the epi PJ!!! I am just soooooo happy that PJ is alive again, considering how long I have been left hanging on the "PJ is presumably dead" line. LMAO.... Would you like to join me for a plate of hashbrowns so WE can catch up, I think it is defiantely needed!

ROFLMAO! Did you really think I was going to leave my namesake dead forever? I'm not the writers of the 4400, for crying out loud.... who get stuck with revolving actors! Megs, have you figured out who the mysterious Lady M is yet? Or is she still too mysterious and need to clearify in another epi? And yes, we definately need to talk over a plate of hashbrowns.... when and where, sweetness?

I am so happy to hear that you have not been taking any lessons from the writers of The 4400 and that The Gay 4400 may actually get a real ending (not that i am wanting it to end......ever!). Now that I know the Lady M is an important character and was created in mind of somebody it is much more intriuging and I must know who she is. Maybe you will need to clarify a bit more but I have my theories! Mmmm...Hashbrowns with PJ! Sounds absolutely delicious and not just the hashbrowns! How about tonight? I will pray nothing goes wrong this time but the day is quiet so far so I am hoping that is a good sign!

I so hope I will be able to talk to you tonight. Fingers crossed, recrossed, and crossed again. I have been so looking forward to eating some hashbrowns..... I am practically salivating as I type.

The official hashbrown taste taster is getting cranky.... he didn't get no hashbrowns last night.... and all he wants is just a nibble.... damn evil people at Meg's diner....can't they figure out how to cook the hashbrowns to perfection on their own.... or at least ask her how to do it before they start cooking them....

OK, wait a fracking moment! Are my two bestest buddies actually planning a RL meeting??? OMG, I'm so excited, I could pee! Come on...somebody tell me something!!!!

Amerirish, my lips are sealed...

And my lips are locked and PJ threw away the key!!!

To Amerirish:

Solve the cipher if you dare
Yet do so with great care
Twisted minds lead to twisted roads
Travel them to our twisted abodes
A secret is only secret for so long
Then it flows like a bird's song
To understand us, contact Gary
Maybe he can reveal the mystery.

Based on all of those responses, I will take it as a resounding YES from both of you! I think that's awesome

Hmmm.... Since I'm not into fantasising about a three guy love triangle, my trio would be Diana, Lily and Meghan Doyle.... If Maia was much older I'd throw her into the mix too, lol. (And READ that last part properly before you start making 'underage' comments, lol)

You must be extremely bored to be reading material from the early pages, robwolf. This whole thread is supposed to be a joke and a spoof...

We will return to our regularly scheduled program already in progress so that we may bring you this commercial...

Diana: What in the hell are we doing in some rinkydink town?

Jordan: You got me. The producers probably thought it'll make us more approachable to the common folks.

Diana: Well, that makes sense...

Jordan: After all, who has ever had to carry alien demon spawn in their uteri?

Diana: And whoever has had the problem of fighting off all the town of Seattle with a stick because they're so damn Mmmm.....!-able?

Jordan: Why thanks Diana! I didn't know you cared....

Diana (pissed): Haven't you been paying attention, Jordan? I've been trying to get with you for two seasons now, so much so that I even agreed for a faction from the future to impregnant me with demon spawn?

Diana (absentmindedly): Mmmm....Jordan!

Jordan: Nope, not really. All I do is come in and smile and all the lines naturally come out...

Diana (mumbling): I'd hate to see what goes into that mouth...

Jordan: What did you say?

Diana: Oh nothing.... why don't we talk about this new product we have to present?

Jordan: Well, it says from our notecards that it's the Gay 4400 : the Album.

Diana: You mean it's another one of those crappy albums television show producers put out with music borrowed from other people just to make a quick buck.

Jordan: Yep, that's it.

Diana: I mean, who in the world ever buys these things?

Jordan: I've just received word from our producers that Megan3375 just bought four copies, and Amerirish, not to be outdone, just bought ten copies.

Diana: I'm glad to see we have two fans. How in the world does this show stay on the air with only two fans is beyond me...

Jordan: Well, if it was according to alex#$%^&, we'd be off the air a long, long time ago...

Diana (laughing): Thank God no one pays attention to trolls!

Jordan: So, Diana...

Diana: Yes, Jordan?

Diana (absentmindedly): Mmmm.... Jordan!

Jordan: What's on the Gay 4400 Music CD?

Diana: A little bit of everything....

Jordan: Like?

Diana: Like the Cardigan's "Lovefool", the third song on the album...

[Plays clip from song:]

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care 'bout anything but you...

Jordan: Oh yes, wasn't that played as Marco's theme song in S1?

Diana: Why, yes it was. And don't forget that eternal favorite song of Kyle's, Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares 2 U":

It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said boy u better try to have fun
No matter what you'll do
But he's a fool
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

Jordan (looking nervous): Um, when did he ever say that?

Diana: It was practically playing every time you and he were playing Superman and His Kryptonite...

Jordan (getting misty eyed): I miss the good old days...

Diana: And then there's my theme song...

Jordan: Which one is that on this list of eightteen songs?

Diana: The first one--- "Obsession" by Animotion:

[Plays clip of song.]

You are an obsession, I cannot sleep
I am a possession unopened at your feet
There is no balance, no equality
Be still I will not accept defeat

I will have you, yes I will have you
I will find a way and I will have you
Like a butterfly, a wild butterfly
I will collect you and capture you

You are an obsession, you're my obsession
Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me
(x2)

Jordan (fidgeting): I hope that's a song about your love for tomatotinis...

Diana: Nope... {grins evilly}

Jordan: I hear that you and Maia lend your voices to the album.

Diana: Yes, we recorded "The Sun Will Come Out Tommorrow" from the hit musical Annie.

