You mean the Jordan Collier eyebroiw raise...well, maybe I was saving that for when my corpus collosum explodes in your presence....LOL!

Diana was inspired by all the candy hearts for Valentine's Day and made this one. I think you all will enjoy nibbling on it....

That Diana, she makes Mmmm....Jordan! feel like home!

ROFLMAO!

I really don't know what to say to that except

Oh, babe, you know you'd enjoy it too...I'm a sharing kind of guy...

And who else where you planning on sharing this with? inquiring minds want to know....

Depends on who all wants it...

Can we just not advertise it so hopefully no one else will take you up on the offer?

BUT YOU'RE the one who starts up these conversations that allow me to advertise....

Damn, I really need to re-evaluate my PR tactics....

Does those PR tactics include killing Amerirish and Elessar, since they already know about the offer?

I would NEVER kill two of my best friends on this forum, no matter how good the mojo! But I could give them Marco and Tom to keep their minds off of it!!

You black magic woman!

Ooohh, you two are so sneaky!

BUMPED from fate of second page

Aaah! So late in coming back here. But, yes, I am very happy with Jordan and Diana and now Xavier as well. But there was something about the writing that made me crack up more than I usually do. I can't put my finger on it...

BUMP!!!! Becuase I am not about to let this thread die in PJ's absence!

Oh wow does anyone else notice the unholy trinity is online right now????

LOL, I noticed

BUMP!!!! .....sadly.......

Can you FEEEEEEEEEL the looooooooove tonight? BUMP!

BUMPED IN TIME FOR THOSE MISSING FIVE MINUTES FROM Truth and Consequences, Parts I and II!

Jordan was lead, blindfolded, and at the end of a barrel of a gun over hill and dale. Eventually, they wound up at a television studio. The Religious Nut led him over to a chair and untied him. Then, Larry went to join the audience.

Jordan: Where am I?

Tom appears.

Tom: Why you're on the Gay 4400 Moment of Truth, hosted by yours truly.

The Gay 4400 Moment of Truth theme music plays as Tom takes his seat.

Audience (absentmindedly): Mmmm..........Tom Baldwin!

Jordan (to Audence): Hush yo' mouths! I'm the only one to Mmmm the Baldwin.

Tom: Don't mind him folks. He's just cranky because he can't have me.

Jordan: So how did you get this job?

Tom (sarcastically): You're not the only one who can go down on the producers...

Jordan (arches his eyebrow): Is there something you should tell us?

Tom: Hey! I'm the one asking the questions here! Didn't you see the credits? Tom Baldwin, Host? That means I ask the questions, not you, Jordan "I Will Sleep With Anyone" Collier.

Jordan: So, seriously, how did you get the job?

Tom: They loved me in Gay National Treasure: Book of Fashion Secrets and Fox contacted me to test for this show.

Jordan: What is with Fox? Is there some sort of 4400 conspiracy? First Summer Glau, then Matthew Dillanhunt, now Joel Gretsch. What's next? Chad Faust on New Amsterdam? Conchita Campbell on House? Jacqui MacKinsie on American Idol?

Tom and Jordan (thinking outloud in unison): Now if only Fox would pick up the 4400, the show....

Tom and Jordan look briefly in each other's eyes briefly, and their lips quiver in anticipation. But the moment passes, and Tom remembers why he's mad at Jordan.

Jordan: So you had me kidnapped and brought to this sleezy show?

Tom (shrugging): I just thought you'd feel right at home here...

Jordan: I'll ignore that. So, O Great Host, how does this damn show work?

Tom: Well, Jordan, it's really simple. I ask you 21 Yes or No Questions, each increasing in difficulty. Answer them all truthfully.... and I may consider going back with you. Otherwise, consider us finished.

From the audience....

Diana (absentmindedly): Mmmm.....Jordan!

Xavier (absentmindedly): Daddy!

Diana: Uh, I mean...Jordan, Jordan, he's our man, if he can't do it, no one can!

Tom shoots Diana an icy stare.

Tom: If the audience would kindly quiet down, we'll start our game.

Diana (sarcastically): Did Isabelle not get to the center of Tom's Tootsie-Pop?

Xavier: I guess the world may never know...

Jordan laughs.

Jordan: I always got to the soft chewy center of Tom's Tootsie-Pop.

Tom: Question 1: Have you slept with more than 1,001 men?

Jordan (sighing): Yes.

Tom: Question 2: Have you had sex with more than 1,001 men?

Jordan: Yes.

Audience gasps.

