QUOTE (PsyFanPinapplejuice @ Aug 24 2007, 09:57 PM)

I wonder why Gus's parents didn't allow him to attend
I suspect that a large part of it was that they didn't want to split up Shawn and Gus. Lifelong friends are hard enough to find for the average child, but for two boys like Shawn and gus I imagine it would be even more difficult because of their obviously high IQs. Finding a peer that you can relate to in a regular school when you have an extremely high IQ makes it difficult. There would have been a lot of other kids in that school with extremely high IQs, so finding peers who could understand and relate to him wouldn't have been a problem for Gus, but finding peers who were just as smart as he is, *but* could also have fun and encourage him to be a child while he still had the chance would have been extremely hard to find anywhere, public school or private. I think they had his best interests at heart.
As to why they didn't just say that rather than say that they couldn't afford it or that it was a long drive, I think was a matter of diplomacy. Parents walk a very high, narrow tightrope with their kids. You have to look at your child as objectively as you can when these kinds of decisions arise, and you have to be aware of their strengths and weaknesses and their capabilities, and be honest with yourself. That is difficult enough, but then when your child asks you why you decided something, or if you think they can do something, it gets even more difficult, because you don't want to say anything to your child that they might internalize (and they will, believe me) which will damage their self esteem and their belief in themselves. They wouldn't have wanted to tell Gus that they didn't want him to go because they were worried he couldn't make friends as good as Shawn or that he wouldn't have had a real childhood because Gus might have blamed Shawn(he was just a kid after all), or felt like his parents thought him incapable of making friends. It might have made him angry, but it would also plant seeds of self doubt, too.
When my daughter finished the first grade, they gave all of the first graders IQ tests and a bunch of other tests to see what their potential was and help them figure out where to place them the next year. As it happened, she tested well enough in two areas that she qualified for a learning enrichment program that would take her out of the regular classroom one day a week to do advanced projects and activities, as well as a special class for kids who were gifted in art. They said that she could do both, but my husband and I had to decide if we wanted her to do both or either. She wanted to do both, she honestly believed that she could do it without a problem, because as difficult as it can be for parents to be objective and honest about what their kids can and can't do, it's much, much harder for a kid (or anyone for that matter) to be objective about themselves. We knew that if she did the academic program, she would still have to make up all the work she missed in her regular classes that one day every week that she was out, and the art class was every day during her free period so she wouldn't have to make up missed work. Plus, the art class was more of a fun activity and we wanted her to have time to do fun and creative things, so we opted to let her take the art class but not the other. She was upset with us, and she did figure out on her own part of why we didn't let her take the academic one and insisted for two years after that she could have handled it and kept up. Now she says she is glad we didn't let her do both, though. I'm still not sure if she fully understands the part about us wanting her to have time to do things like play soccer or have friends, but she is getting some of it. But we didn't want to say anything that might make her feel like she wasn't smart enough to do it, or to reinforce the belief she had at the time that she had to be the smartest, most advanced kid in her class at the exclusion of everything else like friendships and extracurricular activities.Gus seems like if they'd let him, he would have become so obsessed with his education that he would focus on that and only that to the point that one day he'd look up and realize that his whole childhood had flasshed past without him noticing.