Jordan: Sweet. That should be enough for Elessar and Bubba to buy at least fifty copies apiece.

Diana: Well, our time is almost up, so please call 1-888-GAY-4400 and buy a copy of the Soundtrack today.

Jordan: And if we sell 100,000 copies, I promise to bear my pearly whites for a whole day on the Gay HSN as I read erotic literature for all my lady fans.

Diana (absentmindedly): Mmmm..............................................Jordan!

Voiceover: You'll never get bored with the Soundtrack to the Gay 4400 with such hits as:

Jordan's and Tom's Breakup Theme: Toni Braxton "Unbreak My Heart"
Isabelle's Entrance Song: Eurhythmics "(Sweet Dreams) Are Made of This"
Marco's Theme: Cardigans "Love Fool"
Shawn's Theme: Jewel "You Were Meant For Me"
Diana's Theme: Animotion "Obsession"
Kyle's Theme: Sinead O'Connor "Nothing Compares 2 U"
Tom's Theme: Chris Isaak "Wicked Games"
Jordan's Theme: Frank Sinatra "I Did It My Way"
Rebecca Parrish's Theme: "You're A Mean One Mister Grinch (The Parrish Remix)"
The Gay 4400 Theme Song: Bruce Springsteen "Streets of Philadelphia (The Promise City Remix)"
Maia's Theme: Bonnie Raitt "Something to Talk About"
the Marked's Theme: Duffy "Mercy"
Meghan's Fantasy Theme: Aretha Franklin "RESPECT"
The Gay 4400 Finale Song: Jeff Oster "Final Approach" (Instrumental)

Bonus Tracks:

1. Etta James- "You Can Leave Your Hat On"
2. Three Doors Down- "Kryptonite"
3. Diana and Maia sing "The Sun Will Come Out Tommorrow"

And now, yet another commercial.... because USA Networks can! USA Networks: ONLY stupid crime procedurals and profits welcome!

Isabelle (singing seductively): What would you do-o-o-o-o-o-o for a Klondike bar?

Director PJ: I'd overlook Meghan's bad acting....

Kyle: I'd name a new Kyco fashion line after you....

PJ: I'd turn Jordan straight....

Isabelle (handing PJ a Klondike bar): I'd love to see that!

PJ whispers something into Jordan's ear.

Two seconds later...

Jordan: Someone just told me women were just men with their penises inverted, and I intend to find out. (looks over at Isabelle): You.... my bedroom.... now!

Isabelle (saluting Jordan): Yes sir!

Isabelle (singing seductively): What would you do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o for a Klondike bar?

OMG PJ, you slay me!!! Loved every bit of it

*Oh com'on, you couldn't have loved it that much.... unless you bought another thirty boxes of Klondike bars while I wasn't looking...*

ROFL!!! OMG PJ!! You are priceless! "Thank God no one listens to trolls."

Couldn't stop the laughter, ohhh and FYI I bought another 60 copies of the album, beat that AM!!!!


Klondike Bar commercial: Sooooooo Funny!! If that is all it takes to turn Gay Jordan straight The Real Love Triangle is in trouble!!!

If you read it very carefully, it could have been a response to a 4400 Extra Extra Extra Extra Extra Extra Extra Crispy ability.

And now, yet another commercial.... because USA Networks can! USA Networks: Only Walker, Texas Ranger and stale, three year old movies played ad nauseum welcome!

Isabelle (singing seductively): What would you do-o-o-o-o-o-o for a Klondike bar?

Maia: I'd predict the future for you...

Diana: I'd impregnate myself with demon alien spawn....

Xavier: I'd give up my British accent....

Rebecca Parrish: I'd become nice...

Isabelle (handing Rebecca a Klondike bar): Sorry, guys, but I have to see this....!

Four seconds later...

Rebecca Parrish (dressed like Julie Andrews in Sound of Music and singing): The hills are aaaaaaa-live with the sound of muuuuuuuuuu-sic...

Two seconds later....

Rebecca Parrish is giving little children kitty cats.

Three seconds later...

Rebecca Parrish (lecturing Xavier): It's not nice to try and take over the world just because you think you are smarter, more attractive, or more advanced than your neighbors...

Isabelle: Well folks, I guess my job here is done!

Isabelle (singing seductively): What would you do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o for a Klondike bar?

bump bump bump!

Wow, I can't believe you're all still here. Good for you.

Hey MissD! Great to see you coming around too!!

Damn, I missed Megan..... *where's a 4400 with the ability to slow/stop/speed up time when you need them?*

Oh, you crazy kids...and I mean that in a good way.

Yes, us crazy, crazy kids.... what to do with us?

*Tomatotinis and Grilled Pizzas Margarita over at PromicinJunkie's*

Yay!! I'm there, but am hoping that your couch is still too full for me

What are you talking about? You're the only one on my couch.... you know that! Everyone else is sitting on other furnature...

ahhhh.....so you DON'T remember what I am talking about?? Well, there is a few posts in questions thread about your couch being entirely too full, so you made a special spot for me and I liked it much better.

Oh that?? I thought we had resolved that....

Had we?? Is it bad that I don't remember? Could you maybe refresh my memory??

Well, we hadn't had our private cooking lessons in so long.... perhaps that's why your memory faded.

And I'll be more than glad to refresh your memory, in any way you want me to!

LMAO... I JUST got done referring to our "time" as private cooking lessons in the questions thread! It was trippy to come here and read that directly after I had just typed it!! spoooky....

PJ, you know better than to give me free reign when it comes to you refreshing me in any way!

See, another sign of how perfect we are for each other....

And you know I wouldn't make such a generous offer if I didn't expect you to take full advantage of it...

Well good then! Be prepared to be taken advantage of!!