Tom: Question 3: Have you had sex with each of the 1,001 men more than once?

Jordan: Yes.

Audience gasps again.

Jordan (shrugs): What? You can't blame a man for having a healthy sexual appetite!

Tom: Question 4: Did you enjoy the sex that you had with each of the 1,001 men?

Jordan: No.

Question 5: Were some of the people you slept with pity sex or sex on a dare?

Jordan: Yes.

Question 6: Did you feel disgusted after having sex with them?

Jordan: Yes.

Tom: That's the end of Round 1. You can take the 5,000 dollars you earned this round, or you can choose to risk it and go on. But remember, if you take the money, you won't ever get me.

So, Jordan of the Many Men, do you want the money or do you want to continue?

Diana (absentmindedly): Mmmm..... Jordan!

Xavier (absentmindedly): Daddy!

Shawn: Will you please shut up, Diana? I want to hear if Jordan is going to continue.

Xavier sends a mild electrical current to Shawn's chair.

Diana smiles and waves at Shawn as he jumps uncontrollably in his chair.

Jordan: Tom, I think I am going to continue.

Question 7: Do you love Diana?

Jordan: No.

Xavier: Daddy doesn't love me. Daddy will pay for not loving me.

Jordan (whispering to Tom): In case it helps, I love Diana like a sister, but never like the way I love you.

Tom: Hmmph!

Question 8: Do you love Larry?

Jordan: No.

Question 9: Do you love Kyle?

Jordan: No.

Jordan (whipering to Tom): I like Kyle a lot, even enjoy a good roll in the hay with him, but love, it is not.

Tom (whispering to Jordan): Yes, he's a man, but he's still my son for crying out loud! The way you just put it does nothing to make me want to take you back.

Question 10: Do you love Shawn?

Jordan: I'm using my pass, Tom. I want a new question.

Tom: What a wuss! (rolls eyes:) Question 10: Do you love Marco?

Jordan: No.

Question 11: Last question this round.... Do you love Tom?

Jordan: Of course I do. What kind of question is that?

Tom: Yes or no responses please.

Jordan: Yes.

Tom: Congradulations on surviving another round. And I mean that literally.

Jordan (arches eyebrow): Oh?

Tom: Didn't I tell you that the chair is hardwired to a bomb that's set to go off if you tell a lie?

Jordan: But why, Tom? Why?

Tom: You crushed me, Jordan.... and now I want to crush you.

Jordan: So, 15,000 dollars and no you? Or you and no money? (sighs:) Good grief! What a choice...

Tom: Yep, that's the choice...

Tom's hand accidently brushes across Jordan's arm, instantly enlarging Jordan's corpus collosum. Tom's eyes grow large with excitement, but then dim when he remembers what Jordan did to him.

Jordan: In that case, bring on Round 3.

Tom: We will, after these messages.

Kevin Burkhoff: Hi, it's me, Kevin Burkhoff. (looks curiously into the camera:) Who am I? I'm the resident genius and the Father of the Gay 4400 Technology. You may not remember me because I really don't have much of a role in the Jordan-Tom-Shawn-Kyle love parrallelogram.

(looks again into the camera): What am I doing here? I'm here to tell you about one of my favorite snacks--- Giant sunflower seeds. They're salty and tangy and the size of baseballs. Once you get your jaws around them and crack them, they have the best nut taste of any nuts around. So, the next time, you're in Costco, make sure to buy Giant sunflower seeds. Tell them that Dr. Burkhoff sent you....

Tom: Question 12: Did you love me even back at Comic Book Camp?

Jordan: Yes.

Question 13: Did you want to tell me back at Comic Book Camp?

Jordan: Yes.

Question 14: Did you purposely embarrass Larry out of Comic Book Camp because you feared that he and I might actually become close?

Jordan (hangs head:) Yes.

Question 15: Did you go to Real Estate camp after you refused to admit your feelings to me and I threatened to go to Baseball Camp?

Jordan: Yes.

Jordan (whispering to Tom): I couldn't bear you rejecting me. You were so smart and funny and sexy and you seemed so into me. I was so insecure back then, and I was afraid this was just some trick on your part. That you wanted me to confess my feelings just so you could make fun of me... or worse. So I lied when you asked me if I wanted you.

Tom (whispering to Jordan): If you had said yes, you could have had me.

Jordan (whispering to Tom): Can I have you now?

Tom (whispering to Jordan): Nope.

However, as he said that, Tom licked his lips like a dog wanting a bone.

