This is so funny. For some reason 'Time has stopped in Paris' is my favorite. Perhaps a ballad about the Crystal Smith experience or looking for love in general? We could come up with more. I wish you hadn't started this! And I wonder if #8 'You Don't Want To Make Him Angry' would have the word "lotion" in it at all?

Cute idea. You've really got a dynamite sense of humor.

Molly

The Randy Disher Project "B-Sides", for starters:

"Your Globe Is My World"

"I Like To Use My Radio (Even Though You're Only 10 Feet Away)"

"You're Nothing But A Bank Pen Thief"

Hey, for the next album, could I request a Disher and Stottlemeyer version duet of 'Ain't No Sunshine'?
And 'He Just Loves A Good Exhumation' would be a great song (with credit to Teresa for the quote from her review of Mrs. Monk).A few others-

'I Love You, Man'
'Arresting My Girlfriend (For Conspiracy To Commit Murder)'
'Prescription Sunglasses' (in recognition of on of his moments of triumph)
'Mad Skilz'
'Do I Sound Like A Real Cop?' (aka 'Screw The Backup, I'm Goin' In!')
'Italian Suit'
'Life Behind The Badge'
'Did He Touch you?' (this might be a ballad)
'Took My Blanket, And All I Got Was A Dollar'
'My Heart Left Me In San Francisco, For A Photo Shoot In Aruba'
'Where The H*ll Is My Mother, You Son Of A B*tch?!'
'Cabana Boy With A Bagel'
A stirring duet of 'O Holy Night' with Stottlemeyer

Meanwhile...

Adrian Monk, who finally was coaxed in having the courage to set foot in a recording studio (as long as it is disinfected every 12 hours and only he sets foot in it) will make his solo debut:

Monk has written and recorded about 50 tracks, 15 of which will appear on his debut LP. Tentative titles include the following:

*

"You Can't Rush The Monk"
"I Am In Hell"
"I'm Still Working On The Milk (I Just Can't Do It)"
"UFOs, Elves & Income Tax Rebates"
"The Opposite Of Batman"
"Folding Like A Cheap Tent"
"I'm Going To Be All Alone (What A Time To Be Me)"
"Backup Bristles For Backup Toothbrushes"
"I'm Not A Child (I Can't Find My PJ's)"
"I Didn't Shower With Other Guys (I Had A Note From My Doctor)"
"It's A Stampede (Get A Wipe Ready)"
"The Askew Police"
"Hand Wash, No Bleach, Tumble Dry, Medium Heat, Cool Iron Is Just How I Like It"
"I Made A Friend (You Should Try It Some Time)"
"Bomb Is Good"
"Should I Bring My Clarinet? (I Could Practice In The Car)"
"Pete & Repeat"
"She Forgot She Was A Vegetarian (That's Like Forgetting You're A Republican)"
"Chalk Dust (Go To The Nurse)"
"You Know Who You Should Marry? (The Elephant Man)"
"Speedy Dates (They're Like Dante's Seventh Circle Of Hell")
"I Hope One Day To Be A Vegetable"
"The Stitching Is All Different (I Have To Live In This Town")
"I'm Allowed To Feel Good About Myself Once A Decade"
"I Think I'm Finally Getting The Hang Of Sixth Grade"
"Concentrate (Be The Dotted Line)"
"When You Get To The Garbage Dump (My Bags Go In Sector Nine)"
"There's An Ape In My House"
"I Was Born Naturally (But I Was Raised Caesarean)"
"Ralph Nader Uses Wipes"
"You Think Your House Is Clean, Mister? (You Don't Know The Meaning Of The Word Clean)"
"I Needed A Babysitter When I Was 19 (It Was The Late Seventies)"
"I Love Her, Couldn't Be Better (........Hhhhelp Mmmeee!)"
"Conundrum (It's A Funny Word)"
"I'm Afraid Of Change (And I'm Afraid Of Not Changing")
"L7"
"I've Never Seen My Feet (I Must Have Eighteen Toes)"
"Stop Calling Me The Prince Of Darkness (That's How Rumors Get Started)"
"You Can't Clean Nature With Nature"
"Keepaway (I Played A Lot Of It)"
"Cross At The Green (Not In-Between)"
"False Alarm (It's A Broken Q)"
"Sierra Springs (It's Exquisite")
"Cadillac Of First-Aid Kits"
"No Two Flakes Are The Same (Somehow, It's Still Beautiful")
"I Dreamed You Were A Blonde (And You Looked Pretty Different")
"It's Like Sophie's Choice, Except It's Soup"
"Dear Trudy"

*

"No Two Flakes Are The Same" and "Dear Trudy" are the two great love ballad anthems for his dearest beloved.

XOXO,
Noah Eaton

More Randy Disher Project Titles:

I'm On My Feet Cause This Is How I Stand
We Forgive You Jenny Mandeville But Not For Everything
Aim That Yo-Yo At Me Again And You'll Be The Cat In The Yo-Yo String
Wanna Take Monk's Medicine So I Can Drive The Cool Red Car
Hey, Willie, Let Me On Your Bus

Hey I like those Disher songs that you made up meme. Those were too funny.

Thanks, guys.

I'm just a natural born smart-a##

Meme

LMAO! Liv, SunnyScorpio and memebeck, your song titles are hilarious.

I think the B-side of I'm On My Feet Cause This Is How I Stand could only be:
I'm Dressed Like This Cause This Is How I Dress, sung by Natalie of course.

Or another Natalie song:
My Job Is Not To Wait (In The Facility Thing)

SunnyScorpio--
Loved your Monk titles. Toooooooo funny.

Yeah, Raven, I hadn't thought about a B-side to my titles, but that's definitely a winner!!

Meme