I'm completely confused about Lassiter's previous relationship/marriage...hopefully somebody here understands it better than I do.

In the pilot, Shawn says Lassiter and the blonde are together, but then later she says they've been separated for five months--and that she didn't want people to think she was sleeping her way up the ladder. This makes me think they had dated while they were partners.

Then with the figurines, Lassiter says he's a "not-quite-ex-husband." And in the finale he says the issue of kids caused problems with his wife.

So...who is this wife? Is it the blonde? I can't believe that the police department would pair a married couple together, and I can't believe they'd be unaware of a marriage between their officers. But if the wife is somebody we don't know, it seems really weird that Lassiter would have had the blonde as a girlfriend when he wasn't divorced yet.

So what am I missing here? Anybody know what's going on?

From the time of the pilot, Lassiter and his wife had been separated for 5 months. His partner and him had been sleeping together, but we do not know how long they have been. As for the "soon-to-be", separation doesn't mean the same AS divorce. I assume by that statement that proceedings have only just started.

Aside from all that, we know nothing else about the marriage except that Lassiter's wife assumed he didn't want kids, but he does.

I could have sworn his partner said she and Lassiter had been separated for five months. I must need to watch the pilot again.

rewatch the restaurant scene with Lassie and Lucinda (the partner) and she explains why she wouldn't reveal to anyone the nature of their relationship ("working up the ladder the hard way..." and saying "you're barely separated." He replies, "It's been 5 months."

Also when Shawn goes to see Lucinda. It's the scene just before the shooting range (within about the last 15 minutes). Shawn says "Yes, I know you have someone special. He's married and/or separated."

Hope this helps.