Tom: So, Jordan of the Man Harem, do you want the 25,000 dollars or the chance to move on?

Jordan: No need to think about this. Next round please, Tommy.

Tom (shrugs): It's your deathwish...

Tom: Question 16: When you slept with those other men, did you secretly wish it was me you were sleeping with?

Jordan: Yes.

Audience gasps.

Question 17: Is it true you only started dating Shawn because it was closest thing you could get to me?

Jordan: Yes.

Audience gasps again.

Jordan: Can you audience do nothing but gasp?

Audience: Nope.

Jordan: Then what else can you do?

Audience: Mmmm....... Tom Baldwin!

Jordan: Nah uh! You guys did not just do that...

Isabelle: Uh, huh! Oh yes we did....

Jordan: Skank!

Isabelle: Man-ho!

Question 18: If you could have slept with Shawn and never have been caught, would you have?

Jordan (to self): Damn! How I wished I hadn't used that pass so early...

Jordan: Yes.

Tom (whispering to Jordan): How could you?

Jordan (whispering to Tom): Because swimming lessons from Shawn are amazing! The only thing that I regret about those pictures is that they hurt you. That--- I can't live with.

Tom: Next round...

Jordan: Don't I get a choice?

Tom: No.

Tom: Question 19: Would you give up Shawn if I did take you back?

Jordan: Yes.

Question 20: If you came back to me, would you get Diana to end the pregnancy?

Jordan: Yes.

Xavier: Daddy not only hates me, but seeks to kill me. Tom and Jordan must die!

Tom: Very good, Jordan. You survived 20 tough questions and looking dapper as always.

Jordan: Thank you, my special Tommy boy.

Tom: Don't make me jump over onto your chair and rip your shirt off!

Jordan (turned on): Is that a promise?

Tom: Would you look at that? We have to take one more break, and then we'll find out if Jordan wants to answer the final question or take the 250,000 dollars and run.

Shawn: Have you been loved and left behind by Jordan Collier? I have. Have you had your emotioned jerked around so many times that you wonder if you're a giant corpus collosum? I have. Do you still dream of being with Jordan Collier? I do. If you suffer from any of these symptoms, you need to join Jordan Anonymous.

We here at Jordan Anonymous grieve our losses together and learn new ways for ensnaring the object of our affection. Everyone's welcome.... men, women, dwarfs, fairies, even trolls. So the next time someone asks you if your addicted to Jordan, just say JA.

Tom: And wer're back. Before we left, Jordan was asked if he wanted to hear the final question, or if he wanted the money. So, Jordy, what will it be?

Jordan: I'm taking the question, Tom!

Tom: Question 21: Did you sleep with Shawn in the night in question?

Jordan (sweating): I don't know... did I.... or didn't I? Was it a dream that a 4400 generated on behalf of one of my enemies or was it real?

Tom: I'm sorry, but I need a simple yes or no answer.

Xavier: Should I reveal to Jordan the truth? (still thinking about it:) Nah....

Jordan (guessing): No.

Nothing happens.

Xavier (fuming): What? Nothing happened! How can this be?

[End Episode.]

BUMPED so Megan can read it at work....

AWWWW Thanks hun! I am about to dive right in!

ROFLMFAO!!!!!! Holy comic book camp! That was the funniest episode I think I have ever read! And that is saying a lot, since this is the funniest show since WLIIA?! I am WAY too invested in this story line I think I was gasping more than the audience! Man that was a great epi! Its all out in the open. Except, what about that last question?????? Was the answer a blatant lie or did nothing really happen??? I don't think I can bear the real answer!

Wow, that was really good. Very intriguing.

PJ, PJ, you leave us whetting our lips and panting for more. You TEASE!!!!

Yes, I know, JordanFan, I know. It's all in my masterplan to take over the world....

Is it all out in the open, or is it another PJ tease.... stay tuned to find out!

Like I would do anything else......

You know it!

Just say JA.

Glad someone got that joke, Anime!

oh my.. that was funny!

Wow great to see you back Andrea!!! Hope you have time to catch up on all of the hilarity in this thread!!!!

"The Morning After"
Guest Directed by Megan3375

[Begin Episode.]

Marco (in voiceover): Sometimes they say that when the truth comes out, the air is cleared. But what they fail to mention is with that emotional scrubbing, new issues rise to the surface. Was she lying to me even as she was laying in bed with me? What else was he hiding? Is it even worth it to continue being in a relationship with them?

Sometimes, with the truth, comes the hard work of restoring order out of the chaos and rubble that had once stood so firm. Maybe the hard work is recognizing that the relationship is a disaster zone and that no amount of rehab, no amount of rebuilding will ever produce anything of substance. In those cases, the only thing you can do is walk away. Other times, a simple coat of paint and some minor structural changes is all that needed. In any case, Change came riding in on the back of Truth and regardless of how one reacts to Change, they will never be the same.

[Fade in to PJ and Kyle in the hotel room.]

Kyle lays in the bed, in yet another coma. PJ is leaning over him, dressed in a Kyco business suit.

PJ leans in and kisses Kyle on the mouth.

PJ: I enjoyed last night alot, Kyle. I know if you were awake, you would ask me why I did this to you, and I think you are entitled to an answer. I did it to save your life.

PJ looks down at Kyle and sighs.

PJ: I can't free you from Jordan's charms if you are dead, Kyle. Meghan may not want you, but I certainly do.

PJ left for his meeting with Meghan. In a car garage in North Promise City....

Meghan: Is he dead?

PJ: Depends on what you definition of dead is....

Meghan: Usually when I say dead, I mean without brain function.

PJ: In that case, no.

Meghan: He's alive?

PJ: I wouldn't call it that...

Meghan: Then what would you call it?

PJ: A coma.

Meghan (slapping PJ): Didn't I tell you to kill him?

PJ: Yes.

Meghan: Then why isn't he dead?

PJ: I wish to renegotiate the terms of our contract.

Meghan: Don't tell me you want the fruitcake.

PJ: As a matter of fact, I do.

Meghan (shocked): Why? The only two things he's good for is what's in his pockets and what's between his legs, and even then, you got to play gay porn to get it excited.

PJ: No wonder why he was out tonight considering suicide.

Meghan: What do you mean?

PJ: He purposely went to an anti-gay bar. He was hoping to be beaten into a bloody pulp, just as you do on a daily basis, on his emotions and self worth. If I hadn't been there to rearrange reality, we'd be discussing payment, not my failure.

Meghan (shrugging): If he went in there willingly, he deserved what he would have got.

PJ: That's just like you, Meghan. If it's not expensive, shiny, or new, you don't want it. Beauty lies in the flaws, my dear, not in its absence.

Meghan: So, what is this? Beat up on gorgeous blondes day?

PJ: No, I came to offer you a deal. Release the hit on Kyle and allow him to be free, and I will pay you twenty million dollars. Think about it, Meghs.... all those pretty things you can buy for twenty million dollars. All those luscious men you could hire to fill your bed.

Meghan (thinking): Well, I could use the money....

PJ: And?

Meghan: And I could pay off the Gay HSN bill with that...

PJ: And?

Meghan: And all those hot men in my bed would be sweet...

PJ (thumping foot): And?

Meghan: But I can't. My boss would kill me. Literally...

PJ: Who is your boss? Perhaps I could protect you...

Meghan (face becomes white as a sheet): I'm sorry... I can't. They're powerful, maybe too powerful.

PJ: What do you mean?

Meghan: They have people everywhere. And they have unlimited resources.

PJ (sarcastically): Sounds like the Republican Party...

Meghan looks around and then slaps PJ.

Meghan: Shhh! They might hear you... (pauses for effect, then continues:) Even now, they have a plan underway that will guarentee their path to power and they won't anything get in their way.

PJ: Anything?

Meghan: Anything.

Meghan noticed a weed growing through a crack in the garage. She reached down and grabbed it, using her power to transform it into a poison dagger.

Meghan: I'm sorry, PJ, but your services aren't needed anymore.

PJ (mock pouts): Meghan, I'm hurt.

Meghan lunges towards PJ.

PJ: Awee... is the blonde bimbo actually trying to fight?

Meghan: You won't be saying anything once I stab this dagger through your heart. You see, that weed was the flower of the mandrake root, a powerful and deadly toxin.

PJ: So, Blondie has been hitting the Harry Potter movies a bit too hard...

Meghan: Eh, the only thing I want hairy is a man's legs.

Meghan lunges at PJ again.

PJ turns the garage level into an ice skating rink.

PJ: You amuse me, Meghan, so I thought I'd amuse you...

But Meghan fell, sliding across the ice and stabbing PJ with the poisoned dagger.

PJ: Oww....

PJ fell to the ground, apparently dead.

Just then, Meghan's phone rang.

Meghan: Hello?

Voice on the other end: Imroth, you're late.

Meghan/Imroth: I had an.... unexpected delay.

Voice: Make sure it doesn't happen again. Now, get your a** back here.

Meghan/Imroth: As you wish....

[End Scene.]

Thanks, Andrea! Make sure to support the Save the 4400 Campaign, and feel free to catch up on all those missed Gay 4400 episodes.....

That Bitch!!!!

All I can say right now is:

PJ fell to the ground, apparently dead.

The word apparently better be true, I don't think I can bear to see PJ leave the story yet!

The rest of my thoughts will be posted in the 1,001 things thread, tune in!



Oh and I am ssssssooooo stoked that I finally reached guest director status!! Thanks PJ!

You're welcome Megan.... now get going updating!

Yes Sir *salutes*

Meghan appears at Rebecca's beachhouse.

Meghan: Honey, I'm home...

Rebecca: Imroth, glad to see you've finally join us.

Meghan: You keep it up Parrish, and I might "accidently" allow your existence to be known.

Rebecca (gasps): You wouldn't!

Meghan (shrugs): Nine pieces of the pie are definately larger than ten....

Rebecca: If the great Imroth would please sit down, we'll continue the meeting.

Around a giant table, sat ten people. There was Meghan, Rebecca Parrish, Rosie O'Donnell (master of the entertainment industry), Katie Kouric (master of the news), Hillary Clinton (master of the political arena), Martha Stewart (master of business), Omarosa (master of bitchiness), Oprah (master of mind control), Paula Abdul (master of hypnotic music), and Doctor Ruth (master of heath and sex).

Meghan: So what is the nature of the meeting?

Rebecca: We're discussing the Master Plan.

Meghan: Well, Kyle is in a coma and PJ is dead.

Martha Stewart (in sinister voice): Very well done, Imroth. You may live another day.

Rebecca: And what about Tom and Jordan?

Rosie O'Donnell: According to my sources, there's a possibility of reconcilliation, but it's highly unlikely. Jordan's f***ed up one too many times.

Katie Kouric: Don't you mean gossip whores, Rosie?

Rosie: Shut the hell up, Little Miss Perky Breasts...

Rebecca (slamming the gavel on the desk): Okay, Rosie. That is quite enough. We ARE not on the View!

Rosie: Sorry...

Rebecca: That's better....

Oprah: What about the little girl with the psychic powers....

Meghan: You mean Maia?

Oprah: Yeah, her.

Meghan: No one knows.

Oprah (smiling and letting her fangs show): Good! That's the way the Cosmic Oprah likes it...

Rebecca: And Shawn?

Meghan: He's drowning in a bottle. Just a few more pushes and he'll off himself.

Group cackles.

All (in unison): Double, double, toil and trouble, cauldron burn and fire bubble.

Paula: Hit me up, won't you love me forever...O o o... something something hit and run....

Omarosa: No wonder why you were a one hit wonder.

Paula: Shut up! You're just a female Simon Cowell. Only uglier...

Omarosa: If it wasn't for American Idol, you'd of faded off into oblivion...

Paula: Tabloid queen!

Rosie: I'm the tabloid queen, bitch!

Meghan (snickering): You can say that again...

Rebecca: So, what about our ace in the bag, baby Xavier?

Dr. Ruth: All signs point to a healthy pregnancy.

All: Mwahahahahahahahahahah! At last our plans will be realized....

Just then, Marco came in the room, dressed in just a black bowtie and black bikini briefs. His hands contained several trays of sushi.

Rosie: No thanks! I had tuna earlier...

Marco sees Meghan. Marco drops the tray on the table.

Marco: Oh f***!

Marco begins to run.

Rebecca: Go convince him that what he saw was entirely innocent.... or take care of that troublesome geek.

Meghan goes off to do damage control.

[End Scene.]

WHAT?!?! Isn't this the fisrt time we have seen Marco since the fateful crash?


Okay that was totally flippin hilarious... you nailed everyone of those cameos! Great job! Loved the Macbeth reference!!!

Thank you! Thank you! Now give me some recaps, or I'll turn into Oprah on your ass....

Awesome, PJ! Yay, Marco's alive!

Thanks for the updates Megan, I popped into your thread first and realized there was a new episode up that I missed, so I had rush right over here to read it

Anytime Marcofan! I wouldn't be able to read the latest episodes without recapping all the delicious unfolding events of the very best gay characters ever!

Yes, Megan.... I love the way you recap. It brings me to stitches and helps me to remember!

LOL! Thanks PJ, you know if you ever need any healing for those stitches you koow who to ask!!!

Oh, I know exactly where